Title: Autumn
Authoress: Asuki
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: yaoi, sap, mild angst & eccentric notions
Summary: Kai suffers from nightmares, and someone is there to help
him, comfort him... but who? [yaoi, one-shot]
Disclaimer: I do not own beyblade or its characters. I simply borrow
them from time to time and return them relatively unharmed.
Status: unrevised
Enjoy, if possible.
==========
You're whimpering, again.
It
was the same old night, same old room. Sleep has become a distant memory, a
place of peace and serenity, something we obviously lack. All that's left now is
rest, mandatory rest. So that we have enough energy for the next day, to carry
out more tests and experiments, to train.
Have you ever stopped and
thought about all this?
All these years, the same routine. Do you
remember when we were young? I dare say we were just children, carefree,
innocent, vulnerable.
Helplessly young.
Take a look at us now. Sometimes I wonder
whether you could still see it in my eyes, do I still have the same fire blazing
inside of me? Or has my icy exterior masked away those joyous years, when we
were free to be ourselves, when we were happy...? I think I know the answer, but
somewhere deep down inside of me, I prayed, for even the vaguest glimpses of
memories to remain, for the most minuscule proportion of hope to linger, to
exist.
The truth is, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid to find out what
tomorrow has in stored for us. Not the usual training schedule, not at all.
Humans have the ability to adapt into environments they are thrown in right? So
after years, you are supposed to be use to it. And I am. That is not my pinnacle
of fear, no.
Truth be told, my fear connects to you. In fact, I fear for
you.
What if you're next? What will become of me when they take you away?
The tall black doors of the building that spoke of terror itself; the endless
corridors with metal doors that shut with the most horrifying clanking noises;
the ominous rooms filled with unimaginable anguish, torment.
I've been
there, and I don't want you to go through it, not the way I did. Is this what
it's like to care for someone? Or am I merely a selfish being whom is reluctant
to loose a companion, a friend, a lover...
I can't help but to smile when
I think of you. Not my predator smile that is displayed before a match as I
intimidate my opponents, not my sarcastic smirk that taunts and ridicules my
fellow comrades, but an unadulterated smile, a genuine one.
The walls are
still stone cold, the small window is still barred, the night is still dark.
From the distance between our beds I see you, just vaguely. I sense your
silhouette as you writhe under the thin layers, struggling to escape from your
nightmare's ravenous grasp. How long has it been, I didn't keep track. All I
know is that you thrash under the clutches of the same demons that haunt you,
keeping me up all night.
And when you wake up, you'll never admit it.
Countless times I insisted on helping you, the answer only too evident. But I
know you'll remember the dreams, every single one of them. Heck, it could all be
the same one, but that's insignificant. You don't admit your fears to anyone,
you don't even reveal them to me, but don't you know that it's plain on your
face? At dawn, the only time you are free of your mask, where you don't have to
pretend, don't need to act. I understand you, even the perfect warrior is
allowed to be scared shitless at times. It's funny how your traits go unnoticed
by any other, or maybe I just know you too well.
Well that explains it.
No
one will ever believe us though. All they know is that we are supposed to be
emotionless, and that means fearless. We have been brought up to be secluded,
impassive, callous, and more. While that was true, most don't see, cannot look
past our façade. To them, we are just machines, monsters, uncaring bastards
that will do anything to achieve victory.
We live, we breathe, and we do
feel.
It becomes a whole different story at night. Only under the protection
of the dark, when we are alone, do we truly be ourselves. We can never be
normal, so don't bother to compare us to simple minded teenagers, it would be a
disgrace if I was ever thought as anything near normal. It's like we have an
alter ego, one for day, one at night.
Now that is a truly terrifying
thought.
When you're training, or in a battle, you can at least surrender
yourself to the sensation. There is no need to think, you just do what they tell
you, follow your instincts, do as you are trained. Pull the ripcord harder; run
faster; channel more energy; improve your attack... and don't lose. But at
night, to some extent you are free, to let your thoughts roam, to think.
So
here I am, laying motionless in my bed, wide awake, watching your silent
suffers.
A pang of guilt makes its way up my chest, crawling under my
skin, daring me to do something about it. The slightest feeling stirred in the
back of my throat, something like compassion. Realization dawns soon enough,
past the fear that had latched itself deep inside my bones.
Just
like me, you didn't choose it, you didn't want it.
But do we get a
choice? No.
Perhaps that was what drove me to slip from my bed. My
bare skin breaks the contact, and no matter how many times I tried to stop it, I
shiver involuntarily. As I climbed into your bed, I took a second to contemplate
my actions and the cause. I don't deny my love for you, but I still cringe upon
the mention of that word. So that was it, love, simple yet complicated.
Hastily
I shook my head, I'm not making any sense here. Then again, love doesn't have a sense,
it just be.
