Mistress of Darkness Part II
8 hours later
With a small smile the wealthy CEO leaned back in his seat and re-read the document on the computer screen before him (not the same one he used earlier, he had gotten a new one). He felt much better now about the vampiress pursuing him, and even found that it would be advantageous to marry her.
For one, the press would be all over it, and wouldn't it look good to Kaiba Corp customers if the CEO supported... minorities?
For another thing, vampires always lived in big mansions, so they had to have money, right? And money equals prestige. Prestigious people were rarely home; they always had to travel around to other prestigious people, so if Kaiba played his cards right they might not have to be together much at all. Yes, prestigious family with prestigious friends. Prestigious equals money equals power. Heck, some vampires lived in castles. They might even be of noble blood.
Kaiba pictured himself sipping bourbon*, slipping subtly influential comments in the ears of influential people, in the center of a castle ballroom with tapestries draped from the walls and red carpet and a lavish dueling ring across from whom is someone who will steal your soul...
A shudder slipped up his spine as memory squeezed his mind with icy talons. Okay, definitely no castle. Red's a tacky color anyway.
Besides all that, maybe it would be nice to have a--his brain recoiled from the thought--wife. Unfortunately, she didn't seem the wash-cook-and-clean kind of woman, but maybe she'd be interesting in assisting him in running Kai-- at this point his objective brain violently dragged him back to reality. You're making excuses, it said. You're trying to justify what happened this afternoon, it said, but didn't think that was emphatic enough and added, moron.
Finally cracking, Kaiba brought his head down on the desk. Hard. It hurt.
Ouch, said his brain.
Strangely enough, the pain helped clarify things, and the jolt had jarred loose all the obvious things that had hid in the back of his brain.
Who said this vampiress wanted marriage? If she was after money, then it would be a necessity, but maybe she could use her seductive powers to bend his will?
The CEO nearly laughed out loud. Yeah, right. She'd better not have those hopes in mind, because they had a snowflake's chance in Hades of happening.
So maybe she wasn't after money. Perhaps all she wanted was... Of course, Kaiba could never understand for the life of him how a one-night-stand could be beneficial to anybody, but apparently it was done.
Kaiba sighed, and realized he was tired, and glanced at his watch. And cursed. It was eleven o'clock. Judgment hour. Convincing a vampiress that she had to leave his house couldn't be that hard, could it?
Um... said his brain. Coffee shop.
Kaiba got up. She wouldn't be at the door, she had taken a key. So where could he find her? Should he wait for her? Wait, his goal was in avoidance. He didn't need to find her. Then again, his mansion was full of valuable stuff...
Angry at her, himself, Domino City, and the universe in general, the CEO started down the hall. About three feet later, he thought he heard a noise in one of the offices, and against all normal, rational reasoning he went to investigate.
It was a fairly small, cozy office, with a fireplace (with real flames if not wood, just rustic enough to be comfortable but with enough metallic overtones to keep his stomach settled) against one wall jousting with the dim fluorescents for percentage of lighting, a comfy couch perpendicular to the fireplace facing the door, and a small, round table in front of the couch. Tonight, as an added bonus, there was a bat hanging in the corner. Belatedly, Kaiba realized that the fireplace had probably never seen flame in its existence and therefore had absolutely no good reason to be on now.
The bat flew down from the ceiling, but as it dropped it began to change shape in ways that would have driven any scientifically-minded soul to the happy place with mushy walls and nice men with sterilely white jackets. Kaiba simply stared. Nothing surprised him at this point; the bat could have burst into flame, grown fins, and let hair-eating monsters in from the netherworld, and he would have calmly dialed Ghostbusters.
The bat now was in the shape of a human woman, the same one from the coffee shop. It spoke.
"Mr. Kaiba," she crooned in a syrupy voice. "I have found my way in."
"I can see that," he replied coldly, feeling his stupid heart beginning to flutter. He had to get this woman out of here. "Now find your way out."
"Oh, but Mr. Kaiba," she said, "you work far too much."
Oh no, she was walking closer, and there wasn't a thing he could do to stop her. He knew that now. She was like an iceberg, unstoppable in its path of destruction, and destruction was coming his way.
