The Adventures of Prince Crawford

by Verie

(Presenting... The Neko King! XD Latest chapter yet, I do believe.)Brad gets cast as Prince Charming in fairytale, with Schu as his annoying sidekick, an annoying Narrator, a blue censor dot, and a lot of cross-dressing princesses.

14. Intermission: I challenge thee to a duel...

*BACK STAGE*

Verie: Please?
Brad: No.
Verie: Please?
Brad: -.-; No.
Verie: PLEASE?
Brad: No.
Verie: .. bitte?
NHSG: please?
Brad: >.; no.
Verie: ....por favor?
NHSG: please?
Brad: NO.
Verie: umm... yorokobaseru?
NHSG: umm... please?
Brad: FOR THE LAST TIME; NO!!!
Schuldich: >.; headache.. three... hours... of nothing but them arguing like this.... ~falls over~
Others: ~asleep~
Verie: Pleasebitteporfavoryorokobaseru?
NHSG: Pleasepleasepleaseplease?
Brad: NO.
Schuldich: ~trying to find the coffee can, or at the very least, his pair of scissors~
Verie: WHY NOT?! ~sob~
Brad: I'm not singing anything.
Verie: What about the Sailormoon theme?
Brad: HELL NO!
Verie: .. In German?
Brad: NO.
Verie: ... French?
Shinigami: .... The French version is stupid no da...
Verie: ... true. But it would make good blackmail material.
Brad: NO!!!!!!
Schuldich: ~crawling around on the floor searching for his items of torture~
Verie: how about... Vanilla! Sing Vanilla!
Shinigami: O.o;; ... ~snigger~ da.
Brad: NO.
Verie: How about....
Brad: FOR THE LAST TIME NO, I WILL NOT SING DEATTE SHIMATTA, COME ON, STELLAR SOLDIERS, ESTE, YUME NO NA HASHI, BRILLIANT FUTURE, WILL, VANILLA, OR ANY OTHER SONGS IN EXISTANCE!!!
Verie: ... Megalomaniac?
Brad: ~convulses~ NO!!!!!! IIE!!!! NEIN!!! DO I HAVE TO WRITE IT OUT FOR YOU IN FIFTEEN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES?! BECAUSE I WILL IF IT'LL MAKE YOU SHUT UP!!!!
NHSG: NO!!! NO!!! NO!! ... etc.
Verie: .... How about Schwarz?
Brad: ~face fault~ I hate you. I hate you, I hate your father because he helped spawn you, I hate your Uncle because he influences you too much and he is NOT exactly like me damnit, and I hate your aunt for no apparent reason and I hate-
Shinigami: We get it no da.
Verie: Yes well, everyone hates my father. So that doesn't count. A majority of us dislike my aunt, so that doesn't count either. HOWEVER! ~glares at Brad~ Insulting my Uncle, who is like... exactly like you only without the assassination and angst and insanity and glowsticks and crap, is INSULTING MY HONOR! I hereby challenge thee to a duel!!!
Schuldich: ~looks up from his crawling around on the floor~ ne?
Others: ~wake up randomly~ ... ~blink~
Brad: .... and now you're committing suicide. ~blink blink~
Verie: -.-; Not that kind of duel, baka.
NHSG: -.-; Not that kind of duel, idiot.
Brad: Then what, praytell, does one actually do in said duel?
Verie: ~rolls eyes~ Play Dance Dance Revolution, duh.
Brad: ... NO.
Verie: ah-ha! So I win by default!
Brad: ne... nani?
NHSG: eh... what?
Verie: And, as the winner, I hereby-
Brad: WAIT!!! I don't even want to *HEAR* the end of that sentence. ~twitch~
Schuldich: ~amused~ I would.
Brad: SHUT UP!
Schuldich: .. just saying... ~backs away~
Verie: ~grins evilly~ The only way you can get out of this is to beat me in my duel, fuwa fuwa shite iru koneko!
Others: O.o;; ~freaked out~
NHSG: ... fluffy kitten. ~blink blink~
Brad: ~disturbed~ O.o
Verie: .. I couldn't find my book that had insults in it, so it was either that or Green-Coat-Nazi.
Schu: ... hey -.-
Brad: ... riiiight.
Shinigami: .. that reminds me... ~magically pulls a fluffy ball cat toy out of her sleeve~ SHONEN PAFFU BARU NO DA!!!!
NHSG: ... manly puff ball verbal exclamation mark.
Others: O.o;
Brad: .. that's it. You're all disturbed. -.-
Shinigami: ^_^
Schuldich: .. ~snickers evilly~
Others: O.o;;;
Schuldich: ^_^ mwuahahahahaha!!! I could have fun with that.
Shinigami: o.o; ~backs away from Schu~
Jimmy: ~grabs the shonen paffu baru~ MWAHA!
Shinigami: !! IIE!!! KAISHITE! KAISHITE!!!
NHSG: !! No!!! Give it back! Give it back!!!
Shinigami: ~chases Jimmy around the studio~
Brad: .... ok.. so we have the COMPLETE nutcase, and the girl who plays with cat toys. ~sigh~ .. Yes, I'm in *great* company here.
Farf: it hurts God ^_^
Brad: shut up.
Farf: ^_^
Brad: -.-;
Verie: ... can we get back to me here?
Shinigami: -.-; iie no da.
NHSG: no verbal exclamation mark.
Verie: ~frowns~ but... the PLOT.
Brad: The plot's gone. It ran away.
Others: ~arch an eyebrow at Brad~
Brad: .... what? It HAS.
Verie: that means it's up to me to retrieve it! ~magically grabs the shonen paffu baru back from Jimmy and gives it back to Shinigami~ MWAHA!
Shinigami: DA!!!! ^_^
NHSG: verbal- .. you know what? Nevermind. You people figure it out.
Brad: ... ok, now that the disturbing cat toy has been put away, what exactly IS Dance Dance Revolution?
Others: ~stare at Brad in complete shock~
Nagi: ... I'm ashamed to know you.
Brad: ... What?! What makes it so hard to believe I don't know what the hell Dance Dance Revolution is?!!!
Verie: EVERYTHING!!!
Brad: Detailed explanation there, I'm proud -.-;
Verie: ~sweatdrop~ Ok, it's a game that involves stepping on arrows to the sound of music.
Brad: ~blink~ .. sounds simple.
Verie: Exactly, now let's go so I can beat you and then I can put my evil plan into effect! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! ~drags Brad off~
Others: ~blink~ ....
Schuldich: You know what? I'm certain this will make good blackmail material. Also, it'll be reeeaally friggin' hilarious to see Crawfish playing DDR. ~follows~
Nagi: ... I concur. ~follows~
Others: ~shrug and follow as well~

