~Yamato's POV~
Bats. I always hated bats. They flap around looking at you looking as if they are waiting for the right moment to pounce at you and drain your blood from your neck a la Dracula. It gets worse. Y'see the real reason I hate bats is because they can be easily associatiated with a certain vampire digimon we all know and... hate. Yes, I know him all to well.
Myotismon.
I'm trying not to think about what happened... I was trying to save that Gatsumon... I'm no savior, but looking in the eyes of such a poor defenceless creature... I just couldn't say no! I mean after all I am the carrior of FRIENDSHIP! Yes, friendship, that's a major laugh. I mean some friend _I AM_ ... I'm always so... pushy, overbearing... always smothering those I love with too much concern... but I locked my feelings in side of me so long ago, I've blocked the memories of a whole family out, and the pain, the pain's been pushed down too. Yes, /pushed down/, as in... forced numbness, as in... not really dealing with the inner pain, but locking it away deep inside of you, trying so hard to be immune to everything, pushing people away in order to stop myself from feeling the pain... and I never even realised I did it... until now.
Getting back to the point. I can't stop trying to be /physically/ close to my loved ones because no matter what, no matter how hard I try, and yes, I DO try, I try SO HARD!, I can't allow anyone into my heart. I am empty inside. It's such an overbearing feeling. I try to concentrate on the small things, the precious little things that are okay. But... I /can't/.
I oversquash them, and TAKERU, dearest Takeru... I can't help OBSESS over him. My dear sweet otoutochan! He's so... so... dear, and sweet, but I said that already, didn't I?
All my life the only consistant thing was inconsistancy. I... I don't even know when I buried myself inside of me, but I did, and I never even realised I had... nobody actually betrayed me, at least not... at least not... intentionally, I think. All the people who have hurt me would probably be shocked and upset to know that they caused me any pain. That is why I keep it inside of me. If my friends or family knew it would hurt them so much.
I've always been oversensitive. I know, how... un-boy-ish. Every little thing would weigh down on me, and when mom and dad devorced... I couldn't show it anymore... I mean... they were hurting /so much/ as it was, I didn't want to make them hurt more, not over me. It was a /small/ concern, _really_! Or that's what I thought, at least. So I tried to be all... cold, and uncaring towards other, but... I couldn't. So I just pushed and pushed, and it worked! ... a little too well, even.
Why can't I feel. I'm /guessing/ it's my fault.
Now I'm erupting. This pain is coming out. What now? I have sudden urges to track down everyone who ever hurt me, even little things, even _unintentional_ things... and scream at them... harrass them... and ask them...
What now? What am I going to do know?
But I can't. I can't tell them that, not yet! I'm still afraid to hurt them. So I'm still holding this in...
...alone I break
~~~~~
A/N: Another promise broken. I said I'd have it up in a week, but look! It's been FOUR MONTHS!! ...look how time flys. Anyway... I just wrote this teeny tiny POV thingy from Yama-sama's POV... and ummm... yeah, this _IS_ relevant! Yama says he wants to scream at all those who hurt him... and scream at Taichi he will... ^.~
So yeah, I /completely/ forgot quite a few /major/ details I was going to include in this story. So I will now re-make-up this fanfiction! As in, rewrite part of the plot.
.sarcasm. Oh well, at least my /writing/ has improved in the last 2 1/2 years. ./sarcasm.
~Raspberry Cube
Bats. I always hated bats. They flap around looking at you looking as if they are waiting for the right moment to pounce at you and drain your blood from your neck a la Dracula. It gets worse. Y'see the real reason I hate bats is because they can be easily associatiated with a certain vampire digimon we all know and... hate. Yes, I know him all to well.
Myotismon.
I'm trying not to think about what happened... I was trying to save that Gatsumon... I'm no savior, but looking in the eyes of such a poor defenceless creature... I just couldn't say no! I mean after all I am the carrior of FRIENDSHIP! Yes, friendship, that's a major laugh. I mean some friend _I AM_ ... I'm always so... pushy, overbearing... always smothering those I love with too much concern... but I locked my feelings in side of me so long ago, I've blocked the memories of a whole family out, and the pain, the pain's been pushed down too. Yes, /pushed down/, as in... forced numbness, as in... not really dealing with the inner pain, but locking it away deep inside of you, trying so hard to be immune to everything, pushing people away in order to stop myself from feeling the pain... and I never even realised I did it... until now.
Getting back to the point. I can't stop trying to be /physically/ close to my loved ones because no matter what, no matter how hard I try, and yes, I DO try, I try SO HARD!, I can't allow anyone into my heart. I am empty inside. It's such an overbearing feeling. I try to concentrate on the small things, the precious little things that are okay. But... I /can't/.
I oversquash them, and TAKERU, dearest Takeru... I can't help OBSESS over him. My dear sweet otoutochan! He's so... so... dear, and sweet, but I said that already, didn't I?
All my life the only consistant thing was inconsistancy. I... I don't even know when I buried myself inside of me, but I did, and I never even realised I had... nobody actually betrayed me, at least not... at least not... intentionally, I think. All the people who have hurt me would probably be shocked and upset to know that they caused me any pain. That is why I keep it inside of me. If my friends or family knew it would hurt them so much.
I've always been oversensitive. I know, how... un-boy-ish. Every little thing would weigh down on me, and when mom and dad devorced... I couldn't show it anymore... I mean... they were hurting /so much/ as it was, I didn't want to make them hurt more, not over me. It was a /small/ concern, _really_! Or that's what I thought, at least. So I tried to be all... cold, and uncaring towards other, but... I couldn't. So I just pushed and pushed, and it worked! ... a little too well, even.
Why can't I feel. I'm /guessing/ it's my fault.
Now I'm erupting. This pain is coming out. What now? I have sudden urges to track down everyone who ever hurt me, even little things, even _unintentional_ things... and scream at them... harrass them... and ask them...
What now? What am I going to do know?
But I can't. I can't tell them that, not yet! I'm still afraid to hurt them. So I'm still holding this in...
...alone I break
~~~~~
A/N: Another promise broken. I said I'd have it up in a week, but look! It's been FOUR MONTHS!! ...look how time flys. Anyway... I just wrote this teeny tiny POV thingy from Yama-sama's POV... and ummm... yeah, this _IS_ relevant! Yama says he wants to scream at all those who hurt him... and scream at Taichi he will... ^.~
So yeah, I /completely/ forgot quite a few /major/ details I was going to include in this story. So I will now re-make-up this fanfiction! As in, rewrite part of the plot.
.sarcasm. Oh well, at least my /writing/ has improved in the last 2 1/2 years. ./sarcasm.
~Raspberry Cube