Summary: Spike/ Buffy romance eventually but with a few other
people thrown into the mix to stir things up a bit... Set
after season 6. Spike does a little 'soul searching' and ends
up in the last place you would imagine. ATS crossover at
first.
Spoilers: Everything up to season 6 and a touch of season 7.
My first fic! Feedback needed please! I'll take the good with the bad. Ideas accepted too!
Disclaimers: Joss owns them all. I am just borrowing for now!
His New Life
Spike looked up from a book he'd been intently studying with a raised eyebrow. Upon hearing his name, he turned a curious eye toward the sofa sitting in the middle of the Hyperion lobby. Cordelia and Kitara were sitting together giggling like teenagers at a joke obviously made at his expense. Catching Kit's eye, he wiggled his brows flirtatiously.
"I can hear you. Vampire, remember? 's not polite to talk about a bloke when he's sitting in the same room you know."
Kit rolled her eyes and smiled widely. "We weren't talking about you, Spike. We were talking about someone else. I'm sure you wouldn't know him."
"Uh huh. Spike is such a common name of course," he answered in a low tease.
"Anyway, this guy is totally hot! Not like you at all," she added, teasing back.
He stood up, laying his book on the table beside the chair he'd been sitting in. He dropped his hidden smile and turned around to face them. "Well ladies, sun's up. I'm gonna crash."
As he turned and began walking up the stairs, Kitara called up to him. "Night, Spike!"
"Night, pet."
A quiet giggle emerged from the girls downstairs. With a shake of his head, he entered his room. Quickly undressing, he climbed in underneath the sheet. Lying on his back, hands tucked behind his head he contemplated how his life had changed after receiving his soul almost a year ago.
Lying battered and bruised after receiving his 'reward', Spike cried a bucket of tears for the victims and their families who were unfortunate enough to have crossed his path. In an instant the guilt and remorse of a century of pain and death struck him. It remained a mystery how long he had been in that cave, or how he'd finally managed to crawl out of it. Thinking he would be able to handle it when he'd asked for his soul, the realization hit him that nothing could have prepared him for what he was feeling. The emotional pain he was forced to bare was much worse than he had anticipated. He'd remained in Africa for a couple of months feeling sorry for himself, trying to come to terms with the terrible things he had done. Another couple of months on a barge back to the States, mostly left alone with his own thoughts for company, helped to enhance his depression. By the time he reached L.A. his emotional state had turned to anger. Anger at his self and the existence he'd lived for over a century.
The next few months were spent hitting the city's lowest spots where he'd goad demons and humans alike into drunken fights. He was praying someone would get the best of him and finally end his torment. Even carrying a death wish, he was still the Big Bad and refused to go down without a fight. His skills were better than any opponent he'd faced and he hadn't even come close to the end he was seeking. The one revelation he received happened the first night he picked a brawl with a human. Spike had managed two good punches before realizing his brain wasn't frying him alive. Obviously, the African demon had had a sense of humor and removed the chip in Spike's head while restoring his soul. He'd gotten the one thing he had wanted for three years but now had a conscience to negate the prize. 'Irony at it's bloody best' he'd thought at the time.
Night after night he'd wake up in a dark alley or an abandoned building hung over and bruised. Finally bored with that, he made what he thought would be his final decision. He'd go to the one person he knew could and would end his miserable existence.
As he stood at the door of the Hyperion hotel he let his mind wander to Sunnydale. It wasn't often he'd let himself think of 'her'. The pain and guilt of the last time he'd seen Buffy was too much to bare. He'd felt disgusted with himself at the time and now with his brand new soul it felt a hundred times worse. He really felt for the first time that he was the monster she always accused him of being. But he missed her. And he dreamt about her. The dreams would always start the way he envisioned things could have been between them, but then always ended with Buffy having the same disgusted look on her face. He always woke with the feeling that he would never be deserving enough to face her again. His intention from the beginning was to return and beg for her forgiveness, and to let her know what he had done for her. Once he came to the conclusion that he could never be good enough for her, he knew he would never go back.
He was still thinking of her when the door opened to reveal Angel standing stunned in the lobby. Expecting to be staked on the spot, Spike gave his usual cocky attitude and swagger until the other vampire stepped aside to let him enter. The last time they'd met, Spike had paid to have Angel tortured. Figuring payback would definitely be in order, he was surprised when Angel had not only let him in, but also offered him blood and a bed to sleep in.
With little argument Spike accepted his offer. He was confused and more than a little curious as to why he was not dust. This reason alone was enough to stick around. The next morning, after his first somewhat relaxing night's sleep in ages, he found his way to Angel waiting patiently downstairs. After coming to a truce of sorts, Angel revealed that Buffy had made him aware of Spikes chipped status. She had also explained how he'd stood beside her and the scoobies, fighting the good fight against Glory. Knowing Buffy would never have told him about their 'relationship' he figured Angel had assumed he was helping out of nothing short of boredom. Once Spike was aware that his life still wasn't going to end, he began to accept the fact that he would have to learn to deal with his past. Here in the company of a familiar face, even if it was Angel's, he would have to find his place again.
So that's how he came to be in L.A., living in the hotel owned by his former rival turned almost constant companion. Angel worked with Spike continuously, helping him deal with his newly acquired conscience, while making him a full- fledged part of the Angel Investigations team. He'd known Spike would need to have a reason to keep going. Something to take his mind off the thoughts he knew were always plaguing him. The one stipulation Spike had was that Buffy would not find out that he was there. Sunnydale was his past and the past was something he hoped to be able to forget in time.
