*DHARKE: (clearing her throat) Wow, the 'legendary award', I dunno what to say …. I would like to thank Dharke Productions, the Academy …. ^ . ° Again huge thanx for reviewing my story. U got me right with the irony and stuff; it's my evil sense of humour, too, lol Well, why Jack? Don't ask, but it's not what I think u think, hehe*

Chapter 6

The night wasn't willing to leave yet but the first rays of the sun forced it back to its dark realm, where it had to wait until his return would be allowed. There was no noise in this street at this time, no slamming car doors of people coming home or leaving, no sounds of an engine, no voices. For a while it was absolutely quiet as if the world rested for a moment to prepare itself for another day, as if everything that had happened only minutes ago had suddenly become unimportant in this little space.

The peaceful silence was unbearable. Carter reached for the remote control and turned the music on. Loud hard beats resounded from the walls, filling the entire loft with Marilyn Manson's This Is The New Shit. He pumped up the volume until the glass that stood next to the left speaker started to vibrate. At first he had thought Marilyn just a weirdo, but then started to like his texts. Use Your Fist And Not Your Mouth seemed to be made for him.

He heard about what had happened in the hospital, Clear had called him up. Though she never would have said so, Carter was sure that she was angry with him for he hadn't warned them, though Alex had assured him only because of the fact he had that premonition at the airport, didn't mean he was going to have them all of the time. Death's plan was not that clear, nor were the premonitions if they appeared. Carter had spent half of the night, trying to find out if he had missed something, some tiny little information whoever had given him, he had failed to connect with the design, whatever it might be about.

And then he made a strike. Some engineer-advertising-catalogue, one of them innumerable advertising stuff firms kept annoying him with. He hadn't taken a closer look at his mail yesterday evening. Damn, what else should he take into consideration? Maybe he should sit down and make a list, checking off the single points each day: morning, midday, evening, night. Check the mail. Watch everything on TV – no matter if commercials or movie – down to the last detail. Interpret and analyse everything you hear or see while talking to people. Jesus, he would go crazy. Now he knew why Browning had become so weird. No, he'd already been like that before. 

The CD stopped and Carter reached for his remote control to play it for the fourth time as he heard the doorbell ring. "I already told you I wouldn't go there", he said as he opened the door.

Alex stared at him, chewing his bottom lip. „Thought I'd asked you again though."

"Could've saved the time. I haven't changed my mind. You know what I said when Terry died. And I still mean it. I'm never gonna go to any of them stupid funerals again. Not to my parent's one, not to one of my friend's. It's not of any use."

"Sometimes it helps –"

"What for?!" Carter interrupted him, sounding harsher than he actually wanted to. He knew that Alex didn't intent to patronize him or make him feel guilty for his decision, but he was just tired of explaining his reasons. "To admit that it won one more time? That one fine day it'll get all of us?" He shook his head. "No. It's like that praying thing. Why do people go to a fucking church? They can do that shit at home. Anytime, anyplace."

Alex remained silent, his hands in the pockets of his pants. He gazed over the room. The interior was typically Carter. Sparsely but expensive furnished, almost no carpets, only a few foliage plants that hardly managed to brighten up the cold colours of the furniture, but not as many as there had been before. A paradise for any psychologist. Everything that could have reminded him of the fact that only days ago he had shared that apartment with Liz was gone, storing in her room until someone would come and get it. End of one period, over and out.

"N stop staring at me that way!"

Alex raised an eyebrow as he noticed that Carter was staring at him, frowning. He looked back innocently. "Which way?"

Carter gave an unnerved sighed n let himself fall into an easy chair beside him.

"Maybe u wanna join us later, there's a –"

"Browning, leave it okay? Just accept my decision n go."

It was obvious that Alex hated the thought to leave Carter alone. He didn't really think that Carter would harm himself, he was too stubborn to let some silly fate defeat him, but since it was still after them …. Carter gave him a tired look. "I swear I'm not even gonna go n take a piss without my cell okay? U can call me up anytime, Mr Overprotective. But for now; just fucking leave my apartment." Though the words were quite rude, his voice didn't sound angry. Alex nodded and reached for the door handle. He had known before how this was going to end, it wasn't hard to guess, but Clear had insisted on it. Well, it had been worth the try.

~°~.~°~.

As soon as Alex had left the apartment, Carter reached for his jacket. He wouldn't stay in here on more minute; he already felt as if the walls were closing in. He needed air, the loud sounds of the city. And for the first time in his life, he deadly needed people, no matter whether he knew them or not, after all he considered it to be better if he didn't. Just distraction. The kind of distraction none of his friends was able to offer him. He waited five more minutes to make sure not to run into Alex or Clear, then took the elevator, down to the underground car park belonging to the house, jumped in his car, turned up the music and speeded out of the garage.

~°~.~°~.

"How is he?" Clear asked as they tried to make their way through the New York street jungle.

"You know Carter. Never show any weakness." Alex shook his head. "He's not going to stay at home, Clear."

