DISCLAIMER : I do not own the characters from J. K. Rowling's book, Harry
Potter, however, the plot is entirely MINE..
(A/N: now things get really funny from this chapter on. well, I hope you do laugh at it. and I don't mind if you take some ideas from here, but not all^^)
Chapter 3 : Bird droplet... or Rather, dung.
Hermione quickly read the letter over. It was just filled with all the immature things that Ron and Harry had done like exploding the toilet and upsetting Mrs. Weasley. Of course Harry felt bad about it, but Ron was giddy about the whole thing. In fact, it seemed as if he was still laughing uncontrollably while writing to Hermione, because Ron's letter looked all lopsided and there there tear stains on the letter where Ron had cried on while laughing too hard. Hermione scowled, and wrote a letter back complaining about Malfoy. The letter read:
I Harry & Ron, I'm not in the mood of talking about blowing up poor Ron's mother's toilet I am simply here to complain about Malfoy. Yes, he is at my house because, according to him, he got himself in trouble and was sent here to cause Havoc! Please help me!!!!
-Hemione- /I
Then Hermione grabbed her letter (which was written hastily AND not to mention angrily) and folded it slopily from the rising anger as Malfoy was shouting at her to come. Then. Hermione tied the letter on Hedwig's leg and shooed her away, then got up and stormed out of her room to see Malfoy lounging lazily on her. PARENTS' BEDROOM. Immediately her heat began to rush into her face, and all she could do was glare at Malfoy for going into places he wasn't allowed in. Hermione started to hyperventilate, her mind spinning crazily from anger. Then, she took one step forward, with Malfoy smirking at her. Each time Hermione got angrier, Malfoy's smirk widened, and soon Hermione felt herself shaking from anger.
"Get out of my Parents' room." Hermione said in a low dangerous voice.
"No."
"GET OUT OR ELSE YOU'LL GET IT!!" Hermione exploded.
"Seeing a mud blood is a lot more entertaining than I thought it was."
Without warning, Hermione grabbed the quill she was still holding and threw it at him with all her might. Of course, the quill was too light and fluttered down onto the floor. Malfoy just laughed, and Hermione rolled her eyeballs up to the ceiling, and counted to ten. "Get out." Malfoy finally got off her Parent's bed and flounced out past her snickering. IObviously, he's enjoying my explosion. DAMN! I should have known!/I Hermione thought angrilly to herself. Then she stalked out of her parent's room slamming the door behind her. Malfoy's eyes glittered with malice, and Hermione was making her way slowly down the stairs. Malfoy considered of making her angrier, which would have filled him with the greatest pleasure. Hermione, on the other hand, was formulating a little plan. She was going to let Malfoy ruin her Summer, and of course she'll play along with it. Then, she would go and tell Harry and Ron all the little details and then they would get Malfoy back at school and ruin his WHOLE ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR. Hermione chuckled inside, and then, shot Malfoy the most angriest glare she could ever put on.
Malfoy, in turn gave her his scariest death-glare that he could possibly give. Apparently, Hermione seemed undaunted by Malfoy's death glare, so Malfoy sealed his lips tightly and just glared at Hermione who glared so hard she swore that she saw stars swirling around in her vision. Hermione couldn't stand any minute of being next to the ever-so-ugly Malfoy. Iof course,/I Hermione thought, Ihe's ugly only to me, but to Lavender and Parvati, and PANSY, he's so "hot". wait! Lavender likes Ron!/I The thought of someone liking Ron made Hermione unvolunteerily giggle to herself, without knowing that she let the giggle out. Malfoy narrowed his eyes at her and asked:
"What's so funny, you ugly mud blood?"
"Nothing, it's just that you're so ugly that it's almost funny."
"I'm NOT ugly. I am HANDSOME. get it? HAND-SOME!"
"For Merlin's sake Malfoy, you don't have to go all physcho about you LOOKS. because you ARE ugly. no offense."
"Look at yourself, mud blood!"
"I don't care about how I look like." Hermione said, mimicking Malfoy's bored drawl.
"Don't immitate me, you unworthy, FILTHY mud blood!" Malfoy snarled.
"Make me. I highly doubt that you can do anything."
"Shut it Granger!"
"Make me."
"I mean it! If you don't you know the consequences!"
"Really? Like what? Beating me up with your two idiotic cronies?"
Malfoy was ready to kill when, there was a crash upstairs. Hermione jumped out of her skin and hurried up the stairs when she heard Ron's hyperactive owl, Pig or rather, Pigwigeon (A/N: sorry if I spelled Ron's owl's full name wrong), going mad in Hermione's room. With that Hermione scurried off to her room to calm Pig down leaving Malfoy deserted in the kitchen.
When Hermione was halfway up the stairs, she saw Pig soar out of her room zooming down the stairs, and flying in mad circles around her head making her dizzy. With that Pig flew down to the kitchen hooting loudly and happily. Then, he landed on top of Malfoy's head, and hooted loudly. Malfoy, who was irritated, grabbed Pig in his fist and scowled. Of course he hadn't noticed something on his head that Hermione noticed, which made her collapse on the landing at the bottom of the stairs laughing so hard she started to cry. Startled, Malfoy released Pig, and narrowed his eyes at her. Nobody laughed at him, especially since he was a Malfoy, who had a HUGE role and impact in the wizarding world.