"Ye- stay back!" he warned, narrowly avoiding an affirmative answer, but to his dismay his voice wavered.
"Very well, Seto," she crooned, and kissed his cheek, much for forcefully than in the coffee shop.
Fireworks went off in his brain and triggered some deeply-ingrained defense mechanism, and before he knew it he was facedown on the couch, muttering a blessing to the cushion over his head, a vase in his yet stinging hand ready for launch, the vampiress smirking and rubbing her cheek.
"Play nice, Seto."
"Get... away... from me!" It was difficult to speak, he was shaking so badly. His scrambled mind groped for some form of sanity. What defeats a vampire?** Holy Water? Ha, like there's any of that around here... a stake through the heart? Heh heh heh, if only I had a stake. Silver? Silver! There must be some silver around here somewhere!
He looked at the vase in his hand, and was a bit startled to find that it wasn't. The vampiress had it in her long, white, slender... claws. Think negative, think negative. It just magic, after all...
That should have worked. Thinking negatively was not a new concept to Kaiba. He didn't even believe in magic, but this line of thought doesn't work simply because a million brain cells can't be drunk on what doesn't exist.
In fact, if Kaiba had been able to think clearly, he may have reflected that most of his brain cells were not only drunk, they had forgotten to select a designated driver, began walking home in the rain, blamed each other, gotten in a semi-conscious fist-fight, and were now lying in a gutter somewhere.
In any case, the cushion was now removed, and the vampiress was seated by his limp feet and bending towards him, still grinning seductively.
Weakly, he tried to push her away, but apparently his muscle cells had gone to the same party as his brain and were now beginning to argue over who was supposed to bring the umbrella.
Warm hands were on his shoulders, massaging gently. The muscle cells passed out on the floor before they had a chance to get out the door.
"Get..." he mumbled, using his elbows as a screwdriver into her shoulders, but to no avail.
"You're so tense," she murmured teasingly.
Ha, thought the few brain cells left.
He felt a pressure on his neck, a light brush She had kissed him!
Hold up! said the brain cells. Neck! Vampires! Bad!
"Hold still," she breathed.
Ah, how life bends and twists unexpectedly. Usually, it's to our disadvantage. Sometimes it's to our benefit. Almost always, however, the unlucky/lucky twist is amusing to somebody, if looked at in a certain light, and we can either laugh or cry over it. Sometimes, however, it's hard to find just the right light and angle to gaze into the amusement. These times must be given by the Being Upstairs Himself to test our perspective.***
It was at this time when Kaiba's perspective was the lucky number to be tested, and it probably failed, for when the door was flung open and Mokuba stepped in, a laugh was not what came to mind.
Time stopped.
For one brief moment, the black-haired youngster just stood in the doorway, mouth hanging open, unsure of what was going on.
For one brief moment, Kaiba got a gruesome mental image of how he looked, lying on a couch under a suggestively-clad women who was massaging his shoulders and trying to kiss him. On his (shudder) neck!
Time kicked itself and began again.
Mokuba broke into a wide, knowing grin (knowing? thought Kaiba later, that kid is going to get a strict talking-to...), flashed him a thumbs-up (now he definitely needs that talking-to), and hurried out the door.
"It's not what you-" the shell-shocked Kaiba belatedly shouted after, but Mokuba was gone.
It was about three seconds after when Kaiba realized that his little brother's entrance had broken the spell. The brain cells were up and out of the gutter, albeit with a terrible hangover, and the muscle cells had also revived and were hyped on coffee.
Kaiba wasn't stupid. He learned from his mistakes.
He fled.
Down the hall he flew, glancing frantically for silver. All that could be seen was chrome.
Chrome here, chrome there, chrome over there (you thought I was going to say 'everywhere', didn't you?)...
Panic makes people do odd things. Adrenaline makes people do odd things. Hormones make people do odd things. Mixing the three is similar to the biological equivalent of sprinkling gunpowder on the floor of a flour mill in a volcano at the heart of Hades (no, not the cold Greek one).
If I get through this, oh god of silver, I promise I'll never buy chrome again! I'll buy silver! Always! Lots and lots of beautiful, shiny, expensive, vampire-killing silver! I'll buy silver knives, and forks, and spoons, and shot glasses-oh man could use one of those right now-and stakes... yes, lots and lots of silver stakes... if only I could find some real @#$% silver, and not all of this !@#$ chrome!
