A/N: Well, this is a change for me: a piece from Ryan's perspective. I'm
sorry that it's only a song fic, but I'm not quite sure of the quality of
my narrative voice from Ryan's perspective, of course that is assuming that
made sense. Anyways, the lyrics are "Don't Look at Me by Stacie Orrico." Oh
and Laura (Peg Gep), this is for you! :)
Ryan sat on the end of his overly fluffy bed, in the Cohen's pool house. Maybe he should call it, his pool house. After all, he was a Cohen now--- wasn't he? He didn't feel good enough to be a Cohen. To him belonging anywhere was a privilege. This was probably, because he'd never belonged anywhere before. He was never good enough.
Don't look at me, if you're looking for perfection- Don't look at me; I will only let you down-
He felt like he'd always been such a failure to everyone. He couldn't help his mom clean up her act. He knew it wasn't really his fault, but damn it pissed him off so much. She tried to be a mother, but she wasn't cut out for it. He didn't want to blame her, but he did mostly. But he wasn't good enough to help her. He wasn't good enough for anyone.
But don't look at me- no, no, no- Don't look at me
He got distracted from Marissa, and ended up depressing her and all for a little one on one with Seth's "grandma?" He'd given into temptation, and she was off like a bullet, and he was "too late." What the hell was wrong with him? He was never doing the right thing for Marissa because he'd never tell her what he wanted. Did he want her? What the hell did she think? Of course, but was he gonna tell her that? No. He wanted to, but it wouldn't happen, at least not yet.
I'll do my best to point you in the right direction-
Then there was Seth. Seth was probably his only friend in the world, and he felt like he'd introduced him to too much of his world. His father's car got totaled, he'd gotten drunk, and he'd almost gotten shot. He'd burst Seth's protective bubble, and he felt responsible.
He had to just face it. He was a failure, a thief, an arsonist, a drunk, and just an all around screw-up. He wasn't privileged enough to stay in the Cohen's pool house, he wasn't good enough for a dark, dirty alleyway, but he wasn't there. He WAS in the Cohen's pool house, and he did have friends and a girl that maybe wanted him. So no matter what, he had to try not to screw it up anymore. He'd need a miracle.
A/N: Okay, I know that sucked. I'm sorry.
Ryan sat on the end of his overly fluffy bed, in the Cohen's pool house. Maybe he should call it, his pool house. After all, he was a Cohen now--- wasn't he? He didn't feel good enough to be a Cohen. To him belonging anywhere was a privilege. This was probably, because he'd never belonged anywhere before. He was never good enough.
Don't look at me, if you're looking for perfection- Don't look at me; I will only let you down-
He felt like he'd always been such a failure to everyone. He couldn't help his mom clean up her act. He knew it wasn't really his fault, but damn it pissed him off so much. She tried to be a mother, but she wasn't cut out for it. He didn't want to blame her, but he did mostly. But he wasn't good enough to help her. He wasn't good enough for anyone.
But don't look at me- no, no, no- Don't look at me
He got distracted from Marissa, and ended up depressing her and all for a little one on one with Seth's "grandma?" He'd given into temptation, and she was off like a bullet, and he was "too late." What the hell was wrong with him? He was never doing the right thing for Marissa because he'd never tell her what he wanted. Did he want her? What the hell did she think? Of course, but was he gonna tell her that? No. He wanted to, but it wouldn't happen, at least not yet.
I'll do my best to point you in the right direction-
Then there was Seth. Seth was probably his only friend in the world, and he felt like he'd introduced him to too much of his world. His father's car got totaled, he'd gotten drunk, and he'd almost gotten shot. He'd burst Seth's protective bubble, and he felt responsible.
He had to just face it. He was a failure, a thief, an arsonist, a drunk, and just an all around screw-up. He wasn't privileged enough to stay in the Cohen's pool house, he wasn't good enough for a dark, dirty alleyway, but he wasn't there. He WAS in the Cohen's pool house, and he did have friends and a girl that maybe wanted him. So no matter what, he had to try not to screw it up anymore. He'd need a miracle.
A/N: Okay, I know that sucked. I'm sorry.