I return. After a yet shorter time I am back to write yet more of this
completely insane tale of things we cannot perceive yet we know are going
on somewhere in the world. Never forget that this is not a game this is
real nothing in this world is an illusion it is just a space to pass into
another universe. On a lighter note here is chapter 4 which will contain
more excitement than a ferret with pepper up its nose in an enclosed area.
I therefore present you with the new characters featured in this chapter.
They are: Samus, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, and everyone's favourite two
dimensional man (save maybe paper Mario) Mr Game & Watch. I present to you
these characters in association with Daz ("I told you to stop doing that in
the interval" sorry Marth(e), "and that too" sorry, anyway on with the
tale) washing powder. We now present to you the locked door. Here's what
happened last time:
Fox: On a plane with Falco they have an argument about game point scores and end up stunning the plane's captain. Fox then bravely saves the plane by taking over the controls. When the plane lands he is hailed like a hero. Finds the letter in his gun holster.
Falco: On a plane with Fox they have an argument about game point scores and end up stunning the plane's captain. Falco assists fox to fly the plane to the destination. When the plane lands he is also hailed like a hero. Finds the letter in his gun holster.
Dr. Mario: In his surgery mistakes a gunman for a patient and prepares to perform surgery on him. At the last moment the plane piloted by Fox hits part of the building but the gunman escapes leaving behind a bag of valuables. Dr. M takes these as payment and finds a letter under the bag.
Marth: In the upper class are of the plane with Roy. Hiding from his fan- girls who he is convinced will murder him. He nearly dies of shock several times during the flight and leaves the plane trembling. Finds the letter in his passport. And opens it with trembling fingers.
Roy: In the upper class are of the plane with Marth. Attempting to help the paranoid prince that he is not going to die. Also nearly dies of shock several times during the flight. However once off the plane quickly recovers. Finds the letter in his passport.
C. Falcon: the less said the better.
And now, Ladies and gentlemen, Lets get ready to rumble! ("really author you have as much humour in you as a peeled balloon" explain? "a peeled balloon is nothing therefore you have no humour in you." Lovely well anyway,) OK lets go!
'Soulssss'
"What was that?"
Oh, don't worry, it's just the demon scarecrow whom we were given by the company to help us think up more plot lines. Apparently he is exceptionally intelligent and grammatically correct. However at current he's not much help as he only seems to know one word.
'Soulsss'
"I see, anyway."
Yes anyway on with the story:
'Soulsss!'
This chapter is dedicated to Airshi, defender of yoshi isla for helping me to think up the whole first half.
*****
In the midst of space a large planet was exploding. This was nothing unusual in the midst of space, I mean, once you've seen one planet exploding you've seen them all. Still out of the blazing inferno which was once a planet (the rocks formerly known as planet) came a small ship which looked very looked rather decayed and burned. It was a small insect-like ship. Inside it a robot encased woman was fighting her way to the control panel. Samus.
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Splarge" said a yet more unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Splarge" said the most unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Alas, as time passes my body will deteriorate, as now I am dead" said a well educated unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Splurge" said a rebellious unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien who was not with the pattern of events as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
And many more unusual phrases came from the lips (do aliens have lips? "I don't know how about you scarecrow" 'Soulss' "well that was revealing!") of the aliens whom (grammar) were exploding in fountains of goo. The bionic warioress Eventually reached the front end of the ship where for some unknown reason the monsters were more difficult as they always are in metroid games when you near your goal. Eventually she reached the control room where a swarm of metroids were lurking in the shadows to ambush her. However metroids, however transparent are not very good at hiding They stood out like a Tarantula on a plate. The gun was being charged. Seeing this the metroids either fled or charged. Most fled. When the ones which charged reached her the gun had already gone off.
"Splarglghtlempoddemplefrop" said most of the metroids as they were incinerated by the blast.
"Splarglghtlempoddemplefrod" said the rest of the metroids as they were incinerated by the blast.
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien who was there for no apparent reason as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
Samus wiped burned metroids and unusual looking alien goo from her visor as she typed I the co-ordinates of her home planet into the computer with tapping sound effects.
"Welcome" said the computer "You've got mail"
Samus did not care that she had mail, nor that the computer was Windows. Nor that the Internet seemed to be AOL. She typed in the co-ordinates irritably. Soon the little ship was heading towards a distant planet. She didn't notice that in the shadows there lurked a single metroid which had not been caught in the blast. This was a specially bred metroid which could blend into shadows. It was a shadow metroid. The robotic warrior was intently staring out of the window into the galaxy. Suddenly out of nowhere came the three main characters of pokémon and time stopped save on the three characters.
"Woah" said Ash in his gritty voice "where are we?"
"What's that thing?" said misty pointing at the metroid "d'ya suppose its a water pokémon?"
"Nah, It's gotta be a fire pokémon" said Ash idiotically, Ill try out Dexter on it"
*bleep*
This is not a pokémon. This is a metroid from no current game. It has been trained by the finest ninja masters from all over the world. And as a result can blend into the shadows and can kill in a blow. The most dangerous creature known to mankind and any other kind.
"So its a fire pokémon" said Ash yet more foolishly.
"Er." said Misty, "What do you think Brock?"
But Brock was staring at Samus, somehow he knew that inside that adamantine shell there was a body as.
suddenly the whole party vanished and time regained its flow. The metroid slowly moved towards Samus its claws arced upwards in an attack designed to kill at a blow, now the claws were falling towards the unprotected head.
