Chapter 32
Buffy woke to strong arms surrounding her and a leg draped across her midsection. She smiled at the sleeping man behind her. Casually, she noticed his lack of movement. The false pretense of breathing he gave up as he slept. Funny she'd never paid any attention to it before. Then again, she never stayed around long enough to notice anything. Jumping up and running at the first sign of intimacy, she'd never allowed herself to fall asleep in his arms. Until now. And it felt perfect.
She wanted to stay, to enjoy the warmth between them, but she had things to do and people to see. She could see the sun faintly shining through the small window. Deciding not to disturb him she slowly peeled herself away, receiving a disappointed groan for her actions. Finding a blanket balled at the end of the mattress, she draped it around spike and searched for her clothes.
She climbed the stairs and made her way to the kitchen trying to act as casual as possible. Her attempt was lost when three sets of eyes fell on her.
"Oh, uh, morning," she managed with a hint of a blush.
"Morning, Buffy." Willow smiled and gave the 'we need to talk later' look.
Buffy nodded and headed for the refrigerator. She'd made it past Willow but Angel and Giles were the ones she was worried about. They were the ones staring at her like she was a teenager who'd just been caught coming home after curfew.
"Okay guys. Stop giving me the third degree," she said while grabbing a can of diet coke. She opened it, taking a sip and hiked herself up onto the counter prepared for a lecture. The two men glanced at her, then each other and both left the kitchen shrugging.
"What was that all about?"
"I don't know. But you 'were' acting all guilty like. You can't blame 'em." "I just figured neither of them would be happy I'd spent the night in the basement with Spike."
"Well, no. I guess not. But we have other things to talk about. Clem heard something about some caves north of town. Said some demons got chased out by some ugly vampires."
"Ubervamps?"
"That'd be my guess."
"And where there's ubervamps....."
"There's The First. You said it was in a cave underground before, right?"
"Yeah. Under the Christmas tree lot."
"Angel and Giles were talking about snooping around a bit."
Buffy looked up, a surprised expression on her face. "No. They can't. We're not ready. We have to find a way to fight them but right now we're not strong enough!"
"Well we can't just sit around here and wait either."
Buffy jumped down off the counter and looked at her friend. "I don't intend to. I have an idea but unfortunately I need to talk to Angel about it first."
"What kind of idea?"
"Just something I came across. I don't want to say too much in case it doesn't work."
"Alright. I get that. If you need any help."
"I know Will, and I'm counting on it. I'll let you know what you can do when the time comes."
"So what do we do until then?" "Well.I have to face Angel and you need to go upstairs and cuddle with your new girlfriend," she answered, slightly teasing.
Willow smiled and blushed. "What's gotten into you?"
"Just realizing you can't waste the time that you have. It'll be over before you know it."
"You and Spike?"
"Everything that's happened.him leaving, coming back.it made me realize I could have been happy a long time ago if I'd just let myself."
"How is he?"
"He'll be okay. Won't be winning any competitions for Mr. Cheerful anytime soon, but at least he's willing to try with the not brooding."
"Good. That's all we need is another brooding vampire."
"I don't brood," Angel complained, walking through the door.
Willow rolled her eyes and focused on Buffy. "I think I'll take your advice. We'll talk later?"
"Yeah. I'll see ya later."
They watched Willow as she turned and left them alone.
"Something tells me I'm being set up," Angel smirked.
"Kind of."
"So how was your night with Spike?" he asked with a sarcastic hint of jealousy.
"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."
He looked down away from her. "Save me the details. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
"Believe me, I'd rather not give you the details. I'm good, and I think Spike will be too. He just needs some time."
"Suppose he's got plenty of that."
"Willow said we might know where The First is hiding out," she muttered, changing the subject.
"Looks like a good lead, yeah."
"You and Giles are stupid if you think we can just go in there. We don't have the manpower to fight 'em all."
"We don't have a choice, Buffy. This thing's been playing you for months. It's time to do something."
"We aren't strong enough now but what if I told you I had an idea that could help."
"I'd say let me hear it."
"Stay here. I'll be right back."
He gave her a confused nod and leaned back against the counter to wait. Buffy took off, heading upstairs to her room. She took a deep breath, trying to convince herself it was the right thing to do. Grabbing the book she had stuffed between her mattresses, she made haste back to the kitchen. Angel was still standing in the same place as when she left.
"Maybe you should sit down for this."
He hesitantly pulled out a chair and relaxed into it. "Okay. What do you have?"
She took the chair beside him and laid the open book on the table, awaiting his reaction. Angel glanced at the page in front of him and then back to Buffy. "You've got to be kidding me."
