The Past
"Noooo, don't die on me, you can't die on me!" Jesse said, desperately,
tears streaming down him face, trying to save the child and woman in front
of him.
"Jess" a woman said quietly, "You have to stop now, they've gone, this isn't helping anyone."
"Noo, I have to try, have to try, she cannot die now" he pleaded desperately. Normally he wouldn't even have been allowed to have been in the ER when she was bought through, but no one had had the heart to deny him access, how could they when it would have broken his heart.
"Cummon Jess, it's over, she's gone to a better place now, we have to leave her." She told him firmly but gently, and eventually he allowed himself to be lead away from her body lying lifelessly on the OR table.
She managed to get him to the doctor's lounge, hoping that he'd be able to eat something, or at the very least be able to get some rest, without her having to sedate him. She offered, and he just starred blankly, tear marks stained his face, he'd stopped crying, but he seemed to have just forgotten the world around him, he'd withdrawn from himself, she hoped that he would come back into the world, he was such a lovely guy, and a very promising doctor, with only his final year of internship to go before he would take up residency, she hoped he would take it up there, though looking at him, she wondered if he would make it through the night, loosing someone you loved was bad enough, but two people you loved in one night and in such away, it just seemed so unfair, she really wanted to help him. Realizing that leaving him like that wouldn't help him, she lead him to a hospital bed, he made no fuse, in fact he didn't react at all, but allowed himself to be lead, again there was no emotion or reaction when she changed him hospital scrubs to a nightgown sedated him, hoping he would get some rest, perhaps enough to get him through.
Jesse hadn't woken up the next morning, in fact he didn't wake up for weeks, she was beginning to wonder if he was going to stay in his self induced coma and gently slip away from them. She didn't want to see that happen, he had so much going for him, but he would be with them at least she thought, hopefully that would be happy then, it just didn't seem right, definitely not fair.
"Mark, you seen Jesse?" Amanda asked, "Only he missed his shift and he was due back at work today, it's not like him."
"Oh come on Amanda he did just loose his dad, and you know his mums not interested, and really he doesn't have that much family, I guess he's just trying to cope."
"Yeah I guess, but it has been two weeks since any of us have seen him, do you think I should check on him tonight after my shift?"
"That's a good idea, but you have the boys Amanda, I'll go and check on him, I finish in a couple of hours anyway, before you, besides you don't know what state his apartment will be in, he might object to you coming and tidying everything!"
"Ok, let me know if he's ok." Amanda finished.
"Will do." Mark said, leaving to finish his rounds.
A couple of hours later, Mark pulled up at Jesse's apartment, he couldn't see the state of it inside, the curtains were all closed, he wondered just what Jesse had been doing in the two weeks since his dad had died. Half of him had thought about visiting Jesse, but then decided he probably needed some space, he knew where they were, and he would come to them when he needed to. Mark came up to the door and knocked, after no answer; he left it a couple more minutes and tried again. He did this several times, but Jesse didn't answer. Deciding that something had to be wrong, he reached for the spare key Jesse kept outside under the door mat and went to let himself in, finding the door was actually unlocked. Panicking for Jesse's sake he quickened his pace searching through all the rooms until he eventually found Jesse in his bedroom, lying on the bed, in what could loosely be called sleeping. He was tossing and turning, was sweating, and bright red, and kept calling out to a Lucy and Olivia alternately.
Instantly realizing something was wrong, and that his dad's death had affected him more than he had realized, mark gently shook Jesse to try and wake him up. But Jesse seemed to start screaming and crying out more, Mark tried again to wake him, using more force, hoping that he wasn't the cause of Jesse's agony. This went on for several minutes, though it seemed like hours to Mark, and he had no idea what Jesse was feeling, but eventually Jesse woke, and turning round staring blankly at Mark for a few seconds before talking,
"What are you doing here Mark?"
"I came to see if you were alright, and from what I just witnessed you seem far from it." Mark replied in a concerned fatherly way.
"No, I'm fine really, just at night time, I sometimes find that everything comes back, and sometimes I get nightmares."
"Jess they were more than nightmares you're having, you need to talk to someone"
"No really I'm fine, it's not as bad as you think."
"Ok if you're sure" Mark eventually relented, although he was far from convinced that that was the case. "When are you coming back to work?" "Umm, I'm not sure Mark, I was thinking of taking a trip down to see Mum, you know make sure she's ok."
It was a lame excuse, Mark could see it, he always bit his lip and looked down when he was lying, but Mark hoped he really was alright and was trying to sort things out, he hated to see his young friend and adopted son in such pain.
"Ok, Jess, take all the time you need." Mark replied, "I have to get back to the hospital now, I'll see myself out, look after yourself ok?" "I will do." Jesse promised as Mark left, leaving him all alone, he quietly began to sob not knowing what to do as his whole life seemed to be slipping away from him.
