Aimlessly, Hitomi stirred the lemon in her ice water, too lost in her thoughts to pay attention to the happenings of the world. Gaddes, giving Hitomi a concerned look, handed the waitress the two menus, smiled politely as she nodded and then walked off.

"So, what's up?" Gaddes asked as he took a sip of his coke, frowning slightly as Hitomi stabbed the slice of fruit with her straw, her bottom lip protruding out slightly in a discreet pout.

"Nothing," Hitomi sighed. "YOU were right though… Van was in a bad mood."

"Told you," Gaddes smiled kindly. "Don't worry. He gets like that every so often. Just stay out of his war path and before you know it, it'll be over."

"Oh," Hitomi nodded absentmindedly, nudging the ice against the sides of the glass. Jazz music was audible in the background. Hitomi restlessly tapped her foot on the floor to the beat. "Gaddes, do you think I'm obnoxiously happy? Like, happy 24/7? Happy as in lolipop-kid-I'm-on-a-joyride-please-don't-let-me-smack-into-a-stop-sign-because-I'm-so-happy happy?"

Gaddes paused for a moment, Hitomi flushed as she busied herself by sipping her water as if her life depended on it.

"Uh... Not really," Gaddes replied slowly, slightly confused by Hitomi's outburst, "You can be happy, but sometimes you have the temper of a firecracker."

"Do not!" Hitomi replied reflexively, smacking him on the arm.

"See," Gaddes grinned causing Hitomi to mock scowled, a small smile curling on her pink lips.

"Why?" he added out of curiosity. Hitomi, slightly embarrassed, looked down at the oak table, flushing slightly.

"This morning, Van was really snappish with his answers, and well, he sort of accused me of always being annoyingly happy," Hitomi mumbled, blinking carefully as her green eyes shone slightly.

Gaddes was quiet for a moment, the buzz of people laughing and talking weaving in between the mellow notes of the saxophone.

Hitomi nodded, feeling better slightly, and smiled.

"Thanks," she smiled as a Caesar salad was set in front of her.

"No problem little lady," Gaddes winked as they dug in.

  Across the restaurant, unaware of Gaddes and Hitomi, sat Van who had reluctantly agreed to go to lunch with Millerna after much pouting and whining from Millerna. When the waiter finished giving them their drinks Millerna looked at Van and let a small smile cross her face.

"Cheer up, woman," Millerna joked as she prodded Van in the side with her finger.

"Don't call me woman," Van replied roughly. Millerna cocked her head to the side, wondering what had happened this time. Sure Van was usually anti-social and distant around her but this time something was definitely different. His usual sarcastic remarks didn't hold the same, well… almost light-hearted tone about them.

  "So, are you going to tell me what's wrong then?" Millerna finally inquired before taking a sip of her cool lemonade. Van simply scowled, ignoring her. "Seriously woman, you're acting just like a woman! Bottling up all your emotions and been sulky to the world… you're much worse than usual, woman."

  "Call me that one more time and I'm leaving," snapped Van, warning lining his voice in the clear implication he would go through with the threat. Annoyed, Millerna's brows went together as she tried to think of another approach.

  "Fine," sniffed Millerna playing absently with her napkin. "Don't tell me what's wrong. Keep it bottled up and get all ugly out of worry, see if I care."

  Inwardly groaning Van figured that perhaps it would do him good to tell Millerna what was wrong. It's not like she'd understand, and perhaps it might make her shut up.

"Well if you must know," Van began, irritation smothering his voice, "Dornkirk called." The mock impish twinkle in Millerna's eyes extinguished like a flame in the wind, and her straw fell out from between her pink lips as she blinked. Millerna's lips hung limply open as she began to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

"What'd he say?" she finally asked, her cheery face now set in a face of true concern. Van toyed with his drink, his whole face almost darkened as he wagered whether or not to tell her.

There was a quiet clink as two plates were set in front of them, and Van gratefully dug in, buying time. Millerna chewed a piece of lettuce thoughtfully, sneaking Van a few glances, her curiosity beginning to grow.

