Continuation…
Notes: Very sorry for the delay you all…It's just that nursing a broken ego had taken me longer than I thought it would be. Every time I see and hear Konoe's name… *shudders* I go ballistic.
So anyway, I talked with the ever-sweet Wakaba-chan about this problem of mine. To tell you the truth, I had developed a tick in my right eye every time I think of Konoe. She ain't laughing at me when I told her this, so I thought that whatever she says would be heartfelt. Not unlike her partner, Terazuma who broke into hives when he heard of the scene between me and Kachou. Would you believe he suggested that I hook up with Kachou?!
He says that the reason I was feeling so pissed off was that I was expecting Konoe to have feelings for me and that I was crushed with what happened. The nerve!! I so do not have a thing on old men!!! I was so mad, and still is, that I'm thinking of an experiment especially for that goon. Just he wait.
Wakaba-chan, on the other hand, suggested that I meditate and do the yoga thingie. She says it calms your nerves. I did exactly what she had told me and I'm back to my old, normal, genki self.
I feel I'm up to the task at hand and I ain't gonna waste no more time. Scientists of my caliber mustn't be free for long periods of time. We get rusty and it's hard to get the flow going back on. So with that scary thought in mind I proceed, much obliged and happy, at the 'Cruelest Man on Meifu' Experiment!!
Target Number 4. Kurosaki Hisoka a.k.a Bon
This should be easy. Hisoka is easy enough to piss. He gets irritated at the littlest things and that could work well to my great advantage. Very little effort could get the desired result. This would be so easy… *clasps hands tightly*
Oh but wait!! I completely forgot about the Code of Etiquettes of the Association of Mad Scientists!! I couldn't possibly thinking of going for mediocre experiments!!! The shame!! The horror!!! What was I thinking?!!
Good thing I have a good memory. Or else I would have dragged the Book of Codes in the dirt!! *shakes head* with that in mind I have to find a way to tick the blond shinigami off, the first class way…
Now this has become a little complicated. I had to create mischief with drama. I was starting to worry that I couldn't create the absolute, grand trick that would be up to hilt but then it suddenly hit me.
Flashing light bulbs erupted somewhere above my head and I knew I looked like a slot machine who hit the jackpot. If there is one way to achieve that… Oooooh… this is going to be so much fun!!! I went into motion at once.
First, I started off by leaving Bon a message saying that he's supposed to meet me at my lab. Secondly, I set up cameras at my lab all carefully positioned on angles. It's designed that way so I could have access to every nook and cranny of the room. Thirdly, I had a heart-to-heart talk with 003. After making sure she understood what I wanted her to do I left my lab with a big smile on my face and fully determined not to be spotted by a certain blond haired, emerald eyed shinigami.
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My eyes flashed with victory as 003 finished the act with a flourish. Knowing that I had little time I rushed towards my lab in haste. I reached it at the same time Bon came out of it all red in the face and wide emerald eyes wild.
"Hi Bon!! Sorry I'm late I want to talk to you about…" I chatted happily acting as if him being red faced and out of breath is completely normal.
"Not now Watari-san…" Bon said so quietly, I had to strain my ears to decipher what he's trying to say.
"But you came here!! That means that you're up to…" Hisoka stopped me short. He can't look at me straight in the eyes and he seems so anxious to leave.
"I suddenly felt tired. Let's just talk about this tomorrow ne Watari-san?" I nodded. I watched Bon leave out of sight. When I was sure he couldn't see me anymore, I turned back to the 'secret room' and started editing the tape I would be showing to everybody in the office tomorrow morning for entertainment.
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When I saw Bon strutting towards his desk to start his day, I set phase 2 of my plan in action.
"Everybody!! I want you to know that 003 will be getting married and you are all invited at the ceremony and at the reception!!" I proclaimed loudly. The office which was a quiet as a cemetery, this happens only when it's early, perked up.
"What?! Really?! Who's the lucky bird-guy?" Wakaba asks, interested.
"Well, it's not really a bird… Anyway I'll just run this tape so you could see the day of their engagement." I smiled happily as I popped the tape in.
I made the tape as dramatic as possible. There were opening credits, and there was even a background song. The opening scene was that of me and 003.
