Note My first Harry Potter fic. This is hopefully a Lily and James work, but it might change over the um...chappers. Thanks a bunch. Now enjoy

Hawaiian Filet

Lily left the Hogwarts Express in a fit of giggles. The things James and Sirius came up with were hilarious, but, they left out a sense of art. Most of their tricks for Malfoy were common hexes and spells, as she found out from reading First Edition Spells and How to Dark Arts. Maybe she could help them.

Lily leaped form the ladder to the ground, and searched for the the duo, but never found them. Instead she was met by a monster!...er, not really a monster, but that was what she first thought of him. His hair was long and curly, falling around his shoulders in a half afro, and his beard was the same, but going much deeper, and much well kept. His height was alarming. Lily could see him if he was standing at the end of a football field, a game more commonly known as soccer. His voice was really loud.

"First years. First years over 'ere by the lake. First years cum over 'ere."

Lily was swept up by the amount of students going to him.

The lake was a mass of darkness, as forboding as the man who called them there. On the other side, as if on the tip of a mountain, stood a castle. Lily guessed it was Hogwarts.

The boats led them across the lake. Here and there great limbs tried to grab the boat, but drew back as if pulled away, before they could touch. A boy next to Lily was trying to talk to her, but she was much to busy looking at the castle.

"I've read Hogwarts, A History about five times. I know all there is to know about the school. The mess hall is spelled to look like the sky, which will be covered with lightning filled skies tonight. My weatherball told me it would be raining. Do you have one? Me dad says everyone should have a weatherball. Said it saved his life when he was trying to navigate the great divide, then again, me dad was always a nutter..."

The boats entered a cave, and landed in separate docks. Lily jumped off, and started to walk up the great steps ahead of her. She felt like running like the others up them, but her conscience told her not to. She was too old for such childish fantasy's.

Inside, she found the mess hall to be just like the boy who sat next to her on the boat said. It was covered in purple clouds, which spouted out lightning here and there. Boys and girls around her age crowded the center of the great room. In front of them was Professor McGonagoll. She was holding a hat in front of her. As she set it down on a small stool to her side, it came to life. A crease spread near its brim, and a song spilled out of its lips:

Oi, when I was made all young and shrewd
Four Wizards came along
Though very bright with wits a many
I'm sad to say their gone
Noble Griffindor
My idol, you could presume
His heart so big and flattering
Hufflepuff had to clear it with a broom
Now Hufflepuff
A git, you could say
Followed here and there
As loyal as to a king, to Ravenclaw's dismay
As smart as smart could be
Ravenclaws the best
But I must always say
Slytherin's the nastiest yet
Pop the old and brew the new
Slytherin was always afire
He had no conscience, no heart of gold
Torture was his desire
Now why I sing you might ask
For joy or knowledge too
I do it so we can find
The perfect house for you

The hall burst into clapping, all except for a table near the corner. Above them flew a green snake, slithering across their heads. Lily guessed they were Slytherin.

"When I call your name, will you please come up to the stool, and put the Sorting hat on. Malfoy, Lucious."

Malfoy walked up to the hat, a big smile on his face. But before he could take two steps, the Sorting Hat bellowed, "SLYTHERIN" Everyone stared at Malfoy, everyone except the Slytherin table, who at the sound of their house, erupted in applause. Lily looked around, and found James and Sirius staring at Malfoy too, but not with shock, as the others had on their faces. They're was in concentration.

As soon as Malfoy reached his table, his clothes vanished, replaced by two snake headed coconut shells over his chest, and a grass skirt. Not only was Malfoy affected, but so was the whole Slytherin table. Every Slytherin sitting at the table jumped on top of their table and started dancing as fast as they couls, swishing their grass skirts. The Great Hall erupted in laughter at the site of the Slytherins; all except James Potter and Sirius black, who where still concentrating. Lily wasn't the only one to notice, for Professor McGonagoll had called out their names. James stopped to look up, and the Slytherins stopped dancing, and returned to normal.

"Mr. Potter. Mr. Black. I am ashamed at the behavior you are showing. Say something, both of you."

"Aww, mum. Didn't you at least get a laugh." Sirius said pleadingly. James quickly added:

"You have to admit, watching Malfoy hula was funny." Both boys turned to eachother and clapped hands in the air.

"And you can't forget the sight of Manibell Partelou," Sirius said softly. Someone in the Ravenclaw table whistled.

"Right on, old chap," James put in. "Those hips were mystifying. Again they clapped hands, but where pinched in their ears before they could continue.

"You had better hope I don't get either of you in my house, or you will constantly have a headache." Called Professor McGonagoll as she carried them away. She came back and called off the list again: "Potter, James. Oh! Not again." James rushed back into the Great Hall.

"Yes mum."

"Its your turn."

"Why just Chappy of you," James said as he put on the hat. Once again, the hat started to sing:

I don't know why you cried
The sight of you was just to much
Poor Malfoy has grown too many pimples
I'm sure his mother's afraid to touch

All heads turned to Malfoy, who indeed was growing pimples all over his face.

But do not worry,
your not the only one
That greasy dog you carry around
Is sure to have some fun

A tall, greasy, black haired boy next Lily morphed into a dog, before levitating in the air, followed by Malfoy. The dog, which turned out to be a black poodle, danced in the air as Malfoy started to do an Irish jig. Once again, Lily was deafened by laughter.

I know you will be hating me,
But my influence has gone awry
I know you dispise this boy
But please don't break down and cry

Professor, as mean as you can get
Please stomp on a mouse
For Mr. Potter here
Is actually in your House

The Sorting hat ended in a loud bark of "GRYFFINDOR!" The table next to Lily applauded as Professor McGonagoll turned violet with anger. A boy across from Lily smiled in triumph. He wasn't exactly good looking, but his short brown hair attracted Lily, and plenty of other girls. James winked at him as he took a seat at the table. The boys smile faded as his name was called, "Lupin, Remus" He took his seat on the stool, and was immediately put in Gryffindor. When he left the stool, his body started shaking before being transformed into a four foot tall mouse who chased after Professor McGonagoll. Everyone laughed again, but a short puddgy boy who held his wand out, pointing it at Remus. Exhausted, he stopped concentrating, and put it away. Once again, Remus was himself, a gangly, handsome boy who walked with pride to the Gryffindor table.

"Evans, Lily."

Lily gulped as she walked up to the stool. She lifted the hat, and stared at the mass of students in front of her. She noticed a lot of students stared a her too; a lot of boys. One was James, who looked to be concentrating again. 'Oh no you don't' Lily said as the Sorting Hat shouted enthusiastically, "GRYFFINDOR." James blinked, and Lily saw a swarm of bees coming at her. Lily didn't hesitate, she did exactly what she did Ollivanders. A loud BANG in the Hall, followed by a small blue fog that surrounded James Potter. Pink and Yellow roses fell on him at great speeds. James held up his hand to black the roses, but couldn't block the bees that came rushing at him.

Lily took a seat across from him with a big smile on her face. It broadened as she saw the pout on his. Once again that night, and not for the last, she laughed.