When I woke up the next morning and found no flowers next to my mattress, I
immediately knew something was wrong.
Sitting up, I glanced over at Fishface and rolled my eyes again. She was sleeping, clutching that letter of hers and with a smile cemented to her face. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about waking her up, undoubtedly dreams of Jack would keep her in a blissful sleep for quite awhile more. Not bothering to do my hair, I put on my shoes and left, going downstairs and looking around the main room. I saw Kerry sitting in a corner by himself, with that strange look that worried me shadowing his face. Inwardly, I groaned to myself, knowing perfectly well what would have him still here in the middle of the morning instead of out selling.
He glanced up at me, then went back to staring at the floor with a sullen look in his eyes. The image of him sitting there looking so alone reminded me of an abandoned puppy I'd seen on the street once. But I was pretty sure that a piece of ham and a pat on the head wouldn't comfort him.
I approached him apprehensively, and once again it annoyed me that I had no idea what he was thinking. But then I wasn't so sure I wanted to know.
At length, he spoke slowly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "So... how was Spot last night?"
My mouth fell open in shock, that was the last thing I had expected from Kerry. "I... I wouldn't know," I stuttered. "I left."
Kerry's gaze came up to me, his eyes seemed numb and empty. "So then you were in his room..."
I didn't say anything, but it was exactly the answer he was looking for.
He continued quietly, "Buttons was right... there's somethin' that'll never happen again."
"Kerry," I began my desparate attempt to explain myself, hoping it would work. "Nothin' happened, I swear. Yeah, I was in his room, but it's not what Buttons said it was. Spot even asked me to stay, but I said no." Should I have mentioned that last part? When Kerry's head snapped up and his eyes started blazing furiously, I decided that it wasn't the smartest thing I'd ever done.
"He... invited you to stay?"
I stammered again. "Yeah, but he was kiddin', he wasn't seriously askin' me to stay."
He didn't say anything for a minute, and I saw a coldness in his eyes that sent a shiver up my spine. "Well, if it's really that tempting, I guess I'll just wait around till you're done with him."
I shook my head, "You know I wouldn't do that," I took a deep breath, "I... I love you."
There, I said it. It was the first time I'd ever told him I loved him, no matter how many times he'd said it to me.
Kerry looked back down and chuckled softly. "You know, you never said that to me before."
"Yeah, I know." I walked over to him, and he looked up at me. His eyes weren't cold anymore, he suddenly looked like the same Kerry I'd always known. "Well," I grinned, "ain't ya gonna say it back to me?"
He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down for a kiss. Then he sighed against my lips, "I love you."
Then who should enter but Mr. Oatmeal himself. Patrick walked in, stopped dead in the doorway, and burst out laughing. Kerry and I both turned to look at him and couldn't help but smile along.
"Why do I have a knack for walkin' in on you two?" It was then that I noticed a short redheaded girl standing behind him, smiling nervously, "Heya Shorts, this-this is Daisy." The infamous 'Daisy'.
She seemed to be a nice girl, and from what I could tell by looking from her, she was almost as oatmeal-wholesome as my brother was. She had a nice smile with deep dimples that cut into her freckled cheeks. She smiled broadly at me and walked over, holding out her hand, my fingers slowly pulled away from Kerry's as I moved over to shake her hand. She had a firm grip and almost shook my arm right off.
"Hi, like Mushee said, I'm Daisy," If I weren't polite, I would have winced at her calling Patrick 'Mushee', but I simply smiled at her and grabbed my hand away slowly, "It's good to meet you, I've heard so much about you."
I just smiled, and said, "Then I guess you know I'm Shortstack, and," I turned, indicating Kerry, "this is Kerry MacKilligan."
"Say, MacKilligan," Patrick said, his grin fading just a bit, "Why ain't ya sellin' the morning edition?"
Kerry's eyes hesitated, but then he smiled and said, "Was out late last night, slept too late to get to tha' distribution center on time."
Patrick grinned, "I know how that is." And that's all they said on the matter.
I pushed past Daisy, who was smiling genially, and embraced my brother in a hug. It was good to see him, especially after the events of the night before and that morning. Patrick let out a whole-hearted laugh, and pushing me back gently said, "You guys got anythin' to eat 'round here?" I smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the loaf of bread over on the table and ripping a piece off for him and one for Daisy.
