The Locked Door.
Chapter 1
Enter the contestants 1.
It was early one morning when Princess Peach looked out of her castle's door. She thought she had heard the delivery goomba.
"But that's impossible?" Thought peach to herself
"The delivery goomba is always late."
Still on the front porch there was a letter. It was addressed in an elegant hand and had a faint scent of perfume about it. Hmm, mused Peach This was defiantly odd. She decided not to open it.
"After all, It might be another 'joke' from Bowser"
She thought better of it and decided not to open it herself, Why bother risk the threat of a trap when she could get someone not as intelligent as herself to do it for her.
*****
"Mario" said peach seductively "can you open this letter for me I-I'm not strong enough."
Mario did not seem to hear her he was staring at her stupidly. Peach sighed it was bad enough having him around her but when he was madly in love with her the stress was almost too much for her. Little was he to know that she had arranged every kidnapping scheme just to try and get rid of him. She repeated the question. Again the vacant staring occurred. A third time she repeated the question. Mario tore himself away from her face and looked at the letter.
"Of course-a I-a can" said Mario flexing his muscles
"This-a will give-a me-a a chance to impress-a her" he muttered under his breath.
He gave the letter a quick uppercut, Smashed it to the ground Jumped on top of it, Bounced up and down on it, bit it into pieces with his teeth and set it on fire. When Peach had picked up all the smouldering pieces and glued them back together, she glanced over its contents and ran back to her castle before Mario could follow, Placed the twenty eight iron bars over the door to stop him getting in, and reread the letter.
"Hmm." she mused
*****
Mario was surprised by Peach's flight he wondered how ever someone could resist his glittering charm. Maybe he was not hunky enough for her. But he ruled this possibility out. How could anyone be more attractive than him, However it was so long since he had jumped on any goombas. Maybe he could use a little extra training. But what to practice on, At that moment a letter fell through the letterbox.
"Aha" shouted Mario in an inspired fashion.
Two minutes later only a smouldering pile of ashy paper remained. Mario sadly was not as handy with glue as peach and ended up with the ashy pile stuck to his moustache.
*****
A few minutes later Luigi finished his shower and had again put on his overall he Entered the hallway of the Mario Brothers home. His eyes slowly surveyed the scene. Mario was stuck the ground with a burnt envelope attached to his nose.
"Yawn" said Luigi and tottered off for breakfast ignoring his brothers stifled cries.
After breakfast he returned to the hallway. Mario was his brother after all. After removing the glue from the floor he began to ask Mario why he was stuck to the ground in the first place.
"Um." said Mario his memory failing again.
At that moment however a second letter fell through the letterbox.
Luigi stared at the letter addressed to him. Then at the smouldering letter attached to Mario's upper lip. Then at the evil gleam in his brothers eyes. Mario's fists clenched for action. His Muscles tensed as he prepared to spring forwards. Luigi smashed him across the jaw. Mario Fell to the ground, Birds flying around his head as they often do in cartoons.
"Hmm" said Luigi as he scanned the letter.
When he had finished reading it he slapped Mario across the face to wake him up, put him in a headlock and held his arms behind his back. He forced Mario to read the letter, helping him with the difficult longer words. Mario's jaw slowly dropped as he read the letter.
"Hmm?" he said as Luigi slowly strangled him.
*****
Zelda Stood at the window of her castle painting her nails. A task which she did not often do. Still today was one of her only make up days after all and she wanted to try out some of her new products she had bought at the market. Downstairs there was a crash.
"It must be the boys fighting again" she observed
She did not really like these frequent fights between Link and Ganondorf and on some occasions Young Link. A boomerang whipped through the door smashing a lip gloss bottle. She sighed and bent down to pick up the shards. A bolt of dark magic flew over her head and flew out the window. Again.
"Sigh"
*****
Later when she was applying her eye shadow Link burst through the door and grabbed her round the waist making her spill the bottle of shadow down her dress. She screamed and slapped him. This did not seem to have much effect as he clung on harder than ever. They reached the bottom of the staircase,
"I won" Shouted Link to Ganondorf " See I saved her"
She was now angry she through a bolt of Din's fire at Link. There was no difficulty in seeing that he was hurt this time. He screamed and beat his clothes wildly to little effect. Eventually when he had soaked his clothes in water he managed to gasp:
"What d'ya do that for !?"
"Obvious." Smirked Ganondorf, "She hates you"
"Actually" Shouted Zelda over Link's shrieks of protest "You made me spill my make up over all my clothes."
"So?" Asked Link and young link at the same time, as they failed to understand the feminine temperament.
"Well my dress and my make up is ruined" Shrieked Zelda
"Fascinating" yawned Ganondorf summoning up a chair for himself.
"Just cos you're not female" blazed Zelda "Why I bet I could take you ALL on"
Link shrugged, Ganondorf smirked, Young Link sniggered,
Zelda looked stern.
