Title: White Forest
Author: Tazzzkitty, Vero and Pern333333
Fandom: QAF
Pairing: B/M
Rating: R
Archive Permission: ATP and Always, all others ask first
Feedback Sent To: tazackitty @ hotmail.com
Status: New, Complete
Category: Angst, Romance
Disclaimers: Queer As Folk the series, characters and concepts are
the property, copyright and trademark of Cowlip and Showtime. No
ownership is claimed by the author, this work is nonprofit,
noncommercial and not for sale for commercial purposes. Characters
and situations not specifically owned by the creators of QAF or
under copyright, are the sole copyright of the author.
Spoilers: Through season three
Summary: An old trick of Ben's lets a secret out about Brian.
Notes: Written as a live chat round robin. Each authors part is
labeled with their name.
Warnings: None
Vero:
It was late at night and Ben was looking at his work. He was almost
done. Michael went to Babylon alone tonight because Ben couldn't go
because of his work.
Ben looked at his watch. He wanted to go to Babylon and join his
lover. He missed Michael a lot. He decided he would finish his
work later. It was time to have a little fun after all.
When Ben finally arrived at Babylon, he couldn't find the gang
anywhere. Suddenly he spotted them, Brian and Michael, kissing on
the edge of a little tower...
Pern333333:
The club was thumping tonight, the heady scent of sweat mixed with
cologne drifted through the dense air of Babylon.
Ben's heart matched the beat drumming out of the sound system.
There his boyfriend was, kissing and groping Brian, in plain site of
everyone in the club. Ben's feelings were a mixture of disbelief
and rage. He watched as Brian and Michael broke off their kissing
to lock their foreheads together.
Over the loud music, Ben heard someone calling his name. He pulled
his eyes off of the two men and searched for the source of the voice
who knew him.
Over to the left and coming towards him was a tall, blond, built guy
who looked vaguely familiar.
"Do I know you?" Ben shouted to the man coming towards him.
The blond hunk smiled and nodded his head, waiting until he crossed
the few steps that separated him and Ben to speak.
"We met at the white party a few years back. I'm Kai. We had a good
time as I remember."
Ben's eyes grew wide as the realization dawned on him who this
person was. He and Kai had many a threesome and foursome during the
party in Palm Springs. They were an insuperable duo during the
event. When Ben had to leave and come back, he and Kai had shed
tears. But once gone, neither had looked back.
"Do you remember the threesome we had with... what was his name?
Brian something...?" Kai questioned Ben.
Ben stood shocked. He had almost forgotten that he and Brian had not
had sex once or even twice, but four times. The last few times were
hazy because of the drugs that had been passed around among the men.
Kai mistook Ben's expression of shock for one of clear remembrance.
"I see that you do remember. He was so hot! The only problem with
that man was how he went on and on about someone named Mikey."
Ben started to shake as he recalled how, during many of the
escapades, when Brian came, he had cried out to a Mikey.
Kai stepped up to Ben and ran his finger down his chest, stopping at
his belt.
"I wonder whatever happened to the mysterious Brian and his
fascination with that guy Mikey?" Kai pondered.
He leaned into Ben and started to kiss him slowly on the lips, and
Ben responded without even thinking. At that point they both heard a
shrill voice right next to them.
"What the fuck is going on?" Michael screamed.
Brian, right behind Michael, just shook his head and said
quietly, "Well, Well, what do you know?"
Michael turned to Brian angrily.
"Will you just shut the fuck up!"
He whipped around to face his boyfriend and the man that had been
kissing him.
"What the fuck is going on Ben?" He asked again, his fists clenched
in anger.
Vero:
"What the fuck is going on?" repeated Ben, a little exasperated. "I
decided to stop working to join you and what did I see? You and
Brian were kissing like hell."
Michael was in shock. He didn't want to think about that detail,
that Ben could have seen them, but he won back his control and
yelled.
"It's just Brian, which meant nothing, not like you!"
Brian felt his heart break, but tried to handle it the best he could.
He wanted to run away. He thought about yelling at Michael, but he
decided to act like he heard nothing.
"Wow, sorry," said Kai. "I stole a kiss from your boyfriend, it's
all my fault."
Kai had a huge smile on his face. He liked when situations were
shaky and tricky and he was sure he would have a lot of fun here.
Michael glared at Kai, "Who the fuck are you?"
"Michael," said Ben.
"I'm an old threesome partner," said Kai, still grinning.
Brian tried to remember where he had seen that grin before, but he
failed. The situation was beginning to bore him anyway.
"Well Mikey, if you want me, you'll know where to find me," said
Brian, irritated.
At that time Michael wasn't really paying attention to Brian. So he
was stunned when suddenly Kai yelled, "Oh my god, the famous Mikey!"
Michael's eyes widened in shock, as at the same time, Brian went in
the backroom's direction.
"Well, what does that mean?" yelled Michael, confused.
Ben certainly didn't want to tell the story... Michael didn't have
to know what Kai said earlier to him.
"Well, with all the times I heard your name and all...." began Kai.
Ben wanted to stop him, but Michael did it instead.
"You're sure he's an old trick partner?"
This is going to be a long night, thought Ben. Kai was having the
time of his life.
While the others were still bickering, Brian let a trick blow him,
during which he swore to himself that if he was "just Brian and it
meant nothing," he wouldn't touch or kiss Michael, again, ever..
Tazzzkitty:
"Well?" Michael asked when Ben wouldn't answer his question about
Kai.
And since Ben wouldn't answer, Kai decided to do it for him.
"We met a few years ago at the white party, down in Miami," Kai said
with a big smile at Ben and then back to Michael. "I also met..."
but Ben cut him off.
"It doesn't matter anymore!" he yelled loudly, giving Kai a look
that said to him to shut up.
But Kai didn't want to shut up. "Brian..." Kai continued, ignoring
Ben. "Ben, Brian and I knew each other VERY well..." Kai said,
winking at Michael who was even more confused than ever.
But then it clicked in his head what Kai was talking about and his
eyes widened as he looked up at Ben who was biting his lip in his
nervousness.
He had so many things he wanted to ask Ben and to say to Ben that he
couldn't decide where to start, so he asked Kai a question
instead. "And how do you know my name? What were you talking
about?"
Kai opened his mouth to answer, all to glad to supply the
information that Michael wanted, but Ben reached up and clasped his
hand on Kai's shoulder, HARD. "It was nice to see you, Kai," Ben
practically growled. "But you can go now," he said, not too subtly.
"But..." Kai started.
"I said FUCK OFF!" Ben yelled, in an uncharacteristic outburst of
anger, but the whole situation was pissing him off and not the least
of his worries was the fact that he had just seen Brian and Michael
kissing very passionately. Ben pushed Kai away a little too
forcefully and then grabbed Michael by the arm and dragged him
away. Once they were alone near a wall, the two men just glared at
each other.
"So what the hell were you doing kissing him?" they both asked at
the same time.
"I told you he kissed me," Ben said. "He even said it's his fault!"
"Well, I didn't see you trying to get away!" Michael retorted.
"Well, what about you and Brian? I didn't see you trying to get
away either!"