"Well?" she asked, knowing she was taking a gamble. Van would either shut up, be angry for the rest of the day, or spill. She waited for his verdict.

"He said a bunch of crap," Van finally admitted, running a hand briefly through his raven black locks, "Like how did I get up in this company. Drugs or sex."

"What the--" Millerna began, but pushed aside her own ranting for later, "Van, you know you made your way up this company fair and square."

"Did I really?" Van asked, doubt seeping into his now bitter tone. "I mean, that's what everyone thinks, isn't it? There must be some sort of back bone to their rumors."

Millerna's violet eyes flashed with anger as she set her fork down sharply.

"Do you think I'm such an awful boss that I'd let you just float your way up this company; this company my father and sister built? That I was afraid if I didn't promote you you'd take Marlene to court? You worked your way up fair and square Van," she told him. "Don't you dare degrade me like that or I will fire you."

Van kept his expression the same, however inside he was slightly taken a back by Millerna's harsh tone. He had to admit, in an odd way he felt better.

"Just, I'm sorry," Van muttered, his head lowering. "Everything's been getting to me. Everyone thinks they know me... That I'm just this arrogant player." And then, more to himself, then Millerna, he added quietly. "Even Hitomi."

"Hitomi?" Millerna asked, trying to calm down her smirk that was playing on her lips.

"Don't mock me," Van replied witheringly, "Blondie," he muttered indignantly.

"Watch it, buddy," Millerna warned, her eyes narrowing to slits. "I could show you many blondes with better personalities and intelligence then you," she threatened, pointing her fork at him, a crouton skewered in between the spokes.

"Rawr," Van smirked, his eyes twinkling, and Millerna laughed despite herself.

Nudging Millerna slightly, Van took a bite of his pasta, his mood improved.

"So how's Dryden," Van teased, and Millerna inhaled sharply, as if offended.

"Stop it!" Millerna complained, "I'm not going out with him!"

"Even after all these years," Van mused. "Poor guy. What does he see in you?"

"Hey," Millerna snapped, her violet eyes filled with laughter. "Shut your trap, woman."

"That's it I'm leaving," Van said, his voice dead serious. Millerna peered closely into his maroon eyes, and for the briefest moment there was a playful flicker. As Van's chair screeched as he stood up, Hitomi looked up at the noise, seeing the grim expression on Van's space. Millerna broke into a big grin, and got up, yanking on Van, nearly spilling his drink on him. Hitomi's face fell. He certainly had cheered up.

 Watching as Van sat back down, Millerna smiling coyly at Van, the amicable chit-chat they seemed so absorbed in Hitomi lost all focus, only knowing one thing that she was sure of: it had been personal. What had annoyed Van that morning had truly been Hitomi, not simply a foul mood.

The words of encouragement that Gaddes had given her before melted away and once more the angry words of Van, the hurtful words of Holly, filled Hitomi's head once again making her wish to throw aside her plate and hit her head against the table to make them stop. A slow, sick feeling spread through her stomach making her feel as though she might retch up her lunch, self doubt and anger at her very nature tearing her apart.

Noticing Hitomi absently playing with her food, tears slowly filling up her brilliant emerald eyes, Gaddes cocked his head sideways in concern, speaking softly while touching her hand to get Hitomi's attention. "You okay? What's wrong?"

"Actually…" Hitomi started, suddenly very much wanting to be alone. "I think I'm going to be sick…" Quickly she stood up, feeling as though the restaurant's very air had been sucked out and she was floating aimlessly, lost, in outer space.

"You do look kind of green," Gaddes muttered grabbing their jackets from the spare chair beside the table and holding Hitomi's elbow for support. "Want me to take you home?"

"Yes," Hitomi conceded weakly following Gaddes out of the restaurant, glancing back on more time at Van and Millerna, lost in their cheerful conversation.

