Chapter 7
Truth
Spike made it halfway down Revello Drive. "Bugger it!" He stopped and stood in the middle of the street. Taking his cigarette pack out of his pocket, he slid one between his lips and put the rest back into his duster. He turned around, contemplating the house he'd just left. Maybe he should go back and talk to her. He lit up and smoked, still standing in the same spot. After rolling it over in his head, he began to walk back. He casually made his way around to the front porch. He was just about to grab the knob when he caught a glimpse through the front window. His eyes flashed yellow and a growl emerged from deep in his throat. There she was. Locked in a deep kiss with Angel. He felt sick to his stomach. It took every ounce of control not to let the demon surface. He wanted to barge in and rip Angel's head from his shoulders. Instead, he turned and ran. He continued to run until he reached the nearest graveyard. He felt an overwhelming need to kill something. He vamped and grabbed the first headstone he saw. It went crashing to the ground with a thud.
"That bitch!" he screamed looking around for more things to damage. "Always Angel! Well she can have that bloody poof!" He kicked another stone over and turned when he heard a rustling behind him.
A newly born vampire picked that precise moment to rise from his safe resting place. He never saw what hit him as Spike yanked him out by his head and twisted. "Sorry, mate. I'm the only Big Bad out here tonight," he said to the pile of dust before him. Brushing off his duster, he grabbed another cigarette and decided to see what his good friend Willy was up to. He planned on being mind-numbing drunk by the time he had to return to his designated place in the basement.
Buffy walked through several graveyards not seeing any sign of Spike. She was a little unnerved about being out alone. She'd never minded patrolling by herself before, at least not until the 'Super Vamps' started showing up. They had hoped there was only one, but soon realized after she'd killed him, that there were more. Cautiously, she moved through another empty graveyard and finally gave up. Two hours and still no luck. She tried to decide where the most likely place would be and settled on Willy's. She made her way through town to the bar at the end of the familiar dark alley. She pushed herself through the door and stomped up toward the owner.
"Slayer!" Willey called loudly, looking around at the patrons in his bar. "What brings you here?" His voice was nervous and shaky. He really hated her visits and it was really, really bad for business.
"Not a social visit. Just looking for...." she stopped when she saw Spike in a corner booth, bottle in hand. "Never mind."
She headed toward the back of the bar but not before Willey caught her arm. "Watch it, Slayer. He's in a really bad mood." She nodded. She approached Spike and sat down across from him.
"What do you want?" he grunted, taking another swig from the bottle.
"I was looking for you," she answered counting the several empty bottles sitting in front of him.
"Well, good for you, slayer. Now sod off."
The sound of his voice was threatening and she found herself tensing up. "Spike... what's wrong with you?"
"I said leave!" he stated with a growl, his face shifting to his vampiric features.
It caught her off guard and she flinched back in he seat. "Stop it, Spike! Talk to me!"
"Buffy..... I'm warning you. Go!"
She didn't budge. She crossed her arms stubbornly in front of her. He shook off his demon, realizing she wasn't being affected by it. "Fine then. I'll go!" He stood, grabbing his smokes and his half finished bottle. He stormed out, duster flapping behind him.
She shook her head. "Pain in the ass vampire," she mumbled to herself before getting up to follow him. She caught up before he reached the end of the alley. Grabbing his shoulder, she roughly pulled him around to face her. On instinct, he let go of his bottle of jack and swung his arm, connecting with her jaw. She reeled back and punched him in the nose. He wiped the blood with his fingers and smirked.
"Is that what you want, slayer? A fight?" he asked backing her up against the wall. She threw another punch only to have him grab her arm in mid air. Reaching for the other one, he had both arms held over her head and pushed his whole body against hers. His head dipped and his lips found the side of her neck causing a slight moan to escape her.
Working his way up to her ear with soft kisses, he whispered seductively. "Or maybe you had something else in mind."
His hands slid down her arms and around the back of her neck as his lips grabbed onto hers. He held her in an angry embrace matched only by the force of her arms trying to pull him closer. The smell of her arousal was intoxicating and he knew he was loosing control. Feeling a sense of loss when her hands dropped from his back, he regained it when he felt her working the buckle on his jeans. Seconds passed, and with the pull of a zipper, she was inside. Her hands felt like heaven as she fondled and caressed him.
"Oh God, Buffy," he moaned, pushing his hands underneath her blouse to find her breasts. It had been so long, he felt like he was gonna explode just from her touch.
"I want you, Spike," she whispered, her voice dripping with need.
Hearing her voice was enough to shake him. With a suddenness that startled her, he pulled away as if he'd been burned. He reached to his pants refastening and buckling, then ran his hands nervously through his hair. Pulling out a cigarette, he glanced at her confused state.
