TITLE: THE ONE CONSTANT
AUTHOR: MINN
DISCLAIMER