Disclaimer: Do not own, will not steal, do not sue, do not kill.
Rating: PG-13- for now.
"Dixon?"
Sydney could barely believe her eyes. Dixon had called her an hour before, asking her to meet him downtown, in an alley alongside small, seedy diner by the docks, on condition that she come by herself, and not tell anyone. "Sydney," he had said, his voice like steel, "when I was taken out of SD-6, you said you owed me a favor, since you hadn't told me about your double agent status. I'm calling the favor in now."
Properly guilted, she agreed not to tell anyone and had headed for the diner in a borrowed car. She had arrived five minutes early, looked around the diner, and sneaked into the alleyway. When Dixon had arrived, face hidden by a low-pulled black cabbie cap and black high-collar jacket, she hadn't even recognized him.
"Hello, Sydney." His voice was grim, and he stood opposite her, his face half-hidden in the shadows.
Sydney got right to the point. "You know that by all accounts, I'm supposed to arrest you and bring you in right now."
"You won't do that," Dixon said, so calmly that it was almost frightening. "I'll let you kill me before I do that."
Sydney dropped her professional façade and looked her friend in the eye. "Dixon, I know how frustrated you are, but- please, come back with me. I'll put in a good word for you- we'll make up something, so you won't get punished. The CIA can help you, they're doing everything they can, and intelligence you have will be very helpful in-"
"Sydney," Dixon said, tiredly. "It's not going to work. Stop trying to convince me."
Sydney fell silent.
"I just called you here this evening to inform you I'm going freelance on this case- and to tell you goodbye. I felt that it was due you, having been my partner- and friend- for so long. I also wanted to give you the opportunity to join me, if you wanted."
Sydney shook her head. "Dixon, I could never-"
Dixon cut her off. "Sydney, it could take years before the CIA catches Sloane, if ever, and even then-" he shook his head. "There's always a chance for a presidential pardon, especially if he gives the CIA valuable information. "
"I know, Dixon, but-"
"Sydney." His voice was gentle, but firm. "I'm not going to wait."
Sydney looked up, into Dixon's eyes. His voice was soft and emotionless, but his eyes- they looked equally cold, and hot, burning up with cool, primal……rage. She actually sat back.
"Look at what he's done to you, to your family," Dixon's low monotone was as mesmerizing as it was scary. "To his own wife, for God's sake!"
"Dixon……"
"He deserves……" Dixon shook his head. "I won't lie to you, Sydney. I want revenge. I want to grab him by the throat, completely at my mercy, and look him in the eyes, and ask….why."
"Oh, God," Sydney murmured, her head flooding with painful thoughts, memories……Sloane.....her mother…..Sark….oh, God.
Dixon watched her musingly for a minute, as her head swirled with thoughts. When he spoke, his tone was low and flat. "I have some international contacts, Sydney."
Her head snapped up.
"Yes. All contacts that the CIA might find too……controversial to use."
"Why….how….?"
"That doesn't matter," Dixon said with a sigh. "I hate to use them, myself. But if I'm going to find Sloane- I really don't have a choice. My main contact has worked with Sloane in the past, and the intelligence she has is…..disquieting, at best. I'm sure, that for a little exchange, she'd gladly…."
"You would give up CIA intelligence?" Sydney gasped. Was this Dixon she was speaking to?
"To catch Sloane, I'd do anything," Dixon said, coolly.
"Dixon….God. what happened to your patriotism?"
"My family comes before all that, Syd. And yours would, too, if you thought about it." When her expression proved unyielding, he sighed again, then continued, his voice like ice. "Sydney, I gave nearly two decades of my life to fighting for what I thought was my country, and when the truth was revealed, found out that the CIA had allowed me to continue that charade for much of that time, while they- and my partner- looked on. I'm tired of being fooled and manipulated, Sydney."
Sydney looked at the floor.
"I owe the CIA nothing, and Syd- I really have to do this on my own."
There was total silence for a few minutes, save for the evening breeze, whistling atop the building roof. Sydney shivered. When had it gotten so cold?
"I have to leave soon," Dixon said simply, as if the passionate, bitter words he'd spat out a minute ago had never been said. "Are you with me?"
Sydney knew she couldn't, although now she understood, somewhat, at least. "I'm sorry, Dixon."
Dixon nodded, as if that had been the reaction he expected. "I have to go now." He stepped forward, pulling Sydney into his arms, hugging her tightly. He released her, then gave her a wan smile. "Keep an eye out for my kids, will you?"
She nodded, unable to speak.
He smiled again, tilting his head to the side. "I've often thought of you as a daughter, or at least a student, you know that?" he said. "Remember, I love you, Syd. Whatever happens- it happens. It's been fun." He chucked her lightly under the chin, then turned and left the alley.
Sydney wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and squeezed them shut, trying to regain her composure. Then she flipped her watch over, speaking into it.
"Director Kendall, Dad? I've got those coordinates….."
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