Yet again I must be awakened from my long slumber to write yet another
chapter in this hopefully thrilling story. Anyhoo if you are an even
stranger person who reads the third chapter in the book before any others
then there will be a quick recap of chapter 2 but not 1 because I cannot be
bothered to type it. Read chapter 2 if you wish to find out about chapter 1
but of course it would be more sensible to read the ACTUAL chapter first
fools. Anyway now I must move on to a yet more boring subject if this is
possible. The fantastic story of copyrights, yay: I do not own super smash
brothers or any other Nintendo thing if I did I would most likely be a
Japanese or American millionaire. However I do own certain other things
such as my clothes and other objects. Anyway away with such boring drivel
and on with the fantastical story of the locked door not .
First a brief analysis of last week's story:
Ice climbers: After failing to climb a mountain due to Poco's annoying comments they discuss philosophy and why anyone enjoys playing ice climber yet another . Poco then is hit by a meteor and Nana discovers some letters in a snowdrift.
Picachu: After causing chaos in a town he is chased by the police who chase him into a toy shop and destroy thousands of plush toys before running out of ammo. Picachu then flees from the shop and finds a letter in a bush.
Pichu: After terrifying people in the same town by attempting to be cool he is mistaken for Picachu and arrested by the police (gee, its rather like a Shakespearian play isn't it?) He zaps the and then escapes (unlike a Shakespearian play). He is hit by a falling letter and reads it.
Jigglypuff: Climbs onto a podium and sing the only song it knows. Everyone falls asleep. She sees team rocket (I do NOT watch the show anymore) and blasts them with an assault rifle. Then goes to sleep, wakes up and finds a letter next to her.
Mewtwo: After causing havoc with its psychic powers observes a boy who his powers fail to affect. The boy talks to him and reveals his name is Ness. Mewtwo panics and flees spouting random phrases. He finds a letter and reads it psychically.
Ness: After meeting Mewtwo uses his psychic powers to play tricks on the people who he sees. He transports his maths teacher into another dimension.
Kirby: Lives in this other dimension. He sees the maths teacher and eats him. He then spits him out. He goes off to find better food. After eating all day he returns home and devours his entire house before going away to find more food. He finds a letter and eats it.
So there you have it. The characters and their movements' can you work out who did (heavy French accent) ze murder on ze orient express. What am I going on about? I don't know. Anyway on with the fascinating story. The letter will be revealed at some point. but not yet. Hahahaha.I really am mad am I not.
This time there is much danger, dastardly plans, and daring do. Therefore the thrilling play is entitled:
Chapter 3: Danger, dastardly plans, and daring do.
The story written here is very complicated therefore to confuse you yet more and give you another chance to fail to understand the story we will be starting in the centre of act 4. We hope you will find this most useless.
*****
Fox sighed. The plane was extremely slow and boring. Falco sitting next to him also sighed. The plane WAS extremely slow and boring. He stared out the window. The scene of an aircraft wing did not fascinate him much. It was much more exciting in an R-wing. However he and Fox had been banned from using their ships for a month because they had 'accidentally' shot down Slippy the one of great annoyance. (Those of you who have played starfox will know what I mean, whoops I mean starfox of course). Anyway the actual fact was that they had deliberately shot down the frog of annoying squeaking but everyone else had known how Falco and Fox felt about the stupid frog and they also thought that he ought to be shot, so everyone pretended it was an accident and when they got a quiet moment sniggered about the defeat of the so called 'squeal' frog. Back in the plane Falco was tired of staring at the wing and turned to Fox to make conversation with him. He was a complete failure at making good conversation.
"Fox?" he said.
"Hmm?" said Fox looking up from the map of possible escape routes from the plane.
"What y'a doin'?"
"Hmm." said Fox.
A slight pause ensued during which Falco stared at the sea down below and Fox rule out the possibility of leaping out of the front window.
Then.
"Fox?"
"Hmm?"
"Why did we have to get Virgin airlines tickets?"
"Because they're cheap."
"But the plane is boring"
"Well do something"
Falco stared round to find something to do. He noticed the small games console in front of him. Something to do. Falco picked up the controller.
A few minutes later Fox got bored of trying to flee the plane.
"Falco?"
"Hmm?" said the enthralled birdman.
"What y'a doin'?"
"Playing on this thing"
"Oh." said Fox picking up the controller.
*****
"Ooh yeah" said Fox later "183 points!"
"217" smirked Falco taking his eyes of the screen.
A loud bleep erupted from his speakers
"Noooooooo!" screamed Falco
It was Fox's turn to smirk
"Oh dear Falco, was that your last life, tut, tut," he sniggered.
A stewardess came up next to them with a trolley of food.
"Like anything, sirs" she said hopefully
She was ignored as the two pilots played on the consoles.
She repeated the question again louder; again there was no reply. 10 minutes later she managed to make herself heard to them and some of the other plane travellers were beginning to complain about the noise. Fox looked up.