"We're not doing this," he said as calmly as he could muster.
"Spike..... I...."
He cut her off. "No! Now go home."
"But we need to...."
Again, he interrupted. "'We' don't need to do anything, slayer. Go home! ..... to him," he mumbled under his breath.
"What was that?" she asked, catching what he'd said. "What are you talking about?"
He grit his teeth and shook his head in anger. "Bollocks!" he screamed. "I won't be your bloody consolation prize, slayer. Not anymore."
"Spike.... I don't understand. I thought you wanted...."
" To shag you up against the wall of this hellhole, slayer? Did enough of that last go around, don't you think? Or maybe that's the way you like it. Fitting place for a demon, right? Can pretend it doesn't mean anything if it's just a good screw in a dark alley."
"That's not fair, Spike."
"Fair? What would you know about fair? All those times you let me touch you, hold you, and make love to you.... pouring everything I had into you until there was nothing left of me... And regardless of what you say, I 'was' making love to you. Every time. No matter how hard or rough you wanted it. Each time hoping that maybe, just maybe you'd feel it too."
"I couldn't...."
"I know. And I won't go back to that. And I won't play second fiddle just because your precious Angel can't finish the job."
"That's what this is about! Angel?"
"Just icing on top of the cake, luv. Just one more reason you could never really love me," he answered. "Got your motor revving and came looking for me, huh pet? Not this time. I'm done being your lapdog."
"You have no idea what you're talking about, Spike. There's nothing between Angel and me. Not anymore."
"Yeah. Right. Would sound convincing if your lips hadn't been glued to his not more than a couple of hours ago!"
Her eyes widened and she finally understood what this entire scene had been about. "Spike, it was just a kiss and it was a mistake."
"No. The only mistake was my coming to this godforsaken town thinking things could be different for us. I tried to convince myself I was over you. I could lie to myself when you weren't around, but god help me as soon as I saw you, Buffy..." He felt the tears but managed to hold them back. "But I can't handle it. Not this time. I'm dealing with too much to have to take what you dish out."
"Spike, it doesn't have to be that way...things 'can' be different," she pleaded, fighting back her own tears.
"It's too late, slayer." He turned and walked away before she could say another word. Once he was out of view, she let go and let the tears flow free.
Truth
Spike made it halfway down Revello Drive. "Bugger it!" He stopped and stood in the middle of the street. Taking his cigarette pack out of his pocket, he slid one between his lips and put the rest back into his duster. He turned around, contemplating the house he'd just left. Maybe he should go back and talk to her. He lit up and smoked, still standing in the same spot. After rolling it over in his head, he began to walk back. He casually made his way around to the front porch. He was just about to grab the knob when he caught a glimpse through the front window. His eyes flashed yellow and a growl emerged from deep in his throat. There she was. Locked in a deep kiss with Angel. He felt sick to his stomach. It took every ounce of control not to let the demon surface. He wanted to barge in and rip Angel's head from his shoulders. Instead, he turned and ran. He continued to run until he reached the nearest graveyard. He felt an overwhelming need to kill something. He vamped and grabbed the first headstone he saw. It went crashing to the ground with a thud.
"That bitch!" he screamed looking around for more things to damage. "Always Angel! Well she can have that bloody poof!" He kicked another stone over and turned when he heard a rustling behind him.
A newly born vampire picked that precise moment to rise from his safe resting place. He never saw what hit him as Spike yanked him out by his head and twisted. "Sorry, mate. I'm the only Big Bad out here tonight," he said to the pile of dust before him. Brushing off his duster, he grabbed another cigarette and decided to see what his good friend Willy was up to. He planned on being mind-numbing drunk by the time he had to return to his designated place in the basement.
Buffy walked through several graveyards not seeing any sign of Spike. She was a little unnerved about being out alone. She'd never minded patrolling by herself before, at least not until the 'Super Vamps' started showing up. They had hoped there was only one, but soon realized after she'd killed him, that there were more. Cautiously, she moved through another empty graveyard and finally gave up. Two hours and still no luck. She tried to decide where the most likely place would be and settled on Willy's. She made her way through town to the bar at the end of the familiar dark alley. She pushed herself through the door and stomped up toward the owner.
"Slayer!" Willey called loudly, looking around at the patrons in his bar. "What brings you here?" His voice was nervous and shaky. He really hated her visits and it was really, really bad for business.
"Not a social visit. Just looking for...." she stopped when she saw Spike in a corner booth, bottle in hand. "Never mind."