Suddenly he realized something. Mokuba's necklace: it was a crucifix! That must be why he broke her spell... But the kid was gone off somewhere now, not much chance they'd bump into each other again... okay, be honest, not much chance he'd let them bump into each other again, so he'd just have to find something else.
His eyes settled an instant on a door up ahead that led outside. No, to risky; they'd be seen for sure.
Once again, someone found the window of opportunity locked and decided to use the door instead.
Kaiba found himself transferring a good deal of kinetic energy**** to a large steel door that had been flung open without warning, which flung it back to him with such force he was thrown onto his back.
In an instant his abused brain cells decided to initiate an emergency reboot.
The first thing he was aware of was the cold floor under his back. Next, he heard a triumphant voice gloating: "I have done it! I am finally in the great Seto Kaiba's mansion! Hahaha! I am truly the greatest thief in the world! (Maniacal laughter)"
When his vision finally came on line along with the rest of his senses, he saw the offending door first, and a white-haired, pale-skinned teenage boy with evil eyes and an ugly striped shirt turn to see the vampiress, and gasp, his eyes growing round as basketballs and a look of horror creeping across his face.
"Oh, Ra-"
"Bakura, how nice to see you again!" she murmured, the smile playing at her lips.
At this point Kaiba stood to his full height, and tried desperately to remember how to be menacing.
"Who are you and what are you doing here?"
The thief tried to recover, and placed his hand around a horrendously tacky gold ring hanging from a necklace.
"I am a thi-"
"Seto, dear, it's been fun, but I believe you have an unwanted visitor."
Ha, chorused both Kaiba and Bakura's brain cells.
"So, I shall escort him out of your house." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him firmly on the mouth. The thief, not having Kaiba's defenses, did not resist, and collapsed in her arms.
"So long," she said, dragging the limp form of the thief out the door with her, and winked as she shut it smoothly.
Kaiba didn't bother to warn her that right outside that door was an active construction zone.
**********
On the back of a little slip of paper covered with parameters, Kaiba idly sketched the finishing touches of his stick figure while the advanced virus tracer did its work.
Mokuba came bounding up beside him, glanced at the paper, and cast him a puzzled look. "Big brother, who is it you're thinking of when you 're drawing a stick figure labeled "psychotic-"
Belatedly Kaiba crumbled up the paper and growled a hurried "nothing."
"Look what I found in the tabloids, big brother."
"You shouldn't read those, Mokuba, they're all-" he saw the picture and cursed.
"Isn't that the same girl who was... over... the other day?" Mokuba's eyes got bright and teasing. "Who was she, Seto? Are you going to see her again?"
"She was just-I was going to do some business with her, and she got a little... pushy. No, she won't be back. Don't hang out with people like her, Mokuba."
"Sure, right, big bro! Just consulting business! Well, I'm off to a friend's house!" He winked. "Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone!"
"Mokuba, it's not-!" But he was gone.
Kaiba sighed, and looked at the result. Oh, THAT Bakura... ha. Well, the guy got what he deserved, so one less vandal to hunt him down. Kaiba crossed the name out of his book.
Back on ebay, a pop-up advertising a swimsuit calendar displaying a grinning blond appeared. A shy, embarrassed red flag went up in his body, which had decided that it rather enjoyed the rush it got from the vampiress, and his heart beat just the slightest hair faster.
Kaiba sighed again and closed the ad. It was going to be a long life...
______________THE END_________________
*Okay, this little quip about bourbon is a reference to pachelbel's "seto kaiba's online diary." I couldn't resist.
**Forgive me if I get my legends mixed up. For being a D&D player (why did I have to be the stinking CLERIC?!), I don't know much about mythology... I just know I'm going to kill a certain friend of mine who was the direct cause of the DM giving me griffon named Pegasus -.-
*** "Now do you think God looked down on that and said 'Look! My people are having fun! NO! *stomp*' " -Ken Davis, A Twisted Mind (video) (Sorry, again, I couldn't resist)
****Kinetic energy: energy of motion. (just in case someone didn't know)
8 hours later
With a small smile the wealthy CEO leaned back in his seat and re-read the document on the computer screen before him (not the same one he used earlier, he had gotten a new one). He felt much better now about the vampiress pursuing him, and even found that it would be advantageous to marry her.
