Bringing Up Bonjo
by Linda Seaton
Chloe ducks around Lex as he shuts the door and leads the cat into the entry hall of the house. He kneels and loosens the belt.
"Maybe you shouldn't do that, Lex?" Chloe asks as she grabs an urn from a side table near the door.
Lex tugs the belt free. The leopard gives him a questioning look before padding off deeper into the house.
Chloe exhales and puts the urn down. Unsure of what to do she wait at the door.
Lex merely stares at her for a few long, uncomfortable moments. He finally asks, "Would you like to have sex now or later?"
A hundred different responses rattle through Chloe's brain but all she can manage is a squeaky, "Later."
Lex nods and ambles off down a hallway.
Chloe reaches back for the door handle just a man screams from one of the downstairs' rooms. With his suit in tatters, the butler slides through the entry room, shoves past the girl and races out of the house.
Chloe looks longingly toward the freedom of the open door but realizes she cannot leave Lex. In his current frame of mind he is perfect leopard food. He'd be psychoanalyzing the leopard's motivation for eating his leg while the leopard was eating his leg.
"Lex?!" Chloe calls and wobbles off in the direction Lex had traveled. Her head throbbing, she struggles to put one foot in front of the other. "Lex!"
She steps through a doorway and finds the man racking balls for a game of pool. She looks for a door to close but all the entrances to the room are open archways. "This place is a castle – a fortress – aren't there any doors to lock?"
Confused, Lex scans the room. He suddenly grins and begins to unbutton his shirt. "Oh."
"No, not that. And I thought you were trying to win my trust?"
"If you have sex with me that means you trust me."
Chloe shakes her head and she can hear the blood pounding. "I see many more marriages in your future."
Lex lines up for the break on the pool table. "Oh, that rule doesn't apply to everyone. I figure my brain put my anima in a good girl suit for a reason."
"I don't even know how to respond to that one." Chloe runs her hand through her hair and comes back with droplets of blood. "But maybe I'd be doing better right now if I had worn a seatbelt."
The leopard roars from what sounds like somewhere upstairs. Lex jumps a little and misses his shot.
"Lex, we should go outside. Get out of the house."
He offers her the pool cue. "Your shot."
Chloe takes the potential weapon and leans against the pool table. She focuses on every word as she speaks, "Lex, I'm real. The real Chloe. That cat is real. Your father set up his own menagerie on the estate and I ended up with a leopard in my car. Do you understand?"
He blinks at her. "You're solids."
Chloe turns to the pool table. "Lex, is there any reason you can think of why your father would keep wild cats on the estate?"
"Of course. His hair."
"Hair?"
"Secretions from wild cats' anal glands are responsible for the glossy sheen of my father's mane. Are you going to take your shot?"
Chloe takes a wild shot and the pool balls scatter. She turns and Lex is practically on top of her. He leans in and kisses her on the lips. Her eyes start to close but then she realizes this is the worst kiss she has ever suffered through in her life. Given, she can count the number of people who have kissed her on one hand and there might be worse kissers out there but she at this moment she doubts it.
She starts to push him away and then over his shoulder spots the leopard in the doorway. She carefully pulls back. "Lex, the leopard is here. The leopard is real. Look."
He glances back at the leopard as it slinks into the room and disappears into the shadow of the room. "It's real?" Unsure, he turns and tries to find the cat.
The scraping sound of talons on stone seems to come from every corner of the room. There is a flash of fur as the leopard launches itself over a sofa.
Chloe grabs a pool ball from the table and throws it with a wobbly arm. The projectile connects with the cat's chest knocking it off balance. The cat roars and drops low to the ground. Chloe throws again and misses.
Lex grabs the eight ball from the table and hurls it at the cat. The ball cracks against the leopard's head. The cat keels over in a panting heap.
The battered Chloe actually looks impressed. "To bad there's no career path in what you just did. You're really good at throwing pool balls."
Happy with the praise, Lex smiles but he seems a little unsure of what is actually going on with both the cat and the girl. He straightens and reaches for Chloe. "Where were we?"
"Please, let's not. It was a little too actorly for me." She motions toward the cat. "Can we call the police? Or at least animal control?"
"Actorly? That's not even a word." He pauses and looks down at Chloe. "No one's ever complained before."
"You're very rich and slightly famous." Chloe frowns. The word 'slightly' sounded slurred to her own ears. "Can we call someone? Please?"
"Actorly?"
"Mannered? That's an actual word, right?"
"Mannered?"
"Workmanlike? Affected? I'm running out of adjectives."
He smirks at her. "And what do you know?"
"That I have a concussion and I'd like to call the police."
He turns in a half-circle then strides over to her. Hesitating as the momentum dies away, he lifts her chin and kisses her again.
She lifts a hand to push him away but it merely comes to rest on his chest. The kiss is very different this time. The attempt to prove kissing proficiency disappears into something exploratory and a little awkward. She wants to laugh because its the only way to make sense of how ridiculously happy she feels. She suddenly realizes that he is the one laughing.
Chloe can hear the sound of his heart or maybe her heart or, hell, maybe the cat's heart beating in her ears. She feels his thumb skimming along the line of her pulse down her throat and the she can barely breathe.
Chloe collapses to the floor.
Confused, Lex looks from girl to leopard. "I didn't think they'd both end up dead."
