Grey
Chapter 7
Rei and Shou were beginning to fear my strength, my ability to kill without twitching a hair. I, on the other hand, despised them for being soft and unable to treat themselves as tools that would obey orders and kill mercilessly. Although our unit still worked as a team, I had been put in a different light since that day, and I could already sense a rift separating us.
The distance between us only grew over the years, and the numerous B-rank missions we undertook only forced me to draw more blood. Moreover, my outstanding performance in battle caused a certain degree of envy and jealousy for me.
I was often green with envy whenever I saw other teams enjoying themselves in one another's company. It didn't help that the rest of my team was very close while I stood apart from them, often unable to join in. Although Kyojiro did attempt to integrate me into the team, Rei and Shou were unwilling to let me join them. Sometimes I wondered if I might have been happier remaining as the baby of the team, but I knew I would have rebelled against that sooner or later.
I suffered greatly during the time spent as a chuunin because I had no friends to share my troubles with. Hayato-sensei was often occupied, being a jounin, and a candidate for the post of Yondaime Hokage. Hence conversations with him hardly progressed beyond greetings and small talk. Being a busy person myself, I was often stressed and burdened with other problems. Gradually, I began to develop insomnia, for every time I lay down, I would dwell on all the pain that I'd suffered all this while.
Although I met Asuma and Tsukika occasionally, it was difficult to pour out my grievances to them. They were my only true friends besides Hayato-sensei, and yet, I found myself unable to open my heart to them. Why?
And then there was my mission of spying on Konoha. I wasn't getting anywhere with it; my entire life was devoted to completing my missions, and I hardly even thought about the original objective that I had risked so much for.
I felt incredibly lost. It had been nearly seven years since I'd set out on the mission that my village had wagered its honour on. And yet, in these long months that I'd spent here in Konoha, I had accomplished nothing, only risking my life and cheating others of the truth they ought to know about me.
I often had nightmares of myself getting caught by the Konoha Anbu, being mutilated with small knives, being the victim of someone's genjutsu, or having to suffer the white hot pain that was so real, and yet completely intangible.
Hayato-sensei says I scream in my sleep sometimes, so I tell him it's just the memories of my parents' last moments coming back to haunt me.
*****
When given the chance to sit for the Jounin examination, I snatched at it, for I could not bear being with my teammates for much longer. Since the jounin examination was to be taken individually--unlike the chuunin exam, I simply passed a polite note to my teammates to inform them of my participation in the exam.
It wasn't like they really cared anyway. I did it out of courtesy so that they had one less thing to hate me for. Kakashi this, Kakashi that. Nothing I did was ever right, and I was openly rejected by my teammates for being a true shinobi.
It is widely known and accepted fact that a shinobi is merely a tool, one without emotion, who will follow his master's orders no matter what. I was only trying my best to become a first-rate shinobi, so what was wrong with being a detached killing machine?
I couldn't understand my teammates. That was probably the main reason why I decided to move on, and hopefully meet others who would understand me better.
There were 26 other candidates taking part in the first round of the examination, Asuma and Gai among them. We were to fight it out among ourselves within a confined area--a test of our survival skills.
The system was somewhat like that in the Chuunin exam, just that it was one-on-one combat all the way. However, what made it different and challenging was that each of the candidates was to collect three different scrolls: Fire, Water and Air within three days. We also had to make a 30 kilometre trek to the tower situated at the epicentre of the 'park'.
Therefore, only a maximum of 9 could pass the first round of the examination. However, there was also a possibility that no one would get past this round.
The odds were against us, and since the venue--the Forest of Death was home to many treacherous animals such as giant snakes and wild beasts, we risked death with our participation in this examination.
As I stood outside the chained gates of the Forest of Death, I gulped, and swallowed the fear churning within me. I knew that the other candidates were older than me, and hence I guessed that I would probably be one of the first to be targeted, along with Asuma and Gai.
I pondered my moves as time trickled by. The time for us to enter the venue had not come, so I slowly came up with a strategy which would require either Asuma or Gai to play an integral role, depending on whom I found first.
The gates swung open with an eerie creak as the clock struck ten. I sped into the Forest of Death, bracing myself for attacks, while searching for Asuma and Gai.
As it turned out, I found Gai first, and we agreed to form an alliance and watch each other's backs. Both of us found it perfectly logical that we would become the main targets of attack by the rest of the older, battle-scarred candidates, since we were inexperienced eleven-year-olds.
However, despite being agreeable to everything else, our main problem lay with the scrolls. What would happen if we only managed to gather three different scrolls, which was only sufficient for one person to pass? After much deliberation, we agreed to fight it out if it came to that.
*****
Much as we would have liked to avoid fighting each other, we were unfortunate enough to gather only four scrolls, insufficient for the two of us. Naturally, I found it against my morals to fight against my comrade in battle, but our situation was such that we had no choice.
Our fight was not at all reminiscent of our childhood conflicts. It was a full blown battle that caused significant changes to our surroundings. Gai had improved by leaps and bounds, and he had long since matured from the silly loser of his childhood days. Some things, like his poor taste in fashion, hadn't changed. However, he now could move at the speed of light, and very often, I had to rely on instinct, rather than on my senses, to detect his presence.
However, a serious tactical blunder on his part gave me a chance to defeat him, and hence the scrolls were mine. Although I felt the triumph of beating an outstanding ninja like him, I still felt a pang of guilt for betraying him.
*****
As it turned out, I was the only one who had managed to amass the required number of scrolls, and reach the tower within the time limit.
The other interviews and tests flew by, and before I knew it, I was a fully-fledged jounin. Since I was new, I was not put in charge of any genin, but was often sent on A-ranked missions to assassinate for a fee. Chidori, named for its unique sound resulting from friction, was especially useful, effective and humane way to kill. Quick and relatively painless, it quickly became my main tool in killing.
I had become firm friends with a teenager three years my senior, Uchiha Obito, for we were often dispatched together on missions, strangely enough. Obito put it to fate, and often joked about us being chosen to be together by Kami-sama.
I was so much more at home with my fellow jounins, because we were all true ninjas, killing without remorse. The couple of years I spent in the jounin division of Konoha's ninja force were probably one of the most memorable times of my life.
Hence, when I was given a chance to join Anbu, I hesitated, unwilling to leave the company of these wonderful people who shared similar dreams, and who were willing to stand up for their teammates.
A/n: Once again, thanks to all you reviewers, especially my classmates, who have been so supportive of me *sniffles*, as well as Azi: Naruto's Twin Sister. ^^ Love you lots!!