I had to admit, Patrick seemed to be very fond of this Daisy girl, occasionally, I would catch him glancing over at her while she talked, his chocolate brown eyes filled with love. It made me smile, as I had seen the same look in Kerry's eyes many times. Patrick told me about the news in Manhattan, all the pranks he and Kid Blink had played on Racetrack and Snipeshooter that week. Really, the boy could tell a story and make it sound hysterical, even if in fact, it wasn't.
Once I had gotten my brother "alone" (Really, we were out on the docks while Kerry had gone to sell the afternoon edition and Daisy went to. use the facilities.), I decided to ask him about the piece of jewelry that hung about my neck.
"Patrick?" I asked him, he turned and looked at me as if to say, 'huh?', I slowly unbuttoned the first three buttons on my blouse and untied the necklace from around the back of my neck, "Where'd you get this?" I asked him quietly. His gaze was out on the river as he answered.
"It was our mother's," He said quietly, he hardly spoke of our parents. ever. I think it might have gotten him down, "Took it before we left, thought I'd give it to you once you got out of the convent, I doubt they woulda let you wear it there anyway."
I smiled, suddenly feeling that I'd had a touch of my mother draped around my neck for a few weeks without even knowing.
Patrick picked up the necklace underneath his fingers lightly, "Reminds me of her. You look a lot like her too, do you remember?"
I shook my head, and honestly, I didn't. I remembered blurs of my parents, watching my mother from the back apply makeup and bun her hair, but otherwise, the only family I could remember was Patrick. Sometimes I cursed myself for forgetting when Patrick obviously still remembered, but Patrick would always feel obliged to tell me about them when I would shake my head to that question.
"Well, our mom was a beautiful woman, she had long brown hair and bright blue eyes, just like yours, and she was a great cook, Dad was a big man with curly hair like mine and a short little beard. You used to love to rub your nose in it. We all lived in an apartment a little farther uptown, and every night dad'd come home for dinner and we'd eat as a family. We had this cat too." He smiled, "I wish you could remember."
"I wish I could too." I said quietly. He patted my back and leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"It's alright though, we're a family, you and me, Anabeth."
Just after he said that, Daisy rejoined us and he told me that he had to get back to talk with Blink and some of the other Manhattan boys, they were having a little bit of leadership trouble after Jack had left for Santa Fe. I entered the clubhouse morosely, feeling completely alone, Kerry was still out selling, I could go find him, but I had no idea where he sold, and Patrick and Daisy (who I had decided was a rather likable person, and perhaps even more wholesome than her significant other) had been gone for nearly a quarter of an hour, that is until he entered, him and that infernal cane of his.
I had been sitting on a crate in the clubhouse, moving my necklace around through my fingers and memorizing every detail of it. Examining it, I wished that somehow by holding it I could remember my mother, seeing all those memories Patrick had described to me over the years. Sometimes I felt it was a bit unfair that he had those to hold on to, when I had nothing of my childhood.
When I saw him come in, and heard the clunk of that cane against the floor, all I could do was roll my eyes unexplainably. That stupid thing was really getting on my nerves, and I would have loved to have taken a lit match to it when he wasn't looking.
Spot didn't say anything when he walked in, he just sat down on the crate next to me like it was the most natural thing in the world. For a moment, I didn't say anything either, but I decided I should.
"I made a decision about," I paused, and looked over at him, he was looking back at me, "us."
"And that would be?" He sounded calm, and I figured he had no idea about what Buttons had said about me and Kerry. Actually, I really had no idea what Buttons had said about me.
Gulping, my voice cracked a bit when I spoke. "I told him I love him."
He looked away and didn't respond for a moment. With my eyes cast down, I could see his hand twitching again. He really needed to kick his habit of smoking.
"Did ya mean it?"
Like so many times before, I was disgusted with him. "Of course I did, what kinda question is that?"
"Nothin, I was just askin'," he put his hands up, relenting, and then went back to not saying anything.
I raised my eyebrows at him, "You're not gonna fight with me?"
"No," he glanced at me and smirked. "Disappointed?"
