"We got the afternoon, you got this room for two, one thing I've left to do, discover me, discovering you," Hitomi half hummed half sang, feeling better as she had cooled down slightly. Swinging her coffee mug, her green gaze scanned the simple pink lettering on the mug reading 'Worrying about something that may never happen is like paying interest on money you may never borrow.' Yukari had given her the cup when she had gone over last time, and Hitomi thought it was cute.
As her heels clicked against the floor, she entered the kitchen, sticking her mug under the coffee machine. Pressing the large black button firmly, delicious black brown liquid gushed out; small wafts of steam just visible. Bringing the mug over to the counter and pouring in cream and sugar, Hitomi didn't hear someone else entering the kitchen as she stirred the contents into a light caramel color.

"Hitomi," came an alto tenor voice just as Hitomi had picked up her mug and turned around. Spilling some of the hot coffee on her hands from the sudden noise, Hitomi winced in slight pain. Setting the mug down quickly and grabbing a paper napkin, Hitomi wiped her hands as she muttered a 'Mr. Fanel', staring at the floor sullenly.

"How's it coming along?" Van tried, and Hitomi shrugged as she gave an incoherent reply. "Are you alright?" Van asked finally, "I mean, in the beginning you were always teasing me and now not one word." The corners of Hitomi's lips twitched slightly, as if to smile, but to Van's disappointment she remained serious.

Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity





"Nice weather we've been having," Van commented, trying to remain cheerful as Hitomi nodded blankly.
"Mmhmm."
"Hitomi, why are you... Doing this," Van finished lamely, his voice softening much to his infuriation. He had half a mind to dump Hitomi's mug of coffee on his head before he was totally lost to the side of darkness.
"I'm not doing anything," Hitomi replied innocently, and as she blinked calmly Van let out a noise of frustration.

"Damn right," Van replied, "You think I can't see?" he added, and taking a brisk step forward Hitomi instinctively stepped backward, her calm face breaking into a worried one.
"I have to work, Van," Hitomi said, steadying her voice as she kept her gaze away from Van's.
"Hitomi," Van said quietly, and extending his hand he turned her face towards his. Hitomi tried not to shake as his skin touched hers, as her chest tightened, and her breath caught in her throat. Van abruptly dropped his hand and stepped back. Should any one see him in such a position it would be questionable.
"I'm sorry about yesterday," he apologized, adding nothing more. He made no comment about touching her, and for that Hitomi was grateful. Hitomi flickered her gaze to the floor, then back to Van. His expression was no longer blended with the rush of the world. It was like he was alone, standing still.

The sarcastic part of Hitomi pointed out that he WAS standing still. Smacking that part of herself mentally, Hitomi's face broke out into the tiniest of smiles, and she had trouble using her lungs as the tension in the air was thick.

"I..." she began, "I guess I'm sorry too," she apologized, and as Van looked at her worriedly her smile broadened, the buzzing in her head quieting. Van reciprocated the smile, and relaxed visibly.
"So how is work?" Van asked, leaning against the light colored wall.
"Boring," Hitomi admitted, and Van nodded.
"It can be," he agreed, "But it does get better if you can find a release."

Hitomi's gaze was over Van's shoulder, and she saw a rush of red hair and designer clothing. Holly's words thundered in her head, and her smile slipped away as she pieced together the two pieces of information.

Van was smiling easily, and suddenly Hitomi felt sick. Picking up her mug from the counter she brushed past Van, her eyes back to how they had been in the first place.

"I have to go," she whispered, and Van's eyes flickered in confusion.

Stepping out, about to follow Hitomi, he met Holly's cat like gaze which was trained on the green eyed brunette.

So ask yourself is the loving really gone
So I could ask myself really what is going wrong
In this world that we living in people keep on giving in...



Looking from woman to woman, he began to feel a sting of anger envelop him. Surely she wouldn't believe... His gaze panned the room, and several girls were simpering at him. Looking back at Hitomi, he noticed she was looking at the girls too. Clenching his fist, Van snapped his head at Holly, glaring. She felt Van's gaze on her, and turning with a flirtatious smile she paled at the anger flaming in his eyes. Sitting down quickly, and burying herself in her work, Van crossed the office to Hitomi's cubicle, offended that she thought and believed such things.

Part of him hoped that this was all a misunderstanding on his part.