*****
Elsewhere on a small island a number of medium sized dinosaurs were strutting around as if they owned the place, which they did, but that's not the point. There appeared to be some sort of special ceremony going on as there was a small clearing infested with the creatures and with many long houses made out of palm leaves. The dinosaurs were rushing about in a frenzied state carrying fruit around and repeatedly bumping into each other, except five which were seated in one of the long houses with mountains of food piled on great plates in front of them. By now you have probably realised that these creatures were Yoshis. If you have not you are either rather foolish or should not be reading this story.
The five Yoshis were all of different colours; There was a blue Yoshi, a red Yoshi, a green Yoshi, a yellow Yoshi, and a black and white with pink spotted Yoshi. There was an equal amount of food on each plate. And the Yoshis appeared raring to go.
"Yoshi, Yoshi Yosh?" said one.
"Yoshi Yo." Said a second in reply.
"Yoshi Yo-" one began, then time again stopped.
A large galaxy shrunk and began to swirl in the room then a hole appeared in the centre and out of it cane a cloaked figure, Yes the author had returned.
"Um, I assume that no one here can speak or understand Yosheic therefore I'm just going to leave this little translator here where all the action is."
He placed a small box in the corner of the room and then vanished in a swirl of stars and time returned to normal.
"-gree completely with your statement" continued the Yoshi, who had been interrupted by the halt in the passage of time.
"What do you think Red?" Said another Yoshi
"Well." said the red Yoshi
A much smaller Yoshi burst in an announced in a loud voice:
"The contest is about to begin, please take up your positions!"
The select Yoshis took up assorted positions near their plates of food. The excitement outside was so intensely intense that it was depressive. ("Is that possible?" I assume so. "Oh, o.k. continue, sirrah" 'Soulsss' "Silence worm") The Yoshis leaped up and down and made bets on the contest.
Inside the countdown had begun:
"Five" said the small Yoshi
"four.three.two.one"
The Yoshis moved towards the food.
"Let the feasting begin" screamed the small Yoshi.
*****
At the last moment an asteroid collided with the side of the ship sending it off balance. With an audible shriek the assassin metroid was flung to one side with a sickening crunch as it collided with the wall. Upon hearing this Samus whirled round and fired a missile at the are from where the sounds came. As the missile hit the assassin metroid it uttered its last shriek and then exploded into a smouldering heap. Smoking slightly. It bubbled and then evaporated. However this was the least of Samus' current worries. The meteor had smashed off the whole of the right wing and without it the ship was helpless.
"Damn," thought Samus "Just after I'd waxed it"
The ship began it's slow spiralling decent towards a distant planet which was looming slowly nearer as the ship descended. The planet seemed unusually bright coloured. Samus stared at it in amazement, it really was brightly coloured.
Luckily the anti-gravity boosters were still functioning properly and Samus managed to slow the descent to the planet. The ship was now entering The planet's cloud layer. As it streaked through the clouds trails of vapour fled off the sides of the ship. Samus looked sideways and saw that the sun was smiling at her. She screamed and went away from the window. "3 seconds to impact" said onboard computer. "For more information on windows products please visit the web site at 'www.wi-'"
BOOM
The ship hit the ground at seventy mph and rolled over on its' side. Samus had some difficulty disentangling herself from the wreckage however eventually escaped after a while and stared around at the strange alien world.
*****
"And the winner is Yellow Yoshi" wailed the small Yoshi
"Second place to Green Yoshi" he said in a megaphone voice
"And third place is to B&W with pink spotted Yoshi" he screamed his voice giving out on him.
The inhabitants of Yoshi island wailed their response in happiness or irritation. And then the shaking of hands and patting of backs started. When Green Yoshi managed to tear himself away from the proceedings to go back home his stomach felt slightly odd. Maybe it was all that food he had consumed. He needed something to help him digest his meal. Maybe he would find something on the way home.
"A good day all in all" he thought to himself
("How come we can still hear him?"
He swallowed the translator as he thought it was a beverage "Oh, right continue then" 'Soulssssss')
"But I do need a thing to help me digest" he said out loud.
*****
Samus was amazed by her surroundings .Everything was in vibrant colour. And the sun was shining brightly. She had got used to it's face by now. Suddenly out of the corner of her eye she saw something move, it looked reptilian, she readied herself for combat.
*****
Yoshi rounded a corner on the dust road to home and saw something unusual. There was a large metal thing like an insect and in front of it a metal figure which was certainly not a Yoshi. From his point of view it looked just the thing to cure his indigestion. He ran towards it.
"Yoshi" he said.
The metal figure obviously had misjudged his range as did not attack. Yoshi stuck out his long tongue and wrapped it round the thing's waist. He, despite it's struggles dragged it into his cavernous belly. However it had so many pointy edges it made Yoshi's stomach hurt even more. He decided to get rid of it by changing it into an egg. He laid the egg and went on his way fed up. But then realised that the pain in his stomach had gone. He danced away happily. Singing:
"Yoshi, Yoshi. Yoshi? Yoshi!"
*****
Samus was extremely humiliated. She was trapped inside an egg. And what was worse she had been entrapped by a not very strong looking creature and what was most humiliating of all she could not get out of the egg. After rolling around for a while she decided that the only thing left to do was to shoot her way out. She charged up a fully powered shot and fired it an the wall. Not a scratch was made. Then she decided to lay a bomb. It exploded. The shell broke at last. Happily she scrambled to her feet and jumped up and down on the shell which was formerly known as her prison.
However floating in the yolk was a small neat letter. She decided to be careful after all if a small dinosaur was that dangerous then the letter could be her doom. She leant it up against a tree and stood well back. Then fired a large ball of energy at it neatly shearing off the top.