"Maybe... but not a lot." Arguing with him did keep things interesting, now he was just boring sometimes. Come on, I thought, insult me! Just like we used to.
"Well, what I meant was, do you love him, like REALLY love him, or do you just love him as somethin' like a..." he rolled his eyes and exhaled deeply, "brother or a friend or anythin' like that?"
"I really love him," my mind began to wander and I felt my eyes grow distant, "he has the most amazing spirit I've ever known..." then I blushed and looked at the floor, I must have sounded like an idiot.
"What's it like?"
"What's what like?" I looked back up at him, he was studying me again.
"Loving somebody like that, and they love you back?" Oh, God. Did he ever think about ANYTHING but Fishface? But even his constant depression couldn't take away from my happiness.
Smiling, I asked him, "Have you ever read a fairy tale?"
"One 'a those 'once upon a time' stories?"
"Yeah."
"I heard of 'em. Those things where somebody always finds their prince or princess charming and everybody lives happily ever after." He grimaced, "Those damn things make me sick."
I wasn't able to resist laughing, the idea of someone hating a story with a happy ending was quite comical. "Come on, it's not that sickening."
"Yeah it is, life isn't really like that. Just once, somebody should find their prince charming and NOT get the happily ever after. Now THAT'S real life."
What was wrong with this boy? Not everything had to be harsh reality. "Maybe the happily ever after you WANT isn't the one you're supposed to get." I almost lost myself in thought again, I had a terrible way of doing that. "Or maybe some people don't deserve a happy ending... like that jackass Buttons..."
He chuckled a bit, and I smiled. "Yeah," he said, "Buttons is a jerk, ain't he?" I nodded, and neither of us said anything else for a minute.
"Well," he cleared his throat and looked at me hesitatingly. I liked when he did that. "Do ya love me?"
I searched for an answer, thinking for a second. "As what?"
Spot just shrugged at me, "As anythin'."
I thought for an instant. "No," I responded finally.
Raising his eyebrow, he sounded surprised. "No?"
"No." I just stared into his eyes, they looked completely empty. It reminded me of how Kerry's eyes had been so blank when I had first seen him that morning. At length, I broke into a small grin. "But I may like you just a lil' bit."
Sitting up, I glanced over at Fishface and rolled my eyes again. She was sleeping, clutching that letter of hers and with a smile cemented to her face. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about waking her up, undoubtedly dreams of Jack would keep her in a blissful sleep for quite awhile more. Not bothering to do my hair, I put on my shoes and left, going downstairs and looking around the main room. I saw Kerry sitting in a corner by himself, with that strange look that worried me shadowing his face. Inwardly, I groaned to myself, knowing perfectly well what would have him still here in the middle of the morning instead of out selling.
He glanced up at me, then went back to staring at the floor with a sullen look in his eyes. The image of him sitting there looking so alone reminded me of an abandoned puppy I'd seen on the street once. But I was pretty sure that a piece of ham and a pat on the head wouldn't comfort him.
I approached him apprehensively, and once again it annoyed me that I had no idea what he was thinking. But then I wasn't so sure I wanted to know.
At length, he spoke slowly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "So... how was Spot last night?"
My mouth fell open in shock, that was the last thing I had expected from Kerry. "I... I wouldn't know," I stuttered. "I left."
Kerry's gaze came up to me, his eyes seemed numb and empty. "So then you were in his room..."
I didn't say anything, but it was exactly the answer he was looking for.
He continued quietly, "Buttons was right... there's somethin' that'll never happen again."
"Kerry," I began my desparate attempt to explain myself, hoping it would work. "Nothin' happened, I swear. Yeah, I was in his room, but it's not what Buttons said it was. Spot even asked me to stay, but I said no." Should I have mentioned that last part? When Kerry's head snapped up and his eyes started blazing furiously, I decided that it wasn't the smartest thing I'd ever done.
"He... invited you to stay?"
I stammered again. "Yeah, but he was kiddin', he wasn't seriously askin' me to stay."
He didn't say anything for a minute, and I saw a coldness in his eyes that sent a shiver up my spine. "Well, if it's really that tempting, I guess I'll just wait around till you're done with him."
I shook my head, "You know I wouldn't do that," I took a deep breath, "I... I love you."