~*IN THE AMAZING ROOM OF NO PARTICULAR SIGNIFICANCE EXCEPT IT HOUSES THE AMAZING PLAYSTATION 2 OF DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION PLAYING EVILNESS*~

Verie: ~sets up the mats~ ok, there ^_^
Brad: .... This is going to diminish what little dignity I've managed to salvage from you, isn't it?
Verie: ... pretty much, jah.
Brad: >.; and if I refuse, you'll probably say something along the lines of "as the winner, I hereby declare Crawford must play Dance Dance Revolution in front of everyone" right?
Verie: ... pretty much. ... Of course, there'll be other, eviler consequences, but jah. That works.
Brad: -.-; I hate you, you know that?
Verie: Yep! ^_^
Brad: ~grumbles~
Verie: mwuahahaha!! Anyhow, shall we begin?
Brad: ... ~stands on the mat~ I hate you. I REALLY hate you.
Verie: ^___^
Brad: -.-;

*FIVE MINUTES LATER*

Schuldich: aaaand... it's a tie! With absolutely nothing for both of you!
Brad&Verie: ~face fault~
Nagi: ... you two really suck. ~blink blink~
Verie: shut up -.-;
Nagi: .. but seriously. Most people make at least *ONE* arrow.
Brad: Nagi?
Nagi: Yes, Crawford?
Brad: Listen to Verie for once and shut up.
Nagi: .. but honestly, ONE arrow. ONE. You couldn't even get ONE. And you can see the future!!
Brad: -.-; That's not helpful in this game, damnit.
Nagi: Suuure it isn't.
Brad: ~death glare~
Schuldich: ~sigh~ After everything I've tried to teach you Brad... you still aren't cool. ~sob~ WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!!
Yohji: ~pats Schuldich~ It's not your fault, he's just dense. Like Aya.
Aya&Brad: -.- shi-ne.
Aya: .. That's it. I'm copyrighting "shi-ne" damnit!! YOU CAN'T STEAL IT ANYMORE, SCHWARZ!!! ~points at Brad accusingly~
Brad: .... You can't copyright a word that's used in a person's everyday vocabulary.
Aya: WATCH ME.
Brad: .. I'm watching, and yet.. you're not doing anything.
Aya: -.-; shi-ne.
Schuldich: ... riiight. Anyhow, seriously, Brad, Verie; you two suck WANG at Dance Dance Revolution.
Brad: .... ..... ~lost~
Schuldich: ~twitch~ I feel like such a failure. ~sigh~
Verie: ~stares at the PS2~ .. ~glances at Brad~ Best two out of three?
Brad: .... fine.

