The subsiding shock
A few days later, Jesse returned back to the hospital. He had taken a couple of days off on sick leave, he hadn't felt like going anywhere or talking to anyone and he had dreaded speaking to Mark, Amanda and Steve, what must they have thought of him? There was no way he could have told them, he wasn't ready too, he wasn't ready to tell anyone yet, it hurt too much and was buried way too deep inside of him. He had realised though that although he hadn't answered any phone calls he couldn't hide forever and whilst he was feeling better he might as well get it over with.
He had managed to avoid his friends all morning, although he hadn't gone out of his way to make sure he didn't see them, he hadn't exactly made a point of finding them. He made his way into the doctors lounge where he planned to eat his lunch, he wasn't in the mood for eating in the busy canteen and it would only mean more people he had to talk to that he didn't really feel like conversing with. Finally the inevitable happened. He had been settled with his lunch, personal stereo playing some of the relaxing Jazz music that Lucy had loved so much, and he had a good book. Actually that book had been Lucy's favourite childhood book, although Jesse remembered how she had never grown up and it would still have been her favourite book now if she were here, Olivia loved it too, though she wasn't quite old enough to understand it, it was a book all about animals coming to life, similar to 'The Wind in the Willows' but for slightly younger children. It had been used so much, but Jesse didn't mind, reading it bought back happy memories for him.
Just at that point Mark came in the doctors lounge and noticing Jesse he started a conversation,
"So you've come back to civilisation have you?" He started, hoping that a slight joke would stop the meeting from feeling too awkward.
"What? Oh yeah, I suppose so." Jesse mumbled before turning back to his book.
"Jess, please, I don't know what it was that really upset you, but we're your friends Jess, we aren't here to criticize you, but to help you." Mark continued,
"Yeah I know, I'm sorry I left like that Mark, I shouldn't have you know, but I was just so made, so angry, something really upset me, something I had no control over, you know?"
"Yeah I know what you mean Jess, it's so overwhelming, and it kind of seems to take over your entire body," "Exactly, that's what it was like." Jesse said, he paused for a while and Mark just let him think, "you know, it bought something back into my life, a chapter I came to LA to forget about, something which really hurt. I thought I'd finally gotten over it, I have friends who I could almost call family, and it well turned my world upside down."
"We are your family Jess, we'll always be there for you, whatever happens, you don't have to explain why you reacted in the way you did, but we just want to help you, if we can, if not, just to listen, whatever it was really affected you." Mark continued,
"You know Mark, there's nothing you can really do, it's something I've got to work out on my own, if I don't get control of it now, I never will. But thanks for just saying so and being a friend."
"Anytime Jess, remember that." Mark paused, "What was it about that news bulletin that affected you anyway?" Jesse froze, this was one question he really didn't want to go into and he hoped Mark wouldn't press him on it,
"Umm, I don't really know Mark, it was just that well he'd just reminded me of something that happened a long time ago." Jesse said lamely,
"Jess, that's not going to help anyone, do you want to start at the beginning and tell me from there?"
"It's a long story Mark", Jesse said hoping to put him off,
"I've got all the time for you," Mark responded in the wrong way,
"Umm, Mark, it's not that it's just that I don't really want to talk about it, not yet anyway, I'm not really ready." Jesse said hoping he hadn't just offended his friend.
"Don't worry Jess, when your ready to talk about it, I'm always here." Mark reminded him.
"Thanks" Jesse said as his friend walked out to attend to his rounds. Jesse settled back to his memories of Lucy and Olivia for the remainder of his lunch break before he too headed back out to do his rounds.
A few days later, Jesse returned back to the hospital. He had taken a couple of days off on sick leave, he hadn't felt like going anywhere or talking to anyone and he had dreaded speaking to Mark, Amanda and Steve, what must they have thought of him? There was no way he could have told them, he wasn't ready too, he wasn't ready to tell anyone yet, it hurt too much and was buried way too deep inside of him. He had realised though that although he hadn't answered any phone calls he couldn't hide forever and whilst he was feeling better he might as well get it over with.
He had managed to avoid his friends all morning, although he hadn't gone out of his way to make sure he didn't see them, he hadn't exactly made a point of finding them. He made his way into the doctors lounge where he planned to eat his lunch, he wasn't in the mood for eating in the busy canteen and it would only mean more people he had to talk to that he didn't really feel like conversing with. Finally the inevitable happened. He had been settled with his lunch, personal stereo playing some of the relaxing Jazz music that Lucy had loved so much, and he had a good book. Actually that book had been Lucy's favourite childhood book, although Jesse remembered how she had never grown up and it would still have been her favourite book now if she were here, Olivia loved it too, though she wasn't quite old enough to understand it, it was a book all about animals coming to life, similar to 'The Wind in the Willows' but for slightly younger children. It had been used so much, but Jesse didn't mind, reading it bought back happy memories for him.
Just at that point Mark came in the doctors lounge and noticing Jesse he started a conversation,
"So you've come back to civilisation have you?" He started, hoping that a slight joke would stop the meeting from feeling too awkward.
"What? Oh yeah, I suppose so." Jesse mumbled before turning back to his book.
"Jess, please, I don't know what it was that really upset you, but we're your friends Jess, we aren't here to criticize you, but to help you." Mark continued,
"Yeah I know, I'm sorry I left like that Mark, I shouldn't have you know, but I was just so made, so angry, something really upset me, something I had no control over, you know?"
"Yeah I know what you mean Jess, it's so overwhelming, and it kind of seems to take over your entire body," "Exactly, that's what it was like." Jesse said, he paused for a while and Mark just let him think, "you know, it bought something back into my life, a chapter I came to LA to forget about, something which really hurt. I thought I'd finally gotten over it, I have friends who I could almost call family, and it well turned my world upside down."
"We are your family Jess, we'll always be there for you, whatever happens, you don't have to explain why you reacted in the way you did, but we just want to help you, if we can, if not, just to listen, whatever it was really affected you." Mark continued,
"You know Mark, there's nothing you can really do, it's something I've got to work out on my own, if I don't get control of it now, I never will. But thanks for just saying so and being a friend."
"Anytime Jess, remember that." Mark paused, "What was it about that news bulletin that affected you anyway?" Jesse froze, this was one question he really didn't want to go into and he hoped Mark wouldn't press him on it,
"Umm, I don't really know Mark, it was just that well he'd just reminded me of something that happened a long time ago." Jesse said lamely,
"Jess, that's not going to help anyone, do you want to start at the beginning and tell me from there?"
"It's a long story Mark", Jesse said hoping to put him off,
"I've got all the time for you," Mark responded in the wrong way,
"Umm, Mark, it's not that it's just that I don't really want to talk about it, not yet anyway, I'm not really ready." Jesse said hoping he hadn't just offended his friend.
"Don't worry Jess, when your ready to talk about it, I'm always here." Mark reminded him.
"Thanks" Jesse said as his friend walked out to attend to his rounds. Jesse settled back to his memories of Lucy and Olivia for the remainder of his lunch break before he too headed back out to do his rounds.