"I'm really not." "Buffy, you can't be serious. Do you know what this is? What it means? What it might do to you?!"
She looked him directly in the eyes and nodded. "I know exactly what it is."
"This is a vampire mating ritual," he offered as if he hadn't heard her.
"I know."
"Did Spike put this idea in your head?!" he asked, suddenly angry.
"Calm down. No, Spike doesn't know anything about it. I wanted to run it by you first. See what you knew about it."
"I know it's ancient. Not done anymore. That should tell you something."
"But why isn't it done? There has to be a reason," she argued.
"There's several. Where do you want me to start?" he asked with shortness in his tone.
"Okay. So you don't like the idea. I get that. Jealousy aside, be honest. From what I've read, it would help. If I bond with Spike, we would share our strength."
"At the risk of your life, Buffy. Or your sanity. You're human. Humans don't mate with Vampires."
"I'm strong. You know it. I'm not just a normal human."
"Buffy, I don't like it," he said stubbornly, pushing the book back toward her.
"What don't you like? The ritual, or that I want to do it with Spike?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her.
"Both. I'll admit it. The thought of you being bound to Spike for the rest of your life......well, can't say it makes me happy."
"Nothing is ever gonna make you happy when it comes to me. We had our shot, Angel. It didn't work. Time to move on, and he's what I want. Now, you can mope around and be broody about it, or you can help me so I don't screw it up."
He took a deep unneeded breath and shook his head. "There's two different ways to do it."
"What's the difference?"
"Well, one is informal and doesn't hold as strong of a connection. It's usually the one that gets screwed up. The other is more of a ritual and can be very powerful if it's done right. You'd be linked mind, body, and soul. Forever, Buffy. Nothing could ever break it. It's not like marriage where you can call it off if you're not happy. This is permanent."
"I'm ready for permanent. But I thought that ritual called for the blood of the sire. I don't think finding Dru and asking for her blood is an option."
"Dru?" he asked giving her a confused look.
"Yeah. We would need her blood, right?"
Angel looked away with an almost sad expression.
"What?" she asked.
"I guess that's what Spike told you?"
Buffy watched Angel's features closely, seeing the broodiness trying to ease its way out.
"Yeah. He told me she found him in an alley and she sired him."
He shook his head and sighed. "A hundred and twenty years and he's still trying to deny it." He looked up at her and caught her eyes. "Yeah, Dru found him in the alley. Went after him saying she wanted to keep him. I figured she was just talking nonsense like she always did so I left her to it. Didn't think she'd actually do it."
Angel stopped, staring into nothingness as if he were reliving the memory. After a moment, he finally continued. "She'd been gone awhile so I went looking for her. Found them together. She was crying, babbling, not making much sense like usual....but she was begging. Begging me to let her have him. She'd already fed. Left him lying there on the ground. I could hear his heartbeat, but barely. He was almost dead. And she was frantic and still begging, out of her mind. So I did it. I slit my wrist and forced him to drink. It may have been Drusilla that drained him, but it's my blood that brought him back."
Buffy sat in shock. "You sired him?"
"Yes."
"And he hates you?"
"No. He resents me," he corrected.
"Why?"
"For leaving. When I was cursed, I left them. Without saying anything I just walked away. Tried going back a couple of years later but couldn't do it. I couldn't live the way they did. Even pretending, he saw right through it."
She sat back in the chair, trying to comprehend the story he was telling. Her eyes closed and she conjured up the moment Spike had shown her along with the memory of seeing them so intimate together. Angel was his sire. And Angel had broken that bond between them. She was finally starting to understand what Spike had been saying. She almost felt sorry for the relationship they had lost.
"Would you do it?"
He blinked, coming back to the present. "What?"
"Would you help us do the ritual?"
His eyes were unreadable along with his expression. "I don't know, Buffy. I just don't know."
"I need to talk to Spike, but if he agrees, we'll do it with or without your help. I'd rather it be the right way."
"Even if I agree, Giles is never gonna let it happen."
"That's why Giles doesn't find out until afterward."
"I'm just worried about what it'll do to you. We don't have any way of knowing how you'll react. Buffy, when you're mating with a vampire you're mating with the demon. You'll take on characteristics you might not be able to deal with."
"That's what I read and that's what I'm counting on." She reached over to grab his hand, softly placing it in her own. "We'll handle it. It's okay, Angel. Just agree."
He gently rubbed the hand holding his and after a moment looked up. "You love him that much?"
"Yes."
"Alright. If he agrees, I'll do the ritual."