For one, the press would be all over it, and wouldn't it look good to Kaiba Corp customers if the CEO supported... minorities?
For another thing, vampires always lived in big mansions, so they had to have money, right? And money equals prestige. Prestigious people were rarely home; they always had to travel around to other prestigious people, so if Kaiba played his cards right they might not have to be together much at all. Yes, prestigious family with prestigious friends. Prestigious equals money equals power. Heck, some vampires lived in castles. They might even be of noble blood.
Kaiba pictured himself sipping bourbon*, slipping subtly influential comments in the ears of influential people, in the center of a castle ballroom with tapestries draped from the walls and red carpet and a lavish dueling ring across from whom is someone who will steal your soul...
A shudder slipped up his spine as memory squeezed his mind with icy talons. Okay, definitely no castle. Red's a tacky color anyway.
Besides all that, maybe it would be nice to have a--his brain recoiled from the thought--wife. Unfortunately, she didn't seem the wash-cook-and-clean kind of woman, but maybe she'd be interesting in assisting him in running Kai-- at this point his objective brain violently dragged him back to reality. You're making excuses, it said. You're trying to justify what happened this afternoon, it said, but didn't think that was emphatic enough and added, moron.
Finally cracking, Kaiba brought his head down on the desk. Hard. It hurt.
Ouch, said his brain.
Strangely enough, the pain helped clarify things, and the jolt had jarred loose all the obvious things that had hid in the back of his brain.
Who said this vampiress wanted marriage? If she was after money, then it would be a necessity, but maybe she could use her seductive powers to bend his will?
The CEO nearly laughed out loud. Yeah, right. She'd better not have those hopes in mind, because they had a snowflake's chance in Hades of happening.
So maybe she wasn't after money. Perhaps all she wanted was... Of course, Kaiba could never understand for the life of him how a one-night-stand could be beneficial to anybody, but apparently it was done.
Kaiba sighed, and realized he was tired, and glanced at his watch. And cursed. It was eleven o'clock. Judgment hour. Convincing a vampiress that she had to leave his house couldn't be that hard, could it?
Um... said his brain. Coffee shop.
Kaiba got up. She wouldn't be at the door, she had taken a key. So where could he find her? Should he wait for her? Wait, his goal was in avoidance. He didn't need to find her. Then again, his mansion was full of valuable stuff...
Angry at her, himself, Domino City, and the universe in general, the CEO started down the hall. About three feet later, he thought he heard a noise in one of the offices, and against all normal, rational reasoning he went to investigate.
It was a fairly small, cozy office, with a fireplace (with real flames if not wood, just rustic enough to be comfortable but with enough metallic overtones to keep his stomach settled) against one wall jousting with the dim fluorescents for percentage of lighting, a comfy couch perpendicular to the fireplace facing the door, and a small, round table in front of the couch. Tonight, as an added bonus, there was a bat hanging in the corner. Belatedly, Kaiba realized that the fireplace had probably never seen flame in its existence and therefore had absolutely no good reason to be on now.
The bat flew down from the ceiling, but as it dropped it began to change shape in ways that would have driven any scientifically-minded soul to the happy place with mushy walls and nice men with sterilely white jackets. Kaiba simply stared. Nothing surprised him at this point; the bat could have burst into flame, grown fins, and let hair-eating monsters in from the netherworld, and he would have calmly dialed Ghostbusters.
The bat now was in the shape of a human woman, the same one from the coffee shop. It spoke.
"Mr. Kaiba," she crooned in a syrupy voice. "I have found my way in."
"I can see that," he replied coldly, feeling his stupid heart beginning to flutter. He had to get this woman out of here. "Now find your way out."
"Oh, but Mr. Kaiba," she said, "you work far too much."
Oh no, she was walking closer, and there wasn't a thing he could do to stop her. He knew that now. She was like an iceberg, unstoppable in its path of destruction, and destruction was coming his way.