"003 are you really sure that this is what you wanted?" Watari on screen asked the little bird. 003 nodded vigorously but she kept still on her perch.
"If that's what you wanted 003… You know I'll always support you…" I had said and was able to manage a few tears. Every girl in the room 'AWWWWW'-ed as 003 on screen fluttered towards me and patted my tears away with her wee little wings. The door of my lab then opened revealing an unsure looking Bon.
"Watari-san? Is it okay for me to…" He asked tentatively. Well the truth was he's asking me if it's okay to enter, but I had to edit what he really said to get the desired effect.
The view switched back to me and 003. I nodded my head slowly, tears still sparkling in my eyes.
"Yes. You have my blessing." I said and I broke down. I went by in a huff and left the lab at break neck speed. The girls in the room watching the tape 'AWWWWW'-ed again at the supposedly touching scene.
"003…" Bon trailed off. Well he really didn't trail off. He was actually asking 003 whether I'm there or not. 003 nodded serenely and went hovering at Hisoka's face. She gently pecked her beak at Bon's lips.
"AWWWWW… That is so adorable…" Wakaba shrieked happily. I looked over at Bon's desk and noted that he was looking murderous.
Anyway, back at the tape, Hisoka lifted his hands and attached a ribbon to 003's neck. Dangling at the center of the pink ribbon was a ring. Well, it was really a note… I edited that part too...
003 hooted softly before descending on Bon's hand. She wiggled a bit and when she rose Bon was already wearing a ring matching that of 003. Another one I edited…
Everybody in the room clapped. Yuma and Saya were whistling as well. They started bugging Hisoka and congratulating him while he shots dagger glares at them when the tape began singing…
/All my life without a doubt I give you all my life
Now and forever and till the day I die
You and I will share…/
On screen, 003 began pecking at poor Bon's lips. At one particular moment, 003 pecked too hard that Bon had opened his mouth to shout, I edited his yelling sounds though. But when he opened his mouth to yell, he accidentally swallowed 003 when the bird leaned in for another peck. Bon looks like he was gagging for a moment before he finally spat out 003.
"Ohhh… so that's what they mean when someone says 'I want to feel you so good I want to swallow you whole'!!!" Wakaba said enlightened. Bon blushed to the ends of his hair and was looking at me his eyes flashing dangerously.
He stood up shakily and began panting like an enraged bull. I took this as cue to make a run for it. And I ran out as fast as I could.
Results. I was bed ridden for a week looking very much like the Mummy. Every inch of my skin was covered in bandage because of cuts, lacerations and broken bones. Both of legs were in cast and so is my left hand.
He wasn't content with that, though. He also claimed that I should be given some sort of grave punishment. He wheedled and threatened Kachou and Tatsumi to hold a trial for my case, he says he's good enough that he's letting me try and get off the hook with the help of the trial, but his eyes are saying that he is just stretching my pain and suffering as long as possible.
He won the case of course and as damage penalty he gets to have my salary for six months and that 003 be taken away from me for three months as well. I broke down when I heard the verdict. Losing my salary I can handle. Losing 003? Its like stripping me of my clothes!!! She's a part of me!!!!
Cruelty Rating. 20 out of 10!!!!! Hmmmp. Making a replica of the Mummy out of me? Getting my hard earned salary? Keeping my beloved 003 away from me?!!! INJUSTICE!!!!
Target Number 5. Tsuzuki Asato
As with Wakaba-chan, I don't know how to start with this inu-man. He's just so damn nice and I absolutely cannot recall an instance where he lashed out at an officemate because he's irritated at them or something. More than often it's him who gets in trouble because he had annoyed someone.
But as I've said over and over in this log book, I am not one to give up and challenges, extreme challenges, such as this one is right up my alley. It's just a matter of strong will and persistence.
Hmm… acting like a psycho killer and threatening Bon is a good idea to set the violet eyes shinigami off. Only there's a hitch. Tsuzuki will probably kill me for doing that. Let me correct that, it's not probably, absolutely. So cross that out. I ain't going to have myself murdered!!! There are more experiments and things I could venture out to!!!
So, first I tried irritating Bon and passing on the blame to Tsuzuki. I concealed myself at a nearby unoccupied desk and when I was sure that I am completely hidden from Bon's vantage point of view and that he absolutely had no idea I was even there, I started shooting at him paper clips, staples and whatever I could get my hands to. Tsuzuki is the only person in plain sight of Bon so it wouldn't be a problem.
