*BACKSTAGE*






Verie: Ok everyone! We're going to attempt to go back to the original plot now!
Schu: .. Wait.. there was a PLOT?!
Nagi: I wasn't aware of this.
Omi: I don't remember a plot...
Brad: This was pointless from the beginning, there IS NO plot.
Shinigami: ... da?
Jimmy: hoe?
Yohji: Will the plot mess up my hair?
Ken: Apparently we're returning to the previous plot, so did it then?
Yohji: .. probably. I don't remember.
Ken: Neither do I.
Aya: ... I remember something involving fish...
Farf: ... Plots make God laugh....
Verie: .. This would be a lot easier if you all just yelled "THERE WAS A PLOT?!" out in unison.
Others: THERE WAS A PLOT?!
Verie: Thankyou. Anyhow, yes, I vaguely remember some form of plot. ... However, I don't remember what it was.
Jimmy: .. that's really pathetic.
Verie: it IS.
Narrator: ... You could always just read the scripts of the previous chapters...
Blue-Censor-Dot: ~censors out Schu's face~
Schu: .. I'm NOT amused.
Blue-Censor-Dot: ~floats there~
Schu: -.-
Verie: ... ~blinks at the dot, and then goes back to the Narrator~ Yes, I COULD do that. But WHY? When I can just bullshit through it! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shinigami: ... You've gotten into the Schu-crack again, haven't you no da?
Schu: ~throws the Dot at the Narrator~ Hey! You have to pay for that just like everybody else!!!
Verie: -.-; For the last time, I AM NOT ON CRACK!!! .. I don't need it, I act like it without it. >.;
Schu: .. Wait.. then how do you KNOW about the crack?!
Yohji: Everybody knows about the crack.
Schu: Shut up!
Verie: Schu, obviously.
Schu: Me?
Verie: no, other Schu.
Others (excluding Shinigami, Jimmy and Brad): ... other... Schu? O.o;;
Brad: I told you the day would come.
Verie: Shut up, Schu's existed for a long time now. ...and I'm trying to think of any other nicknames she had besides Schu... all I can think of is Witch and Raijin. .. So we'll go with Witch because it's less confusing.
Ken: .. not really. x.x
Verie: Quiet, you.
Shinigami: But he's voiced by Tomokazu Seki no da!
Verie: -.-; ANYHOW. Yeah, Witch spiked my coffee with Schu-crack, and that's how I know about it all.
Farfie/Hiei/Atticus/Sailor Mercury/Fuujin/Any other nickname I gave her that I don't remember right now: ~randomly pops up~ You weren't drinking coffee, you were drinking 7up, and you kept on calling it coffee.
Verie: .. that was an effect of the Schu-crack that Witch spiked it with. Now away! This is confusing enough with three real people! We don't need more!!!
Farf-Hiei: But it's amusing here. .. For no apparent reason.
Verie: .. Yes, for no apparent reason indeed. Now away! Away with you!! This is a shonen-ai zone! You don't like shonen-ai! Now off!
Farf-Hiei: You only say that because you CARE.
Verie: . . . ~falls over convulsing~ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!
Schu: Hey, she's got epilepsy too.
Verie: ~lightbulb~ I'll take away that knife that came with your Clue game!
Farf-Hiei: You don't know where I put it.
Verie: . . . True. .... ~grabs a butter knife~ Fetch! ~throws it far, far away. .. Despite the fact I can't throw worth crap. But I'm the author, and I say it went far far away!~
Farf-Hiei: KNIFE! ~runs off~
Verie: ... Thank Farfie. -.- Don't need more people. It's confusing enough as it is. Much less REAL people. Real people are scarier than characters.
Omi: They are. O.o;
Farf: This hurts God.
Verie: Anyhow.. no more real people! .. Other than Jim and Shinigami. They can stay.
Jim&Shinigami: YAY.
Verie: .. So yes--
~two people randomly run in and tackle Verie~
Mononoke Yohji&Kero Ken: BRAD!
Verie: x.x; the PAIN! THE NEVER CEASING PAAAAIIIIIIIN!!!! GET OFF! GET OFF NOW!!!
Mononoke: No ^_^
Verie: .. I hate you all.
Kero: And we love you! ~drags Verie away~
Verie: ~screaming bloody murder~
Others: . . .
Schu: That's something you don't see everyday.
Shinigami: What? Verie getting tackled by Mononoke and Kero, or the author getting dragged out of her own fic no da?
Schu: either/or.
Shinigami: The former happens fairly often no da. .. As in, everytime they're in the same room together no da.
Brad: She's gone! She's finally gone!
Shinigami: I'm just glad it wasn't me this time.
Jimmy: or me.
Nagi: What confuses me is that I would expect them to drag one of us away instead of Verie.
Omi: Quiet, you'll jinx it!
Others: ~look around in a paranoid fashion, waiting for them to come back~
Shinigami: Well, since Verie's being emotionally scarred for life and can't write scripts, I hereby declare myself the temporary-stand-in author no da!
Brad: .. How can you be the author when you're not even the one writing?
Shinigami: I don't know no da! And I don't care either no da!
Schu: That works then.
Shinigami: Anyhow, as my first action as new-Author, I declare that every scene must have a lemon!
Jimmy: NOOO!!! Not.. suitable.. for... twelve-year-olds!
Brad: . . . ~falls over convulsing~
Schu: YAY!
Others: ~purposely not reacting~
Brad: ~manages to lower his current status down to twitching~ That doesn't work with the current plot!
Shinigami: You said there wasn't a plot.
Brad: .. I changed my mind.
Nagi: That makes sense.
Brad: Silence!
Shinigami: ~hits Brad with a tessen~ No picking on Nagi no da!
Brad: Hey! >.; I refuse to be attacked by children!
Shinigami: ~hits Brad again~
Brad: Stop it!
Shinigami: Don't make me get my shakujo no da.
Brad: And let me guess... no one's going to help me at all here.
Others: YEP!
Brad: ... I hate you all.
Farf: This hurts God.
Shinigami: And the pairings aren't going to change no da. They're going to remain the same each time! Because I say so no da! So this fic is now officially SchuxBrad, AyaxKen, and NagixOmi no da!
