Authors Note: WOW! I got a lot of reviews on my last chapter, not like I'm surprised. I almost shed a tear myself. But it had to be done. It all goes into my master plan…hehe. But thanks for the responses. I liked reading them, they made me laugh! So to everyone who reviewed my last chapter: THANKS!
PS/ sorry this took so long. It took me a while to get this just right.
For the most part of the next day Dinah stayed in her cabin. She was emotionally exhausted and wavered between leaving her cabin and not letting anyone see the hurt Jack had caused or to stay and wallow in self-pity. She chose the latter and thought about everything that had happened.
Dinah went over the scene in her head over and over, causing her more and more pain. Then she went over the time she had spent with him. When they were at Katherine's house he seemed so sincere. I knew he was going to say no! Dinah thought, jumping thoughts in her mind. He was taking too bloody long to answer me…why did I even ask the stupid question in the first place? Because I have a right to know! Right? Yes! I do. If he asked me, I would've told the truth…truth…he couldn't have lied to me…could he? Dinah spent a long time on that question but finally came to the conclusion that he did tell the truth, because there was no apparent reason for him to lie.
Why did I fall for a pirate captain? I should've listened to my mother…but no. I had to sneak out of the house to meet him, I had to go on his ship and sail with him to Barbados… Dinah sighed. This whole talking to herself wasn't making her feel any better. It was just making her more depressed, which was something she didn't need.
She got up and started pacing, "You know, in the beginning, I couldn't really stand being around him," Dinah said, talking to herself, "…at least this time. When I first met him I followed him around like a little puppy…But then he kidnapped me and everything seemed to get on my nerves! Especially the 'luv' thing…ohhh that REALLY got to me. And I REALIZE that he says it to everyone, but who cares?! The fact that it means something to me is what was supposed to matter! But no…he didn't care. He just wanted to tick me off!"
Switching moods again, Dinah flopped back on her bed next to Milton and started to pet him. She remembered how long it took her to get over Jack the first time, a month, maybe two, but she had a feeling this was going to be worse. Jack made her believe that he loved her with his actions, but he crushed her when it was most important. Dinah sniffed as tears made their way down the familiar lines on her face. She had opened her heart up to him and it wasn't going to happen again.
But one thing she was grateful for was that he hadn't lied to her. That he told her the truth even if it was going to hurt her. It would've been worse if he told me he loved me and then I found out later that he didn't… Dinah reasoned. And that's what's going to help me get over this. Not to wonder if he's coming back or to wonder how he really felt about me…the fact that he told me the truth is what's going to help me get out of this emotional hole that I'm in.
* * * * * *
Jack gulped down the rum and winced when it burned it throat. "This stuff is bloody good!" Jack said, but there was no smile. There was a reflecting look, and this had gone on for several hours. Jack was just sitting in a chair in his cabin, with one of his legs propped on the desk in front of him and one hand holding the bottle of whiskey.
The last look that Dinah gave him before she went into her cabin aboard The Douglas had stuck in Jack's head. Her eyes were full of tears, confusion, anger, hurt and disappointment. At that point Jack wasn't really sure he had done the right thing by lying to Dinah. But it was said and done with, he couldn't go after her now, she wouldn't accept him back. She needed time to get over this, or at least time.
Captain Jack Sparrow never goes after a woman…does he? Jack thought to himself. But why would I? I've already told myself that I can't give her what she needs…that's why I lied. That's why I am NOT going to go after her. That's why I'm going to push her out of my head…and my heart…again.
"But that bloody look!" He yelled, standing up and throwing the rum bottle against his wall. "That bloody look is in my head! You can tell by one look into those blue-green eyes if you've hurt her out not. And I can't even count how many times I have." Jack sighed. This is stupid. I can't go on like this. I either need to go after her and tell her the truth or forget about it and go to Tortuga. A loud and sudden knock interrupted Jack. He opened it to find Ana.
"If you say one word 'bout her then you'll be thrown off the ship, savvy?" Jack told her when she opened her mouth. She closed it frowned and then said, "Fine. So where are we goin' now?"