"Could you please repeat that I didn't quite hear you." he said.
She screamed the message at him.
"Oh," said Fox "No thank you."
The stewardess went on with the trolley muttering about animal customers and paying attention to other people as well as death threats.
"She seemed nice" said Fox to Falco.
"Who?" said Falco his eyes glued to the screen.
*****
Dr. Mario was is his surgery room waiting for a patient to arrive. However only one person had ever been cured by him. This was due to the fact that Dr. Mario unlike any other doctors did not give people pills or medicine but instead attacked viruses himself and usually smashed them to kingdom come. This treatment, however effective had an unusual effect on the patient who usually screamed and clutched at the part of their body where Dr. Mario had hit them.
"I must-a have a patient to-a day" he said to himself
several hours later Dr. Mario was dozing quietly. Someone came through the door making the bell ring.
"Wha-what-a?" said a drowsy Dr. M
The man who entered wore a scarf around his neck and mouth. He had one hand in his pocket clutching a strange object. He also bore a set of dark glasses on his nose.
"Gimme all your money on a check and no one gets hurt. I have a gun I'm not afraid to hurt you."
Doctor Mario was still very sleepy and did not quite hear properly also the man's scarf muffled his voice. What the Doctor seemingly heard was:
"Gimme.check.have.hurt."
"What-a?" said Dr. M "You want-a me to give-a you a check-a up-a because you-a have a hurt-a?"
He did not wait for a reply. Instead flung the unsuspecting man onto the operating table. At the force of impact the gun flew out of the man's pocket and flew across the room.
"So-a what seems-a to be the problem-a?"
The terrified man screamed out "Help meeeeeee!" he screamed in the vague hope that someone would hear and rescue him from this lunatic.
"You-a want-a me to help-a you?" said Dr. Mario
"No! No! pleeease let me go" screeched the man. However his cries were masked by Mario dancing round the room yelling:
"I've-a got-a a patient! I've-a got-a a patient! I've-a got-a a patient!"
he suddenly stopped.
"Now-a let me-a help-a you." he said grinning menacingly, he rolled up his sleeves and balled his fists. Then slowly advanced on the man who was wide eyed with fear.
*****
Back on the jet in the upper class seating area sat Marth and Roy. Well Roy was sitting Marth was cowering under the seat.
"Come out Marth" said Roy
"Never" said Marth
"Please come out and talk with me"
"Oh it's alright for you, You aren't going to die"
"For the final time Marth you are NOT going to die."
"Yes I am" screeched Marth hysterically "My fan girls will kill me because I have a wife and then IF that fails then of course I will be the first or only one to die if this is yet another Big Brother, 10 little Indians type story"
"A what?" said Roy
"10 little Indians" Marth replied "It's a poem about little Indians who die one by one, It was cunningly adapted into a Agatha Christie detective novel in 1923 and was helped into print by."
he tailed off as Roy gave him a hard stare.
"O.k. Marth cut down on the reading" he said
"That's another problem" screamed Marth "Why does everyone call me Marth, (except annoying people who give me nicknames like blue boy or tiara boy) My real name is spelt Marthe, M-a-r-t-h-e. Well either that or the ssbm website is extremely wrong about something"
"O.k. ." said Roy again "Marth or Marthe as you please do you ever say anything under 2 lines in this story.
"Yes I did at the beginning of the section when I was saying I was going to die, really Roy I am indeed surprised that you failed to notice that. I find it highly incomprehensible that this important item could be missed."
"O.k. ." said Roy yet again.
"Quite," came the reply from the blue haired prince" therefore as I have explained to you before not only am I greatly irked by the whole procedure but I am also Dooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooomed!"
"I agree" said Roy calmly
*****
Going back to the other lower class part of the plane Fox and Falco were having an argument about points on the game,
"Oh yeah right" said Fox "I reeeeealy believe you got 10000 points, I bet you couldn't even get 10"
"I did" said Falco shortly
"Well, where's the score?"
"Um.I...I deleted it"
"You lie"
"I do not"
"Yes you do"
"Are you mocking me???"
"Yeah, so?"
"I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson then"
"Come on then bird boy lets see what you've got!"
"come on then"
at this point both Fox McCloud & Falco Lombardi drew their weapons and proceeded to open fire upon each other.
*****
"That's funny" said Roy "I wonder what that sound was"
Marth, or Marthe-
"shut up and get on with the story you can call me Marth because the readers limited intelligence may not be able to cope with this every time my name is mentioned therefore pray continue dwelling upon that point".
fine then,:
Marth(e)-
"Do IT! you foul specimen otherwise I will be forced to mutilate you terribly by removing your extremely large cartilaginous ears from your oversized cranium"
fine, fine, fine,:
Marth gulped
"Maybe my fan girls have boarded the plane, with the swift intent of revenge."
