TITLE: THE ONE CONSTANT
AUTHOR: MINN
DISCLAIMER: I don't own nothin' - mores the pity - just playing. No character was really harmed during the typing of this nonsense. The creators of Third Watch are, of course, gods
CHEERS! to all the kind folks who said such nice things about my maiden outing "Grace", and about the follow-up-story-that-isn't-really, "The Replacement".
EXPLAINATION: This here tale gets into the nuts and bolts of how Gracie came to be. If you have no idea who Gracie is, it might pay you to have a wee looksee at my other stories "Grace" and "The Replacement", which basically lead up to this here offering.
FORGIVE ME!: Everything I write I can guarantee is the work of my own sick and twisted little mind - but if anything I write does resemble something that's gone before I can assure you it's pure coincidence - (hangs head in shame) because I don't actually READ much fic (sorry to all the wonderful authors on this site!) But have had occasion to catch up with a few stories recommended by others and have enjoyed them immensely. (Can I stop greasing now?) Also, if you see a phrase or a word that seems a bit odd it's because I'M FOREIGN!!! New Zealand English is a WHOLE different animal - but I've tried to be careful.
SOMETHING ELSE TO NOTE: Season Four of Third Watch hasn't started screening in New Zealand yet so I haven't actually seen the 'new improved' Fr*d or The Anti Cruz. I promise I will do rewrites the MINUTE I do get the opportunity to see them, but in the meantime I beg your collective indulgence on this - if these two characters sound a little "off" in this fic, don't worry - I'll fix the blighters eventually! And so on with the show...
********
THE ONE CONSTANT
Part 4
"Three words?"
Sully looked at Ty who grinned widely.
"I'll have a piece of this action," said Davis, reaching for the pen and the small pad Bosco held in his right hand.
"Can it be more than three words?" Sully asked.
"You hard of hearing, Sullivan? Three words you would use to describe me. That's all." Bosco noticed Ty was scribbling frantically. "Hey Davis, are you deaf as well? Three! Just three! What the hell are you writing?"
Grinning from ear to ear Davis ripped the piece of paper from the pad and jammed it into the envelope Bosco held in his left hand, passing the pen and pad onto Sully.
"What's this in aid of anyway?" Ty asked.
Bosco seemed less than keen to answer. "Something someone thought might help me."
Ty began to laugh. "Oh man, help you? You're letting people tell you, Maurice Boscorelli, what they think of you and you think that'll help you?"
"What? What are you trying to say Davis?"
Sully added his contribution to the envelope and handed Bosco the pad.
"You're either a bigger dumbass than you seem or a very brave man," he rumbled.
"My votes in for dumbass," Davis chuckled, heading off towards roll call.
Faith, who had been watching the exchange quietly from where she stood by her locker, wandered over to her partner.
"What's all this about Bos?"
He avoided her gaze, yet again, and eyed the floor. "O'malley thought I needed a bit of insight into how people see me."
"O'malley?" she said softly. "You're seeing O'malley again?"
"We're gonna be late for roll call," Bosco replied, moving off.
Faith followed, a touch of irritation niggling at her.
Bosco had barely stepped inside the door when others wishing to add their two cents worth detained him. Faith slid past them all and watched with growing concern the looks of delight on her colleague's faces as they scribbled words onto pieces of paper and gleefully handed them to her partner.
'This is gonna end in tears,' she thought. Or in Bosco's case, punches. Either way she was certain the phrase 'describe me in three words' was going to come back to haunt her.
"That's a really cruel thing he's doing."
Bosco's eyes never left the empty street ahead of him. "What is?"
Faith glared at him. The shift so far had been relatively dull and uneventful and they sat in a quiet back street waiting for calls.
"This three words thing," she said, barely able to keep the note of irritation from her voice.
Bosco shrugged. "Its called gaining insight, Faith."
"Insight." She shook her head.
"What? You think I can't handle finding out what people think of me?" His eyes met hers in an angry challenge.
"I just think it's a little cruel."
"Life's cruel, Faith. Get over it. Just promise me you're not going to call O'malley and give him a lecture, OK?"
"What?"
"Look, mommy, thanks for your concern, but if I'm ever gonna be a big boy I need you to let me do things by myself, OK?"
Faith stared at him. "You think I'm mothering you?"