Barging into her cubicle, not caring that a few employees had stopped their work to stare at their angered boss, he roughly grabbed Hitomi's shoulder and turned her around to face him, to look him in the eye to see if she truly believed all she heard.
"What!? What was that about!?" he yelled, his stance rigid. For some reason he had thought Hitomi was different and if she bought what she had heard then she was no different from the others. Part of Van was glad he hadn't told Hitomi about himself, especially as the emerald eyes looked up in surprise into his own, slowly filling with anger.
"What was what about?" Hitomi retorted, snapping her pen onto her desk as she shrugged out of his grasp. A few employees shushed each other as they watched intently, all work in the office screeching to a halt.

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong




"I already apologize about losing my temper the other day," Van said in a deadly voice, "And you still pull this hot and cold on me."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hitomi replied delicately, her eyes stinging at his thunderous gaze.
"No," Van replied, forcing on a sarcastic smile, "But I suppose Holly could tell you," he snapped, whirling his gaze to the redhead. Holly winced, and averting her gaze the troublemaker busied herself by organizing her desk.
"Holly hasn't been telling me anything," Hitomi argued, "I'm capable of thinking for myself."
Growling in anger, Van moved his attention to the office. "Get back to work!" Everyone immediately turned to their computers, hiding behind them. Even if they were insane, they would never want Van's wrath to be unleashed onto them.
"Hitomi, I want the truth," Van demanded, his voice quieter, "What has Holly been telling you?"
Hitomi's green eyes, which were stinging lightly, met Van's angry face. However his eyes were almost pleading.
"Nothing that I had believed," Hitomi replied quietly, "Until you confirmed it yourself."

Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek?




"Really," Van replied coldly, "I didn't realize." As his gaze stabbed through her, Hitomi bit her lip, and before a tear could drop she gathered her things and brushed past him. Van muttered something as she left, and she kicked at herself, wishing she hadn't heard him. "I was wrong about you. You're just like them."

Wiping a stray tear with the back of her hand, Hitomi saw Millerna coming out of the bathroom near the entrance.

"Millerna, I'm going home," Hitomi said, a headache building in her head. Seeing the tears welling in her emerald eyes, Millerna nodded, and patted Hitomi on the shoulder.
"Go home and rest," the blonde nodded, and as Hitomi rushed past the glass doors through the elevator, Millerna noticed Van standing there, anger evident on his face despite the hurt overtaking it. She turned back to the glass doors where Hitomi had exited, then back at Van.
"Oh gods," she muttered, "Van, in my office."

Glaring at the blonde Van swiftly moved out of the cubicle, away from the scene of the fight, happy to be getting away. The woman had the nerve! She seriously was like everyone else! Why had he thought that perhaps she was different, that perhaps he could tell her about his past? Let her see the real him.

Hah, like he'd ever make that mistake again!
Pushing open the door to Millerna's office Van sat roughly down on the chair, a scowl on his face as he stared off into space, his thoughts on throttling Hitomi senseless. What he really needed with a cigarette to calm his nerves, and to spite Hitomi.
Shaking her head ruefully Millerna shut the door to her office against her better judgment, not wanting another scene to happen when she told Van what she thought of the certain fight, but fear of being locked in a room with an angry Van. Would people hear her scream if he tried to kill her?

Sitting down gracefully Millerna pushed her keyboard out of the way and folded her arms on the desk, shifting her weight to her elbows as she watched Van. Looking up at her, Van simply glared, clearly showing that he didn't want her to lecture him or to butt into his business. Letting out a long sigh Millerna rolled her eyes and decided to get to the point. No use beating around the bush, especially with Van holding fire.
"I know that you don't want to talk about it Van," Millerna sighed as Van's eyes narrowed, his stance frozen. If looks could kill Millerna would be six feet under. Irritation perked in Millerna and she glared back, her eyes flashing. "Don't you dare take out your anger on me Van, I'm not the one you're really mad at."
Point match Millerna.

"I don't know what to do about the two of you! I've heard from various employees that you two have been bickering since the day you guys met. What kind of working environment does it make for the others, huh?"
"A real world work experience," growled Van yanking a letter opener off her desk and twirling it aimlessly with his hand, trying to distract himself.

The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, come on (I don't know)




Heavily a sigh off annoyance Millerna picked up the pitch of her voice, knowing Van was slowly tuning her out. "No Van, it makes it an uncomfortable one. Fighting in the middle of the office is distracting and makes everyone around you guys uncomfortable." Van remained silent, still playing with the letter opener, but listening. Softening her tone Millerna got off her seat and looked out her huge window at the city below, regretting what she was going to say. "If you two don't get your act together I'm afraid I'll have to fire one of you, though I seriously hope it doesn't result in that."

