Disclaimer-Guy:

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Verie owns jack,
so you can't sue.

*BACKSTAGE*




Verie: ~singing Spiritualized~
Others: ~twitching~
Shinigami: stop.
Verie: Myyy piiitch uuuup!
Shinigami: o.o; stop.
Verie: ~continues~
Brad: >.; she's almost as bad as Schuldich...
Schuldich: I CAN SING, DAMNIT!!!
Brad: ... ~glare~
Schuldich: ... oh come on, nothing happened.
Brad: ~continues glaring~
Schuldich: >.;
Verie: ~still singing~
Shinigami: at least get the words for the Japanese part.
Verie: ~shakes head~ Goodbye my mars, I shot your pigs...
Schuldich: ... Stop glaring at me.
Brad: *GLARE*
Schuldich: .... ~rubs head and whines~ You hit me with a golfclub, damnit!! ~sob~
Brad: you deserved it.
Schuldich: ~sobs louder~ You know how I am about golfclubs!!!
Shinigami: ~throws at spoon at Brad~
Brad: >.; what was that for?!
Shinigami: For hitting Schu with a golfclub.
Brad: So now *I'M* the badguy here?!
Omi: .. you were always the badguy...
Brad: ~blink~ ... ... true.
Verie: Myyyy piiiitch uuuuup!!
Schuldich: ~beats Verie with a coffee can~ THAT'S MY SONG, DAMNIT!!!
Verie: x.x;
Shinigami: ... that field trip was two days ago and she's *STILL* singing that song. ~twitch~ I want to hit something.
Schuldich: .. we don't get field trips...
Omi: you're not in school.
Schuldich: .. we should still get field trips. ~ rubs head and glares at Brad~
Brad: ~glares back~
Verie: .. ok, on with the plot then.

************
~*DISC ONE: PART THREE*~

And so, the train arrived at Timber station, and our heroes got off.

"Great.. now we've got to find the stupid person..." Brad sighed, walking up to someone and poking them. "HI! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A VACUUM CLEANER?!" The woman exclaimed loudly. Brad twitched. "Erm.. no thanks." He said, backing away. "ARE YOU CERTAIN?! IT'S A DIRT-DEVIL! VERY POWERFUL! PICKS UP DIRT!" The woman exclaimed. Brad backed away some more, deathly afraid of this psycho. "DIRT IS BAD, YES?! PICKING UP DIRT IS GOOD! DIRT-DEVIL PICKS UP DIRT!!!" The woman yelled, backing Brad up into a corner. Brad hereby had two options:

Beat the woman senseless with his glowblade

or

Run for it.

Since Brad's lazy, he picked the first option. "Ok... now that that problem's solved..." Brad said, looking around. ".. Dude... we're gonna get arrested..." Kell whimpered. "Shut up. We have a mission, not to mention, a plot to advance!" Brad exclaimed. "... I've been hanging around you people too long." He twitched, stepping over the unconscious Dirt-Devil Lady and walking up to another civilian. "..." The girl said, even though that's not saying anything. She looked at Brad, and then immediately glomped him. "I CAUGHT A BISHIE!!!!" She screamed. Brad twitched and beat her senseless with his glowblade. "... Censored .. why are there so many psychopaths around here?!" He demanded. He walked up to someone else. "Oh the forests of Timber sure have changed!" The guy exclaimed. "Yes! Finally! ... But the owls are still around." Brad stated. "... What the Censored are you talking about?" The guy asked. Brad blinked. ".... Nevermind, then." He sighed, walking back to the group. "These people are crazy. End of story." He stated. Kell, meanwhile, was playing with a vacuum cleaner. Brad glared at him. "What? It was cheap! And dirt is bad! But picking up dirt is good!" Kell exclaimed. ".. I'm going to kill you." Brad twitched. "You're only depressed because there's so much dirt in the world." Kell said. Brad hit him with his glowblade and threw the vacuum in front of an oncoming train. "From now on, I'm in charge of our money." Brad stated, taking Kell's money. He looked for Totophie, who was nowhere to be seen. "... Censored." He mumbled. "... Dude.... .... it's ok, Brad. I know the dirt made you do that. It's hard to resist it, I know but-" "WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!" Brad exclaimed. Kell bowed his head. "He's gone to far to the dark side... I cannot help him. Forgive me, Master Dirt-Devil Lady!" He sobbed. Brad twitched and walked up to another random person.

