Don't play with the Toaster
Chapter Three-Don't touch the fridge
A/M: M is for Memo! Get ready for some football!!!
Kazuo was rushing for work, not that it was anything unusual. Well, it was unusual that this one girl, who was out on her own was now dealing with 3 other people in her apartment. She also had to treat them with the child- like attitude, for they had no clue how most of the crap worked here. "So, do you get how to work the Microwave? And do you know where the Hot pockets are?"(A/M: That my diet!) She asked, finishing the last list of directions. She could only hope that they could read them. After all, she wasn't too sure about how much they could do. "I don't think I have left anything out. Can you handle being on your own?"
There were three nods. Not a bad sign. Not really a good sign either if they had no clue what she was talking about. Which was most likely the case, but Kazuo was going out on a limb here. "My work number is by the phone, and if the lady at the desk says I am not, then ask for Lin or Rei." There was another pause, with more nodding. Kazuko bite her lip, "Aragorn? Legolas? Gimli? Are you all getting all this?" She asked for clarification. The three nodded. (A/m: Note, short, choppy sentences! FLAME ME!) "Okay, I am just gonna leave the numbers here, and if you need anything.. call." She paused, one more time just to let them say something. Nothing came, and she smiled little. "Okay, I'm going now, I will be back at around five, and remember, we are going to Rei's for dinner to night." She grabbed her key off the table by the door and left them alone.
There was nothing said until they were sure that she was down the steps. Aragorn turned to Legolas, "Did you get any of that?"
"Not at all."
"Gimli?"
"Some."
"That's good.what did you get?"
"How to work that.televis-thingy.."
"At least we won't get bored."
Legolas looked at the small little hamster in the cage. It looked back at him with sad eyes, and Legolas nodded at it. (I unno how, but he talks to animals..) "Okay Nibbles, I will let you free. Aragorn, open the cage, I want my friend free!" He said, pointing. Aragorn raised an eyebrow, but over the many years of knowing Legolas, he knew not to ask questions. He undid the lock, and the hamster walked out into his hand.
"There Legolas, she is free." He said, handing the hamster to the elf. "Have fun."
Legolas just grinned. About 10 seconds later, all hell broke lose.
Gimli, who was at the time in front of the TV, just turned it up. "So, Brad, tell us about your girlfriend?" A man, with dyed blonde hair asked some guy on TV.
~*~*~*~*~*
Pippin looked over at Merry, "Well, she is gone. Now what?"
"Now.. I unno.. we could call someone.she told us how to work the fone." Merry said, putting his feet on the table that Rei had told them not to. But Merry's brain had down a detour as she spoke, so strongly to the point, it was lost all on him. After the PowerPoint presentations, and the posters that now lined the walls where clouding his mind. The best thing was that he was blocking most of this out.
"True.. but who do we know to call?" Pippin asked, looking at his cousin.
"You think we can get the shire on this thing?" If you can't tell, the 'genius' Hobbits forgot that they didn't have phones.
Pippin pulled out the phone book, and the two carried it over to the coffee table. " Rei said that everyone is in the fone book. It has to tell us, it would only make sense too." The two poured over the phone book, looking for the shire in the 's's. That was when the phone rang, and Pippin answered, holding it upside down.
"Hello, is the man of the house in?" A telemarketer asked. Pippin looked over at Merry, and then shook his head. "Hello, is anyone there?"
"Pip, who is it? Is it the shire?" Merry asked, leaning over the table while on Miss Stein's number.
"I unno." Pippin had just realized that he was holding it improperly, and changed to make the example that Rei had given him.
"Excuse me sir," The telemarketer said, whose name was Tim, for the sake of my sanity. "Are you the man of the house?"
Pippin dropped the phone a little, "Merry, am I the man of the house?"
Merry shrugged, "I unno. Who is it?"
Pippin tried to put on his manliest voice, which sounded like a little kid, to tell the truth. "Why yes, this is the Man of the house. What can I do for you?" There was a pause, as Tim put him on speaker phone, "Did I mention I was the man of the house?"