*****
"Ahhhhhhhh" screamed a flight attendant as a laser flew past her ear and buried itself in the wall next to her
"Terrorists!" wailed the waiter
"We're all dooooooomed" said an odd Scotch person who happened to be nearby
"Save us" screamed a woman with a flowery hat"
"Dieeeeee" added Fox
"Wriiiithe" commented Falco
"What's all the fuss down here, wot?" drawled an English gentleman eager to give his view on the situation.
*****
"Don't worry Marth" said Roy again "we will all be o.k., just caaaalm down"
"Yes, yes, I suppose you are quite right my friend I have been behaving rather rashly today I suppose I must account that my nerves have been giving me a lot of trouble recently" said you know who.
"It's perfectly safe here you know there is nothing whatsoever-"
Roy was cut off by a blaring announcement from the loudspeaker:
*ding dong* "This is your captain speaking just to inform you that there are two armed criminals on the flight, but please remain calm, they are being delft with we have some police officers on the plane who will soon stop them"
"Oh help, good lord save us" shrieked Marth like a schoolgirl
"Good god" said Roy in reply
"I know it is positively terrible that these foul creatures should be allowed on board the aircraft when there is royalty onboard my life is in terrible danger in fact it could even be my fan girls who have taken the plane and are now preparing to sn-"
"Actually" interrupted Roy "I was shocked by the fact that you didn't only use two sentences to show your views"
"Oh" said Marth (there he goes again)
"Now I will tell you what I think about the terrorists on the plane"
"Pray continue" (my, my he's really at it today)
Roy shrieked at a yet higher rate of decibels than Marth if this was possible and the lady in front of them's glasses shattered"
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh." shouted Marth (well at least it was over two lines) massaging his ear drums.
*****
The policemen were now approaching Fox and Falco but were being paid little or no attention to by the battling combatants.
"Sir, for your own safety please put down the gun you could do someone a serious injury with that."
"Diiiie freak bird" screamed Fox at Falco ignoring the man's advice.
"Please sir control yourself!"
"Take this foxy boy" Falco wailed back.
after a while of persuading the men decided that the only thing they could do was to disarm the contestants by force. A police official silently crept up behind Falco and raised his truncheon.
*****
"Don't-a worry you won't-a feel a thing" said the medical plumber
The would be burglar now trust up and helpless uttered a gagged scream of protest,
"There is a slight risk-a that your-a stomach may fall out, is that-a o.k.?" said the doctor
"Mphmmmhphph"
"Oh-a good I love a willing patient-a"
Dr. Mario turned round holding an instrument that would not have looked out of place in a torture chamber, the hapless victim surveyed the many sharp edges, sweating with fear. He again tried to scream
"Mphphphhhhphmh"
*****
Fox fired another shot at Falco he ducked and the laser whizzed into the descending truncheon, the end of the weapon was separated from the hilt and flew off through the door into the control room.
"Uh oh." said the policeman.
a thump was heard then another and after that a scream.
The policemen, and the animal hybrids rushed through the open door to observe the pilot lying unconscious on the floor, swatted down by the flying club. The navigator stood by with a look of horror on his face.
"Come on navigator, you can fly the plane can't you?" said a policeman hopefully
"N-n-o I can't" said the terrified navigator
"Then we're all dead" said the policeman softly and sadly "Jolly good show" said the British gentleman who had again appeared on the scene.
from behind the gentleman came a low cough.
Fox McCloud, leader of the starfox crew stepped forwards,
"Um.I think I can fly the plane" he said softly
*****
"Do you think it's safe to come out yet?" said Roy from beneath the seat
"According to my calculus the terrorists should now have ceased their activities and have been successfully captured by the proper authorities therefore I believe it is safe for us to emerge let us remove ourselves from this undignified position."
"The old Marth 's back" thought Roy to himself.
They carefully crept out from under the seats and looked around"
***** "You?" said a stunned policeman "but you're a terrorist"
"Anyway it's too late now, look" said the navigator pointing out of the window
the crew looked forwards. the plane was heading directly for a building with a large red cross on it at an extremely high speed.
"We can try" said Fox leaping forwards to the controls.
*****
Dr. Mario was just about to insert the implement into the unwilling and terrified patient when the light in the surgery suddenly went out.
"Oh-a dear" he said merrily hurrying to the window.
He flung open the curtains and stared outside. Suddenly his jaw dropped and he stared out of the window paralysed with fear.
"Mhphphmhh???" asked the now curious patient more terrified than ever.
A large jet was heading straight for them at full throttle.
"Mama-Mia!!!" screamed Dr. Mario.
*****
"We're safe now" said Roy happily tucking into a doughnut, he waited for his partner to make an unnecessarily long reply but none came. "Marth? what's wrong?" he said curiously "It's not the fan girls is it?"
Marth was staring out of the window an expression of terror on his face. His blue hair standing on end.
Roy stared out of the window curiously. He observed the building looming quickly towards them.
