Afraid
"Everyone's so moody."
"Well you can't blame them, I mean it was really hard on everyone."
"But there's such thing as moving on."
"I am totally scared for Buffy and Xander. They haven't touched their food for days."
"Neither have you."
The day has passed and night has fallen without many events registering to Buffy. She was getting used to it-that happened a lot these days, when there was simply too much on her mind. Now, she sat on one of the armchairs, staring at the TV while accidentally eavesdropping on the whispered conversation between Willow, Kennedy and Faith. The words seeped through her ears into her brain, but they didn't register. She knew that they were probably talking about her, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to act about it.
"Buffy?" For the first time, Faith sounded careful. "Are you okay?"
Was she okay? That was one thing Faith didn't want to go into. It was something nobody wanted to go into. Because Buffy was far from okay.
"Leave me alone," she murmured instead, focusing her eyes on the Current Affairs story about bad meat instead of Faith's face.
"Buffy," it was Kennedy who spoke this time, "you need help."
"I'm fine, I just wanna be left alone." She insisted. Seeing their unconvinced and still worried looks, she sighed with frustration and got up.
"Buffy you really can't do this alone. We're your friends, let us help you."
Instead of answering and pointing out that they sounded like very lame counselors, Buffy simply left the room. She stomped into her bedroom, fuming and wishing Spike was here. Wishing Spike was here?!?
Ever since that morning-even before that, she realized-she had been having these thoughts about Spike. She'd realized that she loved him, but didn't realize just how much. How much she wanted him. Make that needed him.
As if on cue, Spike appeared outside her window. He was grinning as he let himself into her room. "Guess what?" he said.
"What?" Buffy asked, her eyes fixed on his.
"I've found out something," he told her happily, "when and if I want to, I can make myself solid again."
Buffy continued to stare at him, her eyes betraying none of the feelings she felt inside. Having Spike as a solid person once more was definitely a plus. Now that she official loved him again, him being solid meant that his shoulder was available once more for her to lean on. His lips could once more be kissed. It even meant-
Buffy stopped herself just in time, before any more thoughts of that category escaped. She found that thinking usually meant wanting, and in her case wanting meant doing, which she really didn't want to go into. Instead, she asked the first thing that came to mind.
"Why?" she asked him.
"I think it has something to do with me being a vampire," Spike replied, "something magickal."
Buffy studied him, wondering how it would feel to fall into his arms again. Not wondering, she realized. Craving. Craving to be held again, and to be loved.
"Spike." she whispered, "I'm scared."
"I'm scared too," he admitted, coming over to her and becoming more solid, "but being scared together is better than being scared alone."
Buffy threw herself into his arms, grateful for the fact that he felt every bit as gentle yet firm as he always did. She looked up, intending to say something, but found herself staring into his eyes. Not a good way to start a conversation, because once she started looking.she can't tear her eyes away.
Even without much thinking, Buffy's head moved to close the distance between them, and their lips met. Her hand had landed on his waist, but that apparently could be useful. She moved her hands further and further up, hitching up his shirt as they kissed.
Meanwhile, Spike's hand has wandered towards her waist and has just found its way under her shirt when.
A beam of light from a car illuminated the room, causing the two to jump apart. From the roar of the engine, the person who has interrupted was Giles.
"That would be Giles," Spike said, moving away.
"He has a key." Buffy whispered, and pulled him towards her again.
"Everyone's so moody."
"Well you can't blame them, I mean it was really hard on everyone."
"But there's such thing as moving on."
"I am totally scared for Buffy and Xander. They haven't touched their food for days."
"Neither have you."
The day has passed and night has fallen without many events registering to Buffy. She was getting used to it-that happened a lot these days, when there was simply too much on her mind. Now, she sat on one of the armchairs, staring at the TV while accidentally eavesdropping on the whispered conversation between Willow, Kennedy and Faith. The words seeped through her ears into her brain, but they didn't register. She knew that they were probably talking about her, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to act about it.
"Buffy?" For the first time, Faith sounded careful. "Are you okay?"
Was she okay? That was one thing Faith didn't want to go into. It was something nobody wanted to go into. Because Buffy was far from okay.
"Leave me alone," she murmured instead, focusing her eyes on the Current Affairs story about bad meat instead of Faith's face.
"Buffy," it was Kennedy who spoke this time, "you need help."
"I'm fine, I just wanna be left alone." She insisted. Seeing their unconvinced and still worried looks, she sighed with frustration and got up.
"Buffy you really can't do this alone. We're your friends, let us help you."
Instead of answering and pointing out that they sounded like very lame counselors, Buffy simply left the room. She stomped into her bedroom, fuming and wishing Spike was here. Wishing Spike was here?!?
Ever since that morning-even before that, she realized-she had been having these thoughts about Spike. She'd realized that she loved him, but didn't realize just how much. How much she wanted him. Make that needed him.
As if on cue, Spike appeared outside her window. He was grinning as he let himself into her room. "Guess what?" he said.
"What?" Buffy asked, her eyes fixed on his.
"I've found out something," he told her happily, "when and if I want to, I can make myself solid again."
Buffy continued to stare at him, her eyes betraying none of the feelings she felt inside. Having Spike as a solid person once more was definitely a plus. Now that she official loved him again, him being solid meant that his shoulder was available once more for her to lean on. His lips could once more be kissed. It even meant-
Buffy stopped herself just in time, before any more thoughts of that category escaped. She found that thinking usually meant wanting, and in her case wanting meant doing, which she really didn't want to go into. Instead, she asked the first thing that came to mind.
"Why?" she asked him.
"I think it has something to do with me being a vampire," Spike replied, "something magickal."
Buffy studied him, wondering how it would feel to fall into his arms again. Not wondering, she realized. Craving. Craving to be held again, and to be loved.
"Spike." she whispered, "I'm scared."
"I'm scared too," he admitted, coming over to her and becoming more solid, "but being scared together is better than being scared alone."
Buffy threw herself into his arms, grateful for the fact that he felt every bit as gentle yet firm as he always did. She looked up, intending to say something, but found herself staring into his eyes. Not a good way to start a conversation, because once she started looking.she can't tear her eyes away.
Even without much thinking, Buffy's head moved to close the distance between them, and their lips met. Her hand had landed on his waist, but that apparently could be useful. She moved her hands further and further up, hitching up his shirt as they kissed.
Meanwhile, Spike's hand has wandered towards her waist and has just found its way under her shirt when.
A beam of light from a car illuminated the room, causing the two to jump apart. From the roar of the engine, the person who has interrupted was Giles.
"That would be Giles," Spike said, moving away.
"He has a key." Buffy whispered, and pulled him towards her again.