*BACKSTAGE*

Verie: BWEE! Guess what! ^_^
Schu: You got a haircut.
Verie: .... -.-; Damned telepath.
Schu: ha ha ^_^
Omi: .. Your hair looks exactly the same... o.O;
Verie: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?! IT'S DIFFERENT! DIFFERENT DAMNIT!
Ken: ... Nope, nothin' different.
Verie: ~twitch~ Brad would notice it's different.
Schu: No, he wouldn't. Trust me. I could get my hair cut like Farfie's and he wouldn't notice.
Verie: ... .... ...
Farfie: .... dots hurt God.
Schu: No. They don't.
Farf: Do.
Schu: Don't.
Farf: do.
Schu: don't.
Verie: -.-; just stop before this gets out of hand. *CERTAIN* people keep yelling at me whenever I write arguments in my fics. They get too long.
Schu: don't.
Verie: ~death glare~ Don't make me make you cross dress.
Schu: o.o;
Shinigami: Leave Schu alone.
Schu: jah!
Verie: ... STOP GANGING UP ON MEEEE! ~sob~ .. and stuff.
Others: -.-;
Blue-Censor-Dot: ~floats there~
Narrator: When are we starting? If we don't start soon, I'm charging over-time.
Schu: Why is it the dot and the narrator are the only peopel who get over-time?
Verie: ... ... I don't know. They just do. ... The Narrator because I can't force it to be here.
Narrator: .. Don't call me an "it"
Verie: ... .. they.
Narrator: .. wtf? o.o;
Verie: .. I really have no idea... BUT IT GOT MY HAIR CUT. And that's FINAL.
Schu: Brad-wannabe. Your bangs aren't long enough, though.
Verie: >.; leave my bangs alone. And they WILL be long enough. SOMEDAY. ~cackles evilly~
Yohji: .. Brad better watch out. Soon she'll be wearing a cream suit and everything.
Verie: ... ~sniffle~ I almost got one.. once... it's on my to-do list. Right now I have a tacky suit the color of Schu's coat-
Schu: hey! -.-;
Verie: and a tan suit.. a blue suit jacket like the one Brad has in the shitajiki, and a pin-striped suit jacket. ^_^
Ken: ... you officially creep me out.
Verie: -.-; Leave me alone. Suits rock. You're a fashion victim.
Ken: Not as much as Omi or Yohji.
Omi&Yohji: HEY!
Verie: good point.
Omi&Yohji: -.-;
Narrator: I'm officially charging over-time.
Verie: OK, OK! >.; eesh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brad grumbled irritably. "They're late." He mumbled. "I'm not surprised." Nagi replied. "I hate this." Brad grumbled, again. "You've mentioned that. Various times within the past fifteen minutes. And where did Schu go?" Nagi asked, looking around. "Offstage, no doubt. He mentioned something about pocky." Brad said. "... Pocky?" Nagi whimpered. "... You join them, and I'll kill you when we get out of this." Brad glared. "If you'd cooperate, I'm sure they'd let you go." Nagi said. "NEVER! NEVER WILL I REDUCE MYSELF TO SUCH INDIGNITY WILLING!" Brad exclaimed, dramatically jumping onto a rock. ".. Brad, stop being dramatic and leave the rock alone." Verie said, some-what entertained by this. Brad grumbled and jumped down. "You're LATE." He glared. "Nah, I'm just early for the next chapter." Verie said. ".. That made no sense." Nagi stated. "... .... .... Shut up." Verie mumbled. "Ha. You admit it." Nagi said. "Leave me alone! And Brad! Guess what!" Verie exclaimed happily. "What?" Brad asked irritably. "Guueeeess." "You're annoying." Brad glared. "We already knew that, so guess again." Verie replied. Brad glared at her for fifteen minutes. "For deity deleted to protect the religous's sake, Crawford. She got a haircut." Nagi said. "Naagii!!! You weren't supposed to tell him!" Verie whined. "I got tired of sitting here. If we waited for him to figure it out, we'd be here for decades." Nagi said. "We would not." Brad said irritably. "And it's not my fault I didn't notice. Your hair looks no different." Brad said. "IT DOES TOO! WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT?!" Verie whined. "Because it doesn't." Brad stated. "... ... You're all evil." Verie glared. "Thank you. I try." Brad said. "... ... I'd hate you if you weren't so cool." Verie sighed. Brad arched an eyebrow. "That-" "MADE NO SENSE! I KNOW!" Verie sobbed. "... Ok, that's it. So we're beginning right? So we have to move?" Brad asked. "... Jah. So move. Start.. traveling. In fact, we can all sing-" With that, Crawford and Nagi were long gone. "... I foresaw that." Verie said stupidly. ".. Leave me alone. Or I'll fire you." Verie glared, despite the fact that I'm the only narrator that will work for her because she's brutally maimed all her others. "... ... I hate narrators..." Verie grumbled, and walked offstage.