There, I said it. It was the first time I'd ever told him I loved him, no matter how many times he'd said it to me.
Kerry looked back down and chuckled softly. "You know, you never said that to me before."
"Yeah, I know." I walked over to him, and he looked up at me. His eyes weren't cold anymore, he suddenly looked like the same Kerry I'd always known. "Well," I grinned, "ain't ya gonna say it back to me?"
He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down for a kiss. Then he sighed against my lips, "I love you."
Then who should enter but Mr. Oatmeal himself. Patrick walked in, stopped dead in the doorway, and burst out laughing. Kerry and I both turned to look at him and couldn't help but smile along.
"Why do I have a knack for walkin' in on you two?" It was then that I noticed a short redheaded girl standing behind him, smiling nervously, "Heya Shorts, this-this is Daisy." The infamous 'Daisy'.
She seemed to be a nice girl, and from what I could tell by looking from her, she was almost as oatmeal-wholesome as my brother was. She had a nice smile with deep dimples that cut into her freckled cheeks. She smiled broadly at me and walked over, holding out her hand, my fingers slowly pulled away from Kerry's as I moved over to shake her hand. She had a firm grip and almost shook my arm right off.
"Hi, like Mushee said, I'm Daisy," If I weren't polite, I would have winced at her calling Patrick 'Mushee', but I simply smiled at her and grabbed my hand away slowly, "It's good to meet you, I've heard so much about you."
I just smiled, and said, "Then I guess you know I'm Shortstack, and," I turned, indicating Kerry, "this is Kerry MacKilligan."
"Say, MacKilligan," Patrick said, his grin fading just a bit, "Why ain't ya sellin' the morning edition?"
Kerry's eyes hesitated, but then he smiled and said, "Was out late last night, slept too late to get to tha' distribution center on time."
Patrick grinned, "I know how that is." And that's all they said on the matter.
I pushed past Daisy, who was smiling genially, and embraced my brother in a hug. It was good to see him, especially after the events of the night before and that morning. Patrick let out a whole-hearted laugh, and pushing me back gently said, "You guys got anythin' to eat 'round here?" I smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the loaf of bread over on the table and ripping a piece off for him and one for Daisy.
I had to admit, Patrick seemed to be very fond of this Daisy girl, occasionally, I would catch him glancing over at her while she talked, his chocolate brown eyes filled with love. It made me smile, as I had seen the same look in Kerry's eyes many times. Patrick told me about the news in Manhattan, all the pranks he and Kid Blink had played on Racetrack and Snipeshooter that week. Really, the boy could tell a story and make it sound hysterical, even if in fact, it wasn't.
Once I had gotten my brother "alone" (Really, we were out on the docks while Kerry had gone to sell the afternoon edition and Daisy went to. use the facilities.), I decided to ask him about the piece of jewelry that hung about my neck.
"Patrick?" I asked him, he turned and looked at me as if to say, 'huh?', I slowly unbuttoned the first three buttons on my blouse and untied the necklace from around the back of my neck, "Where'd you get this?" I asked him quietly. His gaze was out on the river as he answered.
"It was our mother's," He said quietly, he hardly spoke of our parents. ever. I think it might have gotten him down, "Took it before we left, thought I'd give it to you once you got out of the convent, I doubt they woulda let you wear it there anyway."
I smiled, suddenly feeling that I'd had a touch of my mother draped around my neck for a few weeks without even knowing.
Patrick picked up the necklace underneath his fingers lightly, "Reminds me of her. You look a lot like her too, do you remember?"
I shook my head, and honestly, I didn't. I remembered blurs of my parents, watching my mother from the back apply makeup and bun her hair, but otherwise, the only family I could remember was Patrick. Sometimes I cursed myself for forgetting when Patrick obviously still remembered, but Patrick would always feel obliged to tell me about them when I would shake my head to that question.
"Well, our mom was a beautiful woman, she had long brown hair and bright blue eyes, just like yours, and she was a great cook, Dad was a big man with curly hair like mine and a short little beard. You used to love to rub your nose in it. We all lived in an apartment a little farther uptown, and every night dad'd come home for dinner and we'd eat as a family. We had this cat too." He smiled, "I wish you could remember."