"Shut it, Granger, there's nothing funny!" Malfoy snapped.
"o-o-oh, re-reh- hahahahahaha -really? H-h-h-ow, 'bout hahaha, tha-that b-b- bird." Hermione never finshed because after that she collaped into a fit of laughter, while Malfoy scowled, not knowing that Pig had left an considerable amount of owl dung on his head. Finally, Hermione regained herself, and managed to finsh off her sentence.
"Bird. *gasp* bird. d-d-d-d-dung on. on. on."
"WHAT? BIRD DUNG ON MY HEAD????" Malfoy had reached his boiling point and exploded.
"Yeah! Hahahahaha! That was g-g-g-g-great Pig!" Hermione managed to choke out between her laughter.
"It's not funny Granger!" Malfoy shouted.
"Yes.. Oh my.. Y-y-y-yes, it. is."
"That stupid bird is DEAD! Did you hear? DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!" Malfoy screamed like Mugatzu from Zoolander (the part where Derek was in the fashion show, where Mugatzu trys to kill the Malaysian Prime Minister.. Oops, I guess I'm digressing)
Suddenly, Hermione turned dead serious and said in a very scary voice, "Don't you even think about it."
"Really? NOBODY messes up MY appearance!"
"Don't you dare KILL Pig. I swear over my Grandmother's grave that I'll kill you if you kill Pig."
"Oh really? Like what are you going to do?"
"Exactly what I told you, kill you." Hermione said icily.
"Really?"
"Yes, after that stupid 'professor' Umbridge, I'm afraid I've turned a bit violent."
Malfoy scowled and ignored Hermione and started to jump up and down in the air to catch Pig who zoomed breezily around Hermione's home. Hermione glared at Malfoy, and managed to grab Pig and take the letter off of his leg, and glared at Malfoy and haughtily went up to her room to read Ron's letter with Pig in her fist. As soon as Hermione was up in her room, she shut her door, and made sure that the window was shut, then released Pig who, obviously, went crazy again dashing around Hermione's room hooting so loudly, Hermione started to scowl herself.
I Hermione! Sounds like a great plan! I hope you don't stress out from the summers
-Ron&Harry- /I
Hermione hastily wrote back a reply, chased Pig around her room, tied the letter to his leg (when she caught him) and let him out the window. Hermione then sat down at her desk and fell into a very deep, dreamless sleep.
(A/N: now things get really funny from this chapter on. well, I hope you do laugh at it. and I don't mind if you take some ideas from here, but not all^^)
Chapter 3 : Bird droplet... or Rather, dung.
Hermione quickly read the letter over. It was just filled with all the immature things that Ron and Harry had done like exploding the toilet and upsetting Mrs. Weasley. Of course Harry felt bad about it, but Ron was giddy about the whole thing. In fact, it seemed as if he was still laughing uncontrollably while writing to Hermione, because Ron's letter looked all lopsided and there there tear stains on the letter where Ron had cried on while laughing too hard. Hermione scowled, and wrote a letter back complaining about Malfoy. The letter read:
I Harry & Ron, I'm not in the mood of talking about blowing up poor Ron's mother's toilet I am simply here to complain about Malfoy. Yes, he is at my house because, according to him, he got himself in trouble and was sent here to cause Havoc! Please help me!!!!
-Hemione- /I
Then Hermione grabbed her letter (which was written hastily AND not to mention angrily) and folded it slopily from the rising anger as Malfoy was shouting at her to come. Then. Hermione tied the letter on Hedwig's leg and shooed her away, then got up and stormed out of her room to see Malfoy lounging lazily on her. PARENTS' BEDROOM. Immediately her heat began to rush into her face, and all she could do was glare at Malfoy for going into places he wasn't allowed in. Hermione started to hyperventilate, her mind spinning crazily from anger. Then, she took one step forward, with Malfoy smirking at her. Each time Hermione got angrier, Malfoy's smirk widened, and soon Hermione felt herself shaking from anger.
"Get out of my Parents' room." Hermione said in a low dangerous voice.
"No."
"GET OUT OR ELSE YOU'LL GET IT!!" Hermione exploded.
"Seeing a mud blood is a lot more entertaining than I thought it was."
Without warning, Hermione grabbed the quill she was still holding and threw it at him with all her might. Of course, the quill was too light and fluttered down onto the floor. Malfoy just laughed, and Hermione rolled her eyeballs up to the ceiling, and counted to ten. "Get out." Malfoy finally got off her Parent's bed and flounced out past her snickering. IObviously, he's enjoying my explosion. DAMN! I should have known!/I Hermione thought angrilly to herself. Then she stalked out of her parent's room slamming the door behind her. Malfoy's eyes glittered with malice, and Hermione was making her way slowly down the stairs. Malfoy considered of making her angrier, which would have filled him with the greatest pleasure. Hermione, on the other hand, was formulating a little plan. She was going to let Malfoy ruin her Summer, and of course she'll play along with it. Then, she would go and tell Harry and Ron all the little details and then they would get Malfoy back at school and ruin his WHOLE ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR. Hermione chuckled inside, and then, shot Malfoy the most angriest glare she could ever put on.