"I told you it's just Brian!" Michael said, defensively. "It
doesn't count!"
"Doesn't count?!" Ben yelled. "How many times did you think that
excuse is going to work? Do you think I don't know how you two feel
about each other?"
Michael was stunned into silence. He opened his mouth to refute
that statement, but then closed it again as he realized what exactly
Ben had said. His lips pursed in a scowl as he pouted because he
couldn't think of a way to defend himself.
"Can we get out of here and talk about this?" Ben asked.
Michael looked at Ben for a moment and then nodded. "Sure. Just
let me go tell Brian I'm leaving."
"Why the hell do you always have to tell him everything you're
doing?!" Ben yelled.
"We came here together!" Michael said. "I have to let him know I'm
leaving," he said, getting even more irritated and he stomped away
from Ben before he could say anything else.
Michael searched the dance floor for Brian, but didn't see him. He
sighed and headed for the backroom.
Just as he was walking inside, he almost ran into Brian as he was
exiting. "Hey. I'm leaving with Ben," Michael said.
Brian barely looked at Michael and pushed past him. "So leave," he
said as he walked by, his voice monotone.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Michael asked, but Brian just
kept walking and disappeared into the crowd of dancing men, leaving
Michael even more confused than ever.
Pern333333:
"Well, fuck you too!" Michael said out loud as he walked back to
where Ben was waiting for him.
He stopped next to his boyfriend and looked up into his
face, "Ready?" Michael asked testily.
Ben just nodded and walked out of the club and down the stairs,
leaving Michael to follow behind.
Kai was waiting outside of Babylon as well, chatting with another
Fabio look-alike. He spied Ben walking off in a huff and the cute
Michael following a short distance behind.
He broke off his conversation with the other man and stepped into
place behind "Mikey."
Kai reached out and tapped the smaller man on the shoulder.
Michael turned around with a "Wha...?" He stopped, mid-word, as
soon as he saw who had touched him. "What the fuck do you want?" he
growled.
"Now, now. Is that any way to treat a new friend?" Kai answered,
condescendingly.
Michael stopped in his tracks and just stared at the audacious man.
"I don't know you. I don't want to know you. Because of you, my
boyfriend decided to play kissy kissy."
Michael was pissed.
Kai steeped back in shock at the anger that leaked through Michael's
voice.
"Look, fine, whatever! I just wanted to finish what I was saying in
the club, when I got interrupted."
Michael said nothing. He just stood there and waited. His heart
started to pound in his chest.
"You heard and understood that Ben and I had gotten a little freaky
at that white party, and you also heard that Brian was involved.
What you didn't hear was that Brian was with us more than just once."
Michael started to get light headed. His heart was beating a mile a
minute and his stomach felt like lead. Why hadn't his boyfriend or
his best friend seen fit to tell him all of this? Why did it have to
be the one that the two of them had fucked, together? Michael's
blood was boiling.
Kai continued, his smile growing wider.
"Also, in answer to your question, I knew your name and a little
about you because of one simple reason. Brian."
Michael sighed and rolled his eyes. "Of course Brian told you about
me. He tells everyone about me. I'm his best friend."
Kai widened his eyes as he said, truthfully, "I've never yelled my
best friend's name while I was coming!"
Michael's heart stopped.
"Wha... what did you say?"
"I said that Brian would practically scream your name while he came.
Every time. It's nothing new to those who have been to more than one
White Party. It's known around that although he may be the best
fuck, you also have to take him screaming out `Mikey' each time you
get fucked."
Kai shrugged his shoulders and started to walk forward, towards the
club.
"Just thought you'd like to know," he said, outwardly oblivious to
the shock and pain that his words caused the adorable little man.
Michael stood rooted to the concrete. His mind was running around in
circles.
Brian says my name? While he's fucking? Other guys? It's well known?
What the fuck is going on?
"Michael, you coming or not?"
Michael jumped out of his skin at the sound of Ben's voice behind
him.
"Shit, Ben!"
"Michael, you coming or not?" he repeated.
Vero:
"Go on, Ben. I forgot something inside..."
Michael couldn't think straight and he couldn't deal with Ben now.
He just wanted one thing: to know more about what he just learned.
So, he went back to the club to chase Kai, who was dancing with
another guy.
Michael put his hand on his shoulder.
"I wanna know more about you said."
"I'm dancing right now," said Kai, enjoying to the hilt screwing
with Michael.
But, Michael wasn't in the mood for any shit; he looked at the guy
Kai was dancing with and said rudely, "Get the fuck away now!"
The guy was kind of stunned by Michael, who certainly had an angelic
face, but on it was a look of a serial killer in full mode.
Michael, finally persuaded Kai to go somewhere quieter and have a
drink. They went to the dinner. He knew his mother wouldn't be
there tonight. It was her day off, so they would have a little
privacy.
Kai ordered not only a drink, but a full meal. He then told Michael
that he wasn't paying for it. Kai was laughing at Michael's face,
which was showed his confusion, anger, shock, and various other
emotions that were running inside of him.
"So?"
"SO, what?"
"I want to know everything. What the fuck you were talking about."
"I'm surprised your boyfriend never told you... Brian Kinney is a
legend."
Michael sighed.
"But, you are more famous than him! I'm so glad I can put a face to
the name!"
"Well, this is news for me, and I had no idea about all this, so
what? How?"
"Well, I don't know all the details, darling."
"I'm not your darling!" corrected Michael.
"Well, Brian Kinney is known for two things. When he is cumming, he
yells the name Mikey, with each trick, every year. The other thing.
he is a freak who makes a rule to catch each year the traditional
wedding bouquet."
"What?" blurted Michael.
"Yes, and he is damn good. He has a record. It's almost 7 years that
he got the bouquet each time. I think that man has a problem with
the wedding thing... or maybe he is just dying to get married so
each year he caught the bouquet."
Michael was totally stunned. This was a Brian he didn't know and he
could hardly picture.
"True, baby, and you know what? Now that I'm seeing you, I
understand why he did that now...." Kai said, eating at the same
time, asking for another portion of French fries.
Tazzzkitty:
Michael blushed at Kai's words and Kai smiled widely at him,
thinking Michael looked even more beautiful when he blushed.
"You really didn't know any of this?" Kai asked. "You had no clue?"
Michael shook his head. "No..." he said, softly.
"Well, that man's got it for you. BAD," Kai said, as he took a
large drink of his soda.
Michael just sat in silence for a few minutes, as Kai continued to
eat. "I have to go," Michael said, suddenly, standing up out of the
booth.
"Are you okay?" Kai asked. "You want a ride somewhere?"
"No, I'm fine. Thanks," Michael said, not knowing what else to say
and he walked out of the diner.
As he was walking out the door, his cell phone rang and he pulled it
out of his back pocket to see who was calling. Seeing Ben's number,
he sighed and turned the phone off and shoved it back into his
pocket before stepping to the curb and hailing a cab. He got inside
and gave the cabbie Brian's address.
An hour later, Michael stood looking down into a box filled with
seven old wilted wedding bouquets that he found shoved into the back
of a cabinet in Brian's loft.