Buffy woke to strong arms surrounding her and a leg draped across her midsection. She smiled at the sleeping man behind her. Casually, she noticed his lack of movement. The false pretense of breathing he gave up as he slept. Funny she'd never paid any attention to it before. Then again, she never stayed around long enough to notice anything. Jumping up and running at the first sign of intimacy, she'd never allowed herself to fall asleep in his arms. Until now. And it felt perfect.
She wanted to stay, to enjoy the warmth between them, but she had things to do and people to see. She could see the sun faintly shining through the small window. Deciding not to disturb him she slowly peeled herself away, receiving a disappointed groan for her actions. Finding a blanket balled at the end of the mattress, she draped it around spike and searched for her clothes.
She climbed the stairs and made her way to the kitchen trying to act as casual as possible. Her attempt was lost when three sets of eyes fell on her.
"Oh, uh, morning," she managed with a hint of a blush.
"Morning, Buffy." Willow smiled and gave the 'we need to talk later' look.
Buffy nodded and headed for the refrigerator. She'd made it past Willow but Angel and Giles were the ones she was worried about. They were the ones staring at her like she was a teenager who'd just been caught coming home after curfew.
"Okay guys. Stop giving me the third degree," she said while grabbing a can of diet coke. She opened it, taking a sip and hiked herself up onto the counter prepared for a lecture. The two men glanced at her, then each other and both left the kitchen shrugging.
"What was that all about?"
"I don't know. But you 'were' acting all guilty like. You can't blame 'em." "I just figured neither of them would be happy I'd spent the night in the basement with Spike."
"Well, no. I guess not. But we have other things to talk about. Clem heard something about some caves north of town. Said some demons got chased out by some ugly vampires."
"Ubervamps?"
"That'd be my guess."
"And where there's ubervamps....."
"There's The First. You said it was in a cave underground before, right?"
"Yeah. Under the Christmas tree lot."
"Angel and Giles were talking about snooping around a bit."
Buffy looked up, a surprised expression on her face. "No. They can't. We're not ready. We have to find a way to fight them but right now we're not strong enough!"
"Well we can't just sit around here and wait either."
Buffy jumped down off the counter and looked at her friend. "I don't intend to. I have an idea but unfortunately I need to talk to Angel about it first."
"What kind of idea?"
"Just something I came across. I don't want to say too much in case it doesn't work."
"Alright. I get that. If you need any help."
"I know Will, and I'm counting on it. I'll let you know what you can do when the time comes."
"So what do we do until then?" "Well.I have to face Angel and you need to go upstairs and cuddle with your new girlfriend," she answered, slightly teasing.
Willow smiled and blushed. "What's gotten into you?"
"Just realizing you can't waste the time that you have. It'll be over before you know it."
"You and Spike?"
"Everything that's happened.him leaving, coming back.it made me realize I could have been happy a long time ago if I'd just let myself."
"How is he?"
"He'll be okay. Won't be winning any competitions for Mr. Cheerful anytime soon, but at least he's willing to try with the not brooding."
"Good. That's all we need is another brooding vampire."
"I don't brood," Angel complained, walking through the door.
Willow rolled her eyes and focused on Buffy. "I think I'll take your advice. We'll talk later?"
"Yeah. I'll see ya later."
They watched Willow as she turned and left them alone.
"Something tells me I'm being set up," Angel smirked.
"Kind of."
"So how was your night with Spike?" he asked with a sarcastic hint of jealousy.
"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."
He looked down away from her. "Save me the details. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
"Believe me, I'd rather not give you the details. I'm good, and I think Spike will be too. He just needs some time."
"Suppose he's got plenty of that."
"Willow said we might know where The First is hiding out," she muttered, changing the subject.
"Looks like a good lead, yeah."
"You and Giles are stupid if you think we can just go in there. We don't have the manpower to fight 'em all."
"We don't have a choice, Buffy. This thing's been playing you for months. It's time to do something."
"We aren't strong enough now but what if I told you I had an idea that could help."
"I'd say let me hear it."
"Stay here. I'll be right back."
He gave her a confused nod and leaned back against the counter to wait. Buffy took off, heading upstairs to her room. She took a deep breath, trying to convince herself it was the right thing to do. Grabbing the book she had stuffed between her mattresses, she made haste back to the kitchen. Angel was still standing in the same place as when she left.
"Maybe you should sit down for this."
He hesitantly pulled out a chair and relaxed into it. "Okay. What do you have?"
She took the chair beside him and laid the open book on the table, awaiting his reaction. Angel glanced at the page in front of him and then back to Buffy. "You've got to be kidding me."
