Subject: Who is the cruelest man on Meifu?

Notes: This experiment is double purposed. As opposed to the last one which I did solely on the basis of my entertainment, this one is also to serve as a warning for whomever who wishes to cause mischief  in Meifu (Meaning me!). 

As I am so giving and generous, I will allow fellow officemates to have a peek in this particular page of my logbook, if and only if, they promise to commit mischief in its honor and if they promise to be my guinea pig for a day. Fair bargain if I say so myself.

Experiment.  Piss off all possible candidates.

Oh wow. I just thought that this experiment might be a little too hard. Even for me. I mean, hello!! I'm going to piss off about 7 or so people. And that means I'm going to have to endure 7 or so painful punishments. Ouch. Just thinking of it makes me shiver. Oh well, I am a man of science and I can do it! I can!! I hope…

So here's the least of people/birds I'm going to hunt down. Kachou, Tatsumi, Bon, Tsuzuki, Terazuma, Wakaba, the Gushoushin brothers and 003.

Hmmm… Let's cross out 003 this early. I know her ever since she was an egg and I can guarantee you that she hasn't got a single cruel bone in her little body. Really!! She supports me, gives me encouragement when others are looking down upon my experiments and all other good gooey stuff. Well, she does retaliate at times, but it's my fault in the first place… So she would probably fare only a 1 out 10 in the cruelty rating. But you can't possibly consider someone cruel just because they tried to defend themselves right? So please leave 003 alone!!!!!

Ooops, sorry for the outburst, it's just that I'm a wee bit overprotective of my chick… I mean 003!! So anyway on to the rest of the list!!

Target Number 1. The Gushoushin

Easy, this one. I didn't even have to think long on how to piss the pants off them. Even Tsuzuki will be able to figure this out. 

If there is one definite way to piss a Gushoushin off, it is to cause havoc on the library. They have a fond attachment to it and they barely leave the place.

Hmm, I'm not really going for the kill here, so I think burning the library down to cinders is out of the question. Besides, if I do burn it down and I'm caught, which I should be really, it just won't be the Gushoushin after my ass but the secretary of Meifu himself too. The ruler of the treasury. Tatsumi.

So I decided that borrowing a heck of a lot of books, which I presumed to be the most valuable ones, the ancient old books are always of value and the newly acquired gleaming ones which they had begged Tatsumi to get, and not returning them on time would suffice. The Gushoushin insisted some kind of library rule that books should be returned on the third day it was brought out.

I have the books for about a week before they started bugging me. I had to give them credit for giving me the benefit of doubt, though. After all, they bug other people when books haven't been returned on the fourth day and I have mine for a week!!!

 So anyway, they kept flying above my head while I was working on my sex changing potion telling me that the books were long overdue. I was losing concentration on my work so I'd given up to them and looked on the whereabouts of it.

When I found them they were dripping wet. I had placed them directly at the bottom of the dripping air conditioner. I turned around at the gasping noises the Gushoushin brothers made. Their eyes were wide with disbelief.

One of them, the one with the blue hat flew down and reached at the topmost book of the stack, lifting it gingerly…

"Ano… Eto… I didn't mean…" I stammered as I looked at one chicken face to the other. 

The red hat Gushoushin sniffled loudly and the blue hat one was still in a state of shock, wet book in his hands, or rather claws… whatever….

Then without warning the blue hat Gushoushin threw the wet, enormous book right at my head, hitting me squarely between the eyes. The other one started screaming obscenities at me. I was kind of surprised… He knew swear words! Then as a last resort, they banned me from the library until further notice.

I was shocked since I could use the library for further research and I spent about a third of my day in there and it will be a huge loss for me.

"Please… I've never messed up before!! Don't ban me!!!" I wailed after their flying-retreating figures only to be met by two pair of angry glinting eyes.

"NO!!! It's your punishment!!!" And they flew again, never to be convinced otherwise.

Cruelty Rating. 4 out of 10. Well, I'm still conscious after the throwing of the book… so that fared only two points. Plus the ban from the library which I gave 2 points.  No points taken for swearing… It happens all the time. Trust me.

Target Number 2. Wakaba

To tell you the truth I don't know how. I've never seen her angry or irritated… Oh wait!!! I did!!! Last experiment, you know when I took the coffee machine away? To tell you the truth my head still throbs when I think of her little, tiny fists making contact at the top of my head. OUCH.

Just looking at her sweet petite figure… I'm sure you wouldn't figure out that she has brute strength within her. Anyway, I think that the last experiment wouldn't suffice. I think it's worth a try trying to find something that irritates the sweet girl other than getting the coffee out of her.

Signing out for awhile… (Have to piss a certain girl you know…)

I'm back!!!

Gosh!!! You wouldn't believe this!!! I just tried several things with Wakaba and guess what?!!! NOTHING!!! Every little stunt I pulled was unfruitful.

All I received was sweeter-than-honey smiles!!! So, first I lifted her skirt up. She whirled around and I distinctly remembered bracing myself for a painful slap. Umm, and yeah I think I apologized too. Reflex, you know? So I had my eyes closed and was waiting for the blow. It never came.

I opened my eyes when her hand connected to my shoulder. I was greeted with a smile and before she flounced away she said that I should not worry, its okay. Oooookhaaay…

Second, I teased her about her little crush on Terazuma. She blushed to the roots of her hair while I was doing so. When I was confident that she, indeed, has a crush on the ill tempered Shinigami, I insulted him.

