That was possibly the worst experience of my life. Jack thought to himself when he flopped down on the couch in the living room. The three had just come home from a six hour shopping trip, going in and out of every single shop buying clothes for Dinah or buying things that she might need in the in future, like hair supplies. Jack rolled his eyes at the idea. While he didn't go into every shop he had bought some things of his own for Dinah and himself.
"Jack I cannot believe the only thing you bought was kohl…" Katherine scolded. The servants had just brought in six bags full of things for Dinah. "And I am assuming you bought that…though I'm not completely sure."
"Mum please, there were people eyein' me from every corner of every bloody store!"
"That's never stopped you before!"
Jack rolled his eyes as Dinah walked in. She was looking a little exhausted, but before she sat down on the couch next to Jack, she turned to Katherine and said politely, "Thank you so much. I haven't had anyone spend that much money on me in years!"
"No problem, peanut. But if you both excuse me, it's past my nap time. This old body can't keep up with my young spirit!" She smiled at both of them and walked slowly up the stairs.
As soon as Dinah heard her door shut she flopped down on the couch next to Jack and rested her head on his shoulder, he moved his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder.
"Tough day, luv?"
Dinah nodded, "My feet ache so much! That was probably the worst and best experience of my life."
"You mean your mum doesn't take you out?"
Dinah shook her head and yawned, "Nope. All mother cares about is if I have enough dresses in my closest. She absolutely detests the idea of me wearing pants. She would be appalled to know what I've been wearing."
"She would be more appalled to know that you got kidnapped by me."
"Oh I'm sure she knows by now…"
Jack nodded. That was probably true.
"That's why I want to stay with you, Jack."
Jack swallowed, "What was that?"
Dinah sat up and looked at him, "I want to go back with you on the Pearl. I don't want to go home. Not ever."
Jack's life suddenly flashed before his eyes and then he saw himself as a poor pirate with eight kids running around on an old, rotting Pearl.
"Dinah, I promised I would bring you home, and I can't break that promise."
"You promised me though!"
Jack nodded slowly, "Yes, and I promised James…"
"So?"
"Dinah, I have to do it."
"You're a pirate! Pirates lie!"
"No Dinah,"
"But why?" She said giving Jack puppy dog eyes.
"Because I'm not sure you really want to stay…" Quick thinking…But like she said, pirates lie…
"You don't want me to stay, do you?" She asked, getting defensive. Jack sighed. This is what he had expected but not what he wanted. "You told me you wanted me on the Pearl. Why do you always do this?"
"Do what?"
"You say something but then turn it around once it changes. If you didn't want me then didn't you just tell me? Why give me stupid excuses like 'you promised'?" Dinah got up in disgust before he had a chance to answer. She went up to her room and started going through all her bags. She furiously pulled out each dress and all her night gowns, pants, stockings, shoes, two more blasted corsets and more than fifty hair pieces, which at the moment forgot why she needed all of them.
But as she fell on the floor around the mess of clothes, she started to cry, remembering everything Jack had done the night before. He had done this too many times to remember…making her think she was wanted but then changing his mind and confusing her on what he really wanted, which caused her to change her feelings. Two minutes ago she wanted to stay with him, now she wanted to go home.
Why do I base my feelings on him? Dinah thought to herself. The answer was somewhat obvious, but she didn't want to think that was it. She needed something else. But as she wiped tears off her face she realized that there wasn't another reason. She loved him. Unfortunately, that did not spark happy feelings in her. She got up and locked her door, and then went around the room looking for things she could take her anger out on. A lamp worked nicely but made a horrible nose. Oops. She thought sarcastically, thankful that Katherine was a VERY heavy sleeper.
Jack heard the lamp drop, along with many other things and rushed up the stairs. He pounded on Dinah's door but she yelled for him to leave. He sighed, frustrated. That blasted woman is going to wreck everything in sight! Jack suddenly thought of something and pulled out his sword from his belt. He lined it up with the frame of the door and sliced the lock open.
Dinah stopped when she heard the sound and dove for something in her trunk and when Jack stepped into the room he found himself face to face with a loaded gun.
"You would pull a gun on me?" He asked, a little surprised and mad at the same time.
"You ruined my lock." She reasoned.
"That's no reason to bloody kill me!"
"Who said I was going to kill you? This is just an incentive to get you out of my room."
Jack suddenly looked around the room. "You sure? You might need help cleaning up, lass."
"GET OUT!" She yelled, pushing him. Jack cocked his eyebrows and his eyes widened. For a minute Dinah thought that was the wrong choice but then remembered who the gun was pointed at.
"You'd think you knew enough about me to know that you never push me or any other pirate, lass." Jack said quietly yet cautiously. In a minute the gun was out of Dinah's hand and both her arms were pinned behind her back and she was facing the wall instead of him. "Now the last time you lashed out you got yourself a quick ticket to the brig. What's it going to be this time?"
"You don't have a brig in this house."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, luv."