"You've always mothered me Faith. Right from day one I've been your adopted third kid. And you know what? I'm a little tired of being treated like that."
For a moment Faith was lost for words. "Well how's about you grow up then?"
"How about you let me?" He shook the envelope at her. "Step one: see yourself as others see you. Takes courage. Not for the faint hearted. O'malley thinks it'll do me good. Maybe it will, maybe it's just bullshit, I dunno. One thing I do know, Faith - I already have a mom, I already have a shrink, so I don't need you doing either job, OK?"
Faith turned and stared straight ahead of her.
"Do I get a turn?"
"For what?"
"Do I get to add my 3 words?"
"Yours are already in there."
Her head snapped around. "I haven't..."
"Immature, unreliable, useless. Remember?"
"I didn't mean those things..."
"Yeah you did."
"Dammit Bosco!" she exclaimed.
"This is what I've figured out about people Faith - whatever someone says when they're angry or upset or drunk is probably a damn sight closer to the truth than anything they say when they're not."
Faith moved to protest but he cut her off.
"When the inhibitions are down all the polite crap goes out the window and what you have left is the pure, unedited, unbridled truth of what that person thinks and feels. Sad but true. You meant those things Faith, and if that's how you see me, fine, I can live with that. Just have the guts to own it."
She stared at him. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Pushing me away."
"I'm not pushing you away."
"You are."
"You're my partner Faith. We work together. That's all. You don't need to know everything about me and I don't need to know everything about you."
"So shutting me out is being all grown up?" she demanded.
"I'm not shutting you out Faith," Bosco replied evenly.
"You've kept me at arms length from the day I came back after..." Faith let the sentence die on her lips.
He was staring fixedly at the street in front of him.
"Bos, we need to talk about this," she said softly.
"About what?"
"About what happened the day I got my memory back."
Bosco shook his head. "We don't need to go there Faith."
"I think we do."
"I don't."
"Oh, so we go on pretending it never happened?"
"Works for me," he muttered.
"Well it doesn't work for me, Bosco!" she all but shouted.
"YOU kissed ME Faith!"
"I didn't know who...I thought you were...my mind was a mess!" she snapped. "And you weren't exactly fighting me off, were you?"
"So shoot me! I was glad to see you, I thought you were glad to see me."
"Why would you think that?"
He fidgeted. "So it's all my fault?"
"I'm not looking to blame you, Bosco. I just want you to be honest with me."
His full intensity stare speared her. "Honest? About what?" he asked accusingly. "What do you think you know Faith?"
She tried not to look away. "The way you kissed me..."
"I was pleased to see you Faith, I thought you were pleased to see me. I had no idea you didn't know who I was - I should have guessed, I know." He started to mumble and scramble for words. "I'm sorry, OK? I don't think before I act sometimes, you know that...you're always telling me that. I was just pleased to see you again...that's all."
In the intense stare that held her Faith began to see something new - embarrassment, even shame. He needed her to believe him, to let him off the hook, let the subject go. Faith looked away. Perhaps that was the best thing to do, for all concerned.
She began to nod. "OK. We won't say any more about it."
They sat in tense silence for some time before Faith finally summoned enough courage to ask: "You seeing O'malley again for a specific reason, or just general?"
Bosco took his time to answer. "General."
Faith nodded. "Anything you want to talk about?"
He gave her a long-suffering look.
"OK, what the hell is so bad about caring?" she snapped. "Don't you think there's something fundamentally screwed up with a society that thinks caring about others is for losers? You know, sometimes I think the crap we live with is exactly what we all deserve."
He looked a little surprised by her outburst. "I just don't need..."
"What about a friend, Bosco?"
In his minds eye Bosco saw her push him away, saw the look of disgust on her face. The lingering memory of the kiss they had shared made it all the more painful. It was some kiss. Long time since something like that had moved him, touched him that deeply.
A shoulder to cry on. Better than nothing...
The look he was giving her began to stir some discomforting memories of the fantasy her mind had built around him in the weeks she had spent as Manny's 'guest', her mind a jigsaw of meaningless imagery. But now when Bosco looked at her Faith could see wariness too, a caution she had never noticed before when he looked at her. It disturbed her.
"Whatever you tell me, if anything, stays between us, Bos. You have my word," she said.
The look on his face told her Bosco was trying not to dwell on all the times he had heard that and lived to regret believing the person who said it.
-----
TBC - ASSUME NOTHING!