He steps around Chloe and retrieves the three pool balls from the floor. He places them on the table and reaches for a cue as the police burst into the room.
tbc
by Linda Seaton
Chloe ducks around Lex as he shuts the door and leads the cat into the entry hall of the house. He kneels and loosens the belt.
"Maybe you shouldn't do that, Lex?" Chloe asks as she grabs an urn from a side table near the door.
Lex tugs the belt free. The leopard gives him a questioning look before padding off deeper into the house.
Chloe exhales and puts the urn down. Unsure of what to do she wait at the door.
Lex merely stares at her for a few long, uncomfortable moments. He finally asks, "Would you like to have sex now or later?"
A hundred different responses rattle through Chloe's brain but all she can manage is a squeaky, "Later."
Lex nods and ambles off down a hallway.
Chloe reaches back for the door handle just a man screams from one of the downstairs' rooms. With his suit in tatters, the butler slides through the entry room, shoves past the girl and races out of the house.
Chloe looks longingly toward the freedom of the open door but realizes she cannot leave Lex. In his current frame of mind he is perfect leopard food. He'd be psychoanalyzing the leopard's motivation for eating his leg while the leopard was eating his leg.
"Lex?!" Chloe calls and wobbles off in the direction Lex had traveled. Her head throbbing, she struggles to put one foot in front of the other. "Lex!"
She steps through a doorway and finds the man racking balls for a game of pool. She looks for a door to close but all the entrances to the room are open archways. "This place is a castle – a fortress – aren't there any doors to lock?"
Confused, Lex scans the room. He suddenly grins and begins to unbutton his shirt. "Oh."
"No, not that. And I thought you were trying to win my trust?"
"If you have sex with me that means you trust me."
Chloe shakes her head and she can hear the blood pounding. "I see many more marriages in your future."
Lex lines up for the break on the pool table. "Oh, that rule doesn't apply to everyone. I figure my brain put my anima in a good girl suit for a reason."
"I don't even know how to respond to that one." Chloe runs her hand through her hair and comes back with droplets of blood. "But maybe I'd be doing better right now if I had worn a seatbelt."
The leopard roars from what sounds like somewhere upstairs. Lex jumps a little and misses his shot.
"Lex, we should go outside. Get out of the house."
He offers her the pool cue. "Your shot."
Chloe takes the potential weapon and leans against the pool table. She focuses on every word as she speaks, "Lex, I'm real. The real Chloe. That cat is real. Your father set up his own menagerie on the estate and I ended up with a leopard in my car. Do you understand?"
He blinks at her. "You're solids."
Chloe turns to the pool table. "Lex, is there any reason you can think of why your father would keep wild cats on the estate?"
"Of course. His hair."
"Hair?"
"Secretions from wild cats' anal glands are responsible for the glossy sheen of my father's mane. Are you going to take your shot?"
Chloe takes a wild shot and the pool balls scatter. She turns and Lex is practically on top of her. He leans in and kisses her on the lips. Her eyes start to close but then she realizes this is the worst kiss she has ever suffered through in her life. Given, she can count the number of people who have kissed her on one hand and there might be worse kissers out there but she at this moment she doubts it.
She starts to push him away and then over his shoulder spots the leopard in the doorway. She carefully pulls back. "Lex, the leopard is here. The leopard is real. Look."
He glances back at the leopard as it slinks into the room and disappears into the shadow of the room. "It's real?" Unsure, he turns and tries to find the cat.
The scraping sound of talons on stone seems to come from every corner of the room. There is a flash of fur as the leopard launches itself over a sofa.
Chloe grabs a pool ball from the table and throws it with a wobbly arm. The projectile connects with the cat's chest knocking it off balance. The cat roars and drops low to the ground. Chloe throws again and misses.
Lex grabs the eight ball from the table and hurls it at the cat. The ball cracks against the leopard's head. The cat keels over in a panting heap.
The battered Chloe actually looks impressed. "To bad there's no career path in what you just did. You're really good at throwing pool balls."
Happy with the praise, Lex smiles but he seems a little unsure of what is actually going on with both the cat and the girl. He straightens and reaches for Chloe. "Where were we?"
"Please, let's not. It was a little too actorly for me." She motions toward the cat. "Can we call the police? Or at least animal control?"
"Actorly? That's not even a word." He pauses and looks down at Chloe. "No one's ever complained before."
"You're very rich and slightly famous." Chloe frowns. The word 'slightly' sounded slurred to her own ears. "Can we call someone? Please?"
"Actorly?"
"Mannered? That's an actual word, right?"
"Mannered?"
"Workmanlike? Affected? I'm running out of adjectives."
He smirks at her. "And what do you know?"
"That I have a concussion and I'd like to call the police."
He turns in a half-circle then strides over to her. Hesitating as the momentum dies away, he lifts her chin and kisses her again.
She lifts a hand to push him away but it merely comes to rest on his chest. The kiss is very different this time. The attempt to prove kissing proficiency disappears into something exploratory and a little awkward. She wants to laugh because its the only way to make sense of how ridiculously happy she feels. She suddenly realizes that he is the one laughing.
Chloe can hear the sound of his heart or maybe her heart or, hell, maybe the cat's heart beating in her ears. She feels his thumb skimming along the line of her pulse down her throat and the she can barely breathe.
Chloe collapses to the floor.
Confused, Lex looks from girl to leopard. "I didn't think they'd both end up dead."
He steps around Chloe and retrieves the three pool balls from the floor. He places them on the table and reaches for a cue as the police burst into the room.
tbc