I've changed my mind!

~9~

The soles of Sirius' shoes made dull 'clunks' on the stone floor of the corridor as he walked towards the Faculty bathroom. As he was about to turn around a corner, the sound of voices drifted in the air. Thinking nothing of it, he turned the corner and felt his blood boil.

Snape and Renae walking away from him. Towards her room. Snape holding on to her arm.

That slimy, worthless bastard!

Sirius was about to run over to them, but thought better of it. They were talking, not arguing or throwing insults at each other. Oh, Merlin, no…don't tell me she befriended HIM! He decided to follow them, quietly of course, and find out exactly how close they had become.

As Snape and Renae reached the violet painting, Sirius ducked behind a suit of armor.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Snape asked, putting his hand on Renae's shoulder.

"Yeah, Severus, thanks. I just want to lay down for a while," she responded.

Sliding his hand down her arm he said, "You really must eat something."

Renae smiled at Severus and patted him on the shoulder. "I know, don't worry, I'm not about to starve myself; it wouldn't be healthy for either of us."

'Either of us?' What the hell are you talking about Renae? Sirius thought to himself.

Snape gave her a quick hug. Sirius pulled his wand out, trying to decide which hex he'd use on him.

"I'll bring you dinner tonight, if that would be alright?" Snape asked.

Snape, being NICE? I think I'm going to be sick. For a moment, Sirius thought he felt his stomach lurch.

"Alright," she answered with a smile.

As Snape walked away he said, "And remember, Renae, you need to tell Black soon."


Renae leaned against the wall. "Merlin, Severus, I know…would you stop it already!"

As Snape disappeared around a corner, Renae turned to face the violet portrait and gasped.

Sirius had stepped out from behind the suit of armor and stood, staring, with his arms crossed. "Tell me what, Renae?" She turned ghostly pale. "Falcon." The panel opened, as he took Renae's arm. "Let's take this inside."

****

She felt the world drop out from under her when she turned and saw Sirius standing there. Oh dear Merlin, how long was he there…and what did he hear?!

"Tell me what, Renae?" His arms were crossed, something he only did when he was seriously upset. Renae couldn't think quickly enough. What to say…what to say… "Falcon." He took her arm as the panel opened. "Let's take this inside."

He led her through the narrow passage and straight to the couch. Renae felt sweat beading up on her forehead. Sirius motioned for her to take a seat next to him. "So, tell me what?" he repeated, a bite in his voice.

"Ah, ah, nothing really," she stammered. Damn it Renae, don't stammer.

Sirius sat back, a hard look on his face. "Really? It seemed rather important to Snape, so it must be something."

Now is definitely not the time to tell him you're expecting his child.

"He just wanted to make sure I told you I wasn't feeling good, th, that's all." Shit!

"You're lying." He didn't take his eyes off her for a second, and it was really beginning to unnerve her.

"No, I'm not! I really haven't felt good lately!" she shouted, glaring back at him.

"Then why did you run to Snivellus? And since when have the two of you been on a first name basis?" Sirius shouted back, sitting up straight as his gaze fixed on her.

"I've been talking to him ever since Aleanor's funeral, if you must know. And it doesn't matter how long we've been on a first name basis, he's a friend!"

Sirius leaped off the couch. "A friend? Are you mad? I wouldn't trust Snape with the time of day, let alone what I think!"

Renae jumped up off the couch, staring him down. "Well, if you'd pull your head out of your ass for one minute, then maybe you'd see he isn't all that bad!"

Furious, Sirius' face turned scarlet, something only Severus had been able to achieve before. "My head out of my arse? What the hell happened to make you stand up for the bastard!"

"Don't call him a bastard! He's my friend!" Renae felt the anger boiling inside of her. They had never fought like this before. "He's been there for me lately, which is more than I can say for you! You haven't shown your face around here in over a week!"

Fire ignited in Sirius' eyes. "Did it ever occur to you that I've been risking my life for you? I was nearly killed in an ambush yesterday! But noooo, apparently that didn't cross your mind, you were too busy running off to Snape!"