Jimmy: Noooo... no lemons! Noooooo!
Shinigami: And pants are illegal! MWUAHAHAHAHAHHAHA- ... da.
Schu: .. I think I'm going to like this. ^_^
Shinigami: So am I no da!
Narrator: ... If this goes through, I quit. I don't do pornography.
Schu: Since when?
Narrator: Since I realized the cast was entirely men. >.>
Schu: Biggot.
Narrator: I'm the only narrator that will work with Verie. However, I'm certain there are plenty of yaoi narrators willing to work with Shinigami on the grounds that Verie doesn't come within 500 yards of them.
Schu: .. I see.
Shinigami: Also, I hereby declare Cho Hakkai to be MINE no da!
Jimmy: ... But you can't have him until Verie's dead... and until all of the best detectives in the world show that you were in no way the cause of her death.
Shinigami: .. that's a minor set-back, no da. But it's easily over-looked no da.
Omi: Except.. she's not dead. So her will can't go into effect until she IS dead.
Shinigami: I don't think Mono-chan saw the will O.o; so Verie's probably dead no da. She was plotting to kill her in order to get Hakkai anyway no da.
Jimmy: Thus why Verie wrote the will in the first place.
Brad: ... You children scare me. . Immensely.
Shinigami: And why are you wearing pants no da?! ~hits Brad again~
Brad: >.
~Verie randomly enters, twitching and holding a golf club~
Schu: O.O ~hides behind Brad~
Brad: Jesus christ.... -.-
Farf: ~glares at Brad~
Brad: ~shuts up~
Verie: AHEM.
Shinigami: ... DA. o.o;;
Verie: One) It takes a lot more than an obsessive Yohji fangirl and her Omi&Ken obsessive friend to kill me, Two) THE RATING! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE RATING?!
Brad: . . . I have never been so happy to see you in my life. ... And I'm really not that happy at all.
Verie: ... Riiiight. Anyhow, bad Shinigami. BAD. No cake for you!
Shinigami: .. but I don't like cake no da.
Verie: In that case, then you're off the hook.
Jimmy: ... Wait... the fic's not going to be turned into a lemon anymore?
Verie: .. No, no it's not. >.>
Shinigami: You make me sad no da.
Verie: Another thing: No putting my will into effect until all the required circumstances have been met! >.; That INCLUDES the world's best detectives making sure you had nothing to do with my death, as well as my ACTUALLY BEING DEAD.
Shinigami: ^_^;;
Verie: Anyhow, back to trying to remember where we left off at the original plot.
Brad: Which I still say is non-existant.
Shinigami: You didn't say that a couple minutes ago no da.
Brad: ... How many times do I have to tell you to be quiet? >.
Verie: Leave my teammate alone, she's the only ally I've got. ;_;' The others are all plotting against me.
Schu: ... Wait.. wasn't she plotting your death not too long ago?
Verie: Everyone plots my death. That's normal behavior. Anyhow, PLOT PEOPLE! PLOT!!!
Narrator: ~flipping through the script just because he wants everyone to shut up~ We left off with Crawford and Nagi walking off after not awakening the sleeping Princess Omette.
Verie: . . .
Omi: .. I DON'T REMEMBER THAT AT ALL!! ~hyperventilating because he was promised he wouldn't have to be the Princess for awhile~
Verie: -.-; Relax, I'll still keep my promise-thingie-majigger-whatever-since-when-do-I-keep-my-word-and-why-am-I-still-hyphenating-this-anyway?
Yohji: . . . so many lines... ~confused~
Brad: ... They're called hyphens. They're used by people with proper grammar. ... Or, people like Verie, who just enjoy abusing grammar.
Verie: -.-; Quiet. I LIKE grammar. .. Sorta.
Brad: See what I mean?
Verie: ... Grr. Boo. Hiss. ANYHOW. In honor of my new cream-colored-suit-that's-lacking-pants, we will go back to the original plot for at least a little bit of the remainder of this vacation from FF8!
Brad: ~plotting to burn Verie's suit~
Verie: . . . Shinigami.
Shinigami: ~hits Brad with her tessen~ da.
Verie: ^_^ ~patpat~
Shinigami: >.; DON'T PAT ME NO DA!
Brad: -.-
Verie: Anyhow, so Brad gets to have his Prince Crawford outfit back, and everyone else gets their old costumes back too.
Omi: ~twitch twitch~
Verie: ... Except for Omi, who's going to attack me with his genki-darts-of-death if I make him cross-dress again.
Jimmy: GENKI-DARTS-OF-DEATH! ~throws a blunt dart at Verie~
Verie: ~gets hit in the head~ . . . yes, those. I remember those. =_= Anyhow.. yes. Brad and Nagi are hereby forced to spend the remainder of the time onstage.
Brad: --wait, what about the stupid costume thing?
Verie: .... ~shrug~ Find a good place to change. ~pushes Brad and Nagi onstage~
Brad&Nagi: WAIT! NOOOOOO-- ~get cut off when they enter the stage area~
Verie: .. I missed that! ^_^
Schu: .. Yeah, 'cept I can't spy on Brad anymore. ~pout~
Verie: . . . We'll fix that.
Schu: YAY!
Shinigami: And you claim you keep to the rating.
Verie: I do, Schu doesn't. .. I just help him not. .... ... ... Um... yeah. x.x Now you've confused me! ~sobs pathetically~
Shinigami: You confuse easily no da.
Verie: .. I do. I really do. O.o;;
Farf: It hurts God.
Verie: EXACTLY!
Kero: ~walks in and drags Verie off again~
Verie: I'M NOT AMUSED, DAMNIT!!!
Shinigami: . . . ~shrug~ Maybe there's pocky somewhere around here... ~wanders off~
Jimmy: ... phwee? ~follows~
Yohji: . . . I'M SO HORRIBLY CONFUSED!
Mononoke: ~drags Yohji off~
Yohji: .. wait.. YOU'RE NOT OVER 18!!! ~claws at floor, but gets dragged off anyway~
Omi: .... HA! I'M SAFE!
Kero: ~grabs Omi and runs off~
Nagi: . . . I'm suddenly happy I'm neglected.
Aya: ... I've said one thing this entire chapter.
Nagi: . . . Hey. . . I HAD MORE LINES THAN YOU! ~cackles insanely~ YES! I'M LESS NEGLECTED THAN SOMEONE!
Aya: .. shi-ne.