After a period of time had elapsed she went cautiously towards the letter and envelope. She took out the letter and read it at arms length. After a deal of time she made up her mind.
"Hmm" was her decision.
*****
Yoshi arrived at his house and plucked a watermelon from his garden. After all that walking he was hungry. He went inside to eat it . However! When he split it open there was no soft flesh to bite into. There was nothing. Save a letter. Yoshi was horror-struck! Where was the melon? Maybe the letter would give him some clue as to it's whereabouts. He read the letter carefully to make sure there was nothing about the melon that he had missed. Since there was nothing about melons in the letter he ate it instead and as it went down his gullet he said to the world in general.
"Yoshi?".
*****
Donkey Kong or as he was more commonly known as DK strolled leisurely towards the ferry. Being a sensible person he had given himself plenty of time to reach his destination but not too much so that he would have to wait around. In fact it was not a commonly known fact about DK but he was one of the more intelligent of the super smash brothers team. Not the unintelligent ape was Donkey Kong. And oh how he hated that name. His true name was Denver Kanokworthy. Or in full Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy. His name had been shortened to DK, which he did not mind but when he was compared to a mule it was more than what his nerves could stand. As he strolled along the dock he whistled to himself quietly swinging his umbrella in his hands. He raised his bowler hat to several sea going families who either waved back of gave him glances of surprise. Denver Kanokworthy did not mind he merely continued his leisurely saunter down the road to the ship which he was boarding. As he approached the ship he waved at the harbour master who was just coming out of his office. He quickly ran back inside. Denver handed his ticket to the sailor who was on duty. Who looked rather aghast at him and then remembering his manners said
"Thank you sir"
"Not at all, it is you whom I must thank for being so amiable" replied the ape, the model of rectitude and politeness, as he strolled inside the steel vessel.
In his cabin DK placed his neatly folded clothes in the drawer and took out of one of the cupboards, the ships map. He perched his reading glasses carefully on his nose. And began to read.
"Let me see now" He said to himself "There is the kitchen, and then there is the dining room.Ah, and here is my cabin. Most generously situated if I do say myself.Oh, there is a pool on board though perhaps a little early in the day at current. And a badminton court, Ah that brings back memories. Still I think I shall go on a short walk along before the ship leaves. In order that I may absorb some of the harbour air.
And with that he took the glasses off his nose and placed them on the bedside table and strolled off in search of the main deck.
*****
Mr. Game & Watch was slightly lost. He too was on his way to the ship however his planning was not as great as that of DK's. He was now going down a dark alleyway in the complete wrong direction. Out of the gloom came an assorted gang of punks and gang members they glared at game and watch evilly.
"Wot 'ave we got ere then" said one of them who seemed to be the leader.
"Bleep" said Mr. G&W in a state of horror.
"Eh! Look Eddie ee's only got two sides.
"Er." said G&W nervously "could one of you please tell me the way to the number 7 dock"
"Not on your life flatty" Said the punk known as Eddie.
"Bleep" said Mr game and watch in an objective tone.
"Wot does 'ee keep bleepin' for" said a leather clad individual.
"Bleep" said Game and Watch again.
" 'Oo cares lets get 'im" said Eddie
"Oi wants to see what's in them flat little pockets of 'is" said a skinhead drawing out a knife.
Mr Game and Watch fled for his life down the narrow alley with shouts of rage following him. However as he burst out into the sunlight of dock 7 he heard one of the gang members shout after him:
"See you on board" and then some assorted laughs.
Mr G&W quickly gave his ticket to the sailor who really was having and interesting day and then left him muttering about apes and now flat men. After he had been to his cabin to put away his things he came out on deck relieved that nothing had happened and the ship was just about to leave as the leaving whistle came he saw a small group of figures which he recognised. There were 5 of them. It was five members of the group which had attacked him in the alley and they were all boarding the ship.
"Bleep!" squeaked G&W leaping under the tarpaulin of a nearby lifeboat.
*****
Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy strolled merrily down the deck of the ship he was having a fine time. Having procured a bottle of the 88' burgundy from the duty free shop he chortled merrily as he sauntered along the gangways. Chortling at past experiences that flashed into his mind. However the wine was making him slightly light headed and he needed a place to sit down for a while. He spotted a vacant deck chair by a lifeboat and sat down on it with his legs crossed and proceeded to read 'War and Peace' while taking occasional sips of wine. However in mid-read he thought he heard a sound issuing from the lifeboat. He listened closely however nothing else came.
"No, no I must have been mistaken" said DK.
He continued to read however his peace was interrupted by another sound coming from the same place. He placed an ear to the side of the lifeboat and listened with close attention. From the lifeboat slowly issued a collection of bleeps, whirs and clicks. DK stared at the bottle of wine in horror. He took it very gingerly between two fingers and tossed it over the side. Before plunging his head into a bucket of water which happened to be nearby before remarking:
"Egad! That was strong stuff, I almost thought I heard." He trailed off into silence as bleeps continued to come from the lifeboat. Very, very slowly he approached the lifeboat and then after the bleeps started again flung open the lid, to see a well known figure to him cowering inside.
"Gerald?" he said addressing the 2D man by his correct first name.
"Donkey ?" said G&W addressing the ape man by his incorrect first name.
"Enough of the Donkey" said DK "call me Denver or at least DK"
"Sorry DK" came the apologetic reply "What are you doing here.
"Going home" Said the great ape "But more importantly, what are you doing trapped inside a lifeboat?"
"I was not trapped," replied you know who "I was hiding"
"From whom?" said DK curiously. "Some people who attacked me in an alley and are now on the ship"
"Whom, Game and Watch, whom"
"What?"
