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Daddy comes back after talking to Mom. He finds me with my head buried in my knees.
I can't stop crying now.
Daddy moves closer in to hug me. I just sit there, crying.
When he lets go, I wipe my tears. I don't know why, but I avoid his gaze.
After a long silence, I finally break the ice.
".I'm sorry for being such a pain. I. just had to get out of the house," I apologize.
"It's okay, Rina. You just scared your mom. Just. don't do that again," dad says firmly but gently.
Silence again. This time, longer.
"I'm scared," I finally blurt out. I'm still sitting on the couch, hugging my knees.
Whoa. I can't believe I just said that. Daddy just keeps his eyes on me, not saying anything.
".I. I'm mad, too," I add quietly.
Daddy takes a deep breath before answering me.
"I guess all that counseling finally paid off, huh? Now, you're talking," he says, cracking another small joke.
Now I finally gain the courage to look him in the eye.
"I'm serious, daddy," I say.
Daddy turns into serious-but-gentle mode now.
"I know. I'm sorry," he quickly apologizes.
"No, at least you can still crack jokes." I point out.
"No, Rina, I'm not just sorry for that," he says.
I'm surprised by what he said.
"Look, I know that sometimes we can be too hard on you, and sometimes our expectations may be too high. If I just tell you that crappy old reason "it's for your own good", I wouldn't be lying. Rina, I'm sorry for ever having gone into becoming an agent. I know it's really hard for you, but what's done is done. You have no idea how bad the world out there can be. There are so many things we have to protect you from - but I know we can't always keep an eye on you. I'm sorry I just realized that now. But you have to understand that we're just doing what we think is best. We're doing this because we love you," Daddy explains.
"I know, but. sometimes it's just too much, you know? Having to switch houses every month, not having you around, keeping all these secrets. Sometimes, I just wish you weren't spies, or you didn't work for the CIA," I whisper.
"I know, and it's okay. Your mom and I don't blame you," he assures me.
"We just want you to remember that we're always here for you. We're always ready to listen to you, no matter how busy we may seem. Don't forget that, okay?" Daddy tells me.
"Okay?" he repeats.
"Yeah," I whisper in reply.
'But it's not as easy as you think it is,' I think to myself.
--------
I guess he thought I was okay coz after that, I just had a cup of hot chocolate (you know, the kind you get from packets? The instant ones. Daddy doesn't have the time to make real hot chocolate.) while he took a quick shower. I was dreading the time he'd come out and take me home.
But now, I'm sitting in the front seat with my dad driving the car. It's funny coz the house is just 5 blocks away and it takes less than 5 minutes to get there by car.
"You know, I'm not the only one you can talk to about your problems," Daddy says, ending my train of thoughts.
I just stay quiet, looking out the window.
"I mean, your mom's here for you, too, you know," he continues.
"I know," I say, still looking out the window. "It's not as if I don't want to talk to her. I. I just wanna talk to you, that's all.
I look at him now. "Coz I don't see you as much."
".And now that you're gonna be moving," I start. "It'll be even harder."
Daddy tries to explain but I don't listen anymore.
I'm tired of having to listen to his excuses and reasons for not being there for me.
"And besides, we've already fixed a plan for you. After this mission, before we finalize the papers, I'll still be flying in regularly from LA. And maybe in your semestral break, you could come over and check my new place out. It's overlooking the beach, but still within the city. It's very accessible. I'm sure you'll be having lots of fun-"
"You have a house there already," I say, mostly to myself; to rub in the fact that he's really leaving.
"When did you have the time to go all the way to LA?" I ask him, quite annoyed.
"Um, well, we had a meeting there a couple of months ago, but it was cancelled. I decided to go house hunting instead. The place is really nice; I'm sure you'll like it. There are three rooms, a great ocean view, plus it's five minutes away from Martin Luther King - that's the school there. And-"
"I'm sure it's everything you've every dreamed about, Daddy," I say sarcastically, but in a soft, quiet and sad way.
We're outside the house now.