"Oh sh-"
*****
At the last moment the plane moved upwards only shearing the roof and some of the wall of the surgery off the plane got rather dusty but no damage was done and no one was hurt at all. However during the crash the unwilling patient had managed to loosen his bonds and escape the clutches of the insane doctor.
Dr. Mario himself was shocked to find his patient had left. However his vengeful feelings soon died down when he found the bag of stolen goods the thief had left in his hurry to escape.
"Ah well-a" he said to himself "at-a least he pays-a well"
When he lifted up the massive bag of gold with some difficulty he noticed something under the bag. a small letter in an envelope.
He opened the envelope with a scalpel and read the contents
"Hmm" he pondered.
*****
When the plane landed at the correct destination the crew were so thankful to him for saving them that they overlooked the episode of the fight. When the plane left both hybrids gave the plane a 21 shot salute.
"They seemed nice" said Fox spinning his gun on his finger.
"Yup" said Falco ruffling his feathers.
they both returned the guns to their holsters simultaneously and both met with some resistance. They both took out the now crumpled letter from the holsters and shot the tops off still at the same time. They read the letter their eyes flicking across at the same speed.
"Hmm" they said in unison.
*****
Shaking with fear Roy and Marthe-
"Watch it there narrator."
O.k. then :
and Marth-e
"This is your last warning before you find Falchion buried in you."
and Marth left the plane holding onto each other for support. After a good deal of stuttering explanation they finally managed to inform the customs officer that Marth was a Prince.
"I wonder why they kept stuttering" said the officer who had no knowledge of the events in the plane. "Maybe it's because he's a prince and is worried about assassination."
As it happened Roy & Marth (right first time. "ah you seem to be learning") were still in earshot and at the mention of assassination fled as fast as they could.
When they emerged from the men's bathroom more terrified than ever Roy noticed something sticking out of his passport he looked at Marth's and sure enough there was something sticking out of his as well.
"What's that" he asked his friend
"Arrrrgghghghghgh! where? where?" screamed his paranoid friend staring over his shoulders looking for the would be new threat.
when Roy explained to Marth (wow I'm on a roll "yes, yes very good") about the object they discovered it was a letter they both opened their letters although Roy had to help the prince with his because he was shaking so badly.
they both glanced over the letters, Marth (I rul-"shut up!" yes milord.) also glancing over his shoulders for horrors only known to him.
"Hmm." said Roy having overcome his fear.
"H-h-hmm." said his friend quaking with terror.
*****
Captain Falcon was awakened by the crash (of the plane for those of you who haven't been paying attention)
"Wha-what?" he said to the world in general "Only 1 o'clock pm, waaay too early, still I feel special today" he said getting out of his racing car shaped bed.
"Now Woogles you stay there, daddy will be back soon" he said placing his toy bear on the pillow. (what a foul image)
He went over to the giant mirror in his bathroom and stood in front of it admiring his muscles and bulging his biceps. (yet fouler) "Man I'm pretty" he said to himself and then pointed to the reflective image of himself.
"Heh, heh" he said to the image "Show me your moves!"
above his head a massive rift was created in the fabric of the universe and a helmeted head poked out the body wrapped in armour and furs. It was the author. He said the word which inspires fear in all living creatures:
NI!
C. Falcon quavered under the insult and grovelled before the great figure.
That's it Falcon out, I can just stand you using that taunt in the game but not in my story you don't, away foul cretin go and boil your head.
"but-but" stammered the driver "how come I'm only in for a few lines while everyone else gets to be in for ages"
Because you irritate me. Now go.
"But I haven't even got the letter yet"
Good point here ya go.
the mighty figure, *hem hem* me gave him a small envelope.
he read it veeeeeerrrrry slowly. and then hit upon a cunning plan,
"A masterly plan full of vivacity and form I quite agree with the many factors than make it so like for instance the iambic pentameter which in my valid opinion contributes quite well to the well being of the tale.
he droned on for a while under the authors stern gaze then without warning:
Just say Hmm and quickly.
"Why?"
In response the author drew his mighty long sword and prepared to swing it.
"Hmm" squeaked the terrified F-Zero pilot as quickly as possible
That's more like it, now off with you it's nearly the end.
"O.k. let me just say one thing to the readers"
Fine
"Show me your m-"
GET OFF!!! OR A MAY DO SOMETHING I REGRET LATER.
"Yes sir" said the Captain sulkily slumping off the page.
*****
Phew at last done for this chappie. I apologise for the lateness but I made it extra long instead. So did ya like it? hate it? please tell me. Flames will be used to warm up my house in the long winter evenings. Also is there anything which needs to be changed if so please tell me it would help. Also if you want anything to happen to the people in the next chapter (DK, Yoshi, Samus or Mr Game and Watch please) tell me and I'll try my best to put it in somewhere. also the letter may be revealed next chapter so if you want to see it I would appreciate it if you'd read and review. That would make it all worthwhile. We will no doubt soon find out how Dr. Mario gets on, whether C. Falcon will ever see his precious bear again and whether Marthe will ever become unafraid again.wha? Marth? no, no I didn't mean it no! No! not the sword stop! ahhhh it burns! Ow! It's all going black-Ughnh.