"O.k." said Link, "Bring it on" Said Ganondorf, "Hahaha" Laughed young Link and collapsed into hysterics,
"Prepare to be emulsified" said Zelda.
Two minutes later Zelda/Sheik was standing on top of the three knocked out bodies of Link, Ganondorf, and Young Link. She pressed her face against Young Link's
"Now Who's Laughing" she said.
Suddenly a letter dropped through the door. She left the heaving bundle.
"Hmm" She said as she went to pick it up.
She scampered off too her room to read it.
*****
"Ugh" groaned link as he untangled himself from Ganondorf's boot this was far from what he had expected. After all he loved Zelda and she loved him it was a long way from what he had expected of her, still it could have advantages thought Link, She could use those mighty muscles to cut wood for him, after all that was what women were for. The door rattled. Link stared at it.
There was evil on the other side of it, He could sense it, evil, link did not like evil, Evil, Link wished to slay the evil, EVil, Link prepared to destroy the evil, EVIl, Link drew his evil killing master sword, EVIL!!!
He slashed the door in half.
"Oh it's just a letter," said link slow wittedly.
Link picked up the letter, It was addressed to him,
"Funny? He thought who sends me letters? I never write anything"
Link opened the letter and read through it.
"Hmm" he said.
*****
Link Junior was the next to awaken from his stupor. He had preferred Zelda when she was young and about his size. He chuckled, then stopped himself, He remembered what super woman Zelda had said about that and he did not want to be knocked out again. He got out his ocarina. He was just about to zoom off with it to the lost woods and see if Saria was up for a game of tennis.
"Let me see," he said "How did the song go? Dum Dee Dum Doodeloo? No."
He was interrupted from further strenuous thinking by noticing that the door had been hacked into small pieces.
"Strange?" he thought.
Link Jn. Went over to the door to have a look at it. There. on the hacked wreckage was a small scented letter.
"Odd?" thought Link petite as he picked it up.
"A letter?"
Mini link looked at the neat writing.
"M-A-S-T-E-R- -L-I-N-K- -J-N."
He opened the letter and red it at an extremely slow pace. He was only first level reading and some of the words were very long and he could not quite understand them.
Eventually when he had finished, he paused and looked up at the ceiling for inspiration.
"Hmm." Came the final decision.
*****
The last to arise was Ganondorf. He had received the worst of Sheik's blows and had not fully recovered. He conjured up some bandages for himself and sat on a chair contemplating why women were so unpredictable. Secretly he was in love with Zelda and had only abducted her to try and get Link off the scene. He failed to understand how Zelda did not find him attractive. Green was the colour of all time according to him and he could not see why she could not find his fiery hair attractive. If only he could get rid of Link, if only. Suddenly he was struck by an idea, He pulled a memo reminder out of the air and said into it:
"Plan 1: Get rid of link: Operation get rid of Link:" This went on for some time until Ganondorf was sure that the machine had got the idea that he wanted to destroy link.
"I will use ants.lots of ants, No not the large type but this may be a later plan, I will cover him with ants. He will be bitten and will hopefully defeated"
Another thought struck him
"What if he burns the ants off?"
Consider.
Then came the amazingly well thought out reply:
"I will make them.Fire Proof Ants!!! Muhahahahhahhahhahahah etc."
(the memo ran out of space because of his mad laughing)
Yet another thought descended from the sky and hit him
"What if he washes them off.?"
He was interrupted from further thrilling thoughts by a letter dropping through the former doorway. He pulled the letter towards him in a swirl of dark mist.
He ordered it to sing out it's message to him. After the hideous shrieking was over he crossed his arms and looked thoughtful.
"Hmm."He said
*****
Bowser stared out of his castle's window, His castle was not that much different from Peach's he thought except hers was made out of stone and his was made out of dried lava. Hers Had water fountains and his had lava, Hers had a vague scent of perfume and his brimstone.
"Growlngsa" He said and his goomba servants came running.
He indicated the empty cup at his side and the goombas ran off with it to the kitchen.
Bowser now settled down for a sleep. He was tired and The sound of the lave dripping down the walls was very soothing. He closed his eyes, uttered some roars of contentment and rested his head on the back of his throne.
*****
Soon he was snoozing comfortably, Then the goombas re-entered. A loud crash made Bowser awaken The goombas were attempting to balance the goblet on their heads The one who was carrying it at current was having great difficulty moving as the others were bustling around it in case the cup fell. As a result the cup was dropped yet more than it would have if only on were carrying it. By the time it reached Bowser it was empty. Bowser roared at his minions a while then attempted to go to sleep. He was just dropping off again when a letter flew through the window and landed on his stomach.
"Grmnugufr???" He asked
Bowser viewed the contents of the letter then ate it.
"Grhmmm." He said.