AUTHOR: MINN
DISCLAIMER: I don't own nothin' - mores the pity - just playing. No character was really harmed during the typing of this nonsense. The creators of Third Watch are, of course, gods
CHEERS! to all the kind folks who said such nice things about my maiden outing "Grace", and about the follow-up-story-that-isn't-really, "The Replacement".
EXPLAINATION: This here tale gets into the nuts and bolts of how Gracie came to be. If you have no idea who Gracie is, it might pay you to have a wee looksee at my other stories "Grace" and "The Replacement", which basically lead up to this here offering.
FORGIVE ME!: Everything I write I can guarantee is the work of my own sick and twisted little mind - but if anything I write does resemble something that's gone before I can assure you it's pure coincidence - (hangs head in shame) because I don't actually READ much fic (sorry to all the wonderful authors on this site!) But have had occasion to catch up with a few stories recommended by others and have enjoyed them immensely. (Can I stop greasing now?) Also, if you see a phrase or a word that seems a bit odd it's because I'M FOREIGN!!! New Zealand English is a WHOLE different animal - but I've tried to be careful.
SOMETHING ELSE TO NOTE: Season Four of Third Watch hasn't started screening in New Zealand yet so I haven't actually seen the 'new improved' Fr*d or The Anti Cruz. I promise I will do rewrites the MINUTE I do get the opportunity to see them, but in the meantime I beg your collective indulgence on this - if these two characters sound a little "off" in this fic, don't worry - I'll fix the blighters eventually! And so on with the show...
********
THE ONE CONSTANT
Part 4
"Three words?"
Sully looked at Ty who grinned widely.
"I'll have a piece of this action," said Davis, reaching for the pen and the small pad Bosco held in his right hand.
"Can it be more than three words?" Sully asked.
"You hard of hearing, Sullivan? Three words you would use to describe me. That's all." Bosco noticed Ty was scribbling frantically. "Hey Davis, are you deaf as well? Three! Just three! What the hell are you writing?"
Grinning from ear to ear Davis ripped the piece of paper from the pad and jammed it into the envelope Bosco held in his left hand, passing the pen and pad onto Sully.
"What's this in aid of anyway?" Ty asked.
Bosco seemed less than keen to answer. "Something someone thought might help me."
Ty began to laugh. "Oh man, help you? You're letting people tell you, Maurice Boscorelli, what they think of you and you think that'll help you?"
"What? What are you trying to say Davis?"
Sully added his contribution to the envelope and handed Bosco the pad.
"You're either a bigger dumbass than you seem or a very brave man," he rumbled.
"My votes in for dumbass," Davis chuckled, heading off towards roll call.
Faith, who had been watching the exchange quietly from where she stood by her locker, wandered over to her partner.
"What's all this about Bos?"
He avoided her gaze, yet again, and eyed the floor. "O'malley thought I needed a bit of insight into how people see me."
"O'malley?" she said softly. "You're seeing O'malley again?"
"We're gonna be late for roll call," Bosco replied, moving off.
Faith followed, a touch of irritation niggling at her.
Bosco had barely stepped inside the door when others wishing to add their two cents worth detained him. Faith slid past them all and watched with growing concern the looks of delight on her colleague's faces as they scribbled words onto pieces of paper and gleefully handed them to her partner.
'This is gonna end in tears,' she thought. Or in Bosco's case, punches. Either way she was certain the phrase 'describe me in three words' was going to come back to haunt her.
"That's a really cruel thing he's doing."
Bosco's eyes never left the empty street ahead of him. "What is?"
Faith glared at him. The shift so far had been relatively dull and uneventful and they sat in a quiet back street waiting for calls.
"This three words thing," she said, barely able to keep the note of irritation from her voice.
Bosco shrugged. "Its called gaining insight, Faith."
"Insight." She shook her head.
"What? You think I can't handle finding out what people think of me?" His eyes met hers in an angry challenge.
"I just think it's a little cruel."
"Life's cruel, Faith. Get over it. Just promise me you're not going to call O'malley and give him a lecture, OK?"
"What?"
"Look, mommy, thanks for your concern, but if I'm ever gonna be a big boy I need you to let me do things by myself, OK?"
Faith stared at him. "You think I'm mothering you?"
"You've always mothered me Faith. Right from day one I've been your adopted third kid. And you know what? I'm a little tired of being treated like that."