"And so from me MARTHE, I mean MARTH goodnight to ye till we meet again."
First a brief analysis of last week's story:
Ice climbers: After failing to climb a mountain due to Poco's annoying comments they discuss philosophy and why anyone enjoys playing ice climber yet another . Poco then is hit by a meteor and Nana discovers some letters in a snowdrift.
Picachu: After causing chaos in a town he is chased by the police who chase him into a toy shop and destroy thousands of plush toys before running out of ammo. Picachu then flees from the shop and finds a letter in a bush.
Pichu: After terrifying people in the same town by attempting to be cool he is mistaken for Picachu and arrested by the police (gee, its rather like a Shakespearian play isn't it?) He zaps the and then escapes (unlike a Shakespearian play). He is hit by a falling letter and reads it.
Jigglypuff: Climbs onto a podium and sing the only song it knows. Everyone falls asleep. She sees team rocket (I do NOT watch the show anymore) and blasts them with an assault rifle. Then goes to sleep, wakes up and finds a letter next to her.
Mewtwo: After causing havoc with its psychic powers observes a boy who his powers fail to affect. The boy talks to him and reveals his name is Ness. Mewtwo panics and flees spouting random phrases. He finds a letter and reads it psychically.
Ness: After meeting Mewtwo uses his psychic powers to play tricks on the people who he sees. He transports his maths teacher into another dimension.
Kirby: Lives in this other dimension. He sees the maths teacher and eats him. He then spits him out. He goes off to find better food. After eating all day he returns home and devours his entire house before going away to find more food. He finds a letter and eats it.
So there you have it. The characters and their movements' can you work out who did (heavy French accent) ze murder on ze orient express. What am I going on about? I don't know. Anyway on with the fascinating story. The letter will be revealed at some point. but not yet. Hahahaha.I really am mad am I not.
This time there is much danger, dastardly plans, and daring do. Therefore the thrilling play is entitled:
Chapter 3: Danger, dastardly plans, and daring do.
The story written here is very complicated therefore to confuse you yet more and give you another chance to fail to understand the story we will be starting in the centre of act 4. We hope you will find this most useless.
*****
Fox sighed. The plane was extremely slow and boring. Falco sitting next to him also sighed. The plane WAS extremely slow and boring. He stared out the window. The scene of an aircraft wing did not fascinate him much. It was much more exciting in an R-wing. However he and Fox had been banned from using their ships for a month because they had 'accidentally' shot down Slippy the one of great annoyance. (Those of you who have played starfox will know what I mean, whoops I mean starfox of course). Anyway the actual fact was that they had deliberately shot down the frog of annoying squeaking but everyone else had known how Falco and Fox felt about the stupid frog and they also thought that he ought to be shot, so everyone pretended it was an accident and when they got a quiet moment sniggered about the defeat of the so called 'squeal' frog. Back in the plane Falco was tired of staring at the wing and turned to Fox to make conversation with him. He was a complete failure at making good conversation.
"Fox?" he said.
"Hmm?" said Fox looking up from the map of possible escape routes from the plane.
"What y'a doin'?"
"Hmm." said Fox.
A slight pause ensued during which Falco stared at the sea down below and Fox rule out the possibility of leaping out of the front window.
Then.
"Fox?"
"Hmm?"
"Why did we have to get Virgin airlines tickets?"
"Because they're cheap."
"But the plane is boring"
"Well do something"
Falco stared round to find something to do. He noticed the small games console in front of him. Something to do. Falco picked up the controller.
A few minutes later Fox got bored of trying to flee the plane.
"Falco?"
"Hmm?" said the enthralled birdman.
"What y'a doin'?"
"Playing on this thing"
"Oh." said Fox picking up the controller.
*****
"Ooh yeah" said Fox later "183 points!"
"217" smirked Falco taking his eyes of the screen.
A loud bleep erupted from his speakers
"Noooooooo!" screamed Falco
It was Fox's turn to smirk
"Oh dear Falco, was that your last life, tut, tut," he sniggered.
A stewardess came up next to them with a trolley of food.
"Like anything, sirs" she said hopefully
She was ignored as the two pilots played on the consoles.
She repeated the question again louder; again there was no reply. 10 minutes later she managed to make herself heard to them and some of the other plane travellers were beginning to complain about the noise. Fox looked up.
"Could you please repeat that I didn't quite hear you." he said.
She screamed the message at him.
"Oh," said Fox "No thank you."
The stewardess went on with the trolley muttering about animal customers and paying attention to other people as well as death threats.
"She seemed nice" said Fox to Falco.
"Who?" said Falco his eyes glued to the screen.