"Jess" a woman said quietly, "You have to stop now, they've gone, this isn't helping anyone."
"Noo, I have to try, have to try, she cannot die now" he pleaded desperately. Normally he wouldn't even have been allowed to have been in the ER when she was bought through, but no one had had the heart to deny him access, how could they when it would have broken his heart.
"Cummon Jess, it's over, she's gone to a better place now, we have to leave her." She told him firmly but gently, and eventually he allowed himself to be lead away from her body lying lifelessly on the OR table.
She managed to get him to the doctor's lounge, hoping that he'd be able to eat something, or at the very least be able to get some rest, without her having to sedate him. She offered, and he just starred blankly, tear marks stained his face, he'd stopped crying, but he seemed to have just forgotten the world around him, he'd withdrawn from himself, she hoped that he would come back into the world, he was such a lovely guy, and a very promising doctor, with only his final year of internship to go before he would take up residency, she hoped he would take it up there, though looking at him, she wondered if he would make it through the night, loosing someone you loved was bad enough, but two people you loved in one night and in such away, it just seemed so unfair, she really wanted to help him. Realizing that leaving him like that wouldn't help him, she lead him to a hospital bed, he made no fuse, in fact he didn't react at all, but allowed himself to be lead, again there was no emotion or reaction when she changed him hospital scrubs to a nightgown sedated him, hoping he would get some rest, perhaps enough to get him through.
Jesse hadn't woken up the next morning, in fact he didn't wake up for weeks, she was beginning to wonder if he was going to stay in his self induced coma and gently slip away from them. She didn't want to see that happen, he had so much going for him, but he would be with them at least she thought, hopefully that would be happy then, it just didn't seem right, definitely not fair.
"Mark, you seen Jesse?" Amanda asked, "Only he missed his shift and he was due back at work today, it's not like him."
"Oh come on Amanda he did just loose his dad, and you know his mums not interested, and really he doesn't have that much family, I guess he's just trying to cope."
"Yeah I guess, but it has been two weeks since any of us have seen him, do you think I should check on him tonight after my shift?"
"That's a good idea, but you have the boys Amanda, I'll go and check on him, I finish in a couple of hours anyway, before you, besides you don't know what state his apartment will be in, he might object to you coming and tidying everything!"
"Ok, let me know if he's ok." Amanda finished.
"Will do." Mark said, leaving to finish his rounds.
A couple of hours later, Mark pulled up at Jesse's apartment, he couldn't see the state of it inside, the curtains were all closed, he wondered just what Jesse had been doing in the two weeks since his dad had died. Half of him had thought about visiting Jesse, but then decided he probably needed some space, he knew where they were, and he would come to them when he needed to. Mark came up to the door and knocked, after no answer; he left it a couple more minutes and tried again. He did this several times, but Jesse didn't answer. Deciding that something had to be wrong, he reached for the spare key Jesse kept outside under the door mat and went to let himself in, finding the door was actually unlocked. Panicking for Jesse's sake he quickened his pace searching through all the rooms until he eventually found Jesse in his bedroom, lying on the bed, in what could loosely be called sleeping. He was tossing and turning, was sweating, and bright red, and kept calling out to a Lucy and Olivia alternately.
Instantly realizing something was wrong, and that his dad's death had affected him more than he had realized, mark gently shook Jesse to try and wake him up. But Jesse seemed to start screaming and crying out more, Mark tried again to wake him, using more force, hoping that he wasn't the cause of Jesse's agony. This went on for several minutes, though it seemed like hours to Mark, and he had no idea what Jesse was feeling, but eventually Jesse woke, and turning round staring blankly at Mark for a few seconds before talking,
"What are you doing here Mark?"
"I came to see if you were alright, and from what I just witnessed you seem far from it." Mark replied in a concerned fatherly way.
"No, I'm fine really, just at night time, I sometimes find that everything comes back, and sometimes I get nightmares."
"Jess they were more than nightmares you're having, you need to talk to someone"
"No really I'm fine, it's not as bad as you think."
"Ok if you're sure" Mark eventually relented, although he was far from convinced that that was the case. "When are you coming back to work?" "Umm, I'm not sure Mark, I was thinking of taking a trip down to see Mum, you know make sure she's ok."
It was a lame excuse, Mark could see it, he always bit his lip and looked down when he was lying, but Mark hoped he really was alright and was trying to sort things out, he hated to see his young friend and adopted son in such pain.
"Ok, Jess, take all the time you need." Mark replied, "I have to get back to the hospital now, I'll see myself out, look after yourself ok?" "I will do." Jesse promised as Mark left, leaving him all alone, he quietly began to sob not knowing what to do as his whole life seemed to be slipping away from him.