I'm sick of contracts for Mario Party!
by: MySharona88
Where all the characters are cruel and mean! ^_^
It was another beautiful day wasted in Destiny Islands. Everyday, Sora would be running for Roger the platypus to deliver the mail and hope for a contract for a sequel. Many companies were interested in him but sadly, he only got scripts from Mario games. He was once so desperate that he auditioned for a Mario Party game but it was horrible.
*FLASHBACK*
Sora: ::Steps up:: Hi, my name is Sora and I'm 15. ::steps back::
Mario: ::Jumps forward to make his weird pose:: It's a me! MARIO!
Luigi: ::Steps forward:: We no speaka english, we make weird noises!!! YA!!!!!
Peach: ::Steps forward:: ITS A ME! A PRINCESS WHO'S IN LOVE WITH AN OLD ITALIAN MIGET!!!
Sora: O_O!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway, we find our beloved heroes sitting by the beach. NOTE: Kairi is not a beloved hero!
Kairi: Hey that's...
Me: ::puts a sock in Kairi's mouth::
Kairi: O_O!
Riku: No contracts yet?
Sora: No, just letters from fan girls wanting me to do porn.
Riku: Ya, me too.
Kairi: Mrrmmmm, mrrmmmmmm. Mm, mmmmmrrrrrr, mmmrrrmmmeemmrrr....
Sora: Yea? You really think that Squenix and Disney are negotiating?
~~~~~~~~ In Square-Enix USA ~~~~~~~~~~
Bob: Well, I think that it definitely needs a sequel.
Jessica: Yea, so what if it didn't do that good?
Tommy: Yea, they didn't even give J.Lo and Ben Affleck a chance! I SAY SEQUEL TO GIGLI!!!!
All: YEA!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sora: Yea, they are definitely negotiating!!!
Riku: Wouldn't it be sad if they Had an E! True hollywood story of Kingdom hearts?!? ::laughs insanely::
T.V.: Coming soon at E!, they were famous, they were loved, now they are forgotten wannabees sitting in the beach all day getting contracts for porn. The E! True hollywood story of Kingdom Hearts!
S,R,K: Awwww ::sighs::
T.V.: And next week, we would discuss the sudden death of the characters of Kingdom Hearts!
S,R,K: Awwww ::sighs::
T.V.: ::Coming up next, the E! True Hollywood story of Tidus!
S,R,K: YAY!
Kairi: ::takes off the sock on her mouth:: Wow, I'm smart. Anyways, we should make our sequel.
Sora: Yea, I'm sick and tired of all this madness!
Riku: Yes, the pain is just unbearable. I want to live. I'm tired of all this imprisonment where Doctors are the ones who decide my interest. I want to be happy!
Sora and Kairi: O.o?
Riku: Heh, it's from "The Hours" with Nicole Kidman.
Kairi: We can call up people to be in the sequel!
Sora: Hmm, I wonder what Donald and Goofy are up to!
~~~~~~~~ In a shirt company ~~~~~~~~~~~
Donald: U_U, It's a hard knock life for us...
Goofy: It's a hard knock life for us!
A bunch of Philipino kids: Gawin mo ang trabajo nyo! Mga tamad kayo!!!
Donald: ::Jumps out of the window::
Goofy: NOOOOOOOOOOO! wait, we're only in the 1st floor!
Donald: Damn it!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku: I bet they're millionaires now!
Kairi: I wonder where all the Final Fantasy characters are now!
~~~~~~~~ In an Anger management Facility ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. Maam: So tell me Sephiroth, what did you do that made you come here?
Sephiroth: Well, at first I wanted to destroy the whole world. But then this man named Cloud ruined my plan which is why I killed her girlfriend who was reborn again.
All: O.o?
Sephiroth: Why are all of you looking at me like that?
All: ::gulp::
~~~~~~~ In a store called "Shakes and Cakes and everything that bakes" ~~~~~~~~~~
Aerith: Hello, welcome to Shakes and Cakes and everything that bakes how can i help you?
Old lady: I would like to buy a Vanilla shake please.
Aerith: Ok, that would be $2.50 please.
Old lady: I have a coupon, it's saves me a penny.
Aerith: Um, ok, $2.49 then please.
Old lady: Can I write a check?
Aerith: Well, yea but...
Old lady: Oh alright, I don't wanna break my five.
Aerith: _! Yuffie, one Vanilla shake!
Yuffie: Ok, ::makes a vanilla shake::
0ld lady: I'm not taking that! You just touched the straw!
Aerith and Yuffie: U_______U
Old lady: ::coughs insanely and accidentally sneezes right at Aerith's face:: This place sucks...