He was in shock. He wasn't entirely sure whether he believed what
Kai had told him until he saw the evidence for himself. And now he
didn't know what to think.
He was still standing there, looking down into the box when he heard
the loft door slide open. He looked up to see Brian coming through
the door with not one, but two tricks in tow behind him. Brian
stopped in his tracks when he saw that Michael was in his loft.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian asked, more than a little
irritated, especially since he was still mad at Mikey for what he
had said earlier.
Then Brian saw what Michael was looking at and his heart began to
pound in his chest. He looked from the box to Michael and back
again.
Brian was suddenly overcome with anger and he looked back at
Michael, his forehead creased in his rage. "Get the fuck out of my
loft, Mikey. I'm busy."
Pern333333:
Michael, for once, was not going to back down to Brian.
He walked up to the two tricks that were hanging all over his best
friend.
"Get the fuck off him!"
Michael, using force that many have never seen him use, pushed the
two men, at once, off of Brian. They fell in a heap, tangled
together.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing Michael?" Brian shouted.
The taller of the two men, on the floor, stood up and moved as to
come at Michael. His fists raised. Michael moved backward and to
the side, letting the other man's momentum carry him back to the
floor. He looked down at the other trick, still prone on the floor.
While his attention was riveted on the two strangers, he missed
Brian walking into the kitchen and opening a drawer. Brian pulled
out a powder-coated, silver 9 mil. handgun. He walked back to where
Michael was staring down the two tricks. Brian pointed the glock at
the nearest one and told him in a deadly voice, "Get the fuck out."
The trick realized that his life was in his hands. He stood up
slowly and pulled his friend to his feet. They backed out of the
loft with their hands held high, their eyes never leaving Brian's,
as he held the gun steadily pointed at the two men.
Michael was shocked to the core. He never had seen Brian hold a gun,
much less know that his friend kept one in his loft. Strangely,
Michael also felt a stirring in his loins. The site of Brian holding
those men at bay with a gun was turning him on, fast.
The two tricks, once out the door, turned tail and ran down the
steps.
Brian lowered the handgun and took a deep breath. He turned to
Michael with a deadly look in his eyes.
"Don't ever, ever, come into my loft again and interrupt me while
I'm busy."
Michael's mouth fell open. "Fuck you Brian! I'll do whatever I damn
well please!"
Brian and Michael stood toe to toe, their faces close.
Michael knew why Brian was acting this way. He understood that when
his friend is cornered with facing the truth about himself, he acts
out in complete and total anger.
He also knew that this one time, he was not going to back down.
"Fuck you," Michael said again.
Brian's face flashed a glimpse of shock; he couldn't believe that
his Mikey was standing up for himself, to him.
"You have no right..." Brian started.
"I have every right, Brian. You are mine, always have been, always
fucking will be. I realized a few things tonight; one of them is
that you belong to me. The other is, we have a hell of a lot to
discuss, Brian Kinney."
Brian flinched as the meaning of Michael's words penetrated his
anger-fogged mind.
"Wha... what the fuck did you just say?" he whispered.
Michael grinned.
Vero:
"You heard me damn well, Kinney," said Michael.
Brian recovered from his shock, but he wasn't ready to give up, even
though his heart was still racing.
"So, where is the good professor? And since when do I belong to you?
Last I heard I was just Brian, who meant nothing to you," he argued.
Michael wondered what the fuck Brian was talking about.
"You don't even remember... you are so pathetic Michael!"
Michael was even more confused than ever.
"It's always about you. YOU realized, YOU want to discuss, YOU
decided to make an expedition into my loft to find whatever YOU
wanted to find, and YOU don't even know what I'm talking about."
This is harder than I thought! Brian wasn't falling into his arms
like he expected... Maybe he shouldn't have emphasized what he knew
right away.
Brian came closer to the box where the wedding bouquets were held.
"Seven bouquets, now you know... and you fucking didn't mind
entering my loft and doing what you wanted..."
"Well, maybe if you had been more honest with me instead of driving
me crazy, teasing me, rejecting me, all those years I..."
But Brian interrupted him again, "Here we go again. YOU, YOU, YOU!"
Michael closed his mouth... he was shocked because there was not as
much anger in that last sentence of Brian's. There was plenty of
pain though, and he could feel it.
"Seven bouquet, seven years... I'm stupid. In fact the pathetic one
is me."
"Brian."
"I'm tired, I need to sleep," he said as he threw to Michael the
older bouquet of the seven.
Michael caught the bouquet but protested, "Wait, we have to talk.
This is serious Brian."
"Well, come to me when you stop thinking about you... and start
thinking about us..."
Michael stood speechless this time, as Brian was about to close the
door of his room. "The answer is in the bouquet."
Michael, who was pragmatic, looked inside the bouquet but found
nothing, no message, no word written either. "There's nothing
inside, Brian," he stated.
"Hopefully it won't take you 18 years to find out..." Brian said
with a sigh and closed his door.
Tazzzkitty:
Michael stood there for a minute, looking at the closed bedroom. He
could see Brian's form behind the textured glass as he slipped off
his jeans and crawled into bed. Michael wanted nothing more than to
open up those doors and crawl into bed with Brian, but he knew he
couldn't do that.
He looked down at the bouquet in his hands and then sighed and
turned around and walked out of the loft. He walked slowly down the
stairs, feeling somehow as if he was walking towards his own death
and each step was harder to take than the last.
Finally, he sat down on a step, unwilling to move further away from
Brian before he had a chance to think things through a little more.
He stared down at the bouquet of white carnations that he held in
his hands. It was all dried out and crumbled if he held it the
wrong way. He spun the bouquet slowly between his fingers and
racked his brain, thinking what he could possibly learn from the
thing.
Seven years... for seven years, Brian had made a pledge to catch
that bouquet at the white party. Did that mean Brian had been ready
to be with him for that long? Could that really be possible? And
why seven years? What happened when they were 24 that had cause
some change in Brian?
Michael thought and thought, for how long he didn't know, but he
still couldn't think of anything. He looked at his watch and saw
that it was after midnight. He stood up, knowing that he should go
home. Ben was probably already either pissed or worried sick.
Probably both.
But Michael couldn't bring himself to walk down those stairs and
before he knew it he was walking up them instead of down. And less
than a minute later, he was walking back inside the loft and towards
the bedroom.
Michael walked up the few stairs to Brian's bedroom and opened the
doors. Brian was laying there on the bed, looking up at Michael.
Michael crossed to the bed and kneeled down on the floor next to
Brian's head, setting the bouquet on the nightstand. He looked into
Brian's expectant eyes for a few moments, not really knowing what to
say, where to start.
He took a deep breath and just let it all out. "I'm sorry I came
into your loft and looked through your things, Brian. And I'm sorry
I yelled at you and pushed those guys off of you. I should have
just come to you and asked you the truth instead of getting upset
and snooping around."
Michael stopped, waiting for Brian to say something, but he just
kept looking up at him, waiting for Michael to continue.
"It's just... I was in shock, I guess. I mean, to know that all
these years..." Michael trailed off and looked down at the duvet,
which he grabbed between his hands, giving him something to take out
his nervous tension on.
