30 March 2022

I know I've been MIA for the past few days but I've been buy looking for a job. It's harder to find one then I thought. The bar down the street…wasn't just a bar. It was more like a strip club. I'm sure I would have been hired if men got off on looking at pale skin and bones. I didn't even try.

But…I am now a bartender/waitress at a bar named Echo…dumb name I know but it's a job and I get to keep all my tips. I didn't think I was going to get it at first. The owner had been female, something I wasn't expecting. I had dressed to impress a male, but after a few thousand questions she had hired me on the spot. She said I had "the look." I guess she likes people who are a walking freak show.

Alec and I are living in a co-existence. We don't see each other often. He goes to work before I wake up and I go to work before he gets home. I can't say that I really mind it…I've been having more dreams of Ben lately. They could only be caused from seeing Alec on a daily basis.

I miss him. I miss him so bad sometimes I feel like I can't breathe.

And the dreams are so real to me and when I wake up I could almost swear that I smell him in the air. Sometimes I can even smell the blood…on his clothes, on his body, on me…

The smell makes me nauseas but it never chases my love for him away. He did the things he did because I deserved them. I scared him. His feelings for me and his feelings for the blue lady would confuse him. I don't blame him. If anything, I blame her. She always lingered in the background just like cocaine and my feelings towards the others will linger.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over him and I really don't know if I want too. I keep praying that he'll just stroll in through the door. Sometimes I think I could hate him…I mean he did leave me all by myself and after all isn't that why I'm mad at the others?

New York, NY :: 2019 April 29

Jondy cautiously walked though the deafening, dark, and crowded club. Looking around to see if she could spot Ben. He had left hours before her, leaving orders for her to meet him here. Sighing when she couldn't spot him through the throngs of people she made her way to the bar and quickly ordered a drink.

"Hello beautiful."

Jondy rolled her eyes and ignored the man who'd chosen to sit down next to her. She was in no mood to have a conversation with a guy who liked her simply because she looked good in a skirt and tight shirt.

"I like it when girl's are shy. It creates a challenge."

His words were met with another eye roll as she turned to face him. "Look I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested in anything you have to offer."

The guy held his hands up in defense. "Of course the good looking girls are always taken and always bitchy."

Jondy smiled sweetly then turned her attention back to her drink. Just as the guy had walked away a hand grabbed her wrist and jerked her off the stool she was sitting on. Jondy's eyebrows rose as she looked up at Ben. His face was red, his nostrils were flaring, and veins were throbbing. A look of rage ran through his eyes. She knew better then to say anything or try to pull away from the hand that was cutting off the circulation to her wrist.

No one paid any attention to the two of them as he drug her away from the bar and towards the bathrooms. She stood outside while he cleared one and as soon as he pulled her in the door was slammed shut and locked. Jondy was swung towards the white marble sinks. She stumbled and lost her balance, her face hitting the rounded corner of the nearest stained sink. Sharp pains raked her head and rolled down her face.

Jondy cupped her eye from her kneeling position and cried silently. It didn't last long because Ben took a few steps over to her and grabbed her wrist and pulled her up so that she was eye level with him. Jondy opened her eyes, but she couldn't even meet them for long before turning away adding fuel to his fire.

"Who the fuck was that guy?" Ben dropped her onto her feet and pushed her back against the sinks.

He was jealous? Jondy shrugged and stared at the floor. There were so many thoughts running through her head that she knew if she tried to speak she would only start crying. She started to sift through the thoughts of pain and fear when he began to yell. Words that she had heard him say many times before, words that were permanently etched in her mind.

Ben jerked her chin up so that she was looking at him. A lone tear ran down the side of her cheek. "Are you fucking listening to me?"

"Ben I'm…"

"Don't start that I'm sorry bullshit. I've heard it too many time for it to mean anything now." Having said that he began to yell yet again and she shrank back from him.

His screaming only stopped when he heard someone knocking on the door. Jondy brushed her hair back and wiped away her tears when she felt him grab her wrists again and he was pulling her towards and through the door.

