Disclaimer: BLA, BLA, BLA! I don't own any thing to do with BTVS. If it was possible I would. I'd be very rich and could live in a mansion with my boyfriend and rent James Marsters as my bitch boy! What? I can dream!
Title: Tired Hearts
Buffy had her back against the door to her apartment. She had tried to get her key but Spike had pinned her to the door. He held her tightly and kissed her with that first time passion. She was loving every moment. Although she was scared deep inside. She knew Spike would have been experienced and would probably want to have sex. And she probably would give it all up for him, she thought. Problem was she didn't know if it was the right time.
"Spike…Spike." Buffy said trying to break the kiss.
"Umm luv?" Spike murmured. Kissing her neck. The feeling was great, and Buffy didn't want him to stop, but she had to find out his intentions.
"Spike… well I was wondering…umm… well." Buffy became nervous and couldn't speak. Her throat became dry and her mind went blank.
"What pet? Am I doing something wrong?" Spike became worried. He had let his want for her take over him. He hadn't been thinking. Now he was scared he had upset her.
"No! Not at all it's just I don't think I'm quite… umm…" Again her throat went amazingly dry causing her to cough delicately. She looked into his eyes.
"Don't worry luv I understand." He smiled shyly and she kissed him hard.
Spike took over the kiss and trailed it around her cheek and down to her neck; he kissed and sucked it gently causing Buffy to moan.
"Yummy." She stated again.
"Good." Spike muffled into her neck. He felt flattered at her compliment and finished the long kiss.
"Goodnight." He whispered in her ear.
"What do you mean goodnight?" Buffy said, hurt that he would just stop kissing her. "Aren't you gonna come in?" her eyes lowered as she looked up at him.
"I'd love to." She smiled and searched her bag for the key "But I can't handle it."
"Huh?" Buffy asked confused.
"Look Pet, it's obvious how I feel 'bout ya, if I came in I couldn't promise that I could control myself around you." He walked up to her and putting his finger under her chin, gently pulled it up so her eyes met his. "I respect you, a lot. I can't let my want for you cloud my vision. So goodnight pet." He lent in and kissed her softly on the lips.
"'K' Spike. Thanks." She smiled and pulled out her key and plunged it into the keyhole.
She opened the door looked behind her and Spike smiled. She closed the door and
lent against it. She sighed and ran into her bedroom excited. She sat on her bed and thought about the night. She began to tidy up the room, which was untidy from when she was getting ready earlier. She finished and went to the sitting room. Picking up her and Spike's wine glasses she took them to the kitchen. Picking up the wine bottle from the side she poured more into Spike's glass and silently toasted him. She felt lonely as she sat down in her bedroom. She sipped at the wine and felt her head rush. She wished Spike was with her. The thought of being on her own scared her for the first time since she got here. As she closed her eyes a memory flashed in front of her eyes. She opened them quickly breathing heavily.
"Why can't you leave me alone?" she asked the memory quietly. She felt tears sting her eyes and one trickle down her cheek until the saltiness exploded on her tongue.
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"You're not getting away that easy. I've worked hard for a year to get one thing from you. And I'm getting it!" The last four words were shouted his spittle landing on her face.
Buffy looked into his eyes and realised what he meant. The fear hit her like a fist in the gut. Angel squeezed her shoulder tightly causing her to crumple. As frightened as she was, she couldn't move. She was paralysed and the one man she thought she was destined to be with for the rest of her life, who had been continually cheating on her since the start of the relationship was going to rape her. He laughed and punched in the face causing Buffy to fall to the ground.
Angel's laugh was spinning around 110 MPH in her dizzy head. She lay on the ground watching his face smile like she had never seen before. Holding onto her now bruising shoulder he held her pinned to the floor. The gravestone her head was near was crumbling in the bottom corner. She felt Angel move up her special dress and rip away the matching blood red thongs she had chosen so carefully. He looked at her and smiled an evil smile.
"Where's the fight in you Buffy? Make's the fun disappear!"
Suddenly a power surged though her body. His words grated on her and made her shiver. She slowly reached above her head, while Angel preoccupied himself undoing the buckle of his belt. As he grunted, Buffy grabbed a lump of the crumbling tombstone. Angel stopped fiddling with his belt and looked at her legs.
"Hey Buffy. You know I don't wanna hurt ya." With that he put two large ruff fingers inside her. He pushed so hard she screamed.
"What don't you like it?" he asked her sarcastically. Her shoved them further up and Buffy hand gripped the stone in her hand. The sharp edges digging into her palm breaking the skin causing it to bleed, crimson rivers running down her arms. Without another thought she brought the stone onto his head with all the force she could. She heard a thud and Angel jumped up.
