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Enjoy...
Possibly...
Maybe...
Oh for Pete's sake just read the damn thing will you!!!
The next day…………A great feast has been prepared in honour of Harry and 600 points have been awarded to Gryffindor.
Harry Ron and Hermione are sitting together.
HP: Today we have no classes thanks to the might of me!! Therefore this is the perfect chance to find the cause of those voices.
RW: Insanity?…
HP: (Not hearing Ron) Pardon?
RW: Nothing Harry.
HG: Firstly Harry, it's 5pm so we wouldn't have classes anyway, and secondly, only you can hear the voices so I don't see the point of Ron and I coming along.
HP: Shut up! We shall go for I am Harry Potter Lord of the Universe and I command you!!! Now let us go and investigate!
A few moments later
HP: I can't believe Hermione is such a traitor to mourn for me having punished the evil catSnape there was no doubt it took the hairbrush in a fiendish plan. I was right to have killed it.
RW: (pauses) Yes, Harry and you never thought it was just a little odd that he was never affected.
HP: Of course not he is an evil cunning fiendish thing...and an ugly greasy haired git I was perfectly right to have killed him.
RW: Even though he's not dead.
HP:(mutters) Amateurs...simply don't understand. Now back to investigating!!!!
RW: Ughhh....
In a random corridor, much later, a random corridor which looks oddly like the last 100 random corridors they've been down, mainly because it is in fact the same corridor.
(Hermione has not bothered to accompany Ron and Harry, she is still in mourning for the evil catSnape that was justly dispensed a very just justice by the lord Harry Potter. For justly dispensed a very just justice by the lord harry potter read unjustly pummelled to crap by a raving loon)
HP: I, Harry Potter, Lord of the Universe, command you to show yourself!
RW: Harry it's 2.30am I'm going to bed….
HP: No, wait!! I hear something!
RW: What?!
HP: Footsteps….from over there…they sound close….they're coming round the corner now…..
(Snape appears round the aforementioned corner)
HP: Damn!
Sn: So what's your excuse this time Potter?
HP: I need no excuse for I am HARRY POTTER, LORD OF….
(Ron hits Harry then fumbles for an excuse)
RW: We were just, er…
(Harry has an idea)
HP: Checking for assassins!
(I didn't say it was a good one)
Sn: Assassins?
HP: Yes, Ron thought someone might try to assassinate me, what with me being so famous and all, so we thought we would come and check no one was trying to assassinate me!
Sn: And you really think I'm going to believe that?
HP: Yep!
(Ron despairs in the background)
RW: Professor, Harry is unwell so I was just taking him to see Madame Pomfry, come on Harry…
Sn: Not so fast Weasley, Harry is permanently delusional (most prefer to call it brain damaged,) why choose to do something about it now? No you were both out of bed after hours, you shall both serve detention and 50 points will be taken from Gryffindor.
(McGonnagall has appeared in the corridor behind Snape)
Mg: What's all this Severus?
Sn: Professor! (To self) Every time… (To McGonnagall) These boys were out of bed so I was just taking appropriate action.
RW: But Professor McGonnagall, Harry is sick and I was taking him to the hospital wing.
Mg: Well it seems punishment is unnecessary Severus! Off you go Mr Weasley! Lucky I was here isn't it Severus!
(Snape storms off muttering)
Harry and Ron arrive at the hospital wing.
RW: Well we got out of that one pretty neatly didn't we Harry!
HP: No need to thank me Ron, I know you would have done the same for me. Assassins! Pure genius!!…..
(Ron doesn't even bother to argue)
RW: O.K. then genius boy, what do we do now?
HP: We continue searching for assassins.
RW: I shouldn't have asked….