After an almost inappropriately long time, Michael suddenly looked
back up at Brian. "I love you so much, Brian!" he said, more loudly
than he had intended and he immediately felt himself begin to
blush. He looked down again.
Brian reached out and grabbed Michael's hand and Michael looked back
up at him. Brian pulled on Michael's hand, leading him to lean down
and Brian gave him a small kiss.
"I love you too, Mikey," Brian said, softly, and Michael smiled down
at Brian as he felt a warmth flood his body.
Michael pulled away and stood up, the smile growing on his face,
intending to join Brian in the bed. But just before he could kick
off his shoes, Brian spoke again.
"So did you figure out what the bouquet meant?"
Michael just stood there, flustered. "No."
"Well, come back when you figure it out," Brian said, with no hint
that he was joking.
"You can't be serious," Michael said, his voice cracking.
"I'm dead serious," Brian said and he rolled over onto his side,
away from Michael, pulling the duvet over him as if he meant to go
straight to sleep.
Pern333333:
Michael stood there staring down at Brian's prone form. His mind was
racing in several different directions. The silent loft carried the
sounds of the clock ticking and tocking, in the kitchen, to the
bedroom. Michael could hear his heart beat. He wasn't sure if Brian
was joking around with him or not, and he didn't want to chance it,
if he wasn't.
As he sat there on the soft bed, the sheen from the lights over the
headboard illuminated the contours of Brian's body, giving his lean
lithe shape an eerie cast.
What in the hell is Brian trying to get at with this god damn
bouquet? Why is it so damn important?
Brian laid there on the bed, trying to decide whether or not to give
up the game. It was important to him that Mikey figure out the
meaning behind the bouquets, especially the oldest one, but he was
afraid that Mikey might give up and take off. Brian had waited years
for Michael to come to the realization that Brian loved him. He
didn't want to have to wait even longer for his soul mate to figure
out the rest.
Fuck it, Brian thought to himself. If Mikey loves me as much as he
says he does, then he needs to understand it all.
He debated on turning over to his side, so that he could face Mikey.
Brian wanted to see the look in his eyes when the meaning became
clear.
Just as he was about to roll over Michael started to speak...
"I remember Bri," he said softly.
"You were on Thanksgiving break from school. Ma and Uncle Vic had
gone to the store to pick up the rest of the crap that she usually
forgets. Typical ritual." Michael swallowed down his
nervousness. "We were sitting up in my room, looking at comics. You
were bitching about having to be R.A."
Brian rolled over onto his side, facing Michael. His face showed no
clue as to whether Michael was correct in his theory, or not.
It had started to snow outside, I think it was pretty late at night
too, maybe 8 or 9pm. The lights started to flicker. I walked over to
where Ma kept her candles in the hallway closet. On my way back the
power went completely out. I jumped and yelled. I found my way back
into the room by listening to you laugh your ass off at me."
Brian slowly smiled at Mikey.
"I remember setting the candles down on the nightstand and one on my
old dresser. You took out your Zippo and lit each of them. The scent
of Apple Cinnamon wafted through the room. That was Ma's favorite
scent."
Michael looked deep into Brian's eyes, as he drew in another breath
before going on with his story.
"I walked over to the window and looked out and down into the
backyard. It looked like a white forest, with houses instead of
trees. The snow was falling even stronger than before and we both
wondered when Ma and Uncle Vic would be able to make it back."
Brian slowly sat up. He pulled the sheet over his legs and up to his
waist. Michael turned on the bed and faced him more directly.
"I wanted to open the window and taste a snowflake. You laughed at
me about that as well, but I did it anyways. There was a strong gust
of wind that blew cold air into the room. The blast snuffed out all
but one of the candles. You came up behind me and helped me shut the
window. The room had dropped several degrees in temperature and I
remember shaking because I was so cold."
Brian moved a little closer to Mikey, his eyes shinning brightly.
"You put your arms around me and held me in close. I stopped
shivering within seconds, but you didn't let go. The light from the
one remaining candle placed a spell on the room. You even mentioned
it yourself. I looked up into your eyes and smiled and I said
something retarded like 'Bri, I love you.' You leaned down and
kissed me, while you laughed softly. I was expecting you to say
something like 'Me too, Mikey' or some shit."
Michael reached out for Brian's hands that were laid in his lap. His
hands felt warm and soft. Brian clenched Michael's hand in his own
and brought it up to his mouth, placing a soft chaste kiss on the
top. Michael shivered at the touch of Brian's lips.
"But, you never said anything like you normally would, Bri. You
looked into my eyes and told me..."
Brian cut into Michael's story.
''You're eyes shine in the pale light of the snow, Mikey."
"And you looked at me and smiled, and asked if I thought the
backyard looked like a small forest of white glitter," Brian
whispered.
Michael nodded his head, and a ghost of a smile played on his lips.
"I told you "yes" and you leaned over to kiss me. But I stopped you
and said, 'Did you know that the word bouquet comes from the word
bosquet in olde French that means small forest?' You shook your
head at me. Then I said 'One day Mikey, I'll bring you home a
bouquet, drizzled with snow. You get your own personal small white
forest and I get to see your eyes sparkle.' You smiled and giggled."
Michael laughed softly along with Brian, while they replayed the
scene in their mind's eyes. Michael leaned into Brian, his forehead
lightly touching Brian's.
"And, then I said, 'When Bri?' and you smiled and said, 'Each and
every year, I'll have one ready and waiting, waiting for the right
time, right place.'"
Michael sighed and drew back away slightly from Brian's warmth.
"I thought that had to be the most romantic thing anyone had ever
said to me. It also weirded me out though..."
Brian wrinkled up his forehead.
"Why?"
"Because, it came from you Brian. Brian fucking Kinney, who doesn't
do love. Doesn't do romance. And yet here you were holding me and
saying some of the most sappiest words anyone could have ever heard."
Michael took the hand that Brian was holding, and imitating his
gesture, he brought Brian's hand up to his full, pouty lips and
ghosted a kiss over the top of the other man's knuckles.
"I thought my heart was gonna fucking burst. And you know what? I
remember for the first few years I always waited for you to give me
a little forest of white, but it never happened. I think I know why,
now."
Brian stood up and walked stark naked to the big set of picture
windows in the living room. The glow of the moon accented the lines
and planes of his slender frame. Michael followed him into the other
room. Brian stood there, in front of the window, and looked out
over the skyline of Pittsburgh. Michael stood silently behind him,
waiting for Brian to say something, say anything.
"Why Mikey?" Brian questioned softly.
Michael smiled and stepped up to the one person in his lifetime that
knew him... through and through.
"Because I wasn't ready. You were waiting for me to be ready."
He reached out and trailed a finger gently down along Brian's
shoulder blades, ending at the middle of his smooth back.
"Bri?"
Brian shivered with the sensations that Michael had caused with his
simple touch.
"Mikey?"
Brian turned around and reached out for Michael, pulling the raven-
haired beauty in and held him next to his heart.
Michael laid his head on Brian's muscled chest. He listened to his
heart beat for a few seconds before looking up into the eyes of a
man he had loved for over half a lifetime.
"I'm ready."