"I'd better get goings. I'm sure mom's gonna wanna have a "talk" with me, if you get my drift. Thanks, daddy," I say as I quickly fumble to open the door.
He stops me by touching my arm.
"Whoa, not so fast. I'm coming with you," he says, getting out of the car, too.
I roll my eyes and sigh. 'This won't be good.'
'Let's just get this over with coz as soon as it is, I'll be in my room, listening to Simple Plan and surfing the net til dawn.' I think to myself.
--------
"To your room, young lady," mom says firmly almost as soon as Dad and I get into the house.
"But mom-" I try to protest.
"Now! I will deal with you later," she says sternly.
Daddy looks at me with a small comforting grin.
"Fine," I say, rolling my eyes.
--------
"I hope you know she didn't mean any harm," Vaughn said.
"Yeah, well, I'm gonna have a talk with her anyway," Sydney replied.
"Syd-" Vaughn started.
"Michael, we've been over this. We can't risk letting Marina out of our sight, even for just a second. What if Sark got to her?" Sydney protested, putting her hands on her hips.
"Well, he didn't. Relax, Syd. I'm just as concerned as you are, but. Kendall himself assured us that the CIA would take care of it. And I don't think pressuring Rina is gonna help, either," he explained.
Sydney's stern look turned to a frown. She plopped herself on the couch, rubbing her forehead.
"I know. It's just that. I'm tired of just watching Rina end up like me. Constantly checking her back. Having to sacrifice being a teenager for maturity's sake. Losing loved ones," she added, remembering Will.
"I feel that way, too, Syd. But now we just have to keep Rina safe," Vaughn said.
He was kneeling to be her level.
They stared at each other for a while. Finally, Sydney looked away, breaking the connection. She stood up.
"I'll see you at tomorrow's debriefing," she said.
"Thanks for bring Rina home," she added silently.
"Yeah, sure," he replied silently, finally standing up, too.
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How was it? Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been really busy lately, school and all. I hope you guys review it. It would really help me. Thanks so much! xoxo jean-grey
Daddy comes back after talking to Mom. He finds me with my head buried in my knees.
I can't stop crying now.
Daddy moves closer in to hug me. I just sit there, crying.
When he lets go, I wipe my tears. I don't know why, but I avoid his gaze.
After a long silence, I finally break the ice.
".I'm sorry for being such a pain. I. just had to get out of the house," I apologize.
"It's okay, Rina. You just scared your mom. Just. don't do that again," dad says firmly but gently.
Silence again. This time, longer.
"I'm scared," I finally blurt out. I'm still sitting on the couch, hugging my knees.
Whoa. I can't believe I just said that. Daddy just keeps his eyes on me, not saying anything.
".I. I'm mad, too," I add quietly.
Daddy takes a deep breath before answering me.
"I guess all that counseling finally paid off, huh? Now, you're talking," he says, cracking another small joke.
Now I finally gain the courage to look him in the eye.
"I'm serious, daddy," I say.
Daddy turns into serious-but-gentle mode now.
"I know. I'm sorry," he quickly apologizes.
"No, at least you can still crack jokes." I point out.
"No, Rina, I'm not just sorry for that," he says.
I'm surprised by what he said.
"Look, I know that sometimes we can be too hard on you, and sometimes our expectations may be too high. If I just tell you that crappy old reason "it's for your own good", I wouldn't be lying. Rina, I'm sorry for ever having gone into becoming an agent. I know it's really hard for you, but what's done is done. You have no idea how bad the world out there can be. There are so many things we have to protect you from - but I know we can't always keep an eye on you. I'm sorry I just realized that now. But you have to understand that we're just doing what we think is best. We're doing this because we love you," Daddy explains.
"I know, but. sometimes it's just too much, you know? Having to switch houses every month, not having you around, keeping all these secrets. Sometimes, I just wish you weren't spies, or you didn't work for the CIA," I whisper.
"I know, and it's okay. Your mom and I don't blame you," he assures me.