End of Part 1
Chapter 1
Enter the contestants 1.
It was early one morning when Princess Peach looked out of her castle's door. She thought she had heard the delivery goomba.
"But that's impossible?" Thought peach to herself
"The delivery goomba is always late."
Still on the front porch there was a letter. It was addressed in an elegant hand and had a faint scent of perfume about it. Hmm, mused Peach This was defiantly odd. She decided not to open it.
"After all, It might be another 'joke' from Bowser"
She thought better of it and decided not to open it herself, Why bother risk the threat of a trap when she could get someone not as intelligent as herself to do it for her.
*****
"Mario" said peach seductively "can you open this letter for me I-I'm not strong enough."
Mario did not seem to hear her he was staring at her stupidly. Peach sighed it was bad enough having him around her but when he was madly in love with her the stress was almost too much for her. Little was he to know that she had arranged every kidnapping scheme just to try and get rid of him. She repeated the question. Again the vacant staring occurred. A third time she repeated the question. Mario tore himself away from her face and looked at the letter.
"Of course-a I-a can" said Mario flexing his muscles
"This-a will give-a me-a a chance to impress-a her" he muttered under his breath.
He gave the letter a quick uppercut, Smashed it to the ground Jumped on top of it, Bounced up and down on it, bit it into pieces with his teeth and set it on fire. When Peach had picked up all the smouldering pieces and glued them back together, she glanced over its contents and ran back to her castle before Mario could follow, Placed the twenty eight iron bars over the door to stop him getting in, and reread the letter.
"Hmm." she mused
*****
Mario was surprised by Peach's flight he wondered how ever someone could resist his glittering charm. Maybe he was not hunky enough for her. But he ruled this possibility out. How could anyone be more attractive than him, However it was so long since he had jumped on any goombas. Maybe he could use a little extra training. But what to practice on, At that moment a letter fell through the letterbox.
"Aha" shouted Mario in an inspired fashion.
Two minutes later only a smouldering pile of ashy paper remained. Mario sadly was not as handy with glue as peach and ended up with the ashy pile stuck to his moustache.
*****
A few minutes later Luigi finished his shower and had again put on his overall he Entered the hallway of the Mario Brothers home. His eyes slowly surveyed the scene. Mario was stuck the ground with a burnt envelope attached to his nose.
"Yawn" said Luigi and tottered off for breakfast ignoring his brothers stifled cries.
After breakfast he returned to the hallway. Mario was his brother after all. After removing the glue from the floor he began to ask Mario why he was stuck to the ground in the first place.
"Um." said Mario his memory failing again.
At that moment however a second letter fell through the letterbox.
Luigi stared at the letter addressed to him. Then at the smouldering letter attached to Mario's upper lip. Then at the evil gleam in his brothers eyes. Mario's fists clenched for action. His Muscles tensed as he prepared to spring forwards. Luigi smashed him across the jaw. Mario Fell to the ground, Birds flying around his head as they often do in cartoons.
"Hmm" said Luigi as he scanned the letter.
When he had finished reading it he slapped Mario across the face to wake him up, put him in a headlock and held his arms behind his back. He forced Mario to read the letter, helping him with the difficult longer words. Mario's jaw slowly dropped as he read the letter.
"Hmm?" he said as Luigi slowly strangled him.
*****
Zelda Stood at the window of her castle painting her nails. A task which she did not often do. Still today was one of her only make up days after all and she wanted to try out some of her new products she had bought at the market. Downstairs there was a crash.
"It must be the boys fighting again" she observed
She did not really like these frequent fights between Link and Ganondorf and on some occasions Young Link. A boomerang whipped through the door smashing a lip gloss bottle. She sighed and bent down to pick up the shards. A bolt of dark magic flew over her head and flew out the window. Again.
"Sigh"
*****
Later when she was applying her eye shadow Link burst through the door and grabbed her round the waist making her spill the bottle of shadow down her dress. She screamed and slapped him. This did not seem to have much effect as he clung on harder than ever. They reached the bottom of the staircase,
"I won" Shouted Link to Ganondorf " See I saved her"
She was now angry she through a bolt of Din's fire at Link. There was no difficulty in seeing that he was hurt this time. He screamed and beat his clothes wildly to little effect. Eventually when he had soaked his clothes in water he managed to gasp:
"What d'ya do that for !?"
"Obvious." Smirked Ganondorf, "She hates you"
"Actually" Shouted Zelda over Link's shrieks of protest "You made me spill my make up over all my clothes."
"So?" Asked Link and young link at the same time, as they failed to understand the feminine temperament.
"Well my dress and my make up is ruined" Shrieked Zelda
"Fascinating" yawned Ganondorf summoning up a chair for himself.
"Just cos you're not female" blazed Zelda "Why I bet I could take you ALL on"
Link shrugged, Ganondorf smirked, Young Link sniggered,
Zelda looked stern.