Tears were welling up in Renae's eyes. She couldn't control them; she didn't even know why she had chosen that particular moment to cry.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. After turning his gaze to the fire for a moment, he looked back at Renae. "What's really going on with you and Snape? And don't say 'nothing', just tell me!"

****

Sirius was waiting for her to answer, as she stood there crying. It always wrenched his heart when she would cry, but he had to know. He saw the two of them with his own eyes, something was going on, and he feared the worst.

Renae wiped away some tears with her hand. "Nothing."

Sirius snapped. "Damn it Renae! Why are you lying to me? I thought we didn't have secrets," she fell back into the couch, crying harder, "or is he your secret? Is that it? You've chosen him over me!"

She looked up at him, shock written all over her face. "No, Sirius, you know I love you!"

His heart was telling him to believe her, but his mind kept getting in the way. "Well, what else am I suppose to think when I see my girlfriend and worst enemy arm in arm? You tell me."

She just sat there, wiping away the tears that continued to stream down her face.

He didn't want to continue this conversation anymore, he had to get some fresh air and clear his mind. Without another word, he turned and left.

~~~*~~~

"Renae?"

Renae looked up from her tear-drenched pillow to see Severus holding a plate full of food. "Renae what happened?" He quickly put the plate down on the table and walked to her bed.

Renae sat up, trying to stop the tears that had been flowing for nearly four hours. She had fallen asleep several times, only to wake up from a dream where she was reliving her fight with Sirius, tears streaming down her face again.

"Sirius… We had a fight… A really bad fight."

Severus sat down on the bed beside her. "You told him?"

"No, I couldn't, not with him accusing me of cheating on him."

Severus' eyebrow raised. "Cheating? With whom?" he asked in a surprisingly amused tone.

Renae laughed while wiping more tears away. "You."

"What in bloody hell would give Black that idea?" he asked again, seeming even more pleased.

"He apparently saw us leaving the Faculty bathroom, you holding my arm."

He handed Renae a handkerchief. "Well, I could see how he could misconstrue that. Not the fastest snitch in the match, is he?"

The dark grin of satisfaction on his face was the last thing she needed to see at the moment. Rather than scold him, she decided to ignore it and continue to dry her eyes.

He took her chin and turned her face towards him. "You've been crying all day haven't you? You look dreadful."

"Thanks, you sure know how to cheer a girl up." He chuckled at her sarcasm. "Is it really dinner time already?"

"Yes," he answered as he walked to the table, pulling out a chair, "I tried to bring something that may agree with your stomach."

Renae went over and sat in the seat he held out for her. "Thanks." She leaned over and smelled the food. Severus sat in the other chair, watching for any signs of her becoming sick again. Smelling the food again, she smiled. "So far, so good."

****

Sirius wanted to get away, so he decided to take a walk through muggle London. It felt good, every once in a while, to shed his robes and cloak. As he was walking, he tried to think of something to do to take his mind off of his fight with Renae. It was then that a loud rumbling noise caught his attention. Riding along the street was a person on a motorcycle.

Sirius grinned.

~~~*~~~

Renae had been doing better ever since the night Severus brought her dinner. She hadn't heard from Sirius in two days, and felt it best to leave him to cool down. She only had a week and a half left until Halloween, and if she didn't manage to tell Sirius she was pregnant by then, Severus was going to 'step in' as he put it. Renae knew that would only make matters worse.

Walking to her classroom to do some grading, she bumped into Severus as he came around the corner. "Oh, Renae, it's you."

"Yes, Severus, so only a mild scolding, please."

He lightly chuckled, then noticed some students look at him funny. "Watch where you're going!" he bellowed. The students' eyes widen and they quickly disappeared around the corner.

"Nice save."

"I do have a reputation to uphold." He began walking along side her. "Have you heard from Black?"

"No, nothing. But I did set up that doctor's appointment."

"You're not going to that Muggle, are you?" She could hear the disgust in his voice.

Renae grabbed the handle of the door and turned to look at him. "Yes, I am. If I go to one of the mid-witches, someone would see me, and word would spread."