Guy in the line: C'mon old lady you're holding up the line!
Old lady: GrRrRr, back off or I will push you into a vortex of darkness where a bunch of goons will consume your soul and put your body into a box of everlasting coldness!
All: O.o??!?!?!?! ::runs off::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku: Oh I bet they're all fine.
T.V.: In other news, 7 people were killed in an Anger Management facility. The suspect fled the scene after hearing the police sirens. Also, an old lady was found locked up in a freezer in a Store called "Shakes and Cakes and everything that bakes" store. The suspects also fled the scene.
Kairi: What about Cloud?
~~~~ In a show called "Blind Date lleh morf" ~~~~~~~~~~
Host: In our first date, it's Cloud and Stacy. Cloud is a former warrior who likes quiet walks in the beach and watching romantic movies. Cough bull Cough, sorry. And Stacy is a Computer analyst who loves going online and talk in chat rooms. Cough Dork Cough, ahem sorry.
Cloud: Well, I usually like girls who are funny and has a great personality.
Stacy: Well, I haven't been in a date before and I never even kissed a guy. I did have an online date once. It was so romantic ::fixes her glasses and giggles insanely::
Host: Well, I'm sure they'll have fun! ::laughs insanely:: Now to our date.
*** Stacy: Hi, I'm Stacy! ::giggles:: I have a gift for you!
Cloud: O.o, oh hey...I'm cloud. Wow, a protractor. Thanks O.o
Stacy: oh, no problem! ::giggles and accidentally makes a pig sound::
Later that day, they went in the van to go home.
Stacy: ::is playing with her laptop:: OMG! More pics of Star Wars Episode 3!!!
Cloud: -_-
Stacy: ::closes her laptop:: Cloud, kiss me!
Cloud: No! O_O, HELL NO!
Stacy: Please!
Cloud: Never!
Stacy: ::jumps on top of Cloud:: Kiss me!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kairi: Wow, he must be modeling now.
T.V.: In other news, A woman named Stacy has been killed on an episode "Blind date lleh morf" show after she tried to get a kiss from her date. The driver also said that she tried to hump him but he smelled like 40 sweaty men put together.
Riku: God, who in the world would do such things! Anyway, let's call all of them!
~~~~~~~~~~The next day..~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku: Wait, we still don't have that much people!
Selphie: ::comes out of nowhere:: OH MY GOD! DID YOU KNOW THAT FISHES ARE EDIBLE? I CAN FINALLY EAT!
Kairi: No they're not! Go to the toilet and you'll find some chocolate looking things in it. It's delicious!
Selphie: OK!
Kairi, Sora and Riku: ::starts laughing::
Selphie: HEY! You're lying! You're supposed to take it out first then cook it for a couple of minutes! I'm not stupid ya know!
Kairi: -_-
All: ::starts vomiting::
Mysterious voice: This island is a prison surrounded by water...
Sora: What the flying shitzu was that?
Mysterious voice: Sorry, it's just that I don't have any lines in this fic so i decided to say random things. So ignore me ok!
Riku: Sure...
Kairi: Hm, we still need people for the sequel! Let's call the Final Fantasy gang.
=========== In prison ==============
Sephiroth: I did a horrible thing!
Aerith: We know! You killed a bunch of people!
Sephiroth: NO! I accidentally dropped the soap 32 times while I was in the shower -_-.
All: O.o, ::backs away::
Yuffie: I just made new friends! Most of them got too friendly though. They started touching me but it was nice when I stuck my flute up her...OH! a quarter!
All: O.O!!!
Yuffie: Anyways, it was nice when I stuck my flute up her mouth and she played "Hot cross buns" beautifully!
Mysterious voice: I LOVE CARROTS!
All: O.o?
Tidus: I'm gonna kill myself!!!
Aerith: Tidus, why are you here?
Tidus: I have no friggin clue...
Aerith: Yeaa...
Tidus: Yep
Yuffie: So....
Tidus: Yeaa, anyway
Aerith: Sure, so...
Tidus: Yeaa..
Cloud: ::giggles::
Tidus: Yeaa, funny...
Aerith: Yea no,
Tidus: No yea...
Mysterious voice: MILKSHAKE!
Tidus: Yeaa, yummy.
Yuffie: Yeaa, tummy yummy
Aerith: Yummy in my tummy...
Cloud: Yeaa, shure
Tidus: So...yea
Mysterious voice: Shut your pie holes, you're just twisting each other's words! Now shut the hello up! I can't say hell cause my mom would kill me. Oh great I just said it...CRAP!
::awckward silence::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please Review. If you review my story, I will donate 10 cents to the breast cancer foundation of Mwabilo in Africa and yes, it's a real place.