TBC
Spoilers: Everything up to season 6 and a touch of season 7.
My first fic! Feedback needed please! I'll take the good with the bad. Ideas accepted too!
Disclaimers: Joss owns them all. I am just borrowing for now!
His New Life
Spike looked up from a book he'd been intently studying with a raised eyebrow. Upon hearing his name, he turned a curious eye toward the sofa sitting in the middle of the Hyperion lobby. Cordelia and Kitara were sitting together giggling like teenagers at a joke obviously made at his expense. Catching Kit's eye, he wiggled his brows flirtatiously.
"I can hear you. Vampire, remember? 's not polite to talk about a bloke when he's sitting in the same room you know."
Kit rolled her eyes and smiled widely. "We weren't talking about you, Spike. We were talking about someone else. I'm sure you wouldn't know him."
"Uh huh. Spike is such a common name of course," he answered in a low tease.
"Anyway, this guy is totally hot! Not like you at all," she added, teasing back.
He stood up, laying his book on the table beside the chair he'd been sitting in. He dropped his hidden smile and turned around to face them. "Well ladies, sun's up. I'm gonna crash."
As he turned and began walking up the stairs, Kitara called up to him. "Night, Spike!"
"Night, pet."
A quiet giggle emerged from the girls downstairs. With a shake of his head, he entered his room. Quickly undressing, he climbed in underneath the sheet. Lying on his back, hands tucked behind his head he contemplated how his life had changed after receiving his soul almost a year ago.
Lying battered and bruised after receiving his 'reward', Spike cried a bucket of tears for the victims and their families who were unfortunate enough to have crossed his path. In an instant the guilt and remorse of a century of pain and death struck him. It remained a mystery how long he had been in that cave, or how he'd finally managed to crawl out of it. Thinking he would be able to handle it when he'd asked for his soul, the realization hit him that nothing could have prepared him for what he was feeling. The emotional pain he was forced to bare was much worse than he had anticipated. He'd remained in Africa for a couple of months feeling sorry for himself, trying to come to terms with the terrible things he had done. Another couple of months on a barge back to the States, mostly left alone with his own thoughts for company, helped to enhance his depression. By the time he reached L.A. his emotional state had turned to anger. Anger at his self and the existence he'd lived for over a century.
The next few months were spent hitting the city's lowest spots where he'd goad demons and humans alike into drunken fights. He was praying someone would get the best of him and finally end his torment. Even carrying a death wish, he was still the Big Bad and refused to go down without a fight. His skills were better than any opponent he'd faced and he hadn't even come close to the end he was seeking. The one revelation he received happened the first night he picked a brawl with a human. Spike had managed two good punches before realizing his brain wasn't frying him alive. Obviously, the African demon had had a sense of humor and removed the chip in Spike's head while restoring his soul. He'd gotten the one thing he had wanted for three years but now had a conscience to negate the prize. 'Irony at it's bloody best' he'd thought at the time.
Night after night he'd wake up in a dark alley or an abandoned building hung over and bruised. Finally bored with that, he made what he thought would be his final decision. He'd go to the one person he knew could and would end his miserable existence.
As he stood at the door of the Hyperion hotel he let his mind wander to Sunnydale. It wasn't often he'd let himself think of 'her'. The pain and guilt of the last time he'd seen Buffy was too much to bare. He'd felt disgusted with himself at the time and now with his brand new soul it felt a hundred times worse. He really felt for the first time that he was the monster she always accused him of being. But he missed her. And he dreamt about her. The dreams would always start the way he envisioned things could have been between them, but then always ended with Buffy having the same disgusted look on her face. He always woke with the feeling that he would never be deserving enough to face her again. His intention from the beginning was to return and beg for her forgiveness, and to let her know what he had done for her. Once he came to the conclusion that he could never be good enough for her, he knew he would never go back.
He was still thinking of her when the door opened to reveal Angel standing stunned in the lobby. Expecting to be staked on the spot, Spike gave his usual cocky attitude and swagger until the other vampire stepped aside to let him enter. The last time they'd met, Spike had paid to have Angel tortured. Figuring payback would definitely be in order, he was surprised when Angel had not only let him in, but also offered him blood and a bed to sleep in.
With little argument Spike accepted his offer. He was confused and more than a little curious as to why he was not dust. This reason alone was enough to stick around. The next morning, after his first somewhat relaxing night's sleep in ages, he found his way to Angel waiting patiently downstairs. After coming to a truce of sorts, Angel revealed that Buffy had made him aware of Spikes chipped status. She had also explained how he'd stood beside her and the scoobies, fighting the good fight against Glory. Knowing Buffy would never have told him about their 'relationship' he figured Angel had assumed he was helping out of nothing short of boredom. Once Spike was aware that his life still wasn't going to end, he began to accept the fact that he would have to learn to deal with his past. Here in the company of a familiar face, even if it was Angel's, he would have to find his place again.
So that's how he came to be in L.A., living in the hotel owned by his former rival turned almost constant companion. Angel worked with Spike continuously, helping him deal with his newly acquired conscience, while making him a full- fledged part of the Angel Investigations team. He'd known Spike would need to have a reason to keep going. Something to take his mind off the thoughts he knew were always plaguing him. The one stipulation Spike had was that Buffy would not find out that he was there. Sunnydale was his past and the past was something he hoped to be able to forget in time.
TBC