I said that he was a brat, that he never cared for her enough, that he was bossy, moody, a war-freak and that he doesn't really look that good, that he is butt ugly and all other lies. She shook her head vigorously at each statement. I finished ranting and I still hadn't gotten much of a desired reaction from her. She just kept silent and when I finished she just muttered that Terazuma was good inside… and that she didn't give a fuck about looks. Then she smiled sadly as if sorry about me being superficial. Huh, that got me somewhere…

Lastly, I decided with another trick with the coffee. I don't have anymore ideas and she's stumping me. So when she reached for her coffee mug, I 'accidentally' bumped into her which caused her to loose her grip on her beloved mug, it's pink and flowery, wonder where she got that?! Anyway, it shattered into tiny little pieces. She looked like she was about to explode but she spotted some Styrofoam cups and she suddenly forgot about her broken mug!!

She made a beeline for the coffee machine and started pouring herself some when I 'accidentally' bumped into her again. The pot of coffee came crashing down, splattering our feet with the super hot coffee. Wakaba looks like she's going to cry but then she spotted a spare pot, some coffee beans and she perked up again!!!!

No way, am I going to break another office tool. The bill might land on me and it would probably clean out my non existent salary. So officially, I gave up on Wakaba.

Cruelty Rating. Need I say more?!!! Zero, Nada, Caput!!! 0 out of ten, if you still don't get it. *Sighs* I am such a failure!!!

Target Number 3. Kachou

Ha! This one is rather easy! Kachou is easily pissed off. With my great talent and skills he's bound to be angry at a snap of a finger.

So anyway, I went to his office. I figured that if there's any place he would likely be in, it would be in his office.  He never leaves the place and only leaves when absolutely necessary. Necessary as in, if he's hungry, if he's in need of the bathroom or if its dismissal time.

So as I presumed, he sat hunched at his desk, shuffling mounds and mounds of paper. I let myself in after five minutes of calling Kachou's name. He was rather intent on not noticing me. I suppose he's still mad at the sweets incident last experiment.

I went to his table and to my surprise found a plateful of sweets. My mouth curved into a wide smile as I greeted him.

"Morning Kachou!!! Isn't it too early for sweets?" I ask demurely as I sat down at the top of his desk. His head snapped up and I noticed that he's face is as red as hell.

Now that I had a good look on him too, his eyes are ablaze and he looks ready to kill. I let out an undignified shriek as his hands darted to reach for my hair. Fortunately I had jumped out of harms way before he could get his hands on me.

"Kachou?! What do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to kill you!!" He muttered angrily as he stood up and started to chase me. I noticed that his mouth was full of cotton swabs as he talked. Wonder what's up with that?!

"Kachou!! I haven't done anything to you!!!" I said my voice high with panic as I started to get into a sprint.

"Oh yes you did!!! How dare you remind me that I can't eat sweets!!!" He raged as he rained me with various objects he gathered along the way, occasionally hitting me.

"Ouch!" I yelled as a chair hit me squarely in the knees causing me to tumble. In a few moments, Kachou was straddling me and was grinning down at me like a crazed lunatic.

"Ka-Kachou!!"

"You've been very bad Watari-san! I just had a tooth pulled out this morning and I was just mourning…. You know cause I can't eat my daily dosage of sweets…" Kachou wiped at an imaginary tear before continuing.

"I was forgetting it too when YOU mentioned sweets…" Kachou pouted as he continued to look down at me. Pouted? I asked myself hazily. Kachou never pouts. Well he really shouldn't. Just look at him and his age. It just isn't appropriate. Kachou shifted position and I was brought back to reality.

I was getting really nervous because Kachou has a look in his face I couldn't quite put my finger on. I was about to make my conclusion when he affirmed it.

"You know… I never noticed how attractive you look…" Kachou said in a voice I haven't heard from him. It was seductive.

"Wha-what?!" I stammered.

"I said you're beautiful." Kachou said as he lowered his head. Lower, lower.

Oh my, he's going to kiss me!!! Warning bells rang clearly in my head as my eyes went wide as saucers. Kachou's eyes were closed now and now that I had the chance….

"OWWWW!!!" Kachou let go of me suddenly as he clutched his eyes. I stabbed his eyes with my fingers!!! Getting the chance I ran as fast as I could to hole myself in the lab.

As I closed the door of my lab, I hear Kachou stumble to a sitting position before saying: "Sweet Revenge." And the whole office laughed.

Conclusion. Damn that Kachou!!! He had one upped me!!! I really thought at that time that he's had it for me!!! I thought, I thought…. I thought I was going to get raped!!!! And the whole office knows of it too!!! Hmmmmmp!! The nerve. How could he do this to me?! I'm a nice guy!!! Aren't I?! Aren't I?! AREN"T I?!!! *Pssst… here's the part where you say yes…*  

Audience: YES!

Watari: Thank you, Finally. Hmmmp. And I thought you sided with Kachou too. I was beginning to think that I'm the only one here who understands myself.

Cruelty Rating. 10 out 10. The cheating scum!!! That was far worse that physical abuse you know!!!! He had hurt what he shouldn't. My pride!!

Notes: Hey! I know I have three more subjects to go, but I'm going to do that tomorrow. This will be a two part test. After all this is kind of long and is important. I don't want to rush things around you know….

Fine! It's not that I can't finish this today, but after the Kachou incident… AGGGGHHH!!! I'm still boiling. Gotta nurse a broken pride you know?

Toodles.

t.b.c

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A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for those who reviewed and I apologize for not updating in a long time…