Standing up Van placed the letter opener back on the desk and glared down at Millerna conveying he wasn't exactly, well, pleased with the statement she had said. Before Van could offer an argument (or punch) Millerna rested her hands on the desk, staring down at the desk wearily.

"Just try and get along. The words you guys say to each other hurt both of you. I'm sure she said something to provoke you," she said hastily as Van's jaw tightened, his fist clenching as his side. "But obviously something bugged her to get her to make you mad. All I know is the tears I saw in her eyes and how angry you are now."
Sitting back down at her desk Millerna pulled the keyboard towards herself and started replying to a few messages. Not looking up she concluded with finality in her voice. "Think about it Van."
Think about it he would.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scrawling a few more notes and signatures Van pushed the papers together and put it in the out basket, actually pleased that despite the foul mood he had gotten the work done and would be out of the office at five. As he placed the papers in the basket his eyes rested upon the sketch and the nagging annoyed/sad feeling once again crept in his body. Now the work day was over and he couldn't block the thoughts out as they flowed freely, taking hold of his body, smacking him helplessly over the head until he wanted to crawl under the desk for some form of sanctuary.
As much as he hated to admit it, Millerna was right about them. Their words cut each other, leaving them raw and exposed with their vulnerabilities. What she had said that afternoon, what she assumed, had really hurt him. It made him want to loose hope, believe that perhaps he truly was a hopeless case.

But, Millerna said that Hitomi had been crying.

Why did he care! Let the woman cry! It's what she deserved for making those assumptions about him and his character! She didn't know him and by avoiding him Hitomi certainly couldn't make those stupid assumptions people had made through the years about him. Running his hands through his hair Van let out a long breath and closed his eyes, wondering if the past would always be there to haunt him, prevent him from moving on with his life.

As he sat there with his head in his hands, listening to the slowly dimming sounds of the office around him, he came to focus on one thought: She was making assumptions because she didn't know him. It was equally both their faults and, by Van pushing her away, he certainly wasn't going to get her to see the real him, unclouded by the myths and stories that flowed through the office like a ragging river.


He would have to get to know her, to save himself, to break from his shell and embrace the world, perhaps finding a true friend or even someone he could spend his life with. Van's feelings towards Hitomi were all jumbled at the moment, nothing was clear but one thing:

Van definitely wouldn't know unless he did something. Standing up he shrugged into his jacket and grabbed a few items, stuffing them into his briefcase, and closed the door to his office. The office for the most part was pretty empty, most of the employees having left at the designated four-thirty time, not wanting to work a minute of overtime. Hesitantly Van glanced towards Hitomi's cubicle, the scene of the earlier fight, and slowly a thought formed in his mind.
He would go see her tonight, apologize uncharacteristically on the same day, let her know that he wanted to get to know her, let her see the real him.

Turning the corner to the elevator Van almost let out a groan as a mass of females stood in wait, chatting amongst themselves as they awaited the return of the elevator to deliver them to the parking garage and main level. Feeling not up for the giggles and girl chat, not to mention the ogling, Van quickly turned around and walked back down the hall towards the stairs figuring perhaps the exercise would do him some good.

Ten minutes later he sat in his car, hesitant to go through with his plan. How would Hitomi react to his showing up un-announced, especially after that fight…
Starting the engine resolutely, Van checked over his shoulder, pulled out, and headed down the path he had taken the other day when he took Hitomi home, slight fear prickling in the base of his stomach.

I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
...Where is the love?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

13.9.03:
CxV: BILLY TALENT CD COMING OUT ON THE 16TH!!!!
MT: REALLY!?
CxV: *sings obnoxiously* CAUSE THIS IS HOW IT IS AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!!! Hey, you've only heard one song by them why are you so excited? *grins and whacks you*
MT: But... *smiles* ... My exchange student is distracting me...
CxV: Lies! Anywhoo, I think the only hat I look good in are trucker hats..... _
MT: *pat pat* It'll be okay... do my perspective? :)
CxV: Uh... I'd LOVE to but.... Uh.... WE HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE WE DON'T OWN THOSE SONG LYRICS! Ahehehe ^^;;
MT: ... you're right! We don't and... yes... *finishes lamely*
CxV: It's called "Where Is The Love" by Black Eyed Pea.... The song grows on you *grins*
MT: Okay. Well, read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: We do not own Escaflowne or the song lyrics in any shape or form. Copyright of their respective (powerful) owners. :D