"Ye- stay back!" he warned, narrowly avoiding an affirmative answer, but to his dismay his voice wavered.
"Very well, Seto," she crooned, and kissed his cheek, much for forcefully than in the coffee shop.
Fireworks went off in his brain and triggered some deeply-ingrained defense mechanism, and before he knew it he was facedown on the couch, muttering a blessing to the cushion over his head, a vase in his yet stinging hand ready for launch, the vampiress smirking and rubbing her cheek.
"Play nice, Seto."
"Get... away... from me!" It was difficult to speak, he was shaking so badly. His scrambled mind groped for some form of sanity. What defeats a vampire?** Holy Water? Ha, like there's any of that around here... a stake through the heart? Heh heh heh, if only I had a stake. Silver? Silver! There must be some silver around here somewhere!
He looked at the vase in his hand, and was a bit startled to find that it wasn't. The vampiress had it in her long, white, slender... claws. Think negative, think negative. It just magic, after all...
That should have worked. Thinking negatively was not a new concept to Kaiba. He didn't even believe in magic, but this line of thought doesn't work simply because a million brain cells can't be drunk on what doesn't exist.
In fact, if Kaiba had been able to think clearly, he may have reflected that most of his brain cells were not only drunk, they had forgotten to select a designated driver, began walking home in the rain, blamed each other, gotten in a semi-conscious fist-fight, and were now lying in a gutter somewhere.
In any case, the cushion was now removed, and the vampiress was seated by his limp feet and bending towards him, still grinning seductively.
Weakly, he tried to push her away, but apparently his muscle cells had gone to the same party as his brain and were now beginning to argue over who was supposed to bring the umbrella.
Warm hands were on his shoulders, massaging gently. The muscle cells passed out on the floor before they had a chance to get out the door.
"Get..." he mumbled, using his elbows as a screwdriver into her shoulders, but to no avail.
"You're so tense," she murmured teasingly.
Ha, thought the few brain cells left.
He felt a pressure on his neck, a light brush She had kissed him!
Hold up! said the brain cells. Neck! Vampires! Bad!
"Hold still," she breathed.
Ah, how life bends and twists unexpectedly. Usually, it's to our disadvantage. Sometimes it's to our benefit. Almost always, however, the unlucky/lucky twist is amusing to somebody, if looked at in a certain light, and we can either laugh or cry over it. Sometimes, however, it's hard to find just the right light and angle to gaze into the amusement. These times must be given by the Being Upstairs Himself to test our perspective.***
It was at this time when Kaiba's perspective was the lucky number to be tested, and it probably failed, for when the door was flung open and Mokuba stepped in, a laugh was not what came to mind.
Time stopped.
For one brief moment, the black-haired youngster just stood in the doorway, mouth hanging open, unsure of what was going on.
For one brief moment, Kaiba got a gruesome mental image of how he looked, lying on a couch under a suggestively-clad women who was massaging his shoulders and trying to kiss him. On his (shudder) neck!
Time kicked itself and began again.
Mokuba broke into a wide, knowing grin (knowing? thought Kaiba later, that kid is going to get a strict talking-to...), flashed him a thumbs-up (now he definitely needs that talking-to), and hurried out the door.
"It's not what you-" the shell-shocked Kaiba belatedly shouted after, but Mokuba was gone.
It was about three seconds after when Kaiba realized that his little brother's entrance had broken the spell. The brain cells were up and out of the gutter, albeit with a terrible hangover, and the muscle cells had also revived and were hyped on coffee.
Kaiba wasn't stupid. He learned from his mistakes.
He fled.
Down the hall he flew, glancing frantically for silver. All that could be seen was chrome.
Chrome here, chrome there, chrome over there (you thought I was going to say 'everywhere', didn't you?)...
Panic makes people do odd things. Adrenaline makes people do odd things. Hormones make people do odd things. Mixing the three is similar to the biological equivalent of sprinkling gunpowder on the floor of a flour mill in a volcano at the heart of Hades (no, not the cold Greek one).
If I get through this, oh god of silver, I promise I'll never buy chrome again! I'll buy silver! Always! Lots and lots of beautiful, shiny, expensive, vampire-killing silver! I'll buy silver knives, and forks, and spoons, and shot glasses-oh man could use one of those right now-and stakes... yes, lots and lots of silver stakes... if only I could find some real @#$% silver, and not all of this !@#$ chrome!