He rolled his eyes. "It will spread anyways, when you do."

"Witty with the jokes, aren't we?" she retorted sarcastically, as she purposely opened the door to block his face.

~~~*~~~

Sirius felt awful. Actually, he felt quite disgusted with himself. He had actually accused Renae of falling for Snape. Merlin, what's wrong with me? The memory of seeing her burst into tears, as he continued to yell at her, made him nauseous.

For days it had bothered him, but he just hadn't built up the courage to face her after what he had said. He wouldn't blame her if she never forgave him for being such a paranoid, uncaring twat.

Wait, did I just insult myself?

Yes, you did. And you deserved it.

Great. Now I have TWO voices.

Make that three, I agree with the other two.

Sirius wanted to laugh at his own thoughts, but he was too depressed. Perhaps another ride on my new motorcycle? He quickly grabbed a cloak and headed for the door.

****

Renae just had to get some chocolate frogs. HAD TO. Merlin, I'm craving already! Grabbing her cloak, she headed out of her room and towards the Entrance Hall. It was time she visited Hogsmeade and Honeydukes.

As she walked out of Honeydukes with a bag full of chocolate frogs, she decided to stop for a drink, even if she could only have a pumpkin juice. Entering the Three Broomsticks, she sat at an empty table in the corner and ordered her drink. While she waited, she opened a chocolate frog. Tears began welling up in her eyes.

Sirius had introduced her to chocolate frogs.

Why the hell am I crying over a damn candy? Trying to avoid the real reason, she told herself, it's the hormones.

****

He never really thought about where he was flying to, he just seemed to end up there, and today he ended up landing behind the Three Broomsticks. Huh, a Butterbeer does sound good right now! Sirius put the kickstand down on his motorcycle and made his way inside.

Walking in, he quickly noticed someone sitting at a table in the corner, their arms crossed on the table and their head down. Before he turned to find a table, they lifted their head and Sirius swallowed, hard. It was Renae, and she was crying.

Sirius knew he had to talk to her, he had to apologize, he just couldn't bear seeing her like this. Quickly he made his way to her table.

"Renae."

She looked up at him, her face red from crying. "Sirius."

"May I sit with you?" She nodded and began wiping away her tears. Sirius, becoming nervous, sat down, trying to think of what to say. An awkward silence fell.

"Can we talk, because this silence is driving me crazy." Renae finally spoke.

He lightly chuckled. "Sorry, I wasn't sure what to say."

A weak smile crossed her face. "Neither did I."

"I'm sorry about what I said the other day. It was stupid, paranoid, and completely uncalled for."

She smiled. "Then you don't think I'm about to run off with Severus?"

"No. And could you please call him Snape around me, it's unnerving to hear you call him Severus." He gave a shiver, causing her to laugh.

"Yeah, okay."

He took her hand and scooted closer to her. "You forgive me then?"

"Yes, I forgive you," she answered in mock exasperation.

Sirius pulled her in for a kiss.

****

As they pulled away from each other, Renae contemplated telling Sirius her news. Before she could open her mouth to tell him, he spoke.

"Renae, something else has been on my mind, and I really need to talk to you about it. Could we go somewhere more private?"

Privacy sounded good, because then when he was finished, she could tell him she was pregnant. "Alright, where?"


He grinned. "How about my place. I have a new way to get there." He picked up her bag. "What's with the hoard of chocolate frogs?"

"I just haven't had any in a while." She was praying she wasn't blushing.

"Oh, well, come on." With a smile he grabbed her hand and led her outside. "You're going to love this!"

Renae knew that look, it was the 'boy with a new toy' look. Dear Merlin, now what did he do?

~~~*~~~

Sirius loved the feel of the breeze blowing in his hair with Renae's arms wrapped around his waist. She had laughed hysterically upon seeing the motorcycle, but eagerly hopped on behind him.

Slowly he landed, putting down the kickstand. Renae carefully dismounted. "Well, that was interesting," she laughed.