Dinah's temper went up another degree when he said that word. She stepped on his foot which caused him to loosen his grip, at which she turned around and bit his neck. He screamed in pain and she dove her gun again. But Jack got her arm and pinned her again, this time against a wall.
"Now…listen 'ere lass," Jack said breathlessly. Both of them were breathing hard, "What has got you into such a fit to make you want to pull a gun on me?"
"Jack your hurting me," Dinah said struggling to get out of his grip.
"This is what tight is, lass, otherwise you'd go for you gun and I'd be cornered."
"So you'd rather have me in a corner that you!? Anything to save your own neck, aye?"
But before he could argue she went on, "You would rather hurt me than have me hurt you…reminds me of Henry."
Jack's surprise showed in his eyes. He let go quickly and left the room. Dinah was some-what surprised he took it like that. It was pretty harsh… she thought to herself. But she didn't care at this point. Her mind was so clouded with such bitterness and hurt that wanted Jack to feel hurt too. She sighed and fell on her bed and slipped into dreamland.
The next two days Dinah and Jack without words. They had breakfast, lunch and dinner together with Katherine and were civil and polite, but nothing more than that. One night at dinner Dinah realized that she might've caused some hurt to Jack but her thoughts told her: Good. He deserves it, what with everything he's done to you.
That night Katherine came in to talk to Jack.
"What'd wrong?" She asked.
Jack sighed and started, "Well remember two years ago when Barbossa took my ship and left me on a deserted island? Well I got found by some rum traders and they left me on Bermuda, soon enough I found Dinah and we were reunited…"
Two hours later: "…I told her that I didn't want her with me because I saw my life flash before my eyes and I was…well, I saw myself giving up everything that I love because of her."
"Are you telling me that you think she's going to make you miserable if you end up…"
"Marring her?"
Katherine was surprised. "You want to marry her!?"
"No! That's the thing! I care for her so much but marriage to me has always been so…bounding."
"That's the idea, honey. You don't get married and then go and cheat on her."
Jack paused and thought of the right words, "I just think that it's either going to be her or my ship,"
"So let's get this straight, you care for her, you still do…but you haven't told her. She feels the exact same way for you but has told you. You told her that you wanted her on the Pearl with you but then you took it back because you don't want to give up the Pearl. And she wants a commitment from you but you're not ready to give her one…Is that right?"
Jack nodded.
"Well Jack, you have two choices from here. You can either drop her off in Bermuda, never telling her how you feel and having her be love-sick for you OR you can tell her how you truly feel and let her decide for herself. Either way it's going to be harder on her than on you. Which from what you tell me, is what you want."
"Mum! I don't want to hurt her!"
"Then why did you take back what you said about wanting her with you?"
"I just can't decide, mum."
Katherine nodded her understanding but still said, "Well you need to figure that out soon, or you're going to loose her completely."
----------------------
October 25th, 1975
So now I'm at Katherine's house, but still with Jack. The Pearl should be here in three days. Gosh, I wish I wasn't here. I wish I never met this man. He drives me insane and he hurts me and drives me to do things I don't want to do. I love him though. That's the worst part. I don't want to love him. I don't want this man to have part of my heart; I don't want him to have control over me. And most of all I don't want to love him if he doesn't love me. I want to be with a man if he's going to love me, even if that means I don't love him. A knock on Dinah's door caused her to snap her journal shut. When she looked at the door and saw Jack she wanted to run into his arms and feel protected and wanted for the moment, but she stayed put.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry for hurting you." He said simply. She looked at him and felt a lump start to form in her throat, but she wasn't really sure if he meant physically or emotionally.
"I didn't mean to make you feel enclosed but I wanted an answer from you and I was willing do to anything to get it."
"But why? I was mad. That doesn't mean it's a matter of life and death that you have to figure out."
Jack drew in a deep breath and let it out before saying, "Yes, but I wanted to know. Because I care about you that much." Jack slowly walked over to where she was sitting and said, "I want you to be with me. But I'm not sure that you want to be with me. You want a commitment and all I can give you is what I feel right now…" He stood in front of her and she looked up at Jack and didn't believe her ears. This is the most honest thing he had ever said to her.
"Are you drunk?" She asked getting up and walking past him. He grabbed her waist casually and she turned to face him. He shook his head.
"I needed to be honest with you, luv,"
She was about to protest, but she was being kissed instead. He kissed her lightly and softly but with passion. His tongue lingered in her mouth and she kissed him back. She drew closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving into him more than she had planned.
When they broke apart, Dinah asked, "So you're still taking me home?"
Jack nodded. He didn't have the courage to tell her that he loved her. It would make her want to stay. He wanted the best for her, setting aside his selfish feelings; he did want her, but wasn't sure he could give her the best that she deserved. If he told her how he completely felt, she would surely make up her mind now. He didn't want that. He wanted her to have choices.
She buried her head in his chest and said in a whisper, "Just hold me." Jack gladly obeyed and wrapped his arms around her dainty figure. They stood there for the longest time, just standing there and holding each other. Jack wished he didn't have to let her go, but he did. And as weird as it sounded, he was doing it all for her.