Suddenly he realized something. Mokuba's necklace: it was a crucifix! That must be why he broke her spell... But the kid was gone off somewhere now, not much chance they'd bump into each other again... okay, be honest, not much chance he'd let them bump into each other again, so he'd just have to find something else.
His eyes settled an instant on a door up ahead that led outside. No, to risky; they'd be seen for sure.
Once again, someone found the window of opportunity locked and decided to use the door instead.
Kaiba found himself transferring a good deal of kinetic energy**** to a large steel door that had been flung open without warning, which flung it back to him with such force he was thrown onto his back.
In an instant his abused brain cells decided to initiate an emergency reboot.
The first thing he was aware of was the cold floor under his back. Next, he heard a triumphant voice gloating: "I have done it! I am finally in the great Seto Kaiba's mansion! Hahaha! I am truly the greatest thief in the world! (Maniacal laughter)"
When his vision finally came on line along with the rest of his senses, he saw the offending door first, and a white-haired, pale-skinned teenage boy with evil eyes and an ugly striped shirt turn to see the vampiress, and gasp, his eyes growing round as basketballs and a look of horror creeping across his face.
"Oh, Ra-"
"Bakura, how nice to see you again!" she murmured, the smile playing at her lips.
At this point Kaiba stood to his full height, and tried desperately to remember how to be menacing.
"Who are you and what are you doing here?"
The thief tried to recover, and placed his hand around a horrendously tacky gold ring hanging from a necklace.
"I am a thi-"
"Seto, dear, it's been fun, but I believe you have an unwanted visitor."
Ha, chorused both Kaiba and Bakura's brain cells.
"So, I shall escort him out of your house." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him firmly on the mouth. The thief, not having Kaiba's defenses, did not resist, and collapsed in her arms.
"So long," she said, dragging the limp form of the thief out the door with her, and winked as she shut it smoothly.
Kaiba didn't bother to warn her that right outside that door was an active construction zone.
**********
On the back of a little slip of paper covered with parameters, Kaiba idly sketched the finishing touches of his stick figure while the advanced virus tracer did its work.
Mokuba came bounding up beside him, glanced at the paper, and cast him a puzzled look. "Big brother, who is it you're thinking of when you 're drawing a stick figure labeled "psychotic-"
Belatedly Kaiba crumbled up the paper and growled a hurried "nothing."
"Look what I found in the tabloids, big brother."
"You shouldn't read those, Mokuba, they're all-" he saw the picture and cursed.
"Isn't that the same girl who was... over... the other day?" Mokuba's eyes got bright and teasing. "Who was she, Seto? Are you going to see her again?"
"She was just-I was going to do some business with her, and she got a little... pushy. No, she won't be back. Don't hang out with people like her, Mokuba."
"Sure, right, big bro! Just consulting business! Well, I'm off to a friend's house!" He winked. "Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone!"
"Mokuba, it's not-!" But he was gone.
Kaiba sighed, and looked at the result. Oh, THAT Bakura... ha. Well, the guy got what he deserved, so one less vandal to hunt him down. Kaiba crossed the name out of his book.
Back on ebay, a pop-up advertising a swimsuit calendar displaying a grinning blond appeared. A shy, embarrassed red flag went up in his body, which had decided that it rather enjoyed the rush it got from the vampiress, and his heart beat just the slightest hair faster.
Kaiba sighed again and closed the ad. It was going to be a long life...
______________THE END_________________
*Okay, this little quip about bourbon is a reference to pachelbel's "seto kaiba's online diary." I couldn't resist.
**Forgive me if I get my legends mixed up. For being a D&D player (why did I have to be the stinking CLERIC?!), I don't know much about mythology... I just know I'm going to kill a certain friend of mine who was the direct cause of the DM giving me griffon named Pegasus -.-
*** "Now do you think God looked down on that and said 'Look! My people are having fun! NO! *stomp*' " -Ken Davis, A Twisted Mind (video) (Sorry, again, I couldn't resist)
****Kinetic energy: energy of motion. (just in case someone didn't know)