And thus, our heroes traveled. And traveled. And stuff. And then, they arrived at a kingdom!

"Brad, son, you're late!" A guy who looked suspiciously like Yohji exclaimed. Brad's eyes widened. "Did you just... call me... son?" He asked in horror. ".. It's not my fault, the script called for it. Really." Yohji explained. Brad looked positively terrified. "Now, my boy! Now we're off to see Princess Omette!" Yohji exclaimed happily, putting his arm around Brad and dragging him off. "DON'T TOUCH ME! I REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN THIS!" Brad screamed, Nagi hung back, hoping he wouldn't be cast as anything. Meanwhile, Schu randomly ran on-stage and malleted Brad, knocking him unconscious so that Yohji could drag him off to the next scene.

And so, Princess Omette and Prince Bradley hated each other. ... Literally. Brad really hated Omi, but since that's actually the plot here, it's ok! Yay for Bradley! "Shut. The. Censored. Up." Brad glared. .. Fine, we'll get on with things. Anyhow, so Brad and Omette were running around fighting while Yohji and Manx sang like idiots. "Bradley's quite a caaatch!" This is my idea-" "This is MY idea." "OF A MATCH." "FOR THE LOVE OF DEITY DELETED STOP SINGING!! YOU'RE ADVANCING THE PLOT! AND WORSE, NEITHER OF YOU CAN SING!!!! AND MANX, YOU'RE WORSE THAN SCHULDICH! AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING!!" Brad yelled. "Bradley, you're supposed to be getting 'along' with Omette." Yohji said. "I REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN THIS! I HATE YOU ALL! .. And did those peasants just sing something about lowering taxes?" Brad glared. "Why yes, yes they DID. Because the song's been going on while you've been griping and now I've missed my parts!" Yohji whined, despite the fact the entire thing was a tape playing somewhere... and I can't say where because I can already tell Brad is looking for it to crush it. "Do you really BLAME me?!" Brad demanded. No, I don't, but still. I'm getting paid for this, so stop messing it up. Brad grumbled and threw a stick at Omette. "Very mature, Crawford." Omette said. "... Shut up." Brad mumbled.

Supposedly a couple years later, which is only a couple minutes , Brad and Omette were supposedly a lot older. .. But really only a couple minutes older. "A couple minutes that I could have spent doing something much more productive." Brad glared. And you're not allowed to talk during my narrative. ".. I don't care." Brad grumbled, throwing down his cards on the table. "Omette won again. And why am I cast as the stupid friend?" Nagi asked. Omette grinned. "Oh shut up." Brad glared, picking up a random card and throwing it at Omette. You see, they were playing cards, which really holds no purpose except it's part of the song that they DIDN'T sing. "... I refuse to sing such idiocy." Brad said bluntly. So the scene fast forwarded again.

Brad and Omette are shoved into a room. "I hate you." Brad glared. "Ditto." Omette said. "YOU TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE EACH OTHER IN THIS SCENE! Because you're older and stupider now!" Yohji yelled from offstage. "I REFUSE TO FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!" Brad screeched. "Fine. Narrator, fast forward to when they're supposed to get married." Verie said, magically appearing. Brad screamed some more. And then, magically they were in a ball room.

"So what do you love about me?" Omi asked unhappily, because he's a bad actor. "I DON'T LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU! H-A-T-E. INFACT, I *LOATHE* YOU!!!" Brad exclaimed. Yohji and Manx frowned. "That's not the right line..." Manx mumbled. "It works." Yohji said.

And then a lot of stuff happened, including Nagi losing at chess. "I hate playing chess with Crawford..." Nagi mumbled. Shut up for a second, Nagi. And then Manx got a nice death scene, despite the fact that Verie messed up the casting because she's odd. Anyhow, jah, Manx died, and Omette got a spell cast on her.. him... whatever by the evil Aya. So now he/she turns into a swan and stuff! YEAH! Maulings of Swan Lake hurt deity deleted, yeah! ... ... I've been hanging around these idiots for too long.