"You mean pardon, I was referring to the fact that you used the wrong word in your sentence"
"Fine then: Some people whom attacked me in an alley and are now on the ship, is that better?"
"Yes, now you come along with me I'll keep you safe, after all I owe you a favour"
"Oh, really why?" said G&W trying to remember why.
"You got me into my first games, Mario and Donkey Kong" Said Great gorilla shuddering as he said his fake name.
"Ah, yes happy memories, still your sure?" said game and watch feeling safer already.
"Quite so my good chum, come on off we go!"
"Yes, off we go" said game and watch forgetting the lurking thieves whom a few minutes ago he had been cowering in a life boat from.
And so off they went chatting about old times and laughing uproariously at previous happenings. Disturbing other travellers with their presence.
"And then there was the time," Said game and watch "When you tried to throw a barrel at Mario and when he tried to jump over it he hit his head on the ceiling and passed out!"
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" laughed DK uproariously.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughed G&W more uproariously.
"I still think that the old games were funnier" said DK humorously.
"Yes do you remember the time whe-" game and watch stopped dead as saw rounding the corner the gang with 'Eddie' at their head. The colour drained from him but since black is not a colour, its a shade he remained exactly the same. DK continued to stride forwards with eyes closed reminiscing about the past unaware of the danger.
"Look out Denver!" shouted Mr Game and Watch. As one of the men swung a knife at DK. Brought back to reality by use of his real name DK rolled backwards and the Knife slashed at thin air. "Well, Well, Well" said Eddie "Look wot we got 'ere"
Game and watch clicked nervously and DK grunted in his rage.
"Not only have we found our lost companion" continued Eddie "But also we've found us a nice monkey fur coat"
DK was raring to go, G&W was not.
"All right lads get em" shouted Eddie to his companions.
The Rogues leaped forwards knives drawn, None however leaped as quickly as Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy who charged in scattering them like bowling pins.
DK was having the time of his life beating up enemies he felt like he was back in one of the NES games.
"Time to se if the old tactic still works." He shouted to G&W picking up a handy barrel and flinging it at his foes. It apparently still did it squashed two of the goons flat.
"Hoo, Hoo" wailed DK beating his chest.
He flung his umbrella at another one of the attackers knocking him through the kitchen wall and into a vat of soup. Now only two remained, Eddie and the black leather clad individual whom had spoken to game and watch in the alley.
As DK stared at the man struggling o get the soup vat off his head he heard a click from behind him.
"Not so fast monkey man" said the leather clad individual in a typically English supervillan voice raising the gun to point at DK's spine. "Grab him Eddie" For one of the first times in his life Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy did not know what to do. "Now," said Eddie raising his knife to DK's throat" It's time to have some fun."
*****
Something inside Mr Game and Watch snapped. He could not bear to see his friend being tormented like this. He grabbed a ship's rope and using it as a whip flung one end of it towards the English man's gun hand. The force of the blow was so powerful that it not only smashed the gun out of the mans hand but also wrapped itself round his wrist. Showing quick reactions Mr G&W who was practically glowing with fury and energy ran round the man until he was well and truly wound in the rope. Then He leaped upon the disarmed man and proceeded to pummel him until the man became unconscious.
***** At the moment DK saw Mr G&W disarm the gunman he smashed Eddie in the chest, He sailed away, over the side of the ship and at around 100m from the ship when he submerged into the water. Mr G&W had calmed down and he and DK high-fived, or in DK's case low fived as G&W was so much smaller than him.
*****
On the dock on the other side of the crossing. The gunman was deposited at the Police Station. Where it was revealed that the gunman's face was not his own he was wearing a mask! As the police peeled off the mask DK gave a gasp of recognition.
"Jinkies!" He said in an unusually high pitched voice "Its the harbour master"
"No it's not" Said a Police Man "It's the dreaded gangster Al Dappone! He was trying to steal the empress of Marocco's diamonds which were on board"
"That's right" Said the criminal "And I would have got away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"
As DK and G&W left the station they were happy save for one thing.
"Why did he call us kids?" Said the 2D man
I don't know, I suppose he was mad" said his monkey companion.
"Maybe" said the little black guy
"There's something in my umbrella Game and Watch. Is it yours?" said DK
"Shouldn't think so" replied G&W curiously.
"Well it has your name on it" said DK yet more curiously.
"Oh" said you know who at his most curious
It turned out to be a letter?, no two letters?
Game and watch took his letter two dimensionally, he read it two dimensionally, he looked up two dimensionally.
DK took out his paper knife and slit the top of the letter carefully, then with his reading glasses on his nose he read the letter carefully.
"Hmm" said the friends together.
*****
There is no author, or Marth, or Scarecrow present at current only a curtain which now begins to open. A well known figure steps out clutching his plush bear 'Woogles' He looks around to check no one is present and then points at the camera.
"Show me your moves" said you know very well who
"That's it come here falcon" screamed the author who appeared out of nowhere with his companions.
"Eek" squeaked C. Falcon like an anime schoolgirl running away.
The author chased him around and out of the theatre, Marth followed
"Leave some for me," he shouted after them "I hate him as much as you"
He also runs off.
Only the scarecrow is left. He looks round to check no one is present then says:
'This time I am not going to say Soulsss. I can talk you know. So since everyone else is gone I will give the ending sequence. That is the end of all the characters There will be no more letters save one and that will be the letter to you which will arrive next chapter. Therefore next chapter will be quite short. So this chapter is done how did you like it. Was it good? Bad? Please tell me (Or the author) if you read and review which I hope you will do. Also if you have any ideas for a future plot line, then send them to me (or the author)and we will try to include them. Flames will be used for lighting my artillery batteries to open fire on French dragoons. So now I leave you with the merry thought that C. Falcon is being pursued by the author and Marth and will probably not escape without injury, and also the fact that there will be no more "Hmm"s coming to your eyes. After your letter the story really begins. Oh .and.Soulllssssss.