"O.k." said Link, "Bring it on" Said Ganondorf, "Hahaha" Laughed young Link and collapsed into hysterics,
"Prepare to be emulsified" said Zelda.
Two minutes later Zelda/Sheik was standing on top of the three knocked out bodies of Link, Ganondorf, and Young Link. She pressed her face against Young Link's
"Now Who's Laughing" she said.
Suddenly a letter dropped through the door. She left the heaving bundle.
"Hmm" She said as she went to pick it up.
She scampered off too her room to read it.
*****
"Ugh" groaned link as he untangled himself from Ganondorf's boot this was far from what he had expected. After all he loved Zelda and she loved him it was a long way from what he had expected of her, still it could have advantages thought Link, She could use those mighty muscles to cut wood for him, after all that was what women were for. The door rattled. Link stared at it.
There was evil on the other side of it, He could sense it, evil, link did not like evil, Evil, Link wished to slay the evil, EVil, Link prepared to destroy the evil, EVIl, Link drew his evil killing master sword, EVIL!!!
He slashed the door in half.
"Oh it's just a letter," said link slow wittedly.
Link picked up the letter, It was addressed to him,
"Funny? He thought who sends me letters? I never write anything"
Link opened the letter and read through it.
"Hmm" he said.
*****
Link Junior was the next to awaken from his stupor. He had preferred Zelda when she was young and about his size. He chuckled, then stopped himself, He remembered what super woman Zelda had said about that and he did not want to be knocked out again. He got out his ocarina. He was just about to zoom off with it to the lost woods and see if Saria was up for a game of tennis.
"Let me see," he said "How did the song go? Dum Dee Dum Doodeloo? No."
He was interrupted from further strenuous thinking by noticing that the door had been hacked into small pieces.
"Strange?" he thought.
Link Jn. Went over to the door to have a look at it. There. on the hacked wreckage was a small scented letter.
"Odd?" thought Link petite as he picked it up.
"A letter?"
Mini link looked at the neat writing.
"M-A-S-T-E-R- -L-I-N-K- -J-N."
He opened the letter and red it at an extremely slow pace. He was only first level reading and some of the words were very long and he could not quite understand them.
Eventually when he had finished, he paused and looked up at the ceiling for inspiration.
"Hmm." Came the final decision.
*****
The last to arise was Ganondorf. He had received the worst of Sheik's blows and had not fully recovered. He conjured up some bandages for himself and sat on a chair contemplating why women were so unpredictable. Secretly he was in love with Zelda and had only abducted her to try and get Link off the scene. He failed to understand how Zelda did not find him attractive. Green was the colour of all time according to him and he could not see why she could not find his fiery hair attractive. If only he could get rid of Link, if only. Suddenly he was struck by an idea, He pulled a memo reminder out of the air and said into it:
"Plan 1: Get rid of link: Operation get rid of Link:" This went on for some time until Ganondorf was sure that the machine had got the idea that he wanted to destroy link.
"I will use ants.lots of ants, No not the large type but this may be a later plan, I will cover him with ants. He will be bitten and will hopefully defeated"
Another thought struck him
"What if he burns the ants off?"
Consider.
Then came the amazingly well thought out reply:
"I will make them.Fire Proof Ants!!! Muhahahahhahhahhahahah etc."
(the memo ran out of space because of his mad laughing)
Yet another thought descended from the sky and hit him
"What if he washes them off.?"
He was interrupted from further thrilling thoughts by a letter dropping through the former doorway. He pulled the letter towards him in a swirl of dark mist.
He ordered it to sing out it's message to him. After the hideous shrieking was over he crossed his arms and looked thoughtful.
"Hmm."He said
*****
Bowser stared out of his castle's window, His castle was not that much different from Peach's he thought except hers was made out of stone and his was made out of dried lava. Hers Had water fountains and his had lava, Hers had a vague scent of perfume and his brimstone.
"Growlngsa" He said and his goomba servants came running.
He indicated the empty cup at his side and the goombas ran off with it to the kitchen.
Bowser now settled down for a sleep. He was tired and The sound of the lave dripping down the walls was very soothing. He closed his eyes, uttered some roars of contentment and rested his head on the back of his throne.
*****
Soon he was snoozing comfortably, Then the goombas re-entered. A loud crash made Bowser awaken The goombas were attempting to balance the goblet on their heads The one who was carrying it at current was having great difficulty moving as the others were bustling around it in case the cup fell. As a result the cup was dropped yet more than it would have if only on were carrying it. By the time it reached Bowser it was empty. Bowser roared at his minions a while then attempted to go to sleep. He was just dropping off again when a letter flew through the window and landed on his stomach.
"Grmnugufr???" He asked
Bowser viewed the contents of the letter then ate it.
"Grhmmm." He said.
End of Part 1