For a moment Faith was lost for words. "Well how's about you grow up then?"
"How about you let me?" He shook the envelope at her. "Step one: see yourself as others see you. Takes courage. Not for the faint hearted. O'malley thinks it'll do me good. Maybe it will, maybe it's just bullshit, I dunno. One thing I do know, Faith - I already have a mom, I already have a shrink, so I don't need you doing either job, OK?"
Faith turned and stared straight ahead of her.
"Do I get a turn?"
"For what?"
"Do I get to add my 3 words?"
"Yours are already in there."
Her head snapped around. "I haven't..."
"Immature, unreliable, useless. Remember?"
"I didn't mean those things..."
"Yeah you did."
"Dammit Bosco!" she exclaimed.
"This is what I've figured out about people Faith - whatever someone says when they're angry or upset or drunk is probably a damn sight closer to the truth than anything they say when they're not."
Faith moved to protest but he cut her off.
"When the inhibitions are down all the polite crap goes out the window and what you have left is the pure, unedited, unbridled truth of what that person thinks and feels. Sad but true. You meant those things Faith, and if that's how you see me, fine, I can live with that. Just have the guts to own it."
She stared at him. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Pushing me away."
"I'm not pushing you away."
"You are."
"You're my partner Faith. We work together. That's all. You don't need to know everything about me and I don't need to know everything about you."
"So shutting me out is being all grown up?" she demanded.
"I'm not shutting you out Faith," Bosco replied evenly.
"You've kept me at arms length from the day I came back after..." Faith let the sentence die on her lips.
He was staring fixedly at the street in front of him.
"Bos, we need to talk about this," she said softly.
"About what?"
"About what happened the day I got my memory back."
Bosco shook his head. "We don't need to go there Faith."
"I think we do."
"I don't."
"Oh, so we go on pretending it never happened?"
"Works for me," he muttered.
"Well it doesn't work for me, Bosco!" she all but shouted.
"YOU kissed ME Faith!"
"I didn't know who...I thought you were...my mind was a mess!" she snapped. "And you weren't exactly fighting me off, were you?"
"So shoot me! I was glad to see you, I thought you were glad to see me."
"Why would you think that?"
He fidgeted. "So it's all my fault?"
"I'm not looking to blame you, Bosco. I just want you to be honest with me."
His full intensity stare speared her. "Honest? About what?" he asked accusingly. "What do you think you know Faith?"
She tried not to look away. "The way you kissed me..."
"I was pleased to see you Faith, I thought you were pleased to see me. I had no idea you didn't know who I was - I should have guessed, I know." He started to mumble and scramble for words. "I'm sorry, OK? I don't think before I act sometimes, you know that...you're always telling me that. I was just pleased to see you again...that's all."
In the intense stare that held her Faith began to see something new - embarrassment, even shame. He needed her to believe him, to let him off the hook, let the subject go. Faith looked away. Perhaps that was the best thing to do, for all concerned.
She began to nod. "OK. We won't say any more about it."
They sat in tense silence for some time before Faith finally summoned enough courage to ask: "You seeing O'malley again for a specific reason, or just general?"
Bosco took his time to answer. "General."
Faith nodded. "Anything you want to talk about?"
He gave her a long-suffering look.
"OK, what the hell is so bad about caring?" she snapped. "Don't you think there's something fundamentally screwed up with a society that thinks caring about others is for losers? You know, sometimes I think the crap we live with is exactly what we all deserve."
He looked a little surprised by her outburst. "I just don't need..."
"What about a friend, Bosco?"
In his minds eye Bosco saw her push him away, saw the look of disgust on her face. The lingering memory of the kiss they had shared made it all the more painful. It was some kiss. Long time since something like that had moved him, touched him that deeply.
A shoulder to cry on. Better than nothing...
The look he was giving her began to stir some discomforting memories of the fantasy her mind had built around him in the weeks she had spent as Manny's 'guest', her mind a jigsaw of meaningless imagery. But now when Bosco looked at her Faith could see wariness too, a caution she had never noticed before when he looked at her. It disturbed her.
"Whatever you tell me, if anything, stays between us, Bos. You have my word," she said.
The look on his face told her Bosco was trying not to dwell on all the times he had heard that and lived to regret believing the person who said it.
-----
TBC - ASSUME NOTHING!