**********



A/N:

... This was a horribly pointless chapter. O.o; oh well. Consider it a day in the life of the author. ... Only with fictional people added in (wait.. who decided Weiss and Schwarz were fictional people?! >.> I didn't condone this decision...)

Anyhow... I know I've mentioned it in other fics (and probably numerous times in this one), but I'll explain anyway;

My friend and I are all crazy, psychopathic loons. So we all have Weiss nicknames. Ken and Yohji (Kero and Mononoke) are horribly disturbing, especially when they're in the same room together. They enjoy glomping people. ... Me in particular. I'm scarred for life because of them.

And then there's Farf, who lives solely to insert "because you CARE" into every conversation I have with her. (I'm not quite certain how to explain why that annoys me, it just does.)

I could go into what Schu does to drive me insane, but that's a story that's long enough for me to upload as a fic in and of itself.

And Shinigami (Nagi) has a tendency to glomp me too, but it's not as bad as being glomped by Ken and Yohji, because they have a tendency to start flirting with me and Shinigami doesn't.

And Aya doesn't talk and owns like.. five plastic katanas, a pirate sword, and two lightsabers. ... It's painful. It really is. X.o

And the will that was mentioned actually does exist. And Yohji and Shinigami were plotting to kill me in order to get Cho Hakkai.

.. This would also be a good place to insert a disclaimer about how I don't own any of the characters. Because I don't.

... But that doesn't stop anyone from claiming them as their own, now does it? (Yeah, you should see my bishounen list... x.O; I'm at like... 800 now...)