"I told you, you would love it." He loved seeing her smile. It seemed as though their fight never even happened. He led her inside. Renae made herself comfortable on the couch as Sirius put her bag of chocolate frogs on the table.

"So, what's on your mind?" she asked.

He joined her on the couch. "The other day, James asked me to join him and Lily for dinner. Dumbledore was going to be talking to them about some news he heard concerning them."

"And?"

He took a deep breath and released it before continuing. "You-Know-Who is after the Potters, all of them." Renae's face paled. "But we've figured out how to protect them."

"How, and who's 'we'?"

"Me, Remus, James, and Dumbledore. Before you ask, James tried to get a hold of Peter, but he couldn't. Anyways, we've decided to perform the Fidelius Charm."

Renae sat up, her eyes widening. "Well then, who's going to be the Secret Keeper?"

****

Sirius sat there, not answering. His silence answered her question.

"You are." He nodded.

"When are you doing it?"

"In two days, on the twenty fourth."

Renae didn't know what else to say. She knew he would do anything for his friends; especially James, they were practically brothers. Everyone knew that. Shit!

"Sirius, don't you think you're the first person You-Know-Who would suspect as their Secret Keeper, I mean everyone knows you two are like brothers."

"I suppose."

He didn't seem very concerned, while thoughts of raising their child alone popped into her mind. "What about Remus?"

"Remus? He gave us the idea, but he doesn't have the ability to hide as well as me. You know how his financial situation is, and how he gets ill."

"Peter then?" Renae knew her voice sounded a little panicked, but she didn't care.

****

"What, you think I'm incapable of keeping my best friend's secret?" he asked, feeling she thought him too immature to handle such a responsibility.

Renae's face flushed. "No, I didn't mean it that way!"

"Then how did you mean it?"

"I just worry about you, I'm afraid of losing you," she said, looking on the verge of tears.

You should have know that's what was worrying her…you're getting paranoid again! Sirius ran his hands along her arms. "Renae, Peter wouldn't be the best choice. You know what a nervous person he is. He'd be the last person anyone would chose to be their Secret Keeper. We felt I would be the best option."

That's when it hit him. The last person. Why hadn't he thought about it before? That would be even better! He had to talk to James, right away.

"Renae, I almost forgot I have an important meeting I have to go to. I'll take you back to the school." Getting up, he grabbed her bag off the table.

Looking at him questioningly, she stood up. "Alright."

~~~*~~~

Sirius gave Lily a smile as she opened the door for him. "Hi, Lily."

"Hi, Sirius. James is in the living room. Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, thanks."

Lily walked into the kitchen as Sirius made his way into the living room. James was sitting on the couch, closing a book he had been reading. "So, Sirius, what's on your mind?"

"I wanted to talk to you about the Fidelius Charm. I think we should change your Secret Keeper."

Shock spread over James' face. "What? Why? Don't you want to be our Secret Keeper? You're practically my brother for Merlin's sake!"

Sirius thought his best friend might react this way. "James, wait, listen to me. I DO want to help you, I'd love nothing more than to be your Secret Keeper, but I think it would be setting ourselves up for disaster."

"How do you mean?"

Lily walked in handing Sirius a cup of tea. "Thanks." After a long sip, he continued, "James, who's the first person Voldemort would suspect as your Secret Keeper if he figures out what we've done?"

Comprehension dawned on James' face. Lily, who had apparently been listening in from the kitchen, answered, "You, Sirius."

"Exactly. But, if we use someone else, someone he'd be least likely to suspect, your safety would be better kept."

James took a hold of Lily's hand. "Who? Remus?"

Sirius shifted in his seat. "Well, actually, I've been thinking… I've been wondering lately, how Voldemort even got wind of your current activites. Besides me, you, Crouch, and Dumbledore, who else knew what you were doing?"

James' face fell. "Remus." 


With a nod, Sirius said, "I'm not sure we can trust him. I think our plan's already in danger because Remus knows about it, but if we switch Secret Keepers, he'll still think it's me. I'll draw his attention away from your real Secret Keeper."

"Then who would we use?" Lily asked.

"Peter," Sirius answered.