"The forests of Timber sure have changed." He said. "But the owls are still around." Brad stated. "Right this way, Mr. SeeD person!" The guy said, dragging Brad off. "... Next time, I'm just going to stand on the tracks..." Brad mumbled.

"Hello, my name is Kyone." A person said, as Brad and Kell entered another train. "Wow! You look just like-" Brad kicked Kell. Kyone sweatdropped. "Apparently more casting problems." Brad mumbled. "I'm Kell!" Kell exclaimed. "I'm Totophie! HEE!" Totophie said. "I'm Brad. I'm the Squad Leader, because they're idiots." Brad stated. "Ah! Ok, I'm the leader of the Forest Owls!" Kyone said, reaching out to shake Brad's hand. Meanwhile, Brad ignored him. "... Erm... kay..." He said, shaking Kell's and Totophie's hands instead.

"So let's get on with it, shall we? For the sake of the plot and such." Brad stated. "Well, we need to introduce you to our princess, but she's sleeping right now." Kyone said. "... What the Censored would a resistance faction need a princess?" Brad asked. "Don't speak of our princess that way!" Kyone exclaimed. "Where is she? I'll wake her up." Brad said. "You can't wake up the princess!" Kyone whined. "Watch me." Brad stated, walking over to some random doors and kicking them in. "Nope.. no princess there." He said, and moved on down the car.

"... Dude... what room IS she in??" Kell blinked. ".. The last one." Kyone whined, as Brad continued kicking in doors.

Awhile Later, Brad finally kicked in the last door.

"Hey! You're that guy from the party!" The princess exclaimed, waking up. "... ... Why me, Censored?" Brad sighed. Ominoa jumped up and hugged Brad. "... GET OFF." Brad glared. Ominoa jumped away from him. "It was in the script." She/He whined. "Right." Brad grumbled. "I'm so happy! I've been sending requests to Garden forever, but nothing ever happened! I'm so glad I talked to Headmaster Shinigami directly!" Ominoa ranted. "So at that party, you were looking for the headmaster...?" Brad blinked. "You know Scheifer?" Ominoa asked. "Yes, but what does he have to do with the headmaster?" Brad glared. "He introduced me to the headmaster!" Ominoa exclaimed. "Peachy. But... I don't care." Brad said, turning to leave. "Oh! Is 'he' here??" Ominoa bounced. "... Who's 'he'?" Brad asked. "Scheifer!" Ominoa exclaimed. "No. He's not even a SeeD, because he's an idiot. ... Even more so than the other idiot SeeD." Brad stated, walking off.

So then they all went into the Forest Owls meeting room.

"Ok, so the President of Galbadia is coming to Timber, and we don't like him. Because we're a resistance faction, see?" Kyone said.
"Yes." Brad, Totophie and Kell murmured.
"And he's taking a private train." Kyone stated.
"Ok." Brad, Totophie and Kell murmured.
"And our plan is to-"
"Blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher?!" Totophie exclaimed.
Everyone sweatdropped.
"Not exactly..." Kyone stated.
"Ok." Brad, Totophie and Kell murmured.
"Well, it's really quite complicated, and due to time, we'll have to fast-forward the plot to where you actually do something, because otherwise Ominoa will blather on annoyingly for a couple pages, and we don't want that!" Kyone exclaimed.

A couple pages of Ominoa's blathering later...

After everyone woke up, Brad decided to conveniently sum up the plan in a less-than-fifteen-pages summary.

