30minutefics, September 1, 2003

The Challenge: One of the professors unwittingly has to be a Muggle for a day. You can put them anywhere on Earth you want, including Iowa or Fiji. A character that is either Muggle-born or raised by a Muggle family has to rescue them from Muggledom. How the characters get into their predicament, and how they get out, is up to you.


Title: Minerva Does Dallas
Rating: G
Pairings (if any):
Author's Notes:


"What in the bloody hell..." First order of business. Remove the hat, my girl, she thought. A few less Muggles stared at her - but only a few. She looked down at her robes, then back at the odd assortment of garments worn in this place.

Rubbing her temples, she tried to remember how she got here. She had been in the process of Apparating from Hogsmeade to her sister's in Yorkshire when she found herself seated on this bench, clutching a program that explained that she was at the Mesquite Rodeo, whatever that was. The place smelled of dung, unwashed male, and some kind of ale that seemed to be consumed in prodigious quantities. Looking around, she saw men in utterly ridiculous hats riding horses, chasing small young cattle around a ring. People were clapping and cheering for the spectacle. It was utterly appalling.

"You lost, Sister?" a young man said. "Don't normally see no nuns around this joint. Maybe you can bless my hat fer me, before I go on."

It took a moment to register that the brash boy was insinuating that she was a member of some kind of Muggle religious order. "Off with you," she said irritably. The man shrugged, smiling a lopsided grin and spitting a large wad of something disgusting at her feet. "You take care, y'hear?"

Minerva sighed, standing to look around for a loo so that she could Apparate back to somewhere more...familiar...in private. She had heard of Apparition accidents, of course, but she was completely in a foreign land. Walking past a small band, she found the loo - with a line outside. Sighing in frustrated resignation, she joined the queue, foot tapping of its own accord to the band. The song seemed to be about a Yellow Rose in that place in America called Texas.

In sudden shock, she noticed that the beer sign proclaimed it was the "Best Beer in Texas"...and the food queue contained a handwritten treatise, "Best Bar-B-Que in Texas Seven Years Runnin'!" Wearily, she rubbed her eyes, waiting for her chance to enter the loo.

Finally, she was in a stall. She pulled out her wand, murmuring the Apparation spell and thinking of the gates of Hogwarts. When she opened her eyes, she was still in the stall - "The Yellow Rose of Texas" winding down in the background. She tried again, and blinked. Still in this Muggle nightmare.

She looked down at her robes. Waving her wand, she Transfigured them into the type of clothing she had seen a lot of outside, so as not to draw attention while she pondered her situation. Blue jeans, of course, and a t-shirt and boots. She drew a line at wearing one of those idiotic hats. She decided it was probably best to wait until the festivities were over, then slip out with the crowd, hail a cab, and get to the American version of the Ministry's Texas headquarters or at least the most convenient Floo portal. There was a rising nervousness within her, since she didn't know where any of these things were, but at least she had her wand and was now suitably camoflaged. She transfigured some papers in her pocket into a passable American money, and set out to try the Best Beer in Texas and some of that Bar-B-Que, whatever that was.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Professor?" An amused Colin Creevey stood there, taking a quick photo. "I should be able to sell this to the Prophet!" he said without a trace of malice. Colin had graduated several years before, and had drifted away. No one was quite sure what had happened to him after his departure from Hogwarts

"Mister Creevey!" she barked, "What is the meaning of this?"

"I often enjoy the rodeo," Colin said, "but I never figured you for a cowgirl."

Minerva rolled her eyes. "I seem to have Apparated into this nightmare, but cannot get out. If you have any hints, I would certainly appreciate them."

Colin smiled. "There are many anti-Apparation wards on this place, Professor. The American Magical Congress' southwestern headquarters are located directly below your feet. This is where I work, actually. You can walk outside, about twenty feet in any direction, and be able to Apparate out."

"How did I get in?"

"I suspect you must have been caught in my magical wake - I just left from Hogsmeade an hour ago." She nodded, and he continued, "You blend in quite nicely, if I do say so, Professor. If you wish to stay, I could give you a tour?"

She considered his offer, then placed a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't I buy you a beer?" she said, laughing. "I might as well see this place since fate chose to bring me here. Just don't expect me to put on a bloody hat."