*****
Dr. Mario was is his surgery room waiting for a patient to arrive. However only one person had ever been cured by him. This was due to the fact that Dr. Mario unlike any other doctors did not give people pills or medicine but instead attacked viruses himself and usually smashed them to kingdom come. This treatment, however effective had an unusual effect on the patient who usually screamed and clutched at the part of their body where Dr. Mario had hit them.
"I must-a have a patient to-a day" he said to himself
several hours later Dr. Mario was dozing quietly. Someone came through the door making the bell ring.
"Wha-what-a?" said a drowsy Dr. M
The man who entered wore a scarf around his neck and mouth. He had one hand in his pocket clutching a strange object. He also bore a set of dark glasses on his nose.
"Gimme all your money on a check and no one gets hurt. I have a gun I'm not afraid to hurt you."
Doctor Mario was still very sleepy and did not quite hear properly also the man's scarf muffled his voice. What the Doctor seemingly heard was:
"Gimme.check.have.hurt."
"What-a?" said Dr. M "You want-a me to give-a you a check-a up-a because you-a have a hurt-a?"
He did not wait for a reply. Instead flung the unsuspecting man onto the operating table. At the force of impact the gun flew out of the man's pocket and flew across the room.
"So-a what seems-a to be the problem-a?"
The terrified man screamed out "Help meeeeeee!" he screamed in the vague hope that someone would hear and rescue him from this lunatic.
"You-a want-a me to help-a you?" said Dr. Mario
"No! No! pleeease let me go" screeched the man. However his cries were masked by Mario dancing round the room yelling:
"I've-a got-a a patient! I've-a got-a a patient! I've-a got-a a patient!"
he suddenly stopped.
"Now-a let me-a help-a you." he said grinning menacingly, he rolled up his sleeves and balled his fists. Then slowly advanced on the man who was wide eyed with fear.
*****
Back on the jet in the upper class seating area sat Marth and Roy. Well Roy was sitting Marth was cowering under the seat.
"Come out Marth" said Roy
"Never" said Marth
"Please come out and talk with me"
"Oh it's alright for you, You aren't going to die"
"For the final time Marth you are NOT going to die."
"Yes I am" screeched Marth hysterically "My fan girls will kill me because I have a wife and then IF that fails then of course I will be the first or only one to die if this is yet another Big Brother, 10 little Indians type story"
"A what?" said Roy
"10 little Indians" Marth replied "It's a poem about little Indians who die one by one, It was cunningly adapted into a Agatha Christie detective novel in 1923 and was helped into print by."
he tailed off as Roy gave him a hard stare.
"O.k. Marth cut down on the reading" he said
"That's another problem" screamed Marth "Why does everyone call me Marth, (except annoying people who give me nicknames like blue boy or tiara boy) My real name is spelt Marthe, M-a-r-t-h-e. Well either that or the ssbm website is extremely wrong about something"
"O.k. ." said Roy again "Marth or Marthe as you please do you ever say anything under 2 lines in this story.
"Yes I did at the beginning of the section when I was saying I was going to die, really Roy I am indeed surprised that you failed to notice that. I find it highly incomprehensible that this important item could be missed."
"O.k. ." said Roy yet again.
"Quite," came the reply from the blue haired prince" therefore as I have explained to you before not only am I greatly irked by the whole procedure but I am also Dooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooomed!"
"I agree" said Roy calmly
*****
Going back to the other lower class part of the plane Fox and Falco were having an argument about points on the game,
"Oh yeah right" said Fox "I reeeeealy believe you got 10000 points, I bet you couldn't even get 10"
"I did" said Falco shortly
"Well, where's the score?"
"Um.I...I deleted it"
"You lie"
"I do not"
"Yes you do"
"Are you mocking me???"
"Yeah, so?"
"I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson then"
"Come on then bird boy lets see what you've got!"
"come on then"
at this point both Fox McCloud & Falco Lombardi drew their weapons and proceeded to open fire upon each other.
*****
"That's funny" said Roy "I wonder what that sound was"
Marth, or Marthe-
"shut up and get on with the story you can call me Marth because the readers limited intelligence may not be able to cope with this every time my name is mentioned therefore pray continue dwelling upon that point".
fine then,:
Marth(e)-
"Do IT! you foul specimen otherwise I will be forced to mutilate you terribly by removing your extremely large cartilaginous ears from your oversized cranium"
fine, fine, fine,:
Marth gulped
"Maybe my fan girls have boarded the plane, with the swift intent of revenge."
*****
"Ahhhhhhhh" screamed a flight attendant as a laser flew past her ear and buried itself in the wall next to her
"Terrorists!" wailed the waiter
"We're all dooooooomed" said an odd Scotch person who happened to be nearby
"Save us" screamed a woman with a flowery hat"
"Dieeeeee" added Fox
"Wriiiithe" commented Falco
"What's all the fuss down here, wot?" drawled an English gentleman eager to give his view on the situation.