"You bitch!" he said now clutching his head. He picked her up from the floor by her neck until she was standing. He slapped her around the face causing her to tumble over the tombstone she had only just used. She lay on the ground staring into blackness. She shifted herself up and watched Angel clutching his bleeding head wound.
Silently she ran not looking behind her in case he was there. She ran thought the gates and though the streets.
Buffy's hair was hanging out of its style as if she had pulled it out of a bush. Her arms were bloody and bruised, her dress ripped in places. Her thongs were missing and her thighs were splashed with blood. Her bare feet were sore and pieces of glass and stones were digging in to her, making it harder to run. Nearing her house she ran in the front door slamming it behind her, she fell on the stairs and cried. She cried so hard that she thought she'd never stop. She heard footsteps coming from upstairs and then heard her mother's voice.
"Oh my god! Buffy." Joyce hugged her close to her. As her mother put her in the bath and washed her daughter Buffy told the frightening story. As she put her eldest to bed she kissed her forehead as she always had when she was younger.
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Buffy wiped away another stray tear. Although she hadn't realised it she had run herself a bath. As she slipped out of her dress and pinned her hair up she thought of Spike. Finally she came to a conclusion. Spike wasn't Angel. She washed herself smiling, and then she got out and dried herself. She redid her make up, but this time without any mascara, and put on her earlier outfit of jeans with sequins up the side, and the cream sweater. She picked up the wine bottle and her keys and let herself out of her apartment.
Spike looked at the clock. It was one am and he couldn't sleep. Buffy was filling his mind. She was so sweet and innocent. The way she hadn't just jumped into bed with him made him respect her more. The way she was honest about it made him need her more. He had a burning desire for her.
"God! I wish she was here!" he shouted into his bedroom pillow. Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. This frightened him a little; he slowly walked out of bed wearing only his tight boxer shorts. He opened the front door a little, recognising the face he swung it open revealing his bed attire.
"Can I come in?" Buffy's soft voice sounded like music to his ears
"Well of course you can pet, you alright?"
"Uh huh." She nodded her head and pulled the half full wine bottle. Spike took it from her and pointed with his head for her to go to the sitting room.
His whole apartment was dark. And Buffy liked it, dark blues and blacks on the walls. The only room that was light was the kitchen, and that was cream with black Chinese writing. It said peace on the curtains and little bits and bobs. Before getting the wine Spike ran to his bedroom and stuck on his tight jeans, which were on the floor, he walked to the kitchen and poured out two wine glasses with wine. He walked though to the sitting room and gave one to Buffy and sat next to her.
"Come on what's up?" he asked sympathetically. Buffy smiled she felt at ease around Spike.
"It's a long story." She said. She was surprised she said it at all.
"Got all night!" he laughed trying to make her feel comfortable. She sipped her wine and slowly told Spike all about Angel.
At the end of the tale, Spikes face was contorted with disbelieve. Not disbelieve in Buffy's story, but how someone could purposely hurt this tiny flower.
"Well if it helps, he sounds likes ponce!" Spike was trying to make the tension in the room disappear; Buffy put her head on his lap and smiled.
"Yeah, it helps." She shut her eyes feeling relieved it all was out in the open.
"Spike?" she asked sleepily
"Yep, pet?" he answered still shocked at how well she had handled it all. He saw now why she needed to come to England. He saw why she was shy, but the fact that she was still a virgin excited him. He would make it special for her, because he was determined to be with Buffy, for as long as she allowed him to be. He looked down on her, smiling.
"Can I stay here tonight?" yawning at the end of the question
"Course you can. Lets get you tucked in." he lifted her from the sofa and carried her to the bed. He chucked her a t-shirt and a pair of boxers.
"Here you go, these will be more comfy." He chuckled as he turned around. She pulled down her jeans and her thong. She sleepily pulled on the boxers and took off her sweater. Pulling the t-shirt over her bare breasts, she slipped into bed. Spike turned around and kissed her forehead.
"Where you going?" she asked.
"The sofa." He answered mocking her sleepy voice.
"No." She spoke like a selfish child, causing Spikes heart to pull. "Stay here. I wanna cuddle." She pouted at that point. Spike found it irresistible. He slid into bed in just his boxers and embraced her close to him. She found a place in his chest where she could listen to his heartbeat. She snuggled into his embrace and in minutes fell asleep. Spike soon followed.
A/N I feel all mushy now, if you like it or if you don't tell me by writing reviews! Lots of them! Please write them please. Loadsa love Mel xx xx xx