"So we get on the second car, then walk on the roof to the president's car, uncouple the first car, and have the dummy car and Timber Owls base move in after that, and then escape with the president's car and the base, right?" Brad asked.
"Exactly." Kyone said.
"So let's go!" Ominoa exclaimed.

And so they completed the mission.

"Now! We get to go into negotiation with the President!" Ominoa declared, walking off.
"... Great." Brad mumbled, following.

"President Deling! As long as you don't resist, you won't get hurt!" Ominoa exclaimed. .. Then noticed there was a brick with the word "President" written on it in the chair. (*OFFSTAGE* Shinigami: .. first a Bush, and now a Brick. People need to think better before they vote. Verie: >.; bad pun.)

"I'm assuming this is from budget cut-backs.." Brad mumbled, picking up a note next to the brick. "Blah blah... not the real president.. body double... resistance factions lead by idiots... false information... cue battle scene..." Brad skimmed through the note, hitting the brick with his glowblade once he got to "battle scene." "Congratulations... defeated fake President... went up a level.. blah blah blah.. got some money. Woo." Brad said, tossing the note.

"I can't believe we fell for that!" Ominoa whined. ".. I can't believe she used a brick." Brad mumbled.
"I just found out the REAL president is at the TV station!" Kyone exclaimed, running in. ".. But why in Timber? They've got a TV station in Galbadia." Ominoa stated. "Think this has anything to do with the radio tower in Dollet that we saw way back in the very beginning?" Totophie asked. "So they're using radio waves to broadcast, because only Timber can do that." Brad stated. "But what are they going to broadcast?" Ominoa blinked. "Everybody! PEACE! LOVE! HAPPINESS!" Totophie exclaimed, Brad hit her with his glowblade.

"Let's come up with a plan!" Ominoa declared. "Censored not again..." Brad whined. "Where's our contract?!" Brad demanded. Ominoa gave him a peice of paper written in purple crayon. "I asked the headmaster for a simpler one because I couldn't understand the other." Ominoa nodded. Brad looked at the paper. "You now own these SeeD. ... Censored!!!" Brad grumbled.

And so, they went off to find the TV station.

However, soon they came to a drunk blocking their path.

"Move." Brad growled. "No." The drunk replied. Ominoa looked thoughtful. "I see! So now we need to figure out what this drunk's favorite drink is, find a card, give the card to a passerby who will turn out to be it's original owner, they'll give us ANOTHER card, which we will trade for a better card, which we can give to the drunk after bying him a drink, and then get him to move so we can get by!" Ominoa exclaimed, meanwhile, Brad had knocked the drunk out with his glowblade. Ominoa sweatdropped. "You've been doing that all day, haven't you?" "... Pretty much." Brad replied, stepping over the drunk and continuing on his way to the TV station. "... Well, you can't argue that it's a lot less complicated." Kell blinked.

So they made it to the TV station.

"We won't be able to storm the place. ... Too many guards..." Ominoa said.

Just then, a giant TV right next to them sprang to life and the REAL President Deling began his broadcast.

".... I can't believe we're watching a brick give a speech..." Brad mumbled. "... Touche." Kell said.

"I'm here to introduce an ambassador... the ambassador is Sorceress...." The brick ranted.

".. Sorceress?" Kell blinked. ".. I knew this plot was lame." Brad sighed.

Just then, Scheifer ran on screen and killed some nameless Galbadian soldiers!

"Heey! It's Scheifer! HEE!" Totophie exclaimed.

The soldiers grabbed Scheifer, but he kicked them, and beat them up and stuff, and soon won and had his glowblade at the President's.. er... throat.. or... .... .... I don't know. I really don't. And then, Ayastis ran in with him!

"Brad, what're we gonna do??" Kell exclaimed. "Nothing. We were hired to help the Owls, so that's what we'll do." Brad stated.

"Timber team, get over here now. That IS an order." Ayastis said from the studio.

"Censored. Now I'm taking orders from cross-dressers..." Brad mumbled, so they ran to the studio.