*****
"Don't worry Marth" said Roy again "we will all be o.k., just caaaalm down"
"Yes, yes, I suppose you are quite right my friend I have been behaving rather rashly today I suppose I must account that my nerves have been giving me a lot of trouble recently" said you know who.
"It's perfectly safe here you know there is nothing whatsoever-"
Roy was cut off by a blaring announcement from the loudspeaker:
*ding dong* "This is your captain speaking just to inform you that there are two armed criminals on the flight, but please remain calm, they are being delft with we have some police officers on the plane who will soon stop them"
"Oh help, good lord save us" shrieked Marth like a schoolgirl
"Good god" said Roy in reply
"I know it is positively terrible that these foul creatures should be allowed on board the aircraft when there is royalty onboard my life is in terrible danger in fact it could even be my fan girls who have taken the plane and are now preparing to sn-"
"Actually" interrupted Roy "I was shocked by the fact that you didn't only use two sentences to show your views"
"Oh" said Marth (there he goes again)
"Now I will tell you what I think about the terrorists on the plane"
"Pray continue" (my, my he's really at it today)
Roy shrieked at a yet higher rate of decibels than Marth if this was possible and the lady in front of them's glasses shattered"
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh." shouted Marth (well at least it was over two lines) massaging his ear drums.
*****
The policemen were now approaching Fox and Falco but were being paid little or no attention to by the battling combatants.
"Sir, for your own safety please put down the gun you could do someone a serious injury with that."
"Diiiie freak bird" screamed Fox at Falco ignoring the man's advice.
"Please sir control yourself!"
"Take this foxy boy" Falco wailed back.
after a while of persuading the men decided that the only thing they could do was to disarm the contestants by force. A police official silently crept up behind Falco and raised his truncheon.
*****
"Don't-a worry you won't-a feel a thing" said the medical plumber
The would be burglar now trust up and helpless uttered a gagged scream of protest,
"There is a slight risk-a that your-a stomach may fall out, is that-a o.k.?" said the doctor
"Mphmmmhphph"
"Oh-a good I love a willing patient-a"
Dr. Mario turned round holding an instrument that would not have looked out of place in a torture chamber, the hapless victim surveyed the many sharp edges, sweating with fear. He again tried to scream
"Mphphphhhhphmh"
*****
Fox fired another shot at Falco he ducked and the laser whizzed into the descending truncheon, the end of the weapon was separated from the hilt and flew off through the door into the control room.
"Uh oh." said the policeman.
a thump was heard then another and after that a scream.
The policemen, and the animal hybrids rushed through the open door to observe the pilot lying unconscious on the floor, swatted down by the flying club. The navigator stood by with a look of horror on his face.
"Come on navigator, you can fly the plane can't you?" said a policeman hopefully
"N-n-o I can't" said the terrified navigator
"Then we're all dead" said the policeman softly and sadly "Jolly good show" said the British gentleman who had again appeared on the scene.
from behind the gentleman came a low cough.
Fox McCloud, leader of the starfox crew stepped forwards,
"Um.I think I can fly the plane" he said softly
*****
"Do you think it's safe to come out yet?" said Roy from beneath the seat
"According to my calculus the terrorists should now have ceased their activities and have been successfully captured by the proper authorities therefore I believe it is safe for us to emerge let us remove ourselves from this undignified position."
"The old Marth 's back" thought Roy to himself.
They carefully crept out from under the seats and looked around"
***** "You?" said a stunned policeman "but you're a terrorist"
"Anyway it's too late now, look" said the navigator pointing out of the window
the crew looked forwards. the plane was heading directly for a building with a large red cross on it at an extremely high speed.
"We can try" said Fox leaping forwards to the controls.
*****
Dr. Mario was just about to insert the implement into the unwilling and terrified patient when the light in the surgery suddenly went out.
"Oh-a dear" he said merrily hurrying to the window.
He flung open the curtains and stared outside. Suddenly his jaw dropped and he stared out of the window paralysed with fear.
"Mhphphmhh???" asked the now curious patient more terrified than ever.
A large jet was heading straight for them at full throttle.
"Mama-Mia!!!" screamed Dr. Mario.
*****
"We're safe now" said Roy happily tucking into a doughnut, he waited for his partner to make an unnecessarily long reply but none came. "Marth? what's wrong?" he said curiously "It's not the fan girls is it?"
Marth was staring out of the window an expression of terror on his face. His blue hair standing on end.
Roy stared out of the window curiously. He observed the building looming quickly towards them.
"Oh sh-"
*****
At the last moment the plane moved upwards only shearing the roof and some of the wall of the surgery off the plane got rather dusty but no damage was done and no one was hurt at all. However during the crash the unwilling patient had managed to loosen his bonds and escape the clutches of the insane doctor.
Dr. Mario himself was shocked to find his patient had left. However his vengeful feelings soon died down when he found the bag of stolen goods the thief had left in his hurry to escape.