*TWO HOURS LATER*
(After many, many, rematches)

Schuldich: .. ~watching Verie and Brad attempting, once again, to beat each other at DDR~ .. this is just.. pathetic. Beyond words.
Omi: ... I'm going to have to agree.
Nagi: .. I didn't think they'd play for two hours straight without even getting one arrow right....
Shinigami: ... sad no da.
Nagi: ~nods sadly~ Crawford is just uncool. That's all there is to it. ~ashamed~
Schuldich: ~sniffle~ Depressing, isn't it Nags?
Nagi: ~nod~
Schuldich: I mean, I expected as much from Verie, I mean.. she's just pathetic in all areas. But CRAWFISH. ~sniffle~ I thought I'd taught him better than that!!!
Aya: ... you're all idiots.
Yohji: ... I've failed as well! ~sobs on Schuldich's shoulder~
Schuldich: O.o;; .... dude.. I like this coat, get off. ~pushes Yohji off~
Yohji: -.-;
Brad&Verie: ~both tie again, with 0 arrows, and start screaming profanities at the Playstation 2 in various different languages~
Schuldich: .... hey, hey, leave the console alone. It's not it's fault you two suck wang.
Brad&Verie: YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR TWO HOURS, SO SHUT UP!!! ~more multilingual profanities~
Farf: .. this game hurts God! ^_^
Brad: SHUT UP!!! >.;;
Verie: And here we go again, right?
Brad: Yes.
Others: -.-;

*THREE HOURS LATER*
(.. more rematches... O.o;;)

Brad&Verie: ~both tie again, and fall over on the ground~
Verie: can't... breathe.... ;_;'
Schuldich: that's it. I vote you two pick representatives-
Brad: Schuldich.
Verie: .. DAMN YOU.
Brad: mwaha.
Schuldich: Ok, fine. I'll be playing for Brad. Verie, if you would pick your representative.
Verie: .. Aya. For blackmail purposes.
Aya: .. shi-ne -.- ~steps onto the mat~
Schuldich: .. This shall be fun ^_^
Verie: AND NO USING YOUR POWERS!
Schuldich: .. damn. Oh well.
Verie&Brad: ~sit up to watch what happens~

*FIVE MINUTES LATER*

Everyone(sans Schu and Aya): ~SHOCK~
Verie: .. what... the HELL.. was that?!
Aya: Aya-chan likes this game.
Others: o.o;
Shinigami: It's.. another tie.. no da.
Schuldich: ~frowns~ Perfect score, good job Fujimiya.
Aya: ~nods~
Verie: .. this sucks.
Brad: ... indeed.
Verie: and thus.. .we try again.
Brad: looks like it.
Nagi: .. not again... -.-
Shinigami: why can't Aya and Schu have a rematch?
Verie: There's more of a chance of them tying again than Brad and I, obviously.
Shinigami: .. and you are lead to believe this.. why no da?
Verie: ... Because of the plot hole, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go attempt to get one arrow on this stupid game. ~glare~
Nagi: .. is everyone aware that we've been sitting here for five hours now???
Omi: sadly, yes.
Yohji: but.. it's entertaining. Especially now that I know Aya's cooler than Crawford! TAKE THAT SCHWARZ!!!
Schwarz: SHUT UP!!!
Nagi: It's not our fault Crawford sucks!
Brad: >.; That's it, when we get out of here.... ~glares at Nagi~
Nagi: .... o.o; eep. ~hides behind Schu~
Schuldich: If you're not careful Brad, the fangirls are gonna getcha.
Brad: ... what the hell are you talking about?
Schuldich: The Nagi fangirls! They're terrors. They really are. And there's a lot of them, too. It's.. scary.
Verie: Schu fangirls are scarier.
Schuldich: ^_^ I train them well.
Others: O.o;; ~scared~
Brad: ... ... ~disturbed~