Malfoy, in turn gave her his scariest death-glare that he could possibly give. Apparently, Hermione seemed undaunted by Malfoy's death glare, so Malfoy sealed his lips tightly and just glared at Hermione who glared so hard she swore that she saw stars swirling around in her vision. Hermione couldn't stand any minute of being next to the ever-so-ugly Malfoy. Iof course,/I Hermione thought, Ihe's ugly only to me, but to Lavender and Parvati, and PANSY, he's so "hot". wait! Lavender likes Ron!/I The thought of someone liking Ron made Hermione unvolunteerily giggle to herself, without knowing that she let the giggle out. Malfoy narrowed his eyes at her and asked:
"What's so funny, you ugly mud blood?"
"Nothing, it's just that you're so ugly that it's almost funny."
"I'm NOT ugly. I am HANDSOME. get it? HAND-SOME!"
"For Merlin's sake Malfoy, you don't have to go all physcho about you LOOKS. because you ARE ugly. no offense."
"Look at yourself, mud blood!"
"I don't care about how I look like." Hermione said, mimicking Malfoy's bored drawl.
"Don't immitate me, you unworthy, FILTHY mud blood!" Malfoy snarled.
"Make me. I highly doubt that you can do anything."
"Shut it Granger!"
"Make me."
"I mean it! If you don't you know the consequences!"
"Really? Like what? Beating me up with your two idiotic cronies?"
Malfoy was ready to kill when, there was a crash upstairs. Hermione jumped out of her skin and hurried up the stairs when she heard Ron's hyperactive owl, Pig or rather, Pigwigeon (A/N: sorry if I spelled Ron's owl's full name wrong), going mad in Hermione's room. With that Hermione scurried off to her room to calm Pig down leaving Malfoy deserted in the kitchen.
When Hermione was halfway up the stairs, she saw Pig soar out of her room zooming down the stairs, and flying in mad circles around her head making her dizzy. With that Pig flew down to the kitchen hooting loudly and happily. Then, he landed on top of Malfoy's head, and hooted loudly. Malfoy, who was irritated, grabbed Pig in his fist and scowled. Of course he hadn't noticed something on his head that Hermione noticed, which made her collapse on the landing at the bottom of the stairs laughing so hard she started to cry. Startled, Malfoy released Pig, and narrowed his eyes at her. Nobody laughed at him, especially since he was a Malfoy, who had a HUGE role and impact in the wizarding world.
"Shut it, Granger, there's nothing funny!" Malfoy snapped.
"o-o-oh, re-reh- hahahahahaha -really? H-h-h-ow, 'bout hahaha, tha-that b-b- bird." Hermione never finshed because after that she collaped into a fit of laughter, while Malfoy scowled, not knowing that Pig had left an considerable amount of owl dung on his head. Finally, Hermione regained herself, and managed to finsh off her sentence.
"Bird. *gasp* bird. d-d-d-d-dung on. on. on."
"WHAT? BIRD DUNG ON MY HEAD????" Malfoy had reached his boiling point and exploded.
"Yeah! Hahahahaha! That was g-g-g-g-great Pig!" Hermione managed to choke out between her laughter.
"It's not funny Granger!" Malfoy shouted.
"Yes.. Oh my.. Y-y-y-yes, it. is."
"That stupid bird is DEAD! Did you hear? DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!" Malfoy screamed like Mugatzu from Zoolander (the part where Derek was in the fashion show, where Mugatzu trys to kill the Malaysian Prime Minister.. Oops, I guess I'm digressing)
Suddenly, Hermione turned dead serious and said in a very scary voice, "Don't you even think about it."
"Really? NOBODY messes up MY appearance!"
"Don't you dare KILL Pig. I swear over my Grandmother's grave that I'll kill you if you kill Pig."
"Oh really? Like what are you going to do?"
"Exactly what I told you, kill you." Hermione said icily.
"Really?"
"Yes, after that stupid 'professor' Umbridge, I'm afraid I've turned a bit violent."
Malfoy scowled and ignored Hermione and started to jump up and down in the air to catch Pig who zoomed breezily around Hermione's home. Hermione glared at Malfoy, and managed to grab Pig and take the letter off of his leg, and glared at Malfoy and haughtily went up to her room to read Ron's letter with Pig in her fist. As soon as Hermione was up in her room, she shut her door, and made sure that the window was shut, then released Pig who, obviously, went crazy again dashing around Hermione's room hooting so loudly, Hermione started to scowl herself.
I Hermione! Sounds like a great plan! I hope you don't stress out from the summers
-Ron&Harry- /I
Hermione hastily wrote back a reply, chased Pig around her room, tied the letter to his leg (when she caught him) and let him out the window. Hermione then sat down at her desk and fell into a very deep, dreamless sleep.