Fini~~~
Author: Tazzzkitty, Vero and Pern333333
Fandom: QAF
Pairing: B/M
Rating: R
Archive Permission: ATP and Always, all others ask first
Feedback Sent To: tazackitty @ hotmail.com
Status: New, Complete
Category: Angst, Romance
Disclaimers: Queer As Folk the series, characters and concepts are
the property, copyright and trademark of Cowlip and Showtime. No
ownership is claimed by the author, this work is nonprofit,
noncommercial and not for sale for commercial purposes. Characters
and situations not specifically owned by the creators of QAF or
under copyright, are the sole copyright of the author.
Spoilers: Through season three
Summary: An old trick of Ben's lets a secret out about Brian.
Notes: Written as a live chat round robin. Each authors part is
labeled with their name.
Warnings: None
Vero:
It was late at night and Ben was looking at his work. He was almost
done. Michael went to Babylon alone tonight because Ben couldn't go
because of his work.
Ben looked at his watch. He wanted to go to Babylon and join his
lover. He missed Michael a lot. He decided he would finish his
work later. It was time to have a little fun after all.
When Ben finally arrived at Babylon, he couldn't find the gang
anywhere. Suddenly he spotted them, Brian and Michael, kissing on
the edge of a little tower...
Pern333333:
The club was thumping tonight, the heady scent of sweat mixed with
cologne drifted through the dense air of Babylon.
Ben's heart matched the beat drumming out of the sound system.
There his boyfriend was, kissing and groping Brian, in plain site of
everyone in the club. Ben's feelings were a mixture of disbelief
and rage. He watched as Brian and Michael broke off their kissing
to lock their foreheads together.
Over the loud music, Ben heard someone calling his name. He pulled
his eyes off of the two men and searched for the source of the voice
who knew him.
Over to the left and coming towards him was a tall, blond, built guy
who looked vaguely familiar.
"Do I know you?" Ben shouted to the man coming towards him.
The blond hunk smiled and nodded his head, waiting until he crossed
the few steps that separated him and Ben to speak.
"We met at the white party a few years back. I'm Kai. We had a good
time as I remember."
Ben's eyes grew wide as the realization dawned on him who this
person was. He and Kai had many a threesome and foursome during the
party in Palm Springs. They were an insuperable duo during the
event. When Ben had to leave and come back, he and Kai had shed
tears. But once gone, neither had looked back.
"Do you remember the threesome we had with... what was his name?
Brian something...?" Kai questioned Ben.
Ben stood shocked. He had almost forgotten that he and Brian had not
had sex once or even twice, but four times. The last few times were
hazy because of the drugs that had been passed around among the men.
Kai mistook Ben's expression of shock for one of clear remembrance.
"I see that you do remember. He was so hot! The only problem with
that man was how he went on and on about someone named Mikey."
Ben started to shake as he recalled how, during many of the
escapades, when Brian came, he had cried out to a Mikey.
Kai stepped up to Ben and ran his finger down his chest, stopping at
his belt.
"I wonder whatever happened to the mysterious Brian and his
fascination with that guy Mikey?" Kai pondered.
He leaned into Ben and started to kiss him slowly on the lips, and
Ben responded without even thinking. At that point they both heard a
shrill voice right next to them.
"What the fuck is going on?" Michael screamed.
Brian, right behind Michael, just shook his head and said
quietly, "Well, Well, what do you know?"
Michael turned to Brian angrily.
"Will you just shut the fuck up!"
He whipped around to face his boyfriend and the man that had been
kissing him.
"What the fuck is going on Ben?" He asked again, his fists clenched
in anger.
Vero:
"What the fuck is going on?" repeated Ben, a little exasperated. "I
decided to stop working to join you and what did I see? You and
Brian were kissing like hell."
Michael was in shock. He didn't want to think about that detail,
that Ben could have seen them, but he won back his control and
yelled.
"It's just Brian, which meant nothing, not like you!"
Brian felt his heart break, but tried to handle it the best he could.
He wanted to run away. He thought about yelling at Michael, but he
decided to act like he heard nothing.
"Wow, sorry," said Kai. "I stole a kiss from your boyfriend, it's
all my fault."
Kai had a huge smile on his face. He liked when situations were
shaky and tricky and he was sure he would have a lot of fun here.
Michael glared at Kai, "Who the fuck are you?"
"Michael," said Ben.
"I'm an old threesome partner," said Kai, still grinning.
Brian tried to remember where he had seen that grin before, but he
failed. The situation was beginning to bore him anyway.
"Well Mikey, if you want me, you'll know where to find me," said
Brian, irritated.
At that time Michael wasn't really paying attention to Brian. So he
was stunned when suddenly Kai yelled, "Oh my god, the famous Mikey!"
Michael's eyes widened in shock, as at the same time, Brian went in
the backroom's direction.
"Well, what does that mean?" yelled Michael, confused.
Ben certainly didn't want to tell the story... Michael didn't have
to know what Kai said earlier to him.
"Well, with all the times I heard your name and all...." began Kai.
Ben wanted to stop him, but Michael did it instead.
"You're sure he's an old trick partner?"
This is going to be a long night, thought Ben. Kai was having the
time of his life.
While the others were still bickering, Brian let a trick blow him,
during which he swore to himself that if he was "just Brian and it
meant nothing," he wouldn't touch or kiss Michael, again, ever..
Tazzzkitty:
"Well?" Michael asked when Ben wouldn't answer his question about
Kai.
And since Ben wouldn't answer, Kai decided to do it for him.
"We met a few years ago at the white party, down in Miami," Kai said
with a big smile at Ben and then back to Michael. "I also met..."
but Ben cut him off.
"It doesn't matter anymore!" he yelled loudly, giving Kai a look
that said to him to shut up.
But Kai didn't want to shut up. "Brian..." Kai continued, ignoring
Ben. "Ben, Brian and I knew each other VERY well..." Kai said,
winking at Michael who was even more confused than ever.
But then it clicked in his head what Kai was talking about and his
eyes widened as he looked up at Ben who was biting his lip in his
nervousness.
He had so many things he wanted to ask Ben and to say to Ben that he
couldn't decide where to start, so he asked Kai a question
instead. "And how do you know my name? What were you talking
about?"
Kai opened his mouth to answer, all to glad to supply the
information that Michael wanted, but Ben reached up and clasped his
hand on Kai's shoulder, HARD. "It was nice to see you, Kai," Ben
practically growled. "But you can go now," he said, not too subtly.
"But..." Kai started.
"I said FUCK OFF!" Ben yelled, in an uncharacteristic outburst of
anger, but the whole situation was pissing him off and not the least
of his worries was the fact that he had just seen Brian and Michael
kissing very passionately. Ben pushed Kai away a little too
forcefully and then grabbed Michael by the arm and dragged him
away. Once they were alone near a wall, the two men just glared at
each other.
"So what the hell were you doing kissing him?" they both asked at
the same time.
"I told you he kissed me," Ben said. "He even said it's his fault!"
"Well, I didn't see you trying to get away!" Michael retorted.
"Well, what about you and Brian? I didn't see you trying to get
away either!"