.
Fox: On a plane with Falco they have an argument about game point scores and end up stunning the plane's captain. Fox then bravely saves the plane by taking over the controls. When the plane lands he is hailed like a hero. Finds the letter in his gun holster.
Falco: On a plane with Fox they have an argument about game point scores and end up stunning the plane's captain. Falco assists fox to fly the plane to the destination. When the plane lands he is also hailed like a hero. Finds the letter in his gun holster.
Dr. Mario: In his surgery mistakes a gunman for a patient and prepares to perform surgery on him. At the last moment the plane piloted by Fox hits part of the building but the gunman escapes leaving behind a bag of valuables. Dr. M takes these as payment and finds a letter under the bag.
Marth: In the upper class are of the plane with Roy. Hiding from his fan- girls who he is convinced will murder him. He nearly dies of shock several times during the flight and leaves the plane trembling. Finds the letter in his passport. And opens it with trembling fingers.
Roy: In the upper class are of the plane with Marth. Attempting to help the paranoid prince that he is not going to die. Also nearly dies of shock several times during the flight. However once off the plane quickly recovers. Finds the letter in his passport.
C. Falcon: the less said the better.
And now, Ladies and gentlemen, Lets get ready to rumble! ("really author you have as much humour in you as a peeled balloon" explain? "a peeled balloon is nothing therefore you have no humour in you." Lovely well anyway,) OK lets go!
'Soulssss'
"What was that?"
Oh, don't worry, it's just the demon scarecrow whom we were given by the company to help us think up more plot lines. Apparently he is exceptionally intelligent and grammatically correct. However at current he's not much help as he only seems to know one word.
'Soulsss'
"I see, anyway."
Yes anyway on with the story:
'Soulsss!'
This chapter is dedicated to Airshi, defender of yoshi isla for helping me to think up the whole first half.
*****
In the midst of space a large planet was exploding. This was nothing unusual in the midst of space, I mean, once you've seen one planet exploding you've seen them all. Still out of the blazing inferno which was once a planet (the rocks formerly known as planet) came a small ship which looked very looked rather decayed and burned. It was a small insect-like ship. Inside it a robot encased woman was fighting her way to the control panel. Samus.
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Splarge" said a yet more unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Splarge" said the most unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Alas, as time passes my body will deteriorate, as now I am dead" said a well educated unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Splurge" said a rebellious unusual looking alien as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien who was not with the pattern of events as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
And many more unusual phrases came from the lips (do aliens have lips? "I don't know how about you scarecrow" 'Soulss' "well that was revealing!") of the aliens whom (grammar) were exploding in fountains of goo. The bionic warioress Eventually reached the front end of the ship where for some unknown reason the monsters were more difficult as they always are in metroid games when you near your goal. Eventually she reached the control room where a swarm of metroids were lurking in the shadows to ambush her. However metroids, however transparent are not very good at hiding They stood out like a Tarantula on a plate. The gun was being charged. Seeing this the metroids either fled or charged. Most fled. When the ones which charged reached her the gun had already gone off.
"Splarglghtlempoddemplefrop" said most of the metroids as they were incinerated by the blast.
"Splarglghtlempoddemplefrod" said the rest of the metroids as they were incinerated by the blast.
"Splarge" said an unusual looking alien who was there for no apparent reason as it exploded in a fountain of goo.
Samus wiped burned metroids and unusual looking alien goo from her visor as she typed I the co-ordinates of her home planet into the computer with tapping sound effects.
"Welcome" said the computer "You've got mail"
Samus did not care that she had mail, nor that the computer was Windows. Nor that the Internet seemed to be AOL. She typed in the co-ordinates irritably. Soon the little ship was heading towards a distant planet. She didn't notice that in the shadows there lurked a single metroid which had not been caught in the blast. This was a specially bred metroid which could blend into shadows. It was a shadow metroid. The robotic warrior was intently staring out of the window into the galaxy. Suddenly out of nowhere came the three main characters of pokémon and time stopped save on the three characters.
"Woah" said Ash in his gritty voice "where are we?"
"What's that thing?" said misty pointing at the metroid "d'ya suppose its a water pokémon?"
"Nah, It's gotta be a fire pokémon" said Ash idiotically, Ill try out Dexter on it"
*bleep*
This is not a pokémon. This is a metroid from no current game. It has been trained by the finest ninja masters from all over the world. And as a result can blend into the shadows and can kill in a blow. The most dangerous creature known to mankind and any other kind.
"So its a fire pokémon" said Ash yet more foolishly.
"Er." said Misty, "What do you think Brock?"
But Brock was staring at Samus, somehow he knew that inside that adamantine shell there was a body as.
suddenly the whole party vanished and time regained its flow. The metroid slowly moved towards Samus its claws arced upwards in an attack designed to kill at a blow, now the claws were falling towards the unprotected head.
*****
Elsewhere on a small island a number of medium sized dinosaurs were strutting around as if they owned the place, which they did, but that's not the point. There appeared to be some sort of special ceremony going on as there was a small clearing infested with the creatures and with many long houses made out of palm leaves. The dinosaurs were rushing about in a frenzied state carrying fruit around and repeatedly bumping into each other, except five which were seated in one of the long houses with mountains of food piled on great plates in front of them. By now you have probably realised that these creatures were Yoshis. If you have not you are either rather foolish or should not be reading this story.