And Verie's making us skip over a lot of stuff again because she doesn't trust Nagi with a bow and arrow, while aiming at Brad. .. And apparently she doesn't trust Crawford's ability to catch an arrow either. "I'm offended." Brad muttered. "Braddie, you're not clairvoyant right now. So, no. No archery stuff. It's just useless filler anyway." Verie stated, appearing randomly. "Stop calling me that." Brad glared. "Anyhow, everyone hold on." Verie said, flipping through a bunch of pages on the script. "Useless filler.. Brad refuses to sing... useless singing filler... entrance of Farf and Ken... .. we'll skip that and they can come in later if they're really important. um... hold on...." Verie flipped through some more pages of useless singing. "The Swan Princess is stupid." Brad glared. "We already knew that, Crawford." Nagi stated. "... This movie makes no sense. ... There's more plotholes than Weiss.. and that's saying something." Verie blinked, throwing more useless pages around. "A-HA! Confrontation between Aya and Omette! WEE!" Verie exclaimed, so we fast forward again.

"Marry me, Omette. ... shi-ne, Verie." Aya glared offstage. "You ask the same question every night, and every night I answer no! Oh woe is me! I'd rather die! Blah blah blah!" Omette exclaimed dramatically. Meanwhile, Farf was once again a frog.. now Farf-Bob. And he was joined by Ken, aka Speed the turtle. And.. um... Schu the puffin bird thing. Wee. Anyhow, Omette turned into a swan, Schu pretended to care. "I really don't." Schu said slyly, glancing at Ken. "Speed, eh? I always knew you were on SOMETHING." Schu snickered. "Shut up. I am not on speed." Ken glared. ".. Forget to take your ritalin today, Kenny?" Schu asked.

So the scene switched to Yohji. "Yay! A bunch of fangirls are coming to the ball!" Yohji danced happily. He glared at the letters. "... Crawford shouldn't have this many fangirls..." He glared angrily. "Verie! YOU WROTE ALL OF THESE DIDN'T YOU?!" He yelled offstage. "Well duh, Yohji. Anyhow, it's in representation of fellow Brad fangirls. So HA." Verie answered. "Crawford doesn't have this many fangirls." Yohji glared. "Sure he does." Verie said, walking on stage, picking up one of the thousands of letters. "He does not! I don't even have this many fangirls!" Yohji exclaimed. "With good reason." Verie snickered. "... ... I HAVE MORE FANGIRLS THAN CRAWFORD!" Yohji exclaimed. "... ...Let's just move on to the next scene before I have to avenge Brad." Verie stated. So we fast forward to Brad in the library.

... Brad, you're supposed to be searching through tons of books. Not reading a Stephen King novel! "... Stephen King novels, searching wildly like a moron.. it's all the same in the end." Brad stated, turning the page. "Brad, go pick up that green book over there." Verie said. "No. I'm going to finish the Shining." Brad said. "Bradley." Verie glared. "... No." Brad stated. "Bradley, I'll turn you Chibi Neko!" Verie threatened. Brad twitched. "FINE. But you'd better give me the book when we're done with this." Brad said, throwing the Shining at Verie and walking off to get the green book. "Fine." Verie said, and walked offstage. Brad picked up the book. "I must now go find the whatever animal. ... Animal? Where'd that come from?" He blinked in confusion. ".. I must've missed that part..." Verie blinked, reappearing. ".. Just pretend it makes sense." Verie said, and walked off. "... Right." Brad said, shoving Yohji out of the way before he could say his lines. "HEY! I HAD LINES! YOU CAN'T END THE SCE-"

Meanwhile, Omette, Speed Ken, and.. Schufin, not to forget Farf-Bob, all stole a map. .. With a lot of useless references to... sports. Shudder. Fear. And singing. And Schu, if you don't stop singing, we'll all go deaf. "That's the point." Schufin snickered. .. Let's just fast forward again, shall we? "Gah.. you people go through scenes too quickly!" Verie mumbled, as fluttering of paper could be heard from offstage. "... Oy vey." Ken sighed. "GOT IT!" Verie declared. Peachy.

So Brad and Nagi were out in the woods. With bows and arrows, and if you try anything Nagi, Verie will get angry. And vengeful. Brad arched an eyebrow at Nagi. "What? I wasn't going to try anything! REALLY!" Nagi exclaimed defensively. "... Why do I not believe you?" Brad asked. ".. Because I was lying, but that's not the point." Nagi said, firing off a random arrow to further the plot.