"I told you it's just Brian!" Michael said, defensively. "It
doesn't count!"
"Doesn't count?!" Ben yelled. "How many times did you think that
excuse is going to work? Do you think I don't know how you two feel
about each other?"
Michael was stunned into silence. He opened his mouth to refute
that statement, but then closed it again as he realized what exactly
Ben had said. His lips pursed in a scowl as he pouted because he
couldn't think of a way to defend himself.
"Can we get out of here and talk about this?" Ben asked.
Michael looked at Ben for a moment and then nodded. "Sure. Just
let me go tell Brian I'm leaving."
"Why the hell do you always have to tell him everything you're
doing?!" Ben yelled.
"We came here together!" Michael said. "I have to let him know I'm
leaving," he said, getting even more irritated and he stomped away
from Ben before he could say anything else.
Michael searched the dance floor for Brian, but didn't see him. He
sighed and headed for the backroom.
Just as he was walking inside, he almost ran into Brian as he was
exiting. "Hey. I'm leaving with Ben," Michael said.
Brian barely looked at Michael and pushed past him. "So leave," he
said as he walked by, his voice monotone.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Michael asked, but Brian just
kept walking and disappeared into the crowd of dancing men, leaving
Michael even more confused than ever.
Pern333333:
"Well, fuck you too!" Michael said out loud as he walked back to
where Ben was waiting for him.
He stopped next to his boyfriend and looked up into his
face, "Ready?" Michael asked testily.
Ben just nodded and walked out of the club and down the stairs,
leaving Michael to follow behind.
Kai was waiting outside of Babylon as well, chatting with another
Fabio look-alike. He spied Ben walking off in a huff and the cute
Michael following a short distance behind.
He broke off his conversation with the other man and stepped into
place behind "Mikey."
Kai reached out and tapped the smaller man on the shoulder.
Michael turned around with a "Wha...?" He stopped, mid-word, as
soon as he saw who had touched him. "What the fuck do you want?" he
growled.
"Now, now. Is that any way to treat a new friend?" Kai answered,
condescendingly.
Michael stopped in his tracks and just stared at the audacious man.
"I don't know you. I don't want to know you. Because of you, my
boyfriend decided to play kissy kissy."
Michael was pissed.
Kai steeped back in shock at the anger that leaked through Michael's
voice.
"Look, fine, whatever! I just wanted to finish what I was saying in
the club, when I got interrupted."
Michael said nothing. He just stood there and waited. His heart
started to pound in his chest.
"You heard and understood that Ben and I had gotten a little freaky
at that white party, and you also heard that Brian was involved.
What you didn't hear was that Brian was with us more than just once."
Michael started to get light headed. His heart was beating a mile a
minute and his stomach felt like lead. Why hadn't his boyfriend or
his best friend seen fit to tell him all of this? Why did it have to
be the one that the two of them had fucked, together? Michael's
blood was boiling.
Kai continued, his smile growing wider.
"Also, in answer to your question, I knew your name and a little
about you because of one simple reason. Brian."
Michael sighed and rolled his eyes. "Of course Brian told you about
me. He tells everyone about me. I'm his best friend."
Kai widened his eyes as he said, truthfully, "I've never yelled my
best friend's name while I was coming!"
Michael's heart stopped.
"Wha... what did you say?"
"I said that Brian would practically scream your name while he came.
Every time. It's nothing new to those who have been to more than one
White Party. It's known around that although he may be the best
fuck, you also have to take him screaming out `Mikey' each time you
get fucked."
Kai shrugged his shoulders and started to walk forward, towards the
club.
"Just thought you'd like to know," he said, outwardly oblivious to
the shock and pain that his words caused the adorable little man.
Michael stood rooted to the concrete. His mind was running around in
circles.
Brian says my name? While he's fucking? Other guys? It's well known?
What the fuck is going on?
"Michael, you coming or not?"
Michael jumped out of his skin at the sound of Ben's voice behind
him.
"Shit, Ben!"
"Michael, you coming or not?" he repeated.
Vero:
"Go on, Ben. I forgot something inside..."
Michael couldn't think straight and he couldn't deal with Ben now.
He just wanted one thing: to know more about what he just learned.
So, he went back to the club to chase Kai, who was dancing with
another guy.
Michael put his hand on his shoulder.
"I wanna know more about you said."
"I'm dancing right now," said Kai, enjoying to the hilt screwing
with Michael.
But, Michael wasn't in the mood for any shit; he looked at the guy
Kai was dancing with and said rudely, "Get the fuck away now!"
The guy was kind of stunned by Michael, who certainly had an angelic
face, but on it was a look of a serial killer in full mode.
Michael, finally persuaded Kai to go somewhere quieter and have a
drink. They went to the dinner. He knew his mother wouldn't be
there tonight. It was her day off, so they would have a little
privacy.
Kai ordered not only a drink, but a full meal. He then told Michael
that he wasn't paying for it. Kai was laughing at Michael's face,
which was showed his confusion, anger, shock, and various other
emotions that were running inside of him.
"So?"
"SO, what?"
"I want to know everything. What the fuck you were talking about."
"I'm surprised your boyfriend never told you... Brian Kinney is a
legend."
Michael sighed.
"But, you are more famous than him! I'm so glad I can put a face to
the name!"
"Well, this is news for me, and I had no idea about all this, so
what? How?"
"Well, I don't know all the details, darling."
"I'm not your darling!" corrected Michael.
"Well, Brian Kinney is known for two things. When he is cumming, he
yells the name Mikey, with each trick, every year. The other thing.
he is a freak who makes a rule to catch each year the traditional
wedding bouquet."
"What?" blurted Michael.
"Yes, and he is damn good. He has a record. It's almost 7 years that
he got the bouquet each time. I think that man has a problem with
the wedding thing... or maybe he is just dying to get married so
each year he caught the bouquet."
Michael was totally stunned. This was a Brian he didn't know and he
could hardly picture.
"True, baby, and you know what? Now that I'm seeing you, I
understand why he did that now...." Kai said, eating at the same
time, asking for another portion of French fries.
Tazzzkitty:
Michael blushed at Kai's words and Kai smiled widely at him,
thinking Michael looked even more beautiful when he blushed.
"You really didn't know any of this?" Kai asked. "You had no clue?"
Michael shook his head. "No..." he said, softly.
"Well, that man's got it for you. BAD," Kai said, as he took a
large drink of his soda.
Michael just sat in silence for a few minutes, as Kai continued to
eat. "I have to go," Michael said, suddenly, standing up out of the
booth.
"Are you okay?" Kai asked. "You want a ride somewhere?"
"No, I'm fine. Thanks," Michael said, not knowing what else to say
and he walked out of the diner.
As he was walking out the door, his cell phone rang and he pulled it
out of his back pocket to see who was calling. Seeing Ben's number,
he sighed and turned the phone off and shoved it back into his
pocket before stepping to the curb and hailing a cab. He got inside
and gave the cabbie Brian's address.
An hour later, Michael stood looking down into a box filled with
seven old wilted wedding bouquets that he found shoved into the back
of a cabinet in Brian's loft.
