Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fiction, blah blah. Don't sue.
A.N.: Sorry for the long paragraphs. Not much action but I just want to fix the father son relationship. Sorry if Connor gets too whiny.
A.N: I finished this story a long time ago and I noticed I get more reviews if I put out one chapter at a time so expect updates at least every other day. ^_^.
Chapter three. . Enjoy.
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Everything rushed into my mind, a red sky, and betrayal. I saw lie after lie. I hated it, and Angel did nothing but hit me and throw me out, and Hotlz. He lied to me, too. He lied to me my entire life, it was always God and kill Angelus only he forgot to tell me Angelus didn't exist anymore, it was just Angel.
The entire time I couldn't get that look in his eyes out of my mind. When he saw me lying on the floor, realized that it wasn't the look of someone losing everything. It was the look of a parent losing a child. He had that same look when I was talking to him in that sports store. Hotlz never had that look in his eyes. You'd think living in Qour'toth with the constant danger would put that look in a father at least once, but it never happened, not really. So was Holtz the bad guy or Angel? With Angel something always happened that kept forcing us to look away from each other. It always ended badly. He said he loved me but I never got why.
Lies.
I told him how I felt about lying in that store and then he comes around and makes my entire life a lie. The only difference is that I don't remember and look where that got me. I have a hole in my gut. I suppose he just wanted me to be happy. Every time I got happy in Qour-toth, normally after a successful hunt, Holtz told me about Angelus and his family. Only on horrible days he would tell stories about Utah, but I always got the felling he was telling me these stories to make me feel worse. Kind of like saying it was my fault we were in hell and not on a beautiful ranch in a dimension where killing for survival really didn't exist. Some times I would just wish he got to the gory details of his families death, then there was stories about God but I always seemed to zone out on those. I got beaten regularly when it came to bible stories. It was just life but never happy.
Angel, when I first got here, looked like he desperately wanted to reach out but after his under the sea tour, I saw him cringe when he saw me. Maybe it was just my imagination, but he said he forgave me but when I looked at him I saw him look at me with a glint of mistrust and aversion. Kind of like Holtz used to look at me at me after he witnessed one of my fights. They have a lot in common only I think Angel's love is genuine. He got me out of Wolfram and Hart when the beast came. Holtz never really went out of his way to find out if I was all right. Actually on many occasions I was sure he was trying to kill me. Considering the history, I don't really doubt all that much anymore. Doesn't matter.
While I was healing, Angel, on many occasions, came to sit by my bed. I couldn't stand to look at him so I just pretended I was asleep whenever he stopped by. I wanted to ask him so many questions but I didn't know where to start.
When I could walk without feeling a sharp in pain in my abdomen, he took me to his new place. I couldn't believe he had control of the evil law firm that tried to kill me, and then dissect me. They probably were responsible for me growing up in hell. I couldn't really ask him anything. I just nodded like an idiot when he told me what had been happening while I was gone. Cordelia was still in a coma.
"Do you want to see her?" It looked like he felt obligated to ask. I sensed his pain.
"No, it's okay." Truth be told, I was ashamed. I had tried to kill her and I didn't deserve to see her, and I don't think he wanted me to either. He explained who the bleached blonde vampire was. Only he wasn't really a vampire anymore because he was a ghost. That was creepy. He also told me that only him and me would remember the events of the last year with me in them. As long as they were concerned the me as a baby didn't even exist. I was kind of hurt but more relived than anything else. This conversation was flowed by lots of nodding from me. I felt guilty but I would talk to him. . .eventually.
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Please review. Reminder: expect updates regularly from this story. ^_^.
Sorry if the chapter isn't that long. . .