"GAH! AN ARROW!" Shufin exclaimed. "... Wee. Brad. Yay." Omi said, and dove to the trees, because he's a swan. "HEY! BRAD'S MINE!" Schufin exclaimed, diving after him. "Mwaha! I get to shoot Weiss!" Brad exclaimed happily, glad he can have some form of weapon for this chapter. "BRAD! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HIT THEEEM!" Verie yelled from offstage. ".. Whatever." Brad grinned evilly, and ran off to attempt to shoot Omette. Or Shufin. He seemed to be aiming more towards Omette, though. Not that he had any personal reasons for that.. ahem. Brad paused. "What's that supposed to mean?!" Brad demanded. ".. Yaoi implications hurt deity deleted." Shinigami said, appearing on-stage sitting in a tree. Randomly. She then dodged an arrow, laughed evilly, and ran offstage. "I really hate you people." Brad mumbled, walking off to shoot Omette.

So this continued, until finally Schufin decided to play dead. Brad walked over to him and nudge him with his foot, and Schu jumped up and kissed Brad, and flew off cackling. "CENSORED SCHULDICH!!!" Brad yelled, shooting more arrows randomly.

And so, Omette and Shufin successfully lured Brad to the lake. Wee. And so, Omette flew into the water, and unfortunately, the moon was being covered by some clouds. ... Ha. ".. Not cool." Omette twitched, as Brad readied another arrow. Shufin flew at Brad's head. "SCHULDICH!" Brad yelled again. And then the cloud was gone and Omette turned into.. um... a cross dressing princess. Wee. ".. .. I hate you, Schu." Brad glared. "Haha. Poor Braddie. He's gotta go along with the plot some more." Schuldich snickered. ".. I REALLY hate you." Brad mumbled. "Hello? I'm over HERE. Feeling NEGLECTED." Omette said, waving his hands. "Oh shut up." Brad said. ".. Fine. I'll just continue without you. Oh! Oh! It's Aya! He's evil! He's got me under a spell! You can break the spell by making a vow of ever lasting love and proving it to the world but I don't know how you're going to do that! ... Oh yes! I'll come to your ball! BWEE!" Omette exclaimed. "... Whatever." Brad said, walking away. Aya appeared. "Omette! Who was that?" Aya asked evilly. "... ... I was practicing ventriloquism? .. Err.. Hey! I know! I'll marry you!" Omette exclaimed. ".. Shi-ne.. this is degrading..." Aya mumbled. Just say the lines. ".. Oh. Omette. I'm so happy. I'll be a good king. I'll throw away my tacky orange sweater --.. HEY! MY SISTER GAVE ME THAT!" Aya glared. JUST FINISH THE LINES. ".. Shi-ne, Narrator. .. and I'll trim my eartails and... I hate you all and you lied and I'm mad at you Omette and shi-NE." Aya said. ".. I will never be yours, you.. you.. CREATURE! ... And that's the best insult I could think up.. eesh.. I'm pathetic. ... anyhow, jah, you'll have to kill me blah blah blah..." Omette said, completely abandoning the script. "There's no moon tomorrow night." Aya said. ".... CENSORED!" Omette exclaimed. "MWAHAHAHA! . Shi-ne. all of you." Aya said, walking back to his place, where he had Sakura as his.. ... side-kick person.... and he had his own song!

".. I refuse to sing." Aya glared. ... You're so annoying, Aya. Now we'll have to skip MORE. "Or we could just play another tape." Sakura suggested. And she doesn't have any lines so she shouldn't be able to SUGGEST ANYTHING. ".. Fine." She pouted. Anyhow. NEXT SCENE.

"I refuse to do this." Brad said stubbornly. Eesh, Brad, all you have to do is make shadow puppets and rant about swans. "I REFUSE." Brad glared. Just do it, Brad. ".. Shi-ne. I want white roses. Woo. Only have bird food. Play SWAN MUSIC. Oy vey.. I hate you all... like a swan this, like a swan that, swan swan swan SWAN SWAN!" Brad yelled. "And where's Nagi?" He asked irritably. You said a line correctly, Bradley, we're so PROUD. ... I really have been around you people too long. "..That was a line?" Brad asked, as the scene switched.

"It hurts me to lock you up and shi-ne. Here, have a guy to make you feel better." Aya said, shoving Nagi into the.. dungeon... thing.. where Omette was. "And being late is tacky. Like Verie. So I'm leaving. Because my evil plan is to make Sakura dress up as Omette and stuff. Ha ha." Aya said, walking off. ".. Dude... that's uncool. It's not my fault I'm late, blame my mom." Verie mumbled. ".. Well.. this is awkward." Nagi mumbled.