"I wish I could too." I said quietly. He patted my back and leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"It's alright though, we're a family, you and me, Anabeth."
Just after he said that, Daisy rejoined us and he told me that he had to get back to talk with Blink and some of the other Manhattan boys, they were having a little bit of leadership trouble after Jack had left for Santa Fe. I entered the clubhouse morosely, feeling completely alone, Kerry was still out selling, I could go find him, but I had no idea where he sold, and Patrick and Daisy (who I had decided was a rather likable person, and perhaps even more wholesome than her significant other) had been gone for nearly a quarter of an hour, that is until he entered, him and that infernal cane of his.
I had been sitting on a crate in the clubhouse, moving my necklace around through my fingers and memorizing every detail of it. Examining it, I wished that somehow by holding it I could remember my mother, seeing all those memories Patrick had described to me over the years. Sometimes I felt it was a bit unfair that he had those to hold on to, when I had nothing of my childhood.
When I saw him come in, and heard the clunk of that cane against the floor, all I could do was roll my eyes unexplainably. That stupid thing was really getting on my nerves, and I would have loved to have taken a lit match to it when he wasn't looking.
Spot didn't say anything when he walked in, he just sat down on the crate next to me like it was the most natural thing in the world. For a moment, I didn't say anything either, but I decided I should.
"I made a decision about," I paused, and looked over at him, he was looking back at me, "us."
"And that would be?" He sounded calm, and I figured he had no idea about what Buttons had said about me and Kerry. Actually, I really had no idea what Buttons had said about me.
Gulping, my voice cracked a bit when I spoke. "I told him I love him."
He looked away and didn't respond for a moment. With my eyes cast down, I could see his hand twitching again. He really needed to kick his habit of smoking.
"Did ya mean it?"
Like so many times before, I was disgusted with him. "Of course I did, what kinda question is that?"
"Nothin, I was just askin'," he put his hands up, relenting, and then went back to not saying anything.
I raised my eyebrows at him, "You're not gonna fight with me?"
"No," he glanced at me and smirked. "Disappointed?"
"Maybe... but not a lot." Arguing with him did keep things interesting, now he was just boring sometimes. Come on, I thought, insult me! Just like we used to.
"Well, what I meant was, do you love him, like REALLY love him, or do you just love him as somethin' like a..." he rolled his eyes and exhaled deeply, "brother or a friend or anythin' like that?"
"I really love him," my mind began to wander and I felt my eyes grow distant, "he has the most amazing spirit I've ever known..." then I blushed and looked at the floor, I must have sounded like an idiot.
"What's it like?"
"What's what like?" I looked back up at him, he was studying me again.
"Loving somebody like that, and they love you back?" Oh, God. Did he ever think about ANYTHING but Fishface? But even his constant depression couldn't take away from my happiness.
Smiling, I asked him, "Have you ever read a fairy tale?"
"One 'a those 'once upon a time' stories?"
"Yeah."
"I heard of 'em. Those things where somebody always finds their prince or princess charming and everybody lives happily ever after." He grimaced, "Those damn things make me sick."
I wasn't able to resist laughing, the idea of someone hating a story with a happy ending was quite comical. "Come on, it's not that sickening."
"Yeah it is, life isn't really like that. Just once, somebody should find their prince charming and NOT get the happily ever after. Now THAT'S real life."
What was wrong with this boy? Not everything had to be harsh reality. "Maybe the happily ever after you WANT isn't the one you're supposed to get." I almost lost myself in thought again, I had a terrible way of doing that. "Or maybe some people don't deserve a happy ending... like that jackass Buttons..."
He chuckled a bit, and I smiled. "Yeah," he said, "Buttons is a jerk, ain't he?" I nodded, and neither of us said anything else for a minute.
"Well," he cleared his throat and looked at me hesitatingly. I liked when he did that. "Do ya love me?"
I searched for an answer, thinking for a second. "As what?"
Spot just shrugged at me, "As anythin'."
I thought for an instant. "No," I responded finally.
Raising his eyebrow, he sounded surprised. "No?"
"No." I just stared into his eyes, they looked completely empty. It reminded me of how Kerry's eyes had been so blank when I had first seen him that morning. At length, I broke into a small grin. "But I may like you just a lil' bit."