"Little boy, Is you mother or father home?" Tim said, as some of his co- workers were listening in.
Here was a pause, "What are you talking about? I am the man of the house?" Some of the evil telemarketers began to grin.
"Do you even know what a condom is?" Half of the telemarketers were now on the floor, holding their side.
You see, telemarketers, most of which are trying to get into some collage, are tricked into becoming demons, and just get nothing but a job out of screwing up someone's day. And do they do it well. Tim was one of the best, with his 100 calls in one hour. Rarely do they get calls like Pip and Merry, so they have to share the job and joy in screwing someone over.
There was another pause, as Pip mouthed condom over at Merry. Merry looked confused at him, and god, we all know that look. "What Pip?"
"Sir, are you questioning me?" Pippin said, not answering Merry.
"Well, no little boy, now, were is your mother?"
"She is out, and my dad is.. well, I unno.. Why do you need to know?!"
Merry smacked his forehead, "Pip, just give me the phone." Pip handed it over, and Merry smirked while he answered. "Has my son been giving you a hard time? Well, what can I do for you?"
"Sir, I was here to sell you some." Tim started.
~*~*~*~*~
Lin leaned back in her chair, knowing that her fellowship members where fine. Gandalf was watching daytime TV, and Sam was working on Dinner. She knew this because Frodo had just called her like she told him to. She only hoped that Gandalf was watching talk shows, and not one of the porno's that came on the under 100 channels. She only hopped that the Wizard had more dignity than that. So she was relaxed, but she could be heard muttering to herself about burning houses coming from Kazoo's desk. She could only smile, and Jake, one of the actors, came up holding out a phone. "It's for you." He said, and handed it to her.
"Hello?" She asked, confused.
"ARAGORN! HAMSTER! VAK-CUM!" She heard Legolas about yell into the phone.
"Slow down!"
A/n:.The Football will have to wait..and you know what, I almost forgot to sell you all somethin'!
White Tree of Gondor paper, for when you need to say I tree to. I need to Tree you.
Chapter Three-Don't touch the fridge
A/M: M is for Memo! Get ready for some football!!!
Kazuo was rushing for work, not that it was anything unusual. Well, it was unusual that this one girl, who was out on her own was now dealing with 3 other people in her apartment. She also had to treat them with the child- like attitude, for they had no clue how most of the crap worked here. "So, do you get how to work the Microwave? And do you know where the Hot pockets are?"(A/M: That my diet!) She asked, finishing the last list of directions. She could only hope that they could read them. After all, she wasn't too sure about how much they could do. "I don't think I have left anything out. Can you handle being on your own?"
There were three nods. Not a bad sign. Not really a good sign either if they had no clue what she was talking about. Which was most likely the case, but Kazuo was going out on a limb here. "My work number is by the phone, and if the lady at the desk says I am not, then ask for Lin or Rei." There was another pause, with more nodding. Kazuko bite her lip, "Aragorn? Legolas? Gimli? Are you all getting all this?" She asked for clarification. The three nodded. (A/m: Note, short, choppy sentences! FLAME ME!) "Okay, I am just gonna leave the numbers here, and if you need anything.. call." She paused, one more time just to let them say something. Nothing came, and she smiled little. "Okay, I'm going now, I will be back at around five, and remember, we are going to Rei's for dinner to night." She grabbed her key off the table by the door and left them alone.
There was nothing said until they were sure that she was down the steps. Aragorn turned to Legolas, "Did you get any of that?"
"Not at all."
"Gimli?"
"Some."
"That's good.what did you get?"
"How to work that.televis-thingy.."
"At least we won't get bored."
Legolas looked at the small little hamster in the cage. It looked back at him with sad eyes, and Legolas nodded at it. (I unno how, but he talks to animals..) "Okay Nibbles, I will let you free. Aragorn, open the cage, I want my friend free!" He said, pointing. Aragorn raised an eyebrow, but over the many years of knowing Legolas, he knew not to ask questions. He undid the lock, and the hamster walked out into his hand.