Where all the characters are cruel and mean! ^_^
It was another beautiful day wasted in Destiny Islands. Everyday, Sora would be running for Roger the platypus to deliver the mail and hope for a contract for a sequel. Many companies were interested in him but sadly, he only got scripts from Mario games. He was once so desperate that he auditioned for a Mario Party game but it was horrible.
*FLASHBACK*
Sora: ::Steps up:: Hi, my name is Sora and I'm 15. ::steps back::
Mario: ::Jumps forward to make his weird pose:: It's a me! MARIO!
Luigi: ::Steps forward:: We no speaka english, we make weird noises!!! YA!!!!!
Peach: ::Steps forward:: ITS A ME! A PRINCESS WHO'S IN LOVE WITH AN OLD ITALIAN MIGET!!!
Sora: O_O!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway, we find our beloved heroes sitting by the beach. NOTE: Kairi is not a beloved hero!
Kairi: Hey that's...
Me: ::puts a sock in Kairi's mouth::
Kairi: O_O!
Riku: No contracts yet?
Sora: No, just letters from fan girls wanting me to do porn.
Riku: Ya, me too.
Kairi: Mrrmmmm, mrrmmmmmm. Mm, mmmmmrrrrrr, mmmrrrmmmeemmrrr....
Sora: Yea? You really think that Squenix and Disney are negotiating?
~~~~~~~~ In Square-Enix USA ~~~~~~~~~~
Bob: Well, I think that it definitely needs a sequel.
Jessica: Yea, so what if it didn't do that good?
Tommy: Yea, they didn't even give J.Lo and Ben Affleck a chance! I SAY SEQUEL TO GIGLI!!!!
All: YEA!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sora: Yea, they are definitely negotiating!!!
Riku: Wouldn't it be sad if they Had an E! True hollywood story of Kingdom hearts?!? ::laughs insanely::
T.V.: Coming soon at E!, they were famous, they were loved, now they are forgotten wannabees sitting in the beach all day getting contracts for porn. The E! True hollywood story of Kingdom Hearts!
S,R,K: Awwww ::sighs::
T.V.: And next week, we would discuss the sudden death of the characters of Kingdom Hearts!
S,R,K: Awwww ::sighs::
T.V.: ::Coming up next, the E! True Hollywood story of Tidus!
S,R,K: YAY!
Kairi: ::takes off the sock on her mouth:: Wow, I'm smart. Anyways, we should make our sequel.
Sora: Yea, I'm sick and tired of all this madness!
Riku: Yes, the pain is just unbearable. I want to live. I'm tired of all this imprisonment where Doctors are the ones who decide my interest. I want to be happy!
Sora and Kairi: O.o?
Riku: Heh, it's from "The Hours" with Nicole Kidman.
Kairi: We can call up people to be in the sequel!
Sora: Hmm, I wonder what Donald and Goofy are up to!
~~~~~~~~ In a shirt company ~~~~~~~~~~~
Donald: U_U, It's a hard knock life for us...
Goofy: It's a hard knock life for us!
A bunch of Philipino kids: Gawin mo ang trabajo nyo! Mga tamad kayo!!!
Donald: ::Jumps out of the window::
Goofy: NOOOOOOOOOOO! wait, we're only in the 1st floor!
Donald: Damn it!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku: I bet they're millionaires now!
Kairi: I wonder where all the Final Fantasy characters are now!
~~~~~~~~ In an Anger management Facility ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. Maam: So tell me Sephiroth, what did you do that made you come here?
Sephiroth: Well, at first I wanted to destroy the whole world. But then this man named Cloud ruined my plan which is why I killed her girlfriend who was reborn again.
All: O.o?
Sephiroth: Why are all of you looking at me like that?
All: ::gulp::
~~~~~~~ In a store called "Shakes and Cakes and everything that bakes" ~~~~~~~~~~
Aerith: Hello, welcome to Shakes and Cakes and everything that bakes how can i help you?
Old lady: I would like to buy a Vanilla shake please.
Aerith: Ok, that would be $2.50 please.
Old lady: I have a coupon, it's saves me a penny.
Aerith: Um, ok, $2.49 then please.
Old lady: Can I write a check?
Aerith: Well, yea but...
Old lady: Oh alright, I don't wanna break my five.
Aerith: _! Yuffie, one Vanilla shake!
Yuffie: Ok, ::makes a vanilla shake::
0ld lady: I'm not taking that! You just touched the straw!
Aerith and Yuffie: U_______U
Old lady: ::coughs insanely and accidentally sneezes right at Aerith's face:: This place sucks...
Guy in the line: C'mon old lady you're holding up the line!