Jack paused, "I'll tell the crew tomorrow. Just be glad that you're getting a rest!"
"But Jack, we've had a rest for practically two weeks! We want to raid someone!" Ana said, in almost a whine.
"Was that a whine outta you, lassie? Because if I were you, I wouldn't whine!" And with that he slammed the door in her face. Ana almost burst in and slapped him, but he was her captain. So she took her anger else-where.
* * * * * *
An hour later Dinah rolled over on her bed. She had planned on getting a nap, but sleep never came. What came was the feeling of Jack's arms around her at night and how their hands fit perfectly together; Feeling his arm around her waist and his voice in her ear; Feeling the warmth of his skin, his lips, seeing the tenderness in his eyes. What Dinah missed the most was the way he held her when they danced. Most pirates were never caught dead dancing, but Jack was different. He was willing to do it for Dinah.
Dinah sniffed and felt the lump in her throat. She pushed it down. She was not going to get emotional again. This was ridiculous. She hoped it wasn't to the point that if someone mentioned his name, she was going to break down in tears. Of course, no one had spoken to her yet, so she did know.
No one has spoken to me… She thought, remembering she was on Douglas' ship; she began to think about him. Yes, he's a pompous idiot, but he seemed so caring…If I have any hope of marrying, it would be Douglas. Maybe I misjudged him…The man has some good qualities. He's not a pirate for one thing…AHH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU BLASTED PIRATE! Dinah stopped thinking. This was useless. Whenever she brought up anything it would led to him. Why did I have to fall for such a man anyhow? I don't even remember how it happened. But from day one, he opened me up, got to know me, and cared about me…the bloody man got to my heart. But then he left it. He used it as a rag and left it broken and dusty and dirty.
I always feared if we got involved, if he would leave me or not…and he did. He left me again. He built me up and let me down…I won't let him do it again.
* * * * * *
Why do I always run to Tortuga? Jack thought to himself as he found another bottle of rum. I don't have to go to Tortuga…I could go to New York again…or Jamaica to Will and Elizabeth. As soon as he thought of the newlyweds, he remembered Will's letter. Of course she insists that you need something more than one-night stands…you know Elizabeth, romantic all the way… Jack thought of that. He remembered how he acted on the first night at Barbados. Dancing… He thought shaking his head, totally humiliated. But he remembered that he did it for Dinah. So he wouldn't be mad at him, so he could be with her. Be with her…Do I need something more than one-night stands? More than Giselle and Scarlet? More than…Wait! Pirates don't get married! And if they do, it's not exactly legitimate! Dinah needs something more than a pirate wedding, right? No! Wait, who cares what she wants! She's not my problem anymore!
Problem? Is that all I am to you Jack, a problem? Dinah's voice said to him. He eyed his cabin, making sure she hadn't snuck in. Nothing. He sighed. "No Dinah, you weren't a problem. You might have been an inconvenience when you were younger, but you've matured and grown beautiful with an amazing personality. You're anything but a problem." Jack realized he was talking to the ghost of Dinah and closed his eyes, hoping to clear his head.
Do you love me Jack? He popped his eyes open. That was a bad idea. I don't need think about that decision. He sighed. That mistake. He took another swig of his rum and paused. No woman had ever caused this much trouble for him. So much thought, so much regret. Of course I've never loved any woman. Then he remembered why he had refused her. He loved her so he wouldn't take her. He couldn't give her what she needed, and while she may not realize it now, she would. I hope she will… Jack thought. He sighed and put his bottle down. He took of his hat and shoes and climbed into bed and smelled his pillow, hoping it would have Dinah's scent on it.
No such luck. He frowned and rolled over. "I don't need her anyways." He said stubbornly and closed his eyes, hoping he wouldn't dream of the woman he 'didn't need'.
Author Thanks:
Oktaria- You are so enthusiastic! I love it! Thanks for like going into detail about what you think about my chapters…Kohl as in the stuff around his eyes…but I'm not sure if it has anything to do with COAL…but it's the same stuff football players wear on their cheeks…I dunno if you know what I'm talking about, but that's it. I'm glad you liked/hated chapter 22. lol.