++++++++++++++++++++

Weakly Hitomi pushed open the door to her building, moving aimlessly with the crowd as they pushed towards the elevator. Excitement was in the air for it was Friday, the end of the work week. Her fellow employees chatted amicably about their plans, the cheery atmosphere following them into the elevator making Hitomi want to jump out and walk up the stairs, no matter how many stories up it was. 

Last night after Gaddes had dropped her off at her apartment she had laid on the couch weakly for an hour until she had gotten up enough strength to crawl to the bathroom and get a hot bath ready to soak in. After about an hour of soaking, when the water was starting to get chilly, the phone rang and quickly Hitomi leapt out of the bath and dashed to grab her mobile from her bedroom. Yukari, having successfully gotten Makoto to sleep, offered Hitomi to come out for the weekend on Saturday and spend some time with her "favorite kid." Wanting to get away, something to boost her ego, she had accepted with the feeling that she didn't want to go back to her apartment for anything in the world.  Just the thought of getting away, no matter how little time, was enough to sustain Hitomi and help her get through the last day of work for the week.

Setting her briefcase on her desk she eased herself out of her jacket and glanced at the phone, contemplating if she should call her parents just for a talk. She wasn't officially clocked in for another five minutes and, well, she felt like a little motherly comfort would ago a long way.

As she reached for the phone a familiar voice, the very once that had been plaguing her for the past day, greeted her from behind her desk, hovering in the entry of her cubicle. "Hi Hitomi, how is my new favorite co-worker?"

Turning around, trying hard to plaster a smile on her face, Hitomi looked at Holly standing in the doorway and tried to act surprised. "Oh, hi, good morning."

Without an invitation Holly strolled into the cubicle and positioned herself by sitting on Hitomi's desk, swinging her legs about lazily. "So, about our conversation that got cut off yesterday…"

Hitomi visibly flinched, mentally screaming at herself for showing such a reaction. What she had to do was play cool, act natural… tune Holly out….

"I'm just looking out for you, you know? I've seen many a woman with her heart broken and don't want to see it happen to someone as, well, happy and nice as you," Holly said sappily, smiling sweetly as though addressing a child. "You've just got to be careful of him –"

"Glad to see you two are so productive at work," came a deep voice from the entrance of Hitomi's cubicle. Glancing up at Holly first she found the red head frozen, her expression resembling that of a deer caught in headlights. Turning her chair around she found Van standing there, his maroon eyes staring coldly at Holly, an expression of which Hitomi considered made him look possible of murder.

   "Good morning Mr. Fanel," Holly stumbled jumping off Hitomi's desk and straightening her skirt. She was no idiot; Van had a temper that could be provoked and obviously she had done something to trigger it. The most she could do now was follow his commands and get out of there, fast.

"Morning Mr. Fanel," mumbled Hitomi looking down, avoiding looking at Van at all costs. Van, too annoyed with Holly, failed to notice the behavior in Hitomi and continued glaring at the red head.

 "Considering the work day started a good hour ago I find it impossible to believe that you finished your work for the day," he growled, his anger slowly getting the better of him. "What could have been so interesting that you two had to discuss it now?"

 "Oh!" Holly started bubbly looking at Hitomi somewhat vainly in support. "She had a few questions about the office and I was giving her a few pointers of how things work around here," Holly smiled reaching to pat Hitomi on the shoulder, her glossy pink lips turned up in a cheerful grin.

Hitomi's eyes widened at Holly's statement but she offered no evidence against the statement. It was true that Holly had been offering her advice about how things work around here, just probably not the kind Van would think 'work appropriate' probably.

 Giving the pair a skeptical look Van jerked his head towards Holly's desk, his maroon eyes unreadable. "Well then, I suggest you discuss it on your own time when we aren't so swamped."

Holly smiled her charming smile, one that had made many men willingly turn to putty in her hand, and turned to Hitomi before exiting. "Well, just think about what I said, ya know?"