Your body is still, clam despite the mental conquers
undergoing in your mind. You don't much as recoil as I slipped under the
blankets, right next to you. A wave of tranquillity washes over me, accompanied
with your familiar heat, oh the things you do to me. I shift closer, lying on one
side and extended an arm to touch yours, to hold you. We stayed in that position
for moments, before my arm closes around your waist, pressing your body firmly
against mine.
Bare skin came in contact with one another, nothing less
than welcoming the comforting touch, even craving more. You snuggle more into my
chest, closing the already electrifying proximity. Once more my lips curved into
a smile, my hand went on an exploration of your sides, feeling the smooth
texture and the ripples of muscle underneath. The pale skin glowed under the
moonlight, giving me the impression of ethereality.
I take in a
deep breath, once more marvelling at the beauty before me.
Incoherent,
indistinct syllables leave your mouth, and I know you are enjoying my touch. I'm
pretty sure any touch but mine would have you instantly awake, up on your feet and throwing
a punch at the invader. I know you, always alert, always on guard. It gives me
even more satisfaction to know that I am that special one, I posses the touch your
body recognizes and accepts.
You wake slowly, stirring before your
eyes fully flutter open, taking in the sight of the blank ceiling, but feeling a
reassuring presence next to yours. A moment later I found myself lost within
your crimson depths, staring right into your soul. Your features are something I
will never get tired of looking at, the sheer splendour is enough to drive me crazy.
My eyes wander
across your pale form, up from your azure bangs, down past your unquestioning irises,
across your defined cheekbones and jaw line, finally halting before your still
lips. The moonlight assisted me in finding them, and you didn't hesitate. I know
you needed the touch, the comfort and release, as much as I did. Kissing was
something else you didn't need to think about, strange enough. You can just let all
your worries fly out the window and let your primal instincts guide you to that
one person.
Your taste was also something that will always captivate me,
if I had to describe it then I would say a clear winter breeze, sharp yet
tender and exquisite like none other. Breaking the kiss, I licked my lips as I
tasted your very own essence. Of course it wasn't enough as I soon move down to
your neck, flicking out my tongue and teasing the exposed skin. You toss your
head back like you always do, a silent demand for me to continue. I complied as
you wish, sending feather kisses and nibbles over the pulse at the side of your
neck, also electric sparks down your spine.
Your scent, intoxicating much
like your taste. I would drown and die happy just to have your scent in my
company.
Needing more contact, I curl up on my fours before
shifting so that I lay on top of you, straddling you with my thighs. Your body
tensed up before you gave in to the pleasure and let a moan escape your delicate
lips, a sound that I find utterly fulfilling, to know that I am the one causing those
lovely reactions. I place both hands on your shoulders before sliding them down,
roaming them across your broad chest; my mouth once more found its way to your
neck, resuming the previous actions only this time my tongue found its way just
below your Adam's apple.
Did I ever tell you your skin is sweetly
salty and warm?
Our lips met once more in a clash, only this time it
wasn't teasing or gentle, it was passionate. Your bottom lips is clamped between
mine as I nibble slightly on the delicate flesh. I slip my tongue into the
familiar territory, letting the titillating combination of rough and slick
consume me. I know your taste off by heart, every smell, every curve. Just like
you know me inside out, as well as everything in between. Yet every time we
explore each other like our first, thorough, gentle and caring touches at first
that soon turns into something wild and ardent.
Knowing there's the slightest
possibility of being our last.
You moan my name as I attack your neck
once more. It holds so much meaning, the way you say my name, it's more than the
lust or want, it's something deeper, much deeper. A simple sound, yet it is
enough to express more than either of us ever need to. You tangle your hands
within my tresses, holding me tight like a precious teddy bear, like something
you've lost as a child. I pull back from my ministrations momentarily to look
into your eyes again, and a thought hit me.
You'll never change, you'll always
be the burning phoenix, and your eyes tells me that.
A quick brush of
lips before I close my eyes and fall against you, your heartbeat matching those
of my own, pumping with vigour, joy and also love. I once more roll on my side,
arms around your waist again. You thank me for helping you tonight, no words
came from my mouth but instead I place a kiss on your shoulder blade and tighten
my hold on you. In reply you curl up against my frame, murmuring I love you
before falling into some much needed sleep.
For a moment, I
wondered what we must look like together. Perhaps we were like autumn, compared
to our inversed colours, just like autumn is with other seasons. Or maybe we were
closer to winter, with our icy exteriors and a touch of cold to our appearances,
yet inside we burn, we sear. Then again, if we, together resemble anything at
all, I will forever be the sheer ice lurking behind the chills and closed doors;
and you, eternally the light and fire, lingering in the darkest rooms, smouldering.
the
end.
==========
A/N: Pointless and pathetic, I know. Still,
guesses or comments will be much welcomed, though I damn right gave it away.