He was in shock. He wasn't entirely sure whether he believed what
Kai had told him until he saw the evidence for himself. And now he
didn't know what to think.
He was still standing there, looking down into the box when he heard
the loft door slide open. He looked up to see Brian coming through
the door with not one, but two tricks in tow behind him. Brian
stopped in his tracks when he saw that Michael was in his loft.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian asked, more than a little
irritated, especially since he was still mad at Mikey for what he
had said earlier.
Then Brian saw what Michael was looking at and his heart began to
pound in his chest. He looked from the box to Michael and back
again.
Brian was suddenly overcome with anger and he looked back at
Michael, his forehead creased in his rage. "Get the fuck out of my
loft, Mikey. I'm busy."
Pern333333:
Michael, for once, was not going to back down to Brian.
He walked up to the two tricks that were hanging all over his best
friend.
"Get the fuck off him!"
Michael, using force that many have never seen him use, pushed the
two men, at once, off of Brian. They fell in a heap, tangled
together.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing Michael?" Brian shouted.
The taller of the two men, on the floor, stood up and moved as to
come at Michael. His fists raised. Michael moved backward and to
the side, letting the other man's momentum carry him back to the
floor. He looked down at the other trick, still prone on the floor.
While his attention was riveted on the two strangers, he missed
Brian walking into the kitchen and opening a drawer. Brian pulled
out a powder-coated, silver 9 mil. handgun. He walked back to where
Michael was staring down the two tricks. Brian pointed the glock at
the nearest one and told him in a deadly voice, "Get the fuck out."
The trick realized that his life was in his hands. He stood up
slowly and pulled his friend to his feet. They backed out of the
loft with their hands held high, their eyes never leaving Brian's,
as he held the gun steadily pointed at the two men.
Michael was shocked to the core. He never had seen Brian hold a gun,
much less know that his friend kept one in his loft. Strangely,
Michael also felt a stirring in his loins. The site of Brian holding
those men at bay with a gun was turning him on, fast.
The two tricks, once out the door, turned tail and ran down the
steps.
Brian lowered the handgun and took a deep breath. He turned to
Michael with a deadly look in his eyes.
"Don't ever, ever, come into my loft again and interrupt me while
I'm busy."
Michael's mouth fell open. "Fuck you Brian! I'll do whatever I damn
well please!"
Brian and Michael stood toe to toe, their faces close.
Michael knew why Brian was acting this way. He understood that when
his friend is cornered with facing the truth about himself, he acts
out in complete and total anger.
He also knew that this one time, he was not going to back down.
"Fuck you," Michael said again.
Brian's face flashed a glimpse of shock; he couldn't believe that
his Mikey was standing up for himself, to him.
"You have no right..." Brian started.
"I have every right, Brian. You are mine, always have been, always
fucking will be. I realized a few things tonight; one of them is
that you belong to me. The other is, we have a hell of a lot to
discuss, Brian Kinney."
Brian flinched as the meaning of Michael's words penetrated his
anger-fogged mind.
"Wha... what the fuck did you just say?" he whispered.
Michael grinned.
Vero:
"You heard me damn well, Kinney," said Michael.
Brian recovered from his shock, but he wasn't ready to give up, even
though his heart was still racing.
"So, where is the good professor? And since when do I belong to you?
Last I heard I was just Brian, who meant nothing to you," he argued.
Michael wondered what the fuck Brian was talking about.
"You don't even remember... you are so pathetic Michael!"
Michael was even more confused than ever.
"It's always about you. YOU realized, YOU want to discuss, YOU
decided to make an expedition into my loft to find whatever YOU
wanted to find, and YOU don't even know what I'm talking about."
This is harder than I thought! Brian wasn't falling into his arms
like he expected... Maybe he shouldn't have emphasized what he knew
right away.
Brian came closer to the box where the wedding bouquets were held.
"Seven bouquets, now you know... and you fucking didn't mind
entering my loft and doing what you wanted..."
"Well, maybe if you had been more honest with me instead of driving
me crazy, teasing me, rejecting me, all those years I..."
But Brian interrupted him again, "Here we go again. YOU, YOU, YOU!"
Michael closed his mouth... he was shocked because there was not as
much anger in that last sentence of Brian's. There was plenty of
pain though, and he could feel it.
"Seven bouquet, seven years... I'm stupid. In fact the pathetic one
is me."
"Brian."
"I'm tired, I need to sleep," he said as he threw to Michael the
older bouquet of the seven.
Michael caught the bouquet but protested, "Wait, we have to talk.
This is serious Brian."
"Well, come to me when you stop thinking about you... and start
thinking about us..."
Michael stood speechless this time, as Brian was about to close the
door of his room. "The answer is in the bouquet."
Michael, who was pragmatic, looked inside the bouquet but found
nothing, no message, no word written either. "There's nothing
inside, Brian," he stated.
"Hopefully it won't take you 18 years to find out..." Brian said
with a sigh and closed his door.
Tazzzkitty:
Michael stood there for a minute, looking at the closed bedroom. He
could see Brian's form behind the textured glass as he slipped off
his jeans and crawled into bed. Michael wanted nothing more than to
open up those doors and crawl into bed with Brian, but he knew he
couldn't do that.
He looked down at the bouquet in his hands and then sighed and
turned around and walked out of the loft. He walked slowly down the
stairs, feeling somehow as if he was walking towards his own death
and each step was harder to take than the last.
Finally, he sat down on a step, unwilling to move further away from
Brian before he had a chance to think things through a little more.
He stared down at the bouquet of white carnations that he held in
his hands. It was all dried out and crumbled if he held it the
wrong way. He spun the bouquet slowly between his fingers and
racked his brain, thinking what he could possibly learn from the
thing.
Seven years... for seven years, Brian had made a pledge to catch
that bouquet at the white party. Did that mean Brian had been ready
to be with him for that long? Could that really be possible? And
why seven years? What happened when they were 24 that had cause
some change in Brian?
Michael thought and thought, for how long he didn't know, but he
still couldn't think of anything. He looked at his watch and saw
that it was after midnight. He stood up, knowing that he should go
home. Ben was probably already either pissed or worried sick.
Probably both.
But Michael couldn't bring himself to walk down those stairs and
before he knew it he was walking up them instead of down. And less
than a minute later, he was walking back inside the loft and towards
the bedroom.
Michael walked up the few stairs to Brian's bedroom and opened the
doors. Brian was laying there on the bed, looking up at Michael.
Michael crossed to the bed and kneeled down on the floor next to
Brian's head, setting the bouquet on the nightstand. He looked into
Brian's expectant eyes for a few moments, not really knowing what to
say, where to start.
He took a deep breath and just let it all out. "I'm sorry I came
into your loft and looked through your things, Brian. And I'm sorry
I yelled at you and pushed those guys off of you. I should have
just come to you and asked you the truth instead of getting upset
and snooping around."
Michael stopped, waiting for Brian to say something, but he just
kept looking up at him, waiting for Michael to continue.
"It's just... I was in shock, I guess. I mean, to know that all
these years..." Michael trailed off and looked down at the duvet,
which he grabbed between his hands, giving him something to take out
his nervous tension on.