The five Yoshis were all of different colours; There was a blue Yoshi, a red Yoshi, a green Yoshi, a yellow Yoshi, and a black and white with pink spotted Yoshi. There was an equal amount of food on each plate. And the Yoshis appeared raring to go.
"Yoshi, Yoshi Yosh?" said one.
"Yoshi Yo." Said a second in reply.
"Yoshi Yo-" one began, then time again stopped.
A large galaxy shrunk and began to swirl in the room then a hole appeared in the centre and out of it cane a cloaked figure, Yes the author had returned.
"Um, I assume that no one here can speak or understand Yosheic therefore I'm just going to leave this little translator here where all the action is."
He placed a small box in the corner of the room and then vanished in a swirl of stars and time returned to normal.
"-gree completely with your statement" continued the Yoshi, who had been interrupted by the halt in the passage of time.
"What do you think Red?" Said another Yoshi
"Well." said the red Yoshi
A much smaller Yoshi burst in an announced in a loud voice:
"The contest is about to begin, please take up your positions!"
The select Yoshis took up assorted positions near their plates of food. The excitement outside was so intensely intense that it was depressive. ("Is that possible?" I assume so. "Oh, o.k. continue, sirrah" 'Soulsss' "Silence worm") The Yoshis leaped up and down and made bets on the contest.
Inside the countdown had begun:
"Five" said the small Yoshi
"four.three.two.one"
The Yoshis moved towards the food.
"Let the feasting begin" screamed the small Yoshi.
*****
At the last moment an asteroid collided with the side of the ship sending it off balance. With an audible shriek the assassin metroid was flung to one side with a sickening crunch as it collided with the wall. Upon hearing this Samus whirled round and fired a missile at the are from where the sounds came. As the missile hit the assassin metroid it uttered its last shriek and then exploded into a smouldering heap. Smoking slightly. It bubbled and then evaporated. However this was the least of Samus' current worries. The meteor had smashed off the whole of the right wing and without it the ship was helpless.
"Damn," thought Samus "Just after I'd waxed it"
The ship began it's slow spiralling decent towards a distant planet which was looming slowly nearer as the ship descended. The planet seemed unusually bright coloured. Samus stared at it in amazement, it really was brightly coloured.
Luckily the anti-gravity boosters were still functioning properly and Samus managed to slow the descent to the planet. The ship was now entering The planet's cloud layer. As it streaked through the clouds trails of vapour fled off the sides of the ship. Samus looked sideways and saw that the sun was smiling at her. She screamed and went away from the window. "3 seconds to impact" said onboard computer. "For more information on windows products please visit the web site at 'www.wi-'"
BOOM
The ship hit the ground at seventy mph and rolled over on its' side. Samus had some difficulty disentangling herself from the wreckage however eventually escaped after a while and stared around at the strange alien world.
*****
"And the winner is Yellow Yoshi" wailed the small Yoshi
"Second place to Green Yoshi" he said in a megaphone voice
"And third place is to B&W with pink spotted Yoshi" he screamed his voice giving out on him.
The inhabitants of Yoshi island wailed their response in happiness or irritation. And then the shaking of hands and patting of backs started. When Green Yoshi managed to tear himself away from the proceedings to go back home his stomach felt slightly odd. Maybe it was all that food he had consumed. He needed something to help him digest his meal. Maybe he would find something on the way home.
"A good day all in all" he thought to himself
("How come we can still hear him?"
He swallowed the translator as he thought it was a beverage "Oh, right continue then" 'Soulssssss')
"But I do need a thing to help me digest" he said out loud.
*****
Samus was amazed by her surroundings .Everything was in vibrant colour. And the sun was shining brightly. She had got used to it's face by now. Suddenly out of the corner of her eye she saw something move, it looked reptilian, she readied herself for combat.
*****
Yoshi rounded a corner on the dust road to home and saw something unusual. There was a large metal thing like an insect and in front of it a metal figure which was certainly not a Yoshi. From his point of view it looked just the thing to cure his indigestion. He ran towards it.
"Yoshi" he said.
The metal figure obviously had misjudged his range as did not attack. Yoshi stuck out his long tongue and wrapped it round the thing's waist. He, despite it's struggles dragged it into his cavernous belly. However it had so many pointy edges it made Yoshi's stomach hurt even more. He decided to get rid of it by changing it into an egg. He laid the egg and went on his way fed up. But then realised that the pain in his stomach had gone. He danced away happily. Singing:
"Yoshi, Yoshi. Yoshi? Yoshi!"
*****
Samus was extremely humiliated. She was trapped inside an egg. And what was worse she had been entrapped by a not very strong looking creature and what was most humiliating of all she could not get out of the egg. After rolling around for a while she decided that the only thing left to do was to shoot her way out. She charged up a fully powered shot and fired it an the wall. Not a scratch was made. Then she decided to lay a bomb. It exploded. The shell broke at last. Happily she scrambled to her feet and jumped up and down on the shell which was formerly known as her prison.
However floating in the yolk was a small neat letter. She decided to be careful after all if a small dinosaur was that dangerous then the letter could be her doom. She leant it up against a tree and stood well back. Then fired a large ball of energy at it neatly shearing off the top.
After a period of time had elapsed she went cautiously towards the letter and envelope. She took out the letter and read it at arms length. After a deal of time she made up her mind.
"Hmm" was her decision.
*****
Yoshi arrived at his house and plucked a watermelon from his garden. After all that walking he was hungry. He went inside to eat it . However! When he split it open there was no soft flesh to bite into. There was nothing. Save a letter. Yoshi was horror-struck! Where was the melon? Maybe the letter would give him some clue as to it's whereabouts. He read the letter carefully to make sure there was nothing about the melon that he had missed. Since there was nothing about melons in the letter he ate it instead and as it went down his gullet he said to the world in general.