"We need to restrain him." Ayastis stated, once our heroes got there. "What do you think you're doing?" Brad asked. "It's obvious, ain't it?! What are you planning to do with this guy?! ... Brick... whatever." Scheifer demanded. "I get it! You're Ominoa's-" Kell started. "SHUT YOUR Censored MOUTH!" Scheifer yelled. ".... This plot just gets stranger and stranger." Brad sighed. "He broke out of the disciplinary room." Ayastis explained. "I see, so we're gonna take this idiot back to Garden, right?!" Kell exclaimed. "I see! So you're all from Garden! If anything happens to me, the entire Galbadian army will crush Garden! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!" The brick exclaimed. ".... You idiot, Kell. Are you happy now?! WE'RE BEING THREATENED BY A Censored BRICK!!!" Brad exclaimed. "Way to go, chicken-wuss. Mr. Leader, Instructor, take care of this mess." Scheifer said, dragging the President off.

So, Scheifer was dragging the brick, when he ran into some psycho person.

"Poor, poor boy." The psycho person said. "Stay away from me!!" Scheifer exclaimed. "Such a confused little boy. Are you going to step forward? Retreat? You have to decide." The creepy psycho woman said. "Stay back!" Scheifer exclaimed. Ayastis entered, but was hit with magic, invisible magic, because we can't afford anything shinier. "The boy in you is telling you to come. The adult in you is telling you to back off. You can't make up your mind. You don't know the right answer. You want help, don't you? You want to be saved from this predicament... AND WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!" Creepy woman asked, glaring at Scheifer who was now lying on the floor giggling. "You should listen to yourself!! That jus' sounds so.. wrong." Scheifer giggled. Everyone sweat dropped. "That's it. I can't work with him." Creepy woman whined. "Schuldich, follow the script." Verie grumbled. "Ok, ok... lalala.. more wrong-sounding stuff... Let's go! Weee! I get to walk through a wall!!" Scheifer giggled, walking with creepy woman through the wall just as Totophie, Brad and Kell entered.

"Hey guys, where's Scheifer?" Ominoa asked, bouncing in. ".. We dunno." Kell stated. "... He'll be ok, right?" Ominoa whimpered. "... I hope not." Brad stated. Ominoa whined and ran off, followed by Ayastis. The others followed.

"They found our base. It's completely destroyed." Ominoa whined. "Is everyone ok?" Kell asked. "Yes, they're good at escaping. But we have to stay away from Timber for awhile. Brad, is there a safe place you can take me??" Ominoa asked. Brad twitched. "... Fine." He mumbled.

"So, where are we going??" Kell asked. "According to the script, Galbadia Garden." Brad stated. "... Aren't Galbadians the badguys...?" Ominoa asked. "Yes, but the script says we go there, so we're going there Censored." Brad stated. Everyone shrugged and they walked to the train station.

So they all boarded a train bound for East Academy.

"Train, train, take us away! Take us away, far away! To the future we will go! Where it leads, no one knows!" Totophie sang. "... Why do you keep doing that?" Brad whined.

So they made it to the train stop, which unfortunately was not directly by Galbadia Garden, so then they had to walk.

Then, Totophie, Ayastis and Brad fainted.

"... What the Censored was that for?" Ominoa asked.
"They must've gone to dream land again." Kell said.

********************

Disclaimer Guy:

Modification to above disclaimer:

Verie does NOT own Jack.

Jack: damn straight.

***************



A/N:

Verie: weee. Another chapter. OF THE PLOT. ~proud~ ... This is really only because I'm in a lot of trouble and don't want to do anything that causes noise or anything that might annoy my mom further... ;_;' she's really mad. ~cowers~ What does everyone think of Disclaimer-Guy??? ^_^ ... .. I'm getting too many odd technical devices... (Blue-Censor-Dot, Narrator, NHSG, Disclaimer-Guy.... O.o;) but jah. Oh well. ^_^; ... (this is the shortest A/N yet, ne?) As always, thanks to everyone who reviewed!!