"We just want you to remember that we're always here for you. We're always ready to listen to you, no matter how busy we may seem. Don't forget that, okay?" Daddy tells me.
"Okay?" he repeats.
"Yeah," I whisper in reply.
'But it's not as easy as you think it is,' I think to myself.
--------
I guess he thought I was okay coz after that, I just had a cup of hot chocolate (you know, the kind you get from packets? The instant ones. Daddy doesn't have the time to make real hot chocolate.) while he took a quick shower. I was dreading the time he'd come out and take me home.
But now, I'm sitting in the front seat with my dad driving the car. It's funny coz the house is just 5 blocks away and it takes less than 5 minutes to get there by car.
"You know, I'm not the only one you can talk to about your problems," Daddy says, ending my train of thoughts.
I just stay quiet, looking out the window.
"I mean, your mom's here for you, too, you know," he continues.
"I know," I say, still looking out the window. "It's not as if I don't want to talk to her. I. I just wanna talk to you, that's all.
I look at him now. "Coz I don't see you as much."
".And now that you're gonna be moving," I start. "It'll be even harder."
Daddy tries to explain but I don't listen anymore.
I'm tired of having to listen to his excuses and reasons for not being there for me.
"And besides, we've already fixed a plan for you. After this mission, before we finalize the papers, I'll still be flying in regularly from LA. And maybe in your semestral break, you could come over and check my new place out. It's overlooking the beach, but still within the city. It's very accessible. I'm sure you'll be having lots of fun-"
"You have a house there already," I say, mostly to myself; to rub in the fact that he's really leaving.
"When did you have the time to go all the way to LA?" I ask him, quite annoyed.
"Um, well, we had a meeting there a couple of months ago, but it was cancelled. I decided to go house hunting instead. The place is really nice; I'm sure you'll like it. There are three rooms, a great ocean view, plus it's five minutes away from Martin Luther King - that's the school there. And-"
"I'm sure it's everything you've every dreamed about, Daddy," I say sarcastically, but in a soft, quiet and sad way.
We're outside the house now.
"I'd better get goings. I'm sure mom's gonna wanna have a "talk" with me, if you get my drift. Thanks, daddy," I say as I quickly fumble to open the door.
He stops me by touching my arm.
"Whoa, not so fast. I'm coming with you," he says, getting out of the car, too.
I roll my eyes and sigh. 'This won't be good.'
'Let's just get this over with coz as soon as it is, I'll be in my room, listening to Simple Plan and surfing the net til dawn.' I think to myself.
--------
"To your room, young lady," mom says firmly almost as soon as Dad and I get into the house.
"But mom-" I try to protest.
"Now! I will deal with you later," she says sternly.
Daddy looks at me with a small comforting grin.
"Fine," I say, rolling my eyes.
--------
"I hope you know she didn't mean any harm," Vaughn said.
"Yeah, well, I'm gonna have a talk with her anyway," Sydney replied.
"Syd-" Vaughn started.
"Michael, we've been over this. We can't risk letting Marina out of our sight, even for just a second. What if Sark got to her?" Sydney protested, putting her hands on her hips.
"Well, he didn't. Relax, Syd. I'm just as concerned as you are, but. Kendall himself assured us that the CIA would take care of it. And I don't think pressuring Rina is gonna help, either," he explained.
Sydney's stern look turned to a frown. She plopped herself on the couch, rubbing her forehead.
"I know. It's just that. I'm tired of just watching Rina end up like me. Constantly checking her back. Having to sacrifice being a teenager for maturity's sake. Losing loved ones," she added, remembering Will.
"I feel that way, too, Syd. But now we just have to keep Rina safe," Vaughn said.
He was kneeling to be her level.
They stared at each other for a while. Finally, Sydney looked away, breaking the connection. She stood up.
"I'll see you at tomorrow's debriefing," she said.
"Thanks for bring Rina home," she added silently.
"Yeah, sure," he replied silently, finally standing up, too.
--------
How was it? Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been really busy lately, school and all. I hope you guys review it. It would really help me. Thanks so much! xoxo jean-grey