"I'm really not." "Buffy, you can't be serious. Do you know what this is? What it means? What it might do to you?!"
She looked him directly in the eyes and nodded. "I know exactly what it is."
"This is a vampire mating ritual," he offered as if he hadn't heard her.
"I know."
"Did Spike put this idea in your head?!" he asked, suddenly angry.
"Calm down. No, Spike doesn't know anything about it. I wanted to run it by you first. See what you knew about it."
"I know it's ancient. Not done anymore. That should tell you something."
"But why isn't it done? There has to be a reason," she argued.
"There's several. Where do you want me to start?" he asked with shortness in his tone.
"Okay. So you don't like the idea. I get that. Jealousy aside, be honest. From what I've read, it would help. If I bond with Spike, we would share our strength."
"At the risk of your life, Buffy. Or your sanity. You're human. Humans don't mate with Vampires."
"I'm strong. You know it. I'm not just a normal human."
"Buffy, I don't like it," he said stubbornly, pushing the book back toward her.
"What don't you like? The ritual, or that I want to do it with Spike?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her.
"Both. I'll admit it. The thought of you being bound to Spike for the rest of your life......well, can't say it makes me happy."
"Nothing is ever gonna make you happy when it comes to me. We had our shot, Angel. It didn't work. Time to move on, and he's what I want. Now, you can mope around and be broody about it, or you can help me so I don't screw it up."
He took a deep unneeded breath and shook his head. "There's two different ways to do it."
"What's the difference?"
"Well, one is informal and doesn't hold as strong of a connection. It's usually the one that gets screwed up. The other is more of a ritual and can be very powerful if it's done right. You'd be linked mind, body, and soul. Forever, Buffy. Nothing could ever break it. It's not like marriage where you can call it off if you're not happy. This is permanent."
"I'm ready for permanent. But I thought that ritual called for the blood of the sire. I don't think finding Dru and asking for her blood is an option."
"Dru?" he asked giving her a confused look.
"Yeah. We would need her blood, right?"
Angel looked away with an almost sad expression.
"What?" she asked.
"I guess that's what Spike told you?"
Buffy watched Angel's features closely, seeing the broodiness trying to ease its way out.
"Yeah. He told me she found him in an alley and she sired him."
He shook his head and sighed. "A hundred and twenty years and he's still trying to deny it." He looked up at her and caught her eyes. "Yeah, Dru found him in the alley. Went after him saying she wanted to keep him. I figured she was just talking nonsense like she always did so I left her to it. Didn't think she'd actually do it."
Angel stopped, staring into nothingness as if he were reliving the memory. After a moment, he finally continued. "She'd been gone awhile so I went looking for her. Found them together. She was crying, babbling, not making much sense like usual....but she was begging. Begging me to let her have him. She'd already fed. Left him lying there on the ground. I could hear his heartbeat, but barely. He was almost dead. And she was frantic and still begging, out of her mind. So I did it. I slit my wrist and forced him to drink. It may have been Drusilla that drained him, but it's my blood that brought him back."
Buffy sat in shock. "You sired him?"
"Yes."
"And he hates you?"
"No. He resents me," he corrected.
"Why?"
"For leaving. When I was cursed, I left them. Without saying anything I just walked away. Tried going back a couple of years later but couldn't do it. I couldn't live the way they did. Even pretending, he saw right through it."
She sat back in the chair, trying to comprehend the story he was telling. Her eyes closed and she conjured up the moment Spike had shown her along with the memory of seeing them so intimate together. Angel was his sire. And Angel had broken that bond between them. She was finally starting to understand what Spike had been saying. She almost felt sorry for the relationship they had lost.
"Would you do it?"
He blinked, coming back to the present. "What?"
"Would you help us do the ritual?"
His eyes were unreadable along with his expression. "I don't know, Buffy. I just don't know."
"I need to talk to Spike, but if he agrees, we'll do it with or without your help. I'd rather it be the right way."
"Even if I agree, Giles is never gonna let it happen."
"That's why Giles doesn't find out until afterward."
"I'm just worried about what it'll do to you. We don't have any way of knowing how you'll react. Buffy, when you're mating with a vampire you're mating with the demon. You'll take on characteristics you might not be able to deal with."
"That's what I read and that's what I'm counting on." She reached over to grab his hand, softly placing it in her own. "We'll handle it. It's okay, Angel. Just agree."
He gently rubbed the hand holding his and after a moment looked up. "You love him that much?"
"Yes."
"Alright. If he agrees, I'll do the ritual."