Old lady: GrRrRr, back off or I will push you into a vortex of darkness where a bunch of goons will consume your soul and put your body into a box of everlasting coldness!
All: O.o??!?!?!?! ::runs off::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku: Oh I bet they're all fine.
T.V.: In other news, 7 people were killed in an Anger Management facility. The suspect fled the scene after hearing the police sirens. Also, an old lady was found locked up in a freezer in a Store called "Shakes and Cakes and everything that bakes" store. The suspects also fled the scene.
Kairi: What about Cloud?
~~~~ In a show called "Blind Date lleh morf" ~~~~~~~~~~
Host: In our first date, it's Cloud and Stacy. Cloud is a former warrior who likes quiet walks in the beach and watching romantic movies. Cough bull Cough, sorry. And Stacy is a Computer analyst who loves going online and talk in chat rooms. Cough Dork Cough, ahem sorry.
Cloud: Well, I usually like girls who are funny and has a great personality.
Stacy: Well, I haven't been in a date before and I never even kissed a guy. I did have an online date once. It was so romantic ::fixes her glasses and giggles insanely::
Host: Well, I'm sure they'll have fun! ::laughs insanely:: Now to our date.
*** Stacy: Hi, I'm Stacy! ::giggles:: I have a gift for you!
Cloud: O.o, oh hey...I'm cloud. Wow, a protractor. Thanks O.o
Stacy: oh, no problem! ::giggles and accidentally makes a pig sound::
Later that day, they went in the van to go home.
Stacy: ::is playing with her laptop:: OMG! More pics of Star Wars Episode 3!!!
Cloud: -_-
Stacy: ::closes her laptop:: Cloud, kiss me!
Cloud: No! O_O, HELL NO!
Stacy: Please!
Cloud: Never!
Stacy: ::jumps on top of Cloud:: Kiss me!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kairi: Wow, he must be modeling now.
T.V.: In other news, A woman named Stacy has been killed on an episode "Blind date lleh morf" show after she tried to get a kiss from her date. The driver also said that she tried to hump him but he smelled like 40 sweaty men put together.
Riku: God, who in the world would do such things! Anyway, let's call all of them!
~~~~~~~~~~The next day..~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku: Wait, we still don't have that much people!
Selphie: ::comes out of nowhere:: OH MY GOD! DID YOU KNOW THAT FISHES ARE EDIBLE? I CAN FINALLY EAT!
Kairi: No they're not! Go to the toilet and you'll find some chocolate looking things in it. It's delicious!
Selphie: OK!
Kairi, Sora and Riku: ::starts laughing::
Selphie: HEY! You're lying! You're supposed to take it out first then cook it for a couple of minutes! I'm not stupid ya know!
Kairi: -_-
All: ::starts vomiting::
Mysterious voice: This island is a prison surrounded by water...
Sora: What the flying shitzu was that?
Mysterious voice: Sorry, it's just that I don't have any lines in this fic so i decided to say random things. So ignore me ok!
Riku: Sure...
Kairi: Hm, we still need people for the sequel! Let's call the Final Fantasy gang.
=========== In prison ==============
Sephiroth: I did a horrible thing!
Aerith: We know! You killed a bunch of people!
Sephiroth: NO! I accidentally dropped the soap 32 times while I was in the shower -_-.
All: O.o, ::backs away::
Yuffie: I just made new friends! Most of them got too friendly though. They started touching me but it was nice when I stuck my flute up her...OH! a quarter!
All: O.O!!!
Yuffie: Anyways, it was nice when I stuck my flute up her mouth and she played "Hot cross buns" beautifully!
Mysterious voice: I LOVE CARROTS!
All: O.o?
Tidus: I'm gonna kill myself!!!
Aerith: Tidus, why are you here?
Tidus: I have no friggin clue...
Aerith: Yeaa...
Tidus: Yep
Yuffie: So....
Tidus: Yeaa, anyway
Aerith: Sure, so...
Tidus: Yeaa..
Cloud: ::giggles::
Tidus: Yeaa, funny...
Aerith: Yea no,
Tidus: No yea...
Mysterious voice: MILKSHAKE!
Tidus: Yeaa, yummy.
Yuffie: Yeaa, tummy yummy
Aerith: Yummy in my tummy...
Cloud: Yeaa, shure
Tidus: So...yea
Mysterious voice: Shut your pie holes, you're just twisting each other's words! Now shut the hello up! I can't say hell cause my mom would kill me. Oh great I just said it...CRAP!
::awckward silence::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please Review. If you review my story, I will donate 10 cents to the breast cancer foundation of Mwabilo in Africa and yes, it's a real place.