Bon tried to ignore the paper clips at first because every time he looked over to check if Tsuzuki was the one doing it, Tsuzuki was typing something up. But after awhile he cracked and lashed out at Tsuzuki.
The inu-man looked hurt and said it wasn't him. He didn't even have paper clips, so how could it be him?!!! Bon looked doubtful at first but when saw the look of sincerity in Tsuzuki's face, he believed him and apologized and asked him to go with him for lunch as his token.
Tsuzuki stood up and spotted me hiding under Wakaba's chair with the paper clips in hand. His eyes narrowed at my fist, which was of course sporting paper clips and staples, but then he broke into a smile. He looked at Hisoka who was gathering his things and back at me. He mouthed thank you and went on as if he didn't see me.
Hmmm… So that didn't get me nowhere. But there's still some time in this experiment and I like to give it one more shot.
So I decided that spreading out rumors about Bon and Tsuzuki will do. Oh you know, that Tsuzuki had been pinning out for Bon in ages. Well it's not really a rumor; it was more like the truth. *rolls eyes* I swear if Tsuzuki gets any slower, he'd be going backwards.
But I had a fondness for exaggerating so I upgraded that simple fact to something more interesting, like a rumor that Bon and Tsuzuki had finally hooked up! Isn't it such a grand idea? And if there is one quick way to spread a rumor, not just in our office but in other agencies as well, it's to feed the information to Yuma and Saya. Its plain knowledge in Meifu that Tsuzuki had a thing for Bon but it's not in other agencies. I'm sure that the inu-man would flip if he finds out about this one…
Hehehehe, if you must know, yaoi is a fad among the girls here in En-macho and if they found out about this little information… It will sure cause a commotion. I'm not really one to gossip, but hell!!! I just overheard this okay?! They thought that Tsuzuki and Bon will make a gorgeous couple. These girls had a habit of partnering people off… I even overheard some of them say that I would make a good partner for Tatsumi!!
Why are you looking at me like that?! I told you I just overheard it!!! I AM NOT A GOSSIP!!! *huffs* We're getting side tracked here!! So anyway, Yuma and Saya set a world record for spreading a rumor. It went like wildfire and everybody knew it within 10 minutes flat.
Everyone had patted Tsuzuki on the back and was congratulating him. He looked confused for a moment before Yuma and Saya came bounding on to him. They told him that if he was to break Hisoka's heart he's going to be so screwed. Understanding dawned on Tsuzuki's eyes and he blushed so hard that it looked like he was glowing.
At that same moment, Wakaba had reached a completely clueless Bon to greet him and congratulate him as well. Nobody other than Wakaba-chan, and maybe Yuma and Saya as well, had worked the nerve to talk to Hisoka regarding this topic. It's a well known fact that Bon blows a fuse faster than a bullet train.
Bon blushed, and looked over at Tsuzuki the same time the inu-man looked over. Their gazes met and I knew I was missing something there. They had a look on their faces I cannot interpret. Then without warning Tsuzuki left, at running pace. The hush that fell down when the two were staring at each other broke way for a steady hum of chatter.
I was surprised when Bon followed Tsuzuki seconds after. The hum of chatter got louder and I got the feeling that something was way off mark here. I went to my lab to try and sort things out.
This rumor should have blown Bon's fuse off and then his pent up anger would be directed at Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki would then be mad at whoever who set the rumor up because, surely, Bon would not be talking to him for days.
But when I saw the look on Bon's face when he got up to go after Tsuzuki… There wasn't any trace of anger or whatever. Something is definitely amiss. I was not coming up with any bright ideas about the explanation of their behavior and I can't proceed with this experiment unless Tsuzuki comes up to me so I decided to postpone this one and to focus on to another target for the moment.
I was thinking of stalking Tatsumi when my lab door opened revealing a grinning-like-an-idiot Tsuzuki.
"Tsuzuki?" I ask tentatively. He looks happy but I can't be too sure. He might have gone bananas or whatever you know? He leapt up suddenly and caught me in a bear hug.
"What the hell happened?" I ask him, sure now that he's not a threat to my health.