"Yoshi?".
*****
Donkey Kong or as he was more commonly known as DK strolled leisurely towards the ferry. Being a sensible person he had given himself plenty of time to reach his destination but not too much so that he would have to wait around. In fact it was not a commonly known fact about DK but he was one of the more intelligent of the super smash brothers team. Not the unintelligent ape was Donkey Kong. And oh how he hated that name. His true name was Denver Kanokworthy. Or in full Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy. His name had been shortened to DK, which he did not mind but when he was compared to a mule it was more than what his nerves could stand. As he strolled along the dock he whistled to himself quietly swinging his umbrella in his hands. He raised his bowler hat to several sea going families who either waved back of gave him glances of surprise. Denver Kanokworthy did not mind he merely continued his leisurely saunter down the road to the ship which he was boarding. As he approached the ship he waved at the harbour master who was just coming out of his office. He quickly ran back inside. Denver handed his ticket to the sailor who was on duty. Who looked rather aghast at him and then remembering his manners said
"Thank you sir"
"Not at all, it is you whom I must thank for being so amiable" replied the ape, the model of rectitude and politeness, as he strolled inside the steel vessel.
In his cabin DK placed his neatly folded clothes in the drawer and took out of one of the cupboards, the ships map. He perched his reading glasses carefully on his nose. And began to read.
"Let me see now" He said to himself "There is the kitchen, and then there is the dining room.Ah, and here is my cabin. Most generously situated if I do say myself.Oh, there is a pool on board though perhaps a little early in the day at current. And a badminton court, Ah that brings back memories. Still I think I shall go on a short walk along before the ship leaves. In order that I may absorb some of the harbour air.
And with that he took the glasses off his nose and placed them on the bedside table and strolled off in search of the main deck.
*****
Mr. Game & Watch was slightly lost. He too was on his way to the ship however his planning was not as great as that of DK's. He was now going down a dark alleyway in the complete wrong direction. Out of the gloom came an assorted gang of punks and gang members they glared at game and watch evilly.
"Wot 'ave we got ere then" said one of them who seemed to be the leader.
"Bleep" said Mr. G&W in a state of horror.
"Eh! Look Eddie ee's only got two sides.
"Er." said G&W nervously "could one of you please tell me the way to the number 7 dock"
"Not on your life flatty" Said the punk known as Eddie.
"Bleep" said Mr game and watch in an objective tone.
"Wot does 'ee keep bleepin' for" said a leather clad individual.
"Bleep" said Game and Watch again.
" 'Oo cares lets get 'im" said Eddie
"Oi wants to see what's in them flat little pockets of 'is" said a skinhead drawing out a knife.
Mr Game and Watch fled for his life down the narrow alley with shouts of rage following him. However as he burst out into the sunlight of dock 7 he heard one of the gang members shout after him:
"See you on board" and then some assorted laughs.
Mr G&W quickly gave his ticket to the sailor who really was having and interesting day and then left him muttering about apes and now flat men. After he had been to his cabin to put away his things he came out on deck relieved that nothing had happened and the ship was just about to leave as the leaving whistle came he saw a small group of figures which he recognised. There were 5 of them. It was five members of the group which had attacked him in the alley and they were all boarding the ship.
"Bleep!" squeaked G&W leaping under the tarpaulin of a nearby lifeboat.
*****
Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy strolled merrily down the deck of the ship he was having a fine time. Having procured a bottle of the 88' burgundy from the duty free shop he chortled merrily as he sauntered along the gangways. Chortling at past experiences that flashed into his mind. However the wine was making him slightly light headed and he needed a place to sit down for a while. He spotted a vacant deck chair by a lifeboat and sat down on it with his legs crossed and proceeded to read 'War and Peace' while taking occasional sips of wine. However in mid-read he thought he heard a sound issuing from the lifeboat. He listened closely however nothing else came.
"No, no I must have been mistaken" said DK.
He continued to read however his peace was interrupted by another sound coming from the same place. He placed an ear to the side of the lifeboat and listened with close attention. From the lifeboat slowly issued a collection of bleeps, whirs and clicks. DK stared at the bottle of wine in horror. He took it very gingerly between two fingers and tossed it over the side. Before plunging his head into a bucket of water which happened to be nearby before remarking:
"Egad! That was strong stuff, I almost thought I heard." He trailed off into silence as bleeps continued to come from the lifeboat. Very, very slowly he approached the lifeboat and then after the bleeps started again flung open the lid, to see a well known figure to him cowering inside.
"Gerald?" he said addressing the 2D man by his correct first name.
"Donkey ?" said G&W addressing the ape man by his incorrect first name.
"Enough of the Donkey" said DK "call me Denver or at least DK"
"Sorry DK" came the apologetic reply "What are you doing here.
"Going home" Said the great ape "But more importantly, what are you doing trapped inside a lifeboat?"
"I was not trapped," replied you know who "I was hiding"
"From whom?" said DK curiously. "Some people who attacked me in an alley and are now on the ship"
"Whom, Game and Watch, whom"
"What?"
"You mean pardon, I was referring to the fact that you used the wrong word in your sentence"
"Fine then: Some people whom attacked me in an alley and are now on the ship, is that better?"
"Yes, now you come along with me I'll keep you safe, after all I owe you a favour"
"Oh, really why?" said G&W trying to remember why.
"You got me into my first games, Mario and Donkey Kong" Said Great gorilla shuddering as he said his fake name.