She headed toward the back of the bar but not before Willey caught her arm. "Watch it, Slayer. He's in a really bad mood." She nodded. She approached Spike and sat down across from him.
"What do you want?" he grunted, taking another swig from the bottle.
"I was looking for you," she answered counting the several empty bottles sitting in front of him.
"Well, good for you, slayer. Now sod off."
The sound of his voice was threatening and she found herself tensing up. "Spike... what's wrong with you?"
"I said leave!" he stated with a growl, his face shifting to his vampiric features.
It caught her off guard and she flinched back in he seat. "Stop it, Spike! Talk to me!"
"Buffy..... I'm warning you. Go!"
She didn't budge. She crossed her arms stubbornly in front of her. He shook off his demon, realizing she wasn't being affected by it. "Fine then. I'll go!" He stood, grabbing his smokes and his half finished bottle. He stormed out, duster flapping behind him.
She shook her head. "Pain in the ass vampire," she mumbled to herself before getting up to follow him. She caught up before he reached the end of the alley. Grabbing his shoulder, she roughly pulled him around to face her. On instinct, he let go of his bottle of jack and swung his arm, connecting with her jaw. She reeled back and punched him in the nose. He wiped the blood with his fingers and smirked.
"Is that what you want, slayer? A fight?" he asked backing her up against the wall. She threw another punch only to have him grab her arm in mid air. Reaching for the other one, he had both arms held over her head and pushed his whole body against hers. His head dipped and his lips found the side of her neck causing a slight moan to escape her.
Working his way up to her ear with soft kisses, he whispered seductively. "Or maybe you had something else in mind."
His hands slid down her arms and around the back of her neck as his lips grabbed onto hers. He held her in an angry embrace matched only by the force of her arms trying to pull him closer. The smell of her arousal was intoxicating and he knew he was loosing control. Feeling a sense of loss when her hands dropped from his back, he regained it when he felt her working the buckle on his jeans. Seconds passed, and with the pull of a zipper, she was inside. Her hands felt like heaven as she fondled and caressed him.
"Oh God, Buffy," he moaned, pushing his hands underneath her blouse to find her breasts. It had been so long, he felt like he was gonna explode just from her touch.
"I want you, Spike," she whispered, her voice dripping with need.
Hearing her voice was enough to shake him. With a suddenness that startled her, he pulled away as if he'd been burned. He reached to his pants refastening and buckling, then ran his hands nervously through his hair. Pulling out a cigarette, he glanced at her confused state.
"We're not doing this," he said as calmly as he could muster.
"Spike..... I...."
He cut her off. "No! Now go home."
"But we need to...."
Again, he interrupted. "'We' don't need to do anything, slayer. Go home! ..... to him," he mumbled under his breath.
"What was that?" she asked, catching what he'd said. "What are you talking about?"
He grit his teeth and shook his head in anger. "Bollocks!" he screamed. "I won't be your bloody consolation prize, slayer. Not anymore."
"Spike.... I don't understand. I thought you wanted...."
" To shag you up against the wall of this hellhole, slayer? Did enough of that last go around, don't you think? Or maybe that's the way you like it. Fitting place for a demon, right? Can pretend it doesn't mean anything if it's just a good screw in a dark alley."
"That's not fair, Spike."
"Fair? What would you know about fair? All those times you let me touch you, hold you, and make love to you.... pouring everything I had into you until there was nothing left of me... And regardless of what you say, I 'was' making love to you. Every time. No matter how hard or rough you wanted it. Each time hoping that maybe, just maybe you'd feel it too."
"I couldn't...."
"I know. And I won't go back to that. And I won't play second fiddle just because your precious Angel can't finish the job."
"That's what this is about! Angel?"
"Just icing on top of the cake, luv. Just one more reason you could never really love me," he answered. "Got your motor revving and came looking for me, huh pet? Not this time. I'm done being your lapdog."
"You have no idea what you're talking about, Spike. There's nothing between Angel and me. Not anymore."
"Yeah. Right. Would sound convincing if your lips hadn't been glued to his not more than a couple of hours ago!"
Her eyes widened and she finally understood what this entire scene had been about. "Spike, it was just a kiss and it was a mistake."
"No. The only mistake was my coming to this godforsaken town thinking things could be different for us. I tried to convince myself I was over you. I could lie to myself when you weren't around, but god help me as soon as I saw you, Buffy..." He felt the tears but managed to hold them back. "But I can't handle it. Not this time. I'm dealing with too much to have to take what you dish out."
"Spike, it doesn't have to be that way...things 'can' be different," she pleaded, fighting back her own tears.
"It's too late, slayer." He turned and walked away before she could say another word. Once he was out of view, she let go and let the tears flow free.