Mumbling a reply she wasn't even sure what it had been, Hitomi continued staring at the carpet, the stupid helpless feeling still in her. In the corner of her eye she could see Van, still standing there, his stance somewhat tense about something. 'Yeah you idiot, you make him mad and nervous, no wonder he's that way,' Hitomi mentally berated herself turning back to her desk, hoping Van would get the message to get lost.

"Hey, good morning to you too," smiled Van, his tone much friendlier than it had been a few short minutes ago. From the way Hitomi was acting around him he was sure she was still angry about what had happened yesterday. Part of him felt, or knew, that she hadn't taken it that seriously and would probably forget about the incident by the end of the day.

Ignoring Van, Hitomi pulled open her file cabinet and started typing, her posture rigid. Raising an eyebrow, Van was about to approach and question her, thinking perhaps she had taken his mood yesterday more seriously than he thought, only to be quickly cut off by Hitomi's harsh tone.

"I'm sorry I was slacking off on the job, Mr. Fanel, it won't happen again," Hitomi said formally refusing to turn around and let Van see her stone cold face. If she turned around he would see the hurt in her eyes, something she had yet to discover the skill to mask. It was always her eyes which gave away what she was feeling, something she had hated all her life, and something she certainly didn't want Van to see. It would probably make him mad or something stupid like that.

Surprised, Van took a step back, catching the icy tones in her voice. Yeah, she was definitely still mad about yesterday, but something in her tone told him there was more to it, something he wasn't catching. Giving an uneasy smile to the back of her head Van turned around, leaving without a word. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Typing away at his computer, Van nibbled on his lip as the light of the screen reflected on his face. He could hear the sound of a phone ringing not too far off, and as he waited for something to load he leaned back in his chair.

Peeling off his blazer and stretching his arms over his head, Van savored the feeling of his muscles stretching. Flopping his limbs back down, his muscles relaxing, Van loosened his tie briskly and turned to face his desk which was cluttered by papers and pens. Jotting down a note and ripping that sheet of paper out of the paper pad, Van stuck it near his computer as he dropped the pen randomly somewhere on his desk. About to resume typing, his gaze fell on a sketch. His maroon eyes frowned for a moment, and then he remembered.

Hitomi.

She had apologized sincerely, had subdued her pride. That feeling of being impressed returned, and he turned the small piece of paper in his hands, the sheet delicate, like her in some senses. But paper can cut. He smiled wryly as he remembered the forgotten banter he had with her when they first met.

Reflecting on the previous day, Van winced as his words replayed in his head. Clutching the sketch, Van groaned as he tilted his head back, running a hand through his raven black hair.

Why did his temper have such control over him? He thought he had already mastered the art of hiding things.

A part of him wanted her to know about his past, he wanted her to understand so much. But he wouldn't ever tell her. Eventually it would stab him in the back. Sighing, his eyes scanned the neat writing of Hitomi, the note short. Yet… it still seemed to manage to hit a string.

Tucking the sketch away in his nearly empty drawer, Van leaned his chin in his hands as he looked out the windows of his office. She had every right to be angry. He needed space right now though; he was and never would be the type to apologize immediately.

   It was one of the many things he hated about himself.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

23.7.03:
MT: Hurrah! Another update! :D
CxV: I WANT TO BE CHO CHANG!!! *sobs hysterically* THEY STILL HAVEN'T CAST ANYONE! THIS ISN'T FAIR! DID YOU SEE SOME OF THE PEOPLE THEY CONSIDERED?!?! ACK! I COULD BEAT THEM! Except for Kwon Boa... BUT THE OTHERS! *deep breaths*I'm seriously hyperventilating.
MT: Yeah… and here I am with my concerns about art school…
CxV: n_n;;; *whistles* Uh.... *shoves Harry/Draco wallpaper at MT and runs off*
MT: haha, considering I don't like the movies I'll say the thought counts. :p
CxV: with DANIEL AND TOM IN THEM? *Faints after muttering anne is crazy*
Van: *knocks both MT and CxV out* Sigh... well, please read and review and support in the insanity

Disclaimer: We do not own Escaflowne in any shape or form and are making no money off of this.