*YET ANOTHER HOUR LATER*

Verie&Brad: ~tie again~ .... DAMNIT! ~pass out~
Schuldich: ... .... that's.... the most.. pathetic thing... I have.. ever seen in my life.
Nagi: ~nods~
Shinigami: .. ~pokes Verie~ six hours of dance dance revolution causes death no da. *POKE*
Omi: .. actually, I think they're only passed out.
Jimmy: ... ... ... ~glomps Omi~ ^_^
Omi: >.;
Shinigami: you only did that because you haven't done anything for six hours, no da.
Jimmy: ... true. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm in the fic. ^_^
Shinigami: ~shakes head~ da.
Schuldich: Well, I think I'll be going to bed. ~grabs Brad's collar~
Others: o.o;;
Schuldich: What??? I'm just going to play with him!
Others: O.O;
Schuldich: ... not like that -.-; I mean, I'm going to make him *THINK* I did something, but I'm not. See?
Ken: .. and we should believe you... why?
Schuldich: ... ... ~shrugs~ You all have my word, that our star will not have any reason to be traumatized tomorrow morning.
Yohji: ~arches an eyebrow~ I bet.
Schuldich: .... Fine, DON'T believe me! ~drags Brad to his room~
Shinigami: hehehehe... ~grabs notebook and follows~
Jimmy: NOOO!!! NEE-SAN!!!
NHSG: NOO!!! Sister!!!

*THE NEXT MORNING*

~BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM~

Everyone(excluding Verie, who somehow got dragged into her room, and is still asleep, Brad, Schuldich, and Shinigami): ... ~shake head sadly~
Schuldich: ~runs past~
Brad: ~runs past with a knife, screaming profanities in random languages~
Shinigami: ~walks in solemnly~ da.
Yohji: So, what happened?
Shinigami: ~whine~ Nothing! Nothing no da!!! ~sob~ The damn bastard kept his word!!! >.; NO DA!!!
Others: o.o; ~surprised~
Shinigami: I know. It's not fair. ~sigh~
Jimmy: ~relieved~ This place is definately not suitable for people 12 years and younger...
Nagi: .. you're just now noticing that?
Jimmy: Well, not really, but that's not going to stop me anyway. Because... ~glomps Omi~ OMIIII!!!!!
Omi: -.-;
Schuldich&Brad: ~run past again~
Verie: ~walks in groggily~ .... ne? ~notices Brad and Schu~ ... ... ... you know what? I don't want to know. ... Unless.... ~looks to Shinigami~
Shinigami: ~shakes head sadly~
Verie: .. damn. ~walks back to her room to go back to sleep~
Ken: .. isn't anyone going to tell Crawford that nothing happened...?
Others: ~watch as Brad chases Schuldich everywhere, while only pausing his stream of profanities to breathe~ ... nah.

***********************

A/N:

Verie: O.o;; jah.... I just wanted to write this so you all know I'm still alive ^_^;; .. that and I've always found the mental picture of Brad playing Dance Dance Revolution amusing. ~shakes head~ poor Brad. I feel bad now, but you know.. this *isn't* my fault. As you know, I was unconscious during this. So you can't yell at me ^_^;;; .. I should probably tack up a yaoi warning now. >.;; but.. then again.. there's not *really* any yaoi.. and we all love yaoi anyway. So ha. ~cackles evilly~ ... I think that is quite possibly the most evil thing that has happened to Brad thus far. I'd punish Schu, but I'm fairly certain the Schu fangirls would maul me. (*COUGH*especiallyacertaininsaneredheadwhoIreallyneedtosendalettertobecauseshemovedtotheotherside oftownbutstillandshewon'tstopyellingat meforowningagolfclub andit'snotmyfaultmyUnclegaveittomeanddamnitIwaslearninghowtoplaygolfatthetimeand shereallydidn'tneedtostartscreaming"BRAD, HOW COULD YOU?!!"becauseIthinkmymomgotfreakedout.*COUGH*) .... .... O.o;; ~massive sweatdrop~ but yes. My excuse is that I left my brain in Maui. And it was either this or rewrite the fluff-ish-stuff I wrote for Shinigami while I was *IN* Maui, but... I'm too lazy to do that right now because that involves getting the laptop out. >.;;

And yes, even when writing fluff, Brad still suffers (.. he falls in a swimming pool ~face fault~) .. I feel bad now.

Oh, and:

Note To Self: Next time we go on a field trip, bring enough money to contribute to buying the pizza, and also think about buying Kenken BEFORE it's time to go (... so close to scaring people on the bus with Kenken, the evil white mouse. ~sigh~ so close, damnit. ~whine~ .. oh well, there was the beetle in history. But Mr. Sausedo wouldn't give him to us... ~frown~