After an almost inappropriately long time, Michael suddenly looked
back up at Brian. "I love you so much, Brian!" he said, more loudly
than he had intended and he immediately felt himself begin to
blush. He looked down again.
Brian reached out and grabbed Michael's hand and Michael looked back
up at him. Brian pulled on Michael's hand, leading him to lean down
and Brian gave him a small kiss.
"I love you too, Mikey," Brian said, softly, and Michael smiled down
at Brian as he felt a warmth flood his body.
Michael pulled away and stood up, the smile growing on his face,
intending to join Brian in the bed. But just before he could kick
off his shoes, Brian spoke again.
"So did you figure out what the bouquet meant?"
Michael just stood there, flustered. "No."
"Well, come back when you figure it out," Brian said, with no hint
that he was joking.
"You can't be serious," Michael said, his voice cracking.
"I'm dead serious," Brian said and he rolled over onto his side,
away from Michael, pulling the duvet over him as if he meant to go
straight to sleep.
Pern333333:
Michael stood there staring down at Brian's prone form. His mind was
racing in several different directions. The silent loft carried the
sounds of the clock ticking and tocking, in the kitchen, to the
bedroom. Michael could hear his heart beat. He wasn't sure if Brian
was joking around with him or not, and he didn't want to chance it,
if he wasn't.
As he sat there on the soft bed, the sheen from the lights over the
headboard illuminated the contours of Brian's body, giving his lean
lithe shape an eerie cast.
What in the hell is Brian trying to get at with this god damn
bouquet? Why is it so damn important?
Brian laid there on the bed, trying to decide whether or not to give
up the game. It was important to him that Mikey figure out the
meaning behind the bouquets, especially the oldest one, but he was
afraid that Mikey might give up and take off. Brian had waited years
for Michael to come to the realization that Brian loved him. He
didn't want to have to wait even longer for his soul mate to figure
out the rest.
Fuck it, Brian thought to himself. If Mikey loves me as much as he
says he does, then he needs to understand it all.
He debated on turning over to his side, so that he could face Mikey.
Brian wanted to see the look in his eyes when the meaning became
clear.
Just as he was about to roll over Michael started to speak...
"I remember Bri," he said softly.
"You were on Thanksgiving break from school. Ma and Uncle Vic had
gone to the store to pick up the rest of the crap that she usually
forgets. Typical ritual." Michael swallowed down his
nervousness. "We were sitting up in my room, looking at comics. You
were bitching about having to be R.A."
Brian rolled over onto his side, facing Michael. His face showed no
clue as to whether Michael was correct in his theory, or not.
It had started to snow outside, I think it was pretty late at night
too, maybe 8 or 9pm. The lights started to flicker. I walked over to
where Ma kept her candles in the hallway closet. On my way back the
power went completely out. I jumped and yelled. I found my way back
into the room by listening to you laugh your ass off at me."
Brian slowly smiled at Mikey.
"I remember setting the candles down on the nightstand and one on my
old dresser. You took out your Zippo and lit each of them. The scent
of Apple Cinnamon wafted through the room. That was Ma's favorite
scent."
Michael looked deep into Brian's eyes, as he drew in another breath
before going on with his story.
"I walked over to the window and looked out and down into the
backyard. It looked like a white forest, with houses instead of
trees. The snow was falling even stronger than before and we both
wondered when Ma and Uncle Vic would be able to make it back."
Brian slowly sat up. He pulled the sheet over his legs and up to his
waist. Michael turned on the bed and faced him more directly.
"I wanted to open the window and taste a snowflake. You laughed at
me about that as well, but I did it anyways. There was a strong gust
of wind that blew cold air into the room. The blast snuffed out all
but one of the candles. You came up behind me and helped me shut the
window. The room had dropped several degrees in temperature and I
remember shaking because I was so cold."
Brian moved a little closer to Mikey, his eyes shinning brightly.
"You put your arms around me and held me in close. I stopped
shivering within seconds, but you didn't let go. The light from the
one remaining candle placed a spell on the room. You even mentioned
it yourself. I looked up into your eyes and smiled and I said
something retarded like 'Bri, I love you.' You leaned down and
kissed me, while you laughed softly. I was expecting you to say
something like 'Me too, Mikey' or some shit."
Michael reached out for Brian's hands that were laid in his lap. His
hands felt warm and soft. Brian clenched Michael's hand in his own
and brought it up to his mouth, placing a soft chaste kiss on the
top. Michael shivered at the touch of Brian's lips.
"But, you never said anything like you normally would, Bri. You
looked into my eyes and told me..."
Brian cut into Michael's story.
''You're eyes shine in the pale light of the snow, Mikey."
"And you looked at me and smiled, and asked if I thought the
backyard looked like a small forest of white glitter," Brian
whispered.
Michael nodded his head, and a ghost of a smile played on his lips.
"I told you "yes" and you leaned over to kiss me. But I stopped you
and said, 'Did you know that the word bouquet comes from the word
bosquet in olde French that means small forest?' You shook your
head at me. Then I said 'One day Mikey, I'll bring you home a
bouquet, drizzled with snow. You get your own personal small white
forest and I get to see your eyes sparkle.' You smiled and giggled."
Michael laughed softly along with Brian, while they replayed the
scene in their mind's eyes. Michael leaned into Brian, his forehead
lightly touching Brian's.
"And, then I said, 'When Bri?' and you smiled and said, 'Each and
every year, I'll have one ready and waiting, waiting for the right
time, right place.'"
Michael sighed and drew back away slightly from Brian's warmth.
"I thought that had to be the most romantic thing anyone had ever
said to me. It also weirded me out though..."
Brian wrinkled up his forehead.
"Why?"
"Because, it came from you Brian. Brian fucking Kinney, who doesn't
do love. Doesn't do romance. And yet here you were holding me and
saying some of the most sappiest words anyone could have ever heard."
Michael took the hand that Brian was holding, and imitating his
gesture, he brought Brian's hand up to his full, pouty lips and
ghosted a kiss over the top of the other man's knuckles.
"I thought my heart was gonna fucking burst. And you know what? I
remember for the first few years I always waited for you to give me
a little forest of white, but it never happened. I think I know why,
now."
Brian stood up and walked stark naked to the big set of picture
windows in the living room. The glow of the moon accented the lines
and planes of his slender frame. Michael followed him into the other
room. Brian stood there, in front of the window, and looked out
over the skyline of Pittsburgh. Michael stood silently behind him,
waiting for Brian to say something, say anything.
"Why Mikey?" Brian questioned softly.
Michael smiled and stepped up to the one person in his lifetime that
knew him... through and through.
"Because I wasn't ready. You were waiting for me to be ready."
He reached out and trailed a finger gently down along Brian's
shoulder blades, ending at the middle of his smooth back.
"Bri?"
Brian shivered with the sensations that Michael had caused with his
simple touch.
"Mikey?"
Brian turned around and reached out for Michael, pulling the raven-
haired beauty in and held him next to his heart.
Michael laid his head on Brian's muscled chest. He listened to his
heart beat for a few seconds before looking up into the eyes of a
man he had loved for over half a lifetime.
"I'm ready."
Fini~~~