"Thank you!!! Thanks to that rumor me and 'Soka-chan are finally a couple!!"
"What?" I ask him dazed. Talk about dumbstruck!
"Well because of that little incident he and I finally had a long and serious talk and we confessed our feelings for each other!!! God, this feels so great!!!" I'm still at a loss for words but he didn't seem to notice.
"But, but, but… How did you know that I'm the one that spread the rumors?" I asked, choked.
"Well, Yuma and Saya aren't exactly the kind of people who could hold in a secret, are they?" Tsuzuki asks me, still grinning like an idiot.
"Don't worry Watari!!! I'll hand the favor back at you!!" He continued on babbling when I didn't reply. Then he bounced happily out of my lab sensing that I still had not recovered.
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I decided not to do any more tricks since I'm still confused about what happened. If you only knew how bad my headache was after trying to figure out what went wrong… *shakes head*
The next day though, I found a note saying that I had a date at 8:00 p.m. sharp and that I should wear something formal. When I arrived at the place, I nearly lost my marbles. My date that night was… Take a guess!!!! Tatsumi!!
Cruelty rating. This guy hasn't got a cruel bone in his body. When I took the sweets from him on the last experiment he just cried. When I tried to make Bon irritated at him he thanked me and when I intended to make Bon mad at him which can result to non-communication for at least three days… He set me a date up with Tatsumi!!!
So I think he deserves a -10 out of 10. He's a sport and a perfect gentleman!! Returning the 'favor' like that!!!
Target Number 6. Tatsumi Seichiro
Oooh, wow. A date with Tatsumi. I should probably feel elated and excited right now, which I actually am, but being a persistent mad scientist like I am, I couldn't help but feel that this is a good opportunity to test him. After all he is the last person off the list and I think that this particular experiment is taking up a damn long time.
So I decided, against my will, that I should conduct my tests with him while we are at it. At our date. Geeesh… And I thought that I could have fun!!! *rolls eyes*
So anyway, when I arrived at this darling little private restaurant, Tatsumi was already at the table. He was sipping champagne and he looked bored out of his mind. He raised his glass to acknowledge my presence, when he finally noticed me….. Was the table cloth really that enchanting to Tatsumi that it took him a full five minutes to notice that I am standing next to him, making humming and coughing noises just to get his attention? *shakes head*
I had barely opened my mouth to apologize for being late when he spoke.
"We should have met at exactly 8 p.m. And what time is it now?" He looks at me challengingly. Oh what a beautiful way to start a conversation…
"Ahhh… 8:23?" I said haltingly. Tatsumi looked liked he was calculating as I took the seat opposite him.
"Do you think that that is acceptable?" He asks me.
"It's only for a few minutes!! And besides I have a perfectly good reason!!" I said indignantly.
"Pray tell this 'perfectly good reason'?" Tatsumi raised his brows in question. I sighed, defeated. He actually is still in boss mode!!! I thought to myself sulking.
"Well… I…" Now that I thought about it, I really don't have any reasons.
"Just as I thought. Do you know that if this were office time, I would have to deduct some amount of money on your salary?"
"Well, I don't really…"
"And did you know that every single penny is valuable?"
"But, I…"
"Watari-san, I suggest you be more serious about it… time is valuable and it is ticking constantly…"
"I am serious…" Tatsumi glared at me and I was forced to listen again.
"Hmmm…. Serious? Are we?"
"Yes…"
"No you aren't. You have to pay Kurosaki-kun 6 months worth of your salary because of some trick!!"
"It wasn't a…"
"And this past few days… The mischiefs, Watari-san!! It is unbelievable."
"Thank…" I started out, thinking that he was impressed with my work.
"Oh don't thank me Watari-san, I am not praising you for it. In fact I am reprimanding you for it."
"But…" My eyes turned wide as saucers. And I thought I could forgive him about all this line cutting!! Am I not allowed to say more than three words? Can't I even complete a sentence? Grrr…. Talk about one sided conversations. He rested his chin on his intertwined hands and looked over at me solemnly.
"And because I am secretary of En-macho after all…" I just kept silent, after all if I did intend to say something, he'll just cut me short.
"I forbid you to do any more of that tricks… Mischiefs… Whatever it is that you call it."