"I've got an idea. I great idea. AN EXCELLENT IDEA!" Schufin exclaimed. ".. We don't care." Speed Ken said. "Fine. We knock a hole in the thing, save Omette, and then we can torture Brad! MWAHA!" Schufin declared. ".. Right." Speed Ken said. Schufin broke into song again. And thus thousands of people went deaf. ".. You're so cruel, Narrator." Schufin mumbled. And that's THE Narrator to you. "Alligators hurt deity deleted." Farf-Bob said. ".. His psychopath's got a point." Speed Ken. "It wouldn't hurt of Farf did all the work." Schufin said, sitting back. ".. Wee?" Farf-Bob asked. Schufin broke into song, so we went on to the next song hurriedly.

"Now, I know some of you hate beauty pageants..." Yohji declared. "YES. WE DO. ALL OF US." The crowd glared. This included Verie, Shinigami, and everyone else who hasn't been cast as someone else. And so Yohji started singing about the Brad fangirls, as Brad sat there and read his book. "And they all have bad taaaaste!" Yohji exclaimed, as the Crawford fangirls paraded around, mumbling about how they hate the way they've been dressed up for this. ".. And this is why I didn't play the part of a princess myself." Verie stated to Shinigami. "... da." Shinigami blinked. ".. Too much pink..." Verie twitched. Anyhow, so then Yohji went to open the door and Sakura disguised as Omette walked in! There was silence through out the room, especially from Brad, who read his book. Sakura tugged on Brad's sleeve to attempt to get him to dance with her. "Stop that. Or I'll send you my dry cleaning bill too." Brad glared.

"I dislike being used as a distraction for alligators..." Speed Ken whimpered. "Shut up." Schufin said, and so Farf-Bob went and swam through the hole thingie int othe dungeon and WOO. Speed Ken swam in too, as Schufin hung out on shore. So they rescued Omette, and he/she flew off to find Brad. Wee.

Meanwhile, Sakura was still trying to get Brad to dance with her. "... But.. you HAVE too. I'm OMELETTE!" Sakura whined. ".. Did you just say Omelette?" Brad arched an eyebrow. ".. No?" Sakura asked. ".. Whatever. Vow vow vow. There. Happy?" Brad asked. Omette screamed and fell out of the sky from outside. Aya barged in. "MWAHA! SHI-NE!!!" He exclaimed. Sakura turned back into herself. "... ... I hate this casting. ... Oh. Dear. It's not Omette. I'm sad. NOT." Brad said, barging out the door.

And so Omette flew back to Schufin, Speed Ken and Farf-Bob, and turned back into a human and passed out. Brad magically came and found her. "Gee. I feel so guilty. I'm leaving now." Brad said, walking off. "Hey! The story's not over yet! We have a fight scene!" Aya whined. "... .... As much as I hate passing up a chance to fight with you, I'm still leaving." Brad said. Verie appeared, and whacked Brad with a glowstick. "You're going to kick Aya's censored and that's FINAL." She glared. ".. Fine." Brad grumbled, knocking Aya unconscious with the glowstick. ".. .. That was uncool, Brad." Verie sighed. "Ok.. let's um.. .. replace.. Aya with.. Yohji! Yes, that works." Verie said, as some extras came onstage to drag Aya away. ".. Hn." Brad mumbled. ". actually, let's just import a randomly badly drawn dragon. That works too." Verie declared. so we did.

Anyhow, so Brad acted like he couldn't easily whack this monster with the glowstick, and then Nagi came and whacked it with a blunt arrow and everyone was happy. Wee. So then Brad ran to Omette. ... I said, Brad ran to Omette. CRAWFORD! "I refuse. I REFUSE." Brad glared, so he and Nagi walked away. And Omette never woke up. ... And they all lived happily ever after.

"... That was the lamest fairytale EVER." Schufin declared.

And he was right.

*******************


Verie: ... o.O; I place all blame on Shinigami/Nagi, who lent me this movie. It's the Swan Princess if you haven't figured that out by now. Gah... the worst part, I had to WATCH it. .. And actually, it's still playing. Which is basically why this chapter is so long, because I was actually watching the movie while I was writing it. (Thus explaining the parts where I was rushing through the script... ... I was fast forwarding at those points >.;) Anyhow.. yes. Another chapter! Woo!! ... Poor Brad. Oh well, I mean to put Jimmy Sprinkles/Omi in this.. but I didn't. Too bad. I'll have to make a mental note to do that sometime. Mwahahaha. Feareth.