"I know." She brushed his hair. "That's why I asked Tod to have an eye on him."

Alex turned his head to face her and see whether she was joking. "Tod is doing - what??"

She shrugged. "The only reason why Tod would've come to the funeral would've been because of you. Because he is your friend and wants to help you. And I told him, that this would be a better way to do that."

It was true that Tod had never really got to know Liz. Though he wasn't in the mood for laughing, Alex couldn't suppress a giggle. "Carter's gonna make mincemeat of him if he finds out what's going on. And since I know about Tod's sneaking abilities we will quickly be able to sell him by the gram."

"Aw come on, he's not that bad."

Alex was confused. "Whom are we talking bout now?"

Clear shrugged again and smiled.

~°~.~°~.

Tod couldn't believe he really got mixed up in that. Him trailing Carter Horton! He must have gone crazy! Maybe these were the after-effects of the pills he still had to take. The part of him that was hoping that perhaps Clear had been mistaken and Carter would stay at home was disappointed the very moment as he saw Carter's black car race out of the garage. Tod would've closed his eyes in despair if he hadn't run the risk of losing sight of him then. For a tiny little second he wished he was still lying in the hospital, but then he dismissed the thought from his mind. He would need his entire attention to try and follow Carter, who was driving like the devil himself as usual. Sometimes Tod wondered whether Carter maybe was an adopted child.

~°~.~°~.

Carter concentrated on the single beats, as right before the best part, the two minutes drums solo, the music was suddenly interrupted by a loud beep. Irritated he pressed the button of his CD player again to make the music continue, regretting it a few seconds later as he understood that the beep must have come from the radio traffic service, which was strange for he never used it. But Carter had learnt from his mistakes, obviously not quick enough though. He tried to adjust the radio to the same station the signal had been sent from, but only heard the same sound again that meant the end of the announcement. "Shit!!" Carter hit on his steering wheel and slammed on the brakes. With squealing tyres the car came to a hold. The next driver tried to brake as well, but failed and crashed into the back of his car. The heavy impact pushed Carter forward and for a moment the belt took his breath as it tightened. There were three more cars crashing into each other, but none of the drivers got badly injured. Within ten seconds one of the main streets was blocked by a long row of cars; some of the drivers that were too far away to be able to see what had happened in front of them hooting wildly.

It took Carter only a second to get out of his car and walk towards the blue Toyota behind him. It didn't count that apparently he himself had been the one who caused the collision; the only thing he knew was that some stupid asshole behind him had better not left his bed this morning. Braking unexpectedly was one thing, crashing into a car another, but crashing into his car was everybody's worst nightmare and he would make sure that it remained that way. The Toyota seemed to be somewhat familiar to him, which didn't stop him from his intention.

"YOU'RE DEAD!!" he yelled at the brown-haired man who had just gotten out. He only realized who it was as he pushed him against the car door. And the recognition didn't soothe his anger, quite the reverse. "FUCK YOU, WAGGNER!!" Carter might be an asshole but he wasn't dim and so it didn't take him long to understand what was going on. "WHO SENT YOU??" he spat. "Lemme guess, it was Clear! Of course! Was it fun to follow me?? Fucking nearly killing me??"

He felt a hand on his shoulder as someone tried to pull him away from Tod.

"Take it off of me or I'm gonna rip it out!" Carter said, his voice suddenly low, which was a bad sign as Tod could tell from many painful meetings he had had with him in the past. Tod wondered what made people believe they couldn't win against Carter Horton, what made him so damn terrifying. Instantly the hand disappeared.

"Oh my God!" he heard a voice behind him, but he wasn't interested in turning around to see what the owner of the voice, a woman in her mid fifties, meant. He saw Tod's pupils dilating as he devoted his attention back to him. That boy's face would be a welcome way to ease the strain he had felt the whole morning through. Tod's eyes widened in disbelief and only now Carter realized that he looked directly past him.

"Oh my God, look at what you've done, if you hadn't suddenly stopped then - OH MY GOD!" This time it was a man's voice that tried to distract him from his potential punching ball. Tod's lips mouthed a word, but since Carter had never had much interest in improving his abilities in lip-reading, he thought it to be a 'please', directed towards someone who should help him.

"Oh my God, fucking bullshit!" a third voice said. "Holy shit, Carter Horton, is that you?"

The mention of his name made him frown. Above the traffic noise the voice didn't sound familiar. He fully turned around to face the man behind him, who was picking up something dirty-red and torn from the asphalt. At first he caught sight of a mop of curly blonde hair, then a pair of brown eyes staring at him, completely surprised. Carter was left speechless.

The blond was the first one to regain his voice. "I never thought I'd ever say that, Horton", he began, giving a short uncertain laugh, "but I guess you just saved my life."

*Yeah well, who is it? Not hard to guess, is it? lol Song line taken from Marilyn Manson: This is The New Shit, 'The Golden Age Of Grotesque', cyal, ^ . ^*