"Ah, yes happy memories, still your sure?" said game and watch feeling safer already.
"Quite so my good chum, come on off we go!"
"Yes, off we go" said game and watch forgetting the lurking thieves whom a few minutes ago he had been cowering in a life boat from.
And so off they went chatting about old times and laughing uproariously at previous happenings. Disturbing other travellers with their presence.
"And then there was the time," Said game and watch "When you tried to throw a barrel at Mario and when he tried to jump over it he hit his head on the ceiling and passed out!"
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" laughed DK uproariously.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughed G&W more uproariously.
"I still think that the old games were funnier" said DK humorously.
"Yes do you remember the time whe-" game and watch stopped dead as saw rounding the corner the gang with 'Eddie' at their head. The colour drained from him but since black is not a colour, its a shade he remained exactly the same. DK continued to stride forwards with eyes closed reminiscing about the past unaware of the danger.
"Look out Denver!" shouted Mr Game and Watch. As one of the men swung a knife at DK. Brought back to reality by use of his real name DK rolled backwards and the Knife slashed at thin air. "Well, Well, Well" said Eddie "Look wot we got 'ere"
Game and watch clicked nervously and DK grunted in his rage.
"Not only have we found our lost companion" continued Eddie "But also we've found us a nice monkey fur coat"
DK was raring to go, G&W was not.
"All right lads get em" shouted Eddie to his companions.
The Rogues leaped forwards knives drawn, None however leaped as quickly as Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy who charged in scattering them like bowling pins.
DK was having the time of his life beating up enemies he felt like he was back in one of the NES games.
"Time to se if the old tactic still works." He shouted to G&W picking up a handy barrel and flinging it at his foes. It apparently still did it squashed two of the goons flat.
"Hoo, Hoo" wailed DK beating his chest.
He flung his umbrella at another one of the attackers knocking him through the kitchen wall and into a vat of soup. Now only two remained, Eddie and the black leather clad individual whom had spoken to game and watch in the alley.
As DK stared at the man struggling o get the soup vat off his head he heard a click from behind him.
"Not so fast monkey man" said the leather clad individual in a typically English supervillan voice raising the gun to point at DK's spine. "Grab him Eddie" For one of the first times in his life Denver Hubert Transgofski Kanokworthy did not know what to do. "Now," said Eddie raising his knife to DK's throat" It's time to have some fun."
*****
Something inside Mr Game and Watch snapped. He could not bear to see his friend being tormented like this. He grabbed a ship's rope and using it as a whip flung one end of it towards the English man's gun hand. The force of the blow was so powerful that it not only smashed the gun out of the mans hand but also wrapped itself round his wrist. Showing quick reactions Mr G&W who was practically glowing with fury and energy ran round the man until he was well and truly wound in the rope. Then He leaped upon the disarmed man and proceeded to pummel him until the man became unconscious.
***** At the moment DK saw Mr G&W disarm the gunman he smashed Eddie in the chest, He sailed away, over the side of the ship and at around 100m from the ship when he submerged into the water. Mr G&W had calmed down and he and DK high-fived, or in DK's case low fived as G&W was so much smaller than him.
*****
On the dock on the other side of the crossing. The gunman was deposited at the Police Station. Where it was revealed that the gunman's face was not his own he was wearing a mask! As the police peeled off the mask DK gave a gasp of recognition.
"Jinkies!" He said in an unusually high pitched voice "Its the harbour master"
"No it's not" Said a Police Man "It's the dreaded gangster Al Dappone! He was trying to steal the empress of Marocco's diamonds which were on board"
"That's right" Said the criminal "And I would have got away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"
As DK and G&W left the station they were happy save for one thing.
"Why did he call us kids?" Said the 2D man
I don't know, I suppose he was mad" said his monkey companion.
"Maybe" said the little black guy
"There's something in my umbrella Game and Watch. Is it yours?" said DK
"Shouldn't think so" replied G&W curiously.
"Well it has your name on it" said DK yet more curiously.
"Oh" said you know who at his most curious
It turned out to be a letter?, no two letters?
Game and watch took his letter two dimensionally, he read it two dimensionally, he looked up two dimensionally.
DK took out his paper knife and slit the top of the letter carefully, then with his reading glasses on his nose he read the letter carefully.
"Hmm" said the friends together.
*****
There is no author, or Marth, or Scarecrow present at current only a curtain which now begins to open. A well known figure steps out clutching his plush bear 'Woogles' He looks around to check no one is present and then points at the camera.
"Show me your moves" said you know very well who
"That's it come here falcon" screamed the author who appeared out of nowhere with his companions.
"Eek" squeaked C. Falcon like an anime schoolgirl running away.
The author chased him around and out of the theatre, Marth followed
"Leave some for me," he shouted after them "I hate him as much as you"
He also runs off.
Only the scarecrow is left. He looks round to check no one is present then says:
'This time I am not going to say Soulsss. I can talk you know. So since everyone else is gone I will give the ending sequence. That is the end of all the characters There will be no more letters save one and that will be the letter to you which will arrive next chapter. Therefore next chapter will be quite short. So this chapter is done how did you like it. Was it good? Bad? Please tell me (Or the author) if you read and review which I hope you will do. Also if you have any ideas for a future plot line, then send them to me (or the author)and we will try to include them. Flames will be used for lighting my artillery batteries to open fire on French dragoons. So now I leave you with the merry thought that C. Falcon is being pursued by the author and Marth and will probably not escape without injury, and also the fact that there will be no more "Hmm"s coming to your eyes. After your letter the story really begins. Oh .and.Soulllssssss.
.