"Experiments." I said under my breath. The waiter took that time to get our orders. I vaguely hear Tatsumi order a fillet mingon. The waiter turned to me.
"I'll get whatever he did." I said irritatedly. When the waiter turned away, Tatsumi looked detached. So was I. I was contemplating by myself that I didn't have to do any tricks, to have Tatsumi irritate me. He's a natural at making me pissed off.
I suddenly realized what he had just said when I thought of the word 'pissed off'. It's my current project and he's forbidden me to do anymore experiment… But how could I continue with my experiments if he won't allow me to conduct it?
"Ne, Tatsumi? What if I tell you that I won't follow your order?"
"What do you mean?" Tatsumi asks jolted back to reality.
"That I stop my experiments."
"Then I'll have to extend 003's separation from you!!"
"What?!!!"
"Yes, Watari-san… I'm afraid that is the case." He said as he shook his head mock sadly.
"Why are you doing this? 003 is my life and my experiments…" Tatsumi looked at me and I willed myself to shed a few tears…
"Hush… Watari-san. Fine. You can do this 'experiment' of yours after the contest."
"What contest?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.
"Well, Earl had a contest to see which agency can perform better in cases, which agency can sport team effort the most…" Tatsumi could have continued explaining if I didn't stop him. Did he really think that I am that slow?
"I get the picture Tatsumi."
"Well then… The price of the winning agency would be a raise in the funds!!! And I intend to win that contest and each and every employee of En-macho will strive to reach that goal." He looked at me, a smug smile in his face.
"And what has that to do with my experiments?" I asked confused.
"Your tricks are wearing most of our best people down… Tsuzuki and Bon, who could win us the best cases performances, are looking no fit for the job… All because they're acting all lovey dovey… Thanks to you…" Tatsumi trailed on looking at me pointedly. I was about to defend myself when he cut me off again.
"And Kachou could win the best subordinate award… I mean best leader award but he's irrational lately… All because of the sweets deprivation, which is also one of your tricks…"
"But I…"
"And the best team effort award which could also be won by our agency was smashed to pieces thanks to your rumor spreading abilities…"
Oh boy… This could go on all evening….
"And of course…" Tatsumi droned on and on. I must have blacked out at some point, because when I came to, I was drooling all over the table, while I was asleep and that Tatsumi had already left.
Result. *Yawning* Do I have to finish this? God. You wouldn't believe how bad it is to have Tatsumi on a date. I mean, it should be a date but he had turned it into a business meeting. And I hate business meetings!!! They make me so, so sleepy…
Anyway, he went on and on about my 'faults' and how I caused a minor set back on his plans… Seems like it that he had agreed with Tsuzuki's plan of having a date with me on the sole purpose of reprimanding me and telling me that I am not supposed to do this or that. *rolls eyes* What a mother hen!!!
Cruelty Rating. How to rate?! Let's separate it in three categories. Hmmm… 10 out 10 for being such a pain in the ass. 20 out 10 for being the worst date in the century and 10 out 10 for threatening me that 003's separation from me will be lengthened.
So okay, it's not a fair grade… But give me a break!!! I had prepared all morning just to look my best for him and he didn't even notice that I had donned on a special outfit!!!! Hmmmmp…
Over all Result. I would say that, based on my studies that the cruelest man in Meifu is a tie between Bon and Kachou. The two had very different ways in reacting. While Kachou plays the mind, Bon prefers the natural, physical method. I don't know which one is worse but I sure have suffered from the both of them.
Then there's Tatsumi. I didn't even have to play tricks on him… And he had already bored and irritated me till I fell asleep. It would be a nightmare if I deliberately pissed him off.
Conclusion. Based on the overall result, I can conclude that the higher the position of a certain person, then the meaner he gets.
Hmmm… But then there's Bon. Well, let's add another conclusion to the one I made earlier, the more prudent, more serious worker you are, the more you tend to be cruel. Fair enough?!
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A/N: I think Tatsumi is OOC here… Sorry for that. I didn't mean to write him as an irritating boss or whatever. But once I started writing Tatsumi's part, I can't seem to stop myself. It just kind of wrote itself.
Feedbacks are much appreciated!
Disclaimers: The song I used here isn't mine, it's America's or whomever is the lyricist of the song 'All my Life'