Title: Digging for an old boot and throwing away the new
Author: Athena.
Email: atheniandream@aol.com
Content Warnings: Angst,
Pairings: S/other S/?
Spoilers: CHIMERA!!
Season: Seven
Rating: PG-13 I think. Maybe More, Sorry.
Summary: What the title says...hehe
Author's notes: I' trying to explore the bounds of Carter as a character, coz Jack doesn't say much...
Archive: Anywhere. I'm my own publicist.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. I know this.
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Digging for an old boot and throwing away the new
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I've been driving round for three hours.
I can't seem to stop from drowning my thoughts. From levitating my inner most desires, and fucking them straight up, 'vodka style'; sideways, upside down and back to front until nothing takes placement within my mind. And everywhere there's this kind of pain, remembrance and shame that I even thought of grasping life by the balls, and deciding to move onto the greener, shinier pasture. I'm a rusty spinning top, not quite workable, but useable and familiar to the point of being boring, and for time it has proved lost, unfound by a man who doesn't know the real me.
Impulsive.
Loyal.
Independent.
Resourceful.
Boring as hell.
And suddenly I'm new. I'm unused and exited and exiting. I'm sexual and impulsive and irrational to the point of being completely interest in the fact that a man has done this.
Not the man who caught my attention. But the man who attention was caught by me.
And it's wonderful, and fun, and full of sex, and dinners and phone calls, and walks, and nights in. Bubble baths and Take out' for two. And his lips are so soft. Not like butter, much smoother and less harmful. His smile is warm and enticing. Not like a bear, not half as deadly; but instead, like a kitten, completely irresistible.
He's that cold shower I should have found at 25. But maybe, had I found him, and then I wouldn't be here, having fun. Maybe I needed the time to realise what I've been missing...
But liken all time of wonder, somewhere that rusty spinning top found me, there's a part of me spinning and drowning along with the rest of it.
So I smooth down the hair that I sent 2 hours playing with, and the very small red dress that resembles lingerie, but that I spilt wine down at dinner; and I get out of my car.
I walk 15 yards to the nearest house, and I knock.
Before Dinner, I wouldn't have even thought about it. I wouldn't have even contemplated this kind of decision. I would have thought it stupid and 'Too soon'. Some things are made to wait a while, a life time, even and
I wasn't made for decisions. But I'm new now, and I've had wine. And an itsy-witsy bit of vodka.
The door opens.
"For crying' out loud-"
"I'm happy. But, Kiss me, and I'll leave him."
Sadly people don't change, and once again, I'm choosing the old boot, instead of the new, because I'm still not finished spinning...
TBC
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Please Feed if you want the sequel, otherwise I won't bother ;)
Athena
Author: Athena.
Email: atheniandream@aol.com
Content Warnings: Angst,
Pairings: S/other S/?
Spoilers: CHIMERA!!
Season: Seven
Rating: PG-13 I think. Maybe More, Sorry.
Summary: What the title says...hehe
Author's notes: I' trying to explore the bounds of Carter as a character, coz Jack doesn't say much...
Archive: Anywhere. I'm my own publicist.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. I know this.
-------------------------------------------
Digging for an old boot and throwing away the new
-------
I've been driving round for three hours.
I can't seem to stop from drowning my thoughts. From levitating my inner most desires, and fucking them straight up, 'vodka style'; sideways, upside down and back to front until nothing takes placement within my mind. And everywhere there's this kind of pain, remembrance and shame that I even thought of grasping life by the balls, and deciding to move onto the greener, shinier pasture. I'm a rusty spinning top, not quite workable, but useable and familiar to the point of being boring, and for time it has proved lost, unfound by a man who doesn't know the real me.
Impulsive.
Loyal.
Independent.
Resourceful.
Boring as hell.
And suddenly I'm new. I'm unused and exited and exiting. I'm sexual and impulsive and irrational to the point of being completely interest in the fact that a man has done this.
Not the man who caught my attention. But the man who attention was caught by me.
And it's wonderful, and fun, and full of sex, and dinners and phone calls, and walks, and nights in. Bubble baths and Take out' for two. And his lips are so soft. Not like butter, much smoother and less harmful. His smile is warm and enticing. Not like a bear, not half as deadly; but instead, like a kitten, completely irresistible.
He's that cold shower I should have found at 25. But maybe, had I found him, and then I wouldn't be here, having fun. Maybe I needed the time to realise what I've been missing...
But liken all time of wonder, somewhere that rusty spinning top found me, there's a part of me spinning and drowning along with the rest of it.
So I smooth down the hair that I sent 2 hours playing with, and the very small red dress that resembles lingerie, but that I spilt wine down at dinner; and I get out of my car.
I walk 15 yards to the nearest house, and I knock.
Before Dinner, I wouldn't have even thought about it. I wouldn't have even contemplated this kind of decision. I would have thought it stupid and 'Too soon'. Some things are made to wait a while, a life time, even and
I wasn't made for decisions. But I'm new now, and I've had wine. And an itsy-witsy bit of vodka.
The door opens.
"For crying' out loud-"
"I'm happy. But, Kiss me, and I'll leave him."
Sadly people don't change, and once again, I'm choosing the old boot, instead of the new, because I'm still not finished spinning...
TBC
-----------
Please Feed if you want the sequel, otherwise I won't bother ;)
Athena