:::Outside:::

Mom: Honey, smile, we're here for Lily.

Dad: Hmph.

Mom: Now stop that. Lily is our oldest daughter, and he makes her happy. You want her to be happy, don't you?

Dad: Yes.

Mom: Then BE NICE.

Dad: I'll try.

Mom: No. You WILL be nice. Now, I'll talk to Lily, and you –

Dad: - Will interrogate the boy.

Mom: NO!

Dad: *Rings doorbell* Yes.

:::Inside:::

Lily: That's them. Duo, don't forget  . . .

Duo: Be nice.

Lily: Very good. *Opens door* Mum! Dad!

Mom: Lily! How are you?

Lily: Wonderful. You guys, this is Duo.

Duo: Hello Mr. and Mrs. Ibara.

Mom: Hello Duo, it's nice to meet you.

Dad: Hello, boy – ow! – I mean, it's nice to meet you Duo.

(A/N: The "ow!" was my mother elbowing him)

Lily: Come in! Dinner's on the table.

*They sit down, and begin eating*

Duo: Mmm . . . Lily, babe, you've outdone yourself this time.

Mom: It's very good Lily!

Lily: I've had practice.

Duo: Remember when Quatre tried to make toast?

Lily: *Bursts out laughing* Akkiko couldn't salvage that poor toaster, we had to buy a new one.

Mom: What?

Lily: We all live here, Mum. Akkiko, Kat, and I, as well as Duo, and Heero, and Trowa, and  -

Wufei and Quatre: Us!

Lily: ACK! What are you two doing here?!

Wufei: Relax, we're just passing through.

Quatre: Gonna go spar against some of Oz's soldiers.

Duo: Okay. Don't blow anything up.

Wufei: We know, Duo. That's your job.

*Wufei and Quatre leave*

Dad: What did he mean by "That's your job"?

Duo: I do demolition work.

Mom: Really?

Duo: Yea! I design some of my own too.

Dad: You design your own bombs

Duo: *Not seeing Lily gesturing frantically* Of course! My latest project is in the work room right now.

Lily: Duo, can you come help me get dessert? NOW.

Duo: Oka-ack!

*Lily drags him into the kitchen*

Lily: Okay, my fault. I didn't explain the rules of living to see tomorrow to you. My Dad is a Sergeant in the PPCLI, you knew that, right? 20 years experience in the army.

Duo= O_O

Lily: He has this THING against certain boys. Namely, the ones I date. It would be best not to mention anything involving bombs, guns, espionage, death – yes, that includes DeathScythe –, kissing, hugging, any body contact with me whatsoever.

Duo: Aaww . . . so basically you want me to sit down, shut up and eat.

Lily: *Kisses him on the cheek* Now you've got it. So just relax.

Duo: My life, and our relationship, is on the line and she wants me to relax?

*They bring dessert out*

Mom: Looks great Lily!

Dad: Yes, wonderful.

Mom: Oh, what's that?

*All look. Duo and Lily blanch*

Lily: I THOUGHT I TOLD HIM TO CLEAR THOSE AWAY!

*Heero's best gun sits on top of the fridge, with two clips beside it*

Dad: Is that an R-77 4"?

Duo: I don't know.

Lily: No, Dad, It's a PT-80 Laser.

Dad: And WHO does it belong to?

Lily: Heero.

Dad: I like the sound of HIM. Why don't you date him?

Lily: DAD! He's Kat's boyfriend and besides, I like my Duo.

:::Later:::

Mom: That was delicious, Lily. Why don't you show me the place.

Lily: Should Dad –

Mom: - He can see it later.

Lily: Um . . . okay? *They leave*

Dad: Well, Duo. Looks like they've left us to our own devices.

Duo: No problem!

*Dad suddenly flips off the lights and turns on an overhead lamp that 'mysteriously' appeared. All the furniture is gone, save for Duo's chair. Basically, a cheesy police interrogation scene*

Dad: Okay. Here's the drill. You will answer all my questions. When I am done, I decide whether or not you can see my daughter again.

Duo: Eep!

Dad: Full name?

Duo: Duo Maxwell.

Dad: Occupation?

Duo: Demolitions and Stealth Ops expert.

Dad: Hobbies?

Duo: Driving Heero nuts, planning stealth missions to OZ.

Dad: Interest in my daughter. THINK about this one, boy.

Duo: Your daughter is a wonderful young lady, and my interest in her is completely platonic.

Dad: *Nods* Good answer, Now, you just need to fill out this questionnaire, and then we're done.

Duo: *Looking over sheet* Okay, piercings, none. Tattoos, none. Favorite thing about your daughter, not starting with 'A', 'B' or 'T' . . . hmm, what would start with that? Whatever.  I love Lily's personality. And her cooking. I swear Lily's the best.

Dad: Very well. Please look at the last question.

Duo: Do you agree that any bodily harm you come to is completely necessary and that the father of the girl you are dating is in no way liable?

Dad: Not that one, the one above it!

Duo: Oh. What are your opinions on pre-marital . . . WHOA! Are you some kind of nutcase? Did you think I was dating Lily for . . . no. Listen Mr. Ibara . . .Sir, I may be a little slow, and big words often confuse me, but I love Lily, and I'm sure as hell not about to be doing . . . that.

Dad: Well then. I think that you may just be good enough, boy.

Duo: Then can I call you Dad?

Dad: No.

Lily: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BOYFRIEND?!

Dad: Just asking him a few questions.

Lily: Like what?

Duo: Like my name, where I work, that sort of thing.

Lily: Dad . . . did you make him sign the waiver?

Duo: What waiver?

Lily: *Sighs in relief* Never mind, baby.

Duo: Okay!

:::Later:::

Mom: Well, it was wonderful seeing you again Lily, and it was nice meeting you, Duo.

Dad: Be good you two. *Whispers to Duo* Especially you. I have a little rule I live by. You make my little girl cry, I make you cry.

Duo: Yessir. It was nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Ibara.

Lily: Loved seeing you! Bye!

*Mom and Dad drive off*

Duo: Well, that was interesting.

*They walk inside*

Lily: So what other things did my dad ask you?

Duo: Well, there was this one about pre-marital  . . .

:::Location: A small village in eastern Australia:::

!~=*=~!BOOM!~=*=~!

Woman: Did you hear that, mate?

Woman2: Probably just a Sonic Boom.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, save the PMQ, Mom and Dad Ibara, Lily, and the plot.