"There Legolas, she is free." He said, handing the hamster to the elf. "Have fun."
Legolas just grinned. About 10 seconds later, all hell broke lose.
Gimli, who was at the time in front of the TV, just turned it up. "So, Brad, tell us about your girlfriend?" A man, with dyed blonde hair asked some guy on TV.
~*~*~*~*~*
Pippin looked over at Merry, "Well, she is gone. Now what?"
"Now.. I unno.. we could call someone.she told us how to work the fone." Merry said, putting his feet on the table that Rei had told them not to. But Merry's brain had down a detour as she spoke, so strongly to the point, it was lost all on him. After the PowerPoint presentations, and the posters that now lined the walls where clouding his mind. The best thing was that he was blocking most of this out.
"True.. but who do we know to call?" Pippin asked, looking at his cousin.
"You think we can get the shire on this thing?" If you can't tell, the 'genius' Hobbits forgot that they didn't have phones.
Pippin pulled out the phone book, and the two carried it over to the coffee table. " Rei said that everyone is in the fone book. It has to tell us, it would only make sense too." The two poured over the phone book, looking for the shire in the 's's. That was when the phone rang, and Pippin answered, holding it upside down.
"Hello, is the man of the house in?" A telemarketer asked. Pippin looked over at Merry, and then shook his head. "Hello, is anyone there?"
"Pip, who is it? Is it the shire?" Merry asked, leaning over the table while on Miss Stein's number.
"I unno." Pippin had just realized that he was holding it improperly, and changed to make the example that Rei had given him.
"Excuse me sir," The telemarketer said, whose name was Tim, for the sake of my sanity. "Are you the man of the house?"
Pippin dropped the phone a little, "Merry, am I the man of the house?"
Merry shrugged, "I unno. Who is it?"
Pippin tried to put on his manliest voice, which sounded like a little kid, to tell the truth. "Why yes, this is the Man of the house. What can I do for you?" There was a pause, as Tim put him on speaker phone, "Did I mention I was the man of the house?"
"Little boy, Is you mother or father home?" Tim said, as some of his co- workers were listening in.
Here was a pause, "What are you talking about? I am the man of the house?" Some of the evil telemarketers began to grin.
"Do you even know what a condom is?" Half of the telemarketers were now on the floor, holding their side.
You see, telemarketers, most of which are trying to get into some collage, are tricked into becoming demons, and just get nothing but a job out of screwing up someone's day. And do they do it well. Tim was one of the best, with his 100 calls in one hour. Rarely do they get calls like Pip and Merry, so they have to share the job and joy in screwing someone over.
There was another pause, as Pip mouthed condom over at Merry. Merry looked confused at him, and god, we all know that look. "What Pip?"
"Sir, are you questioning me?" Pippin said, not answering Merry.
"Well, no little boy, now, were is your mother?"
"She is out, and my dad is.. well, I unno.. Why do you need to know?!"
Merry smacked his forehead, "Pip, just give me the phone." Pip handed it over, and Merry smirked while he answered. "Has my son been giving you a hard time? Well, what can I do for you?"
"Sir, I was here to sell you some." Tim started.
~*~*~*~*~
Lin leaned back in her chair, knowing that her fellowship members where fine. Gandalf was watching daytime TV, and Sam was working on Dinner. She knew this because Frodo had just called her like she told him to. She only hoped that Gandalf was watching talk shows, and not one of the porno's that came on the under 100 channels. She only hopped that the Wizard had more dignity than that. So she was relaxed, but she could be heard muttering to herself about burning houses coming from Kazoo's desk. She could only smile, and Jake, one of the actors, came up holding out a phone. "It's for you." He said, and handed it to her.
"Hello?" She asked, confused.
"ARAGORN! HAMSTER! VAK-CUM!" She heard Legolas about yell into the phone.
"Slow down!"
A/n:.The Football will have to wait..and you know what, I almost forgot to sell you all somethin'!
White Tree of Gondor paper, for when you need to say I tree to. I need to Tree you.