"Are you okay?" The guy who had been knocking on the door reached out to her, seeing the marks on her face.

"She's fine!" Ben snapped and yanked her towards as exit sign.

Fifteen minutes later he was pushing her into an elevator. She stood in an opposite corner listening to his labored breathing. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him pull something from a pocket on the inside of his jacket. It was the card. It was the same card that had been given to Jack back at Manticore it was a bit faded and discolored but Ben still had it.

Jondy reached over and snatched it from his hands. "Why do…"

Ben pushed her against the elevator wall and grabbed it back. "Don't you ever fucking touch her!"

"What?" Jondy stared at him in shock.

Ben glared at her and tucked it back into his jacket. "You aren't good enough to touch her. You aren't even pure enough to look at her."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jondy's voice broke and more tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

Her answer was a swift smack across the face. "When we get in the room…just stay away from me. I can't even look at you anymore."

Alec yawned as he entered the apartment. His jacket was tossed carelessly over the counter as he walked towards the bathroom. His shoes were kicked off a long the way. He was thankful to whoever had decided it was unsafe to work construction during storms. It had cut his workday in half but he would still get paid for a full day.

He had to give the civilians he worked with credit. They worked long and hard for their money with little or no complaints. Not that anyone really had time to complain. No one talked really. Talking could cause you to break concentration and send a three hundred pound steel beam crashing down on workers below. No they didn't talk. Didn't really need too.

"No what I need is a warm bath and a nap."

He was almost to the bathroom when he heard her thrashing and mumbling in her sleep. It wasn't the first time he'd heard it, but it was the first time he could make out some of the words. Alec crept softly towards her door and stepped into her room. The shades were closed just enough to cast the room in enough light to make her form out on the bed. They hadn't gotten around to getting blankets yet.

Alec stepped closer to the bed and stood over her. She was clutching the bed as her head rolled back and forth while she mumbled. Sweat shone from exposed skin and her hair that had grown considerably, was strung out. Some stuck to the sweat on her forehead and cheeks. What surprised him the most were the streaks of tears.

"No…I'm sorry…please." Jondy thrashed and turned to her left. Her shirt rode up a little, exposing some of her back. "Ben…"

Alec frowned and was about to walk out of the room when his caught something on the smooth skin of her back. He reached open and pulled the curtain open just a little more. Moving closer to the bed and kneeling down he saw the bubbled and lighter skin of a scar. Since when did X5's have scars?

He paused when she trembled and waited till she stilled. He moved closer and he almost couldn't process what he was seeing. Yeah, it was a scar, but not just any scar. There on her back written for the world to see…were words. Not just one, two, or hell even three words. Mission, duty, and discipline followed by whore…and a word that trailed upwards under her shirt.

His breath caught in his throat. "What the hell?"

Alec backed out of the room and shut her door quietly. He didn't hesitate to grab his cell phone and jacket. He dialed as he took the two flights of stairs with ease.

"Yeah?"

His heart stung when he heard her voice. "Max."

"Alec…what…hell…hello." Max stuttered. "Is Jondy okay?"

"Max…what did he do to her?"

Max heard the anguish in his voice. "What are you talking about?"

"BEN Max. What the fuck did he do to her?"

"What do you mean? Did she tell you anything?" Max's voice was hopeful.

"Do X5's get scars? I mean because I've been shot and been in more then a few fights but I've never gotten any scars."

"I don't know. I don't know, but what's wrong with Jon?" Max shook her head. He wasn't making any sense at all.

Images of how someone who healed as fast as they were injured, could obtain scars ran through his head. Jondy hadn't told them anything about it. "It's nothing Max…she's okay. I gotta go."

Alec dropped the phone in his pocket and rubbed his face with his hands. Regardless of how well he knew her, it scared him to think of how she had gotten those and he wanted to know what she had gone through. He wanted to get to know and understand her. From the beginning. He would have to get his hands on those notebooks.