"Ah well-a" he said to himself "at-a least he pays-a well"
When he lifted up the massive bag of gold with some difficulty he noticed something under the bag. a small letter in an envelope.
He opened the envelope with a scalpel and read the contents
"Hmm" he pondered.
*****
When the plane landed at the correct destination the crew were so thankful to him for saving them that they overlooked the episode of the fight. When the plane left both hybrids gave the plane a 21 shot salute.
"They seemed nice" said Fox spinning his gun on his finger.
"Yup" said Falco ruffling his feathers.
they both returned the guns to their holsters simultaneously and both met with some resistance. They both took out the now crumpled letter from the holsters and shot the tops off still at the same time. They read the letter their eyes flicking across at the same speed.
"Hmm" they said in unison.
*****
Shaking with fear Roy and Marthe-
"Watch it there narrator."
O.k. then :
and Marth-e
"This is your last warning before you find Falchion buried in you."
and Marth left the plane holding onto each other for support. After a good deal of stuttering explanation they finally managed to inform the customs officer that Marth was a Prince.
"I wonder why they kept stuttering" said the officer who had no knowledge of the events in the plane. "Maybe it's because he's a prince and is worried about assassination."
As it happened Roy & Marth (right first time. "ah you seem to be learning") were still in earshot and at the mention of assassination fled as fast as they could.
When they emerged from the men's bathroom more terrified than ever Roy noticed something sticking out of his passport he looked at Marth's and sure enough there was something sticking out of his as well.
"What's that" he asked his friend
"Arrrrgghghghghgh! where? where?" screamed his paranoid friend staring over his shoulders looking for the would be new threat.
when Roy explained to Marth (wow I'm on a roll "yes, yes very good") about the object they discovered it was a letter they both opened their letters although Roy had to help the prince with his because he was shaking so badly.
they both glanced over the letters, Marth (I rul-"shut up!" yes milord.) also glancing over his shoulders for horrors only known to him.
"Hmm." said Roy having overcome his fear.
"H-h-hmm." said his friend quaking with terror.
*****
Captain Falcon was awakened by the crash (of the plane for those of you who haven't been paying attention)
"Wha-what?" he said to the world in general "Only 1 o'clock pm, waaay too early, still I feel special today" he said getting out of his racing car shaped bed.
"Now Woogles you stay there, daddy will be back soon" he said placing his toy bear on the pillow. (what a foul image)
He went over to the giant mirror in his bathroom and stood in front of it admiring his muscles and bulging his biceps. (yet fouler) "Man I'm pretty" he said to himself and then pointed to the reflective image of himself.
"Heh, heh" he said to the image "Show me your moves!"
above his head a massive rift was created in the fabric of the universe and a helmeted head poked out the body wrapped in armour and furs. It was the author. He said the word which inspires fear in all living creatures:
NI!
C. Falcon quavered under the insult and grovelled before the great figure.
That's it Falcon out, I can just stand you using that taunt in the game but not in my story you don't, away foul cretin go and boil your head.
"but-but" stammered the driver "how come I'm only in for a few lines while everyone else gets to be in for ages"
Because you irritate me. Now go.
"But I haven't even got the letter yet"
Good point here ya go.
the mighty figure, *hem hem* me gave him a small envelope.
he read it veeeeeerrrrry slowly. and then hit upon a cunning plan,
"A masterly plan full of vivacity and form I quite agree with the many factors than make it so like for instance the iambic pentameter which in my valid opinion contributes quite well to the well being of the tale.
he droned on for a while under the authors stern gaze then without warning:
Just say Hmm and quickly.
"Why?"
In response the author drew his mighty long sword and prepared to swing it.
"Hmm" squeaked the terrified F-Zero pilot as quickly as possible
That's more like it, now off with you it's nearly the end.
"O.k. let me just say one thing to the readers"
Fine
"Show me your m-"
GET OFF!!! OR A MAY DO SOMETHING I REGRET LATER.
"Yes sir" said the Captain sulkily slumping off the page.
*****
Phew at last done for this chappie. I apologise for the lateness but I made it extra long instead. So did ya like it? hate it? please tell me. Flames will be used to warm up my house in the long winter evenings. Also is there anything which needs to be changed if so please tell me it would help. Also if you want anything to happen to the people in the next chapter (DK, Yoshi, Samus or Mr Game and Watch please) tell me and I'll try my best to put it in somewhere. also the letter may be revealed next chapter so if you want to see it I would appreciate it if you'd read and review. That would make it all worthwhile. We will no doubt soon find out how Dr. Mario gets on, whether C. Falcon will ever see his precious bear again and whether Marthe will ever become unafraid again.wha? Marth? no, no I didn't mean it no! No! not the sword stop! ahhhh it burns! Ow! It's all going black-Ughnh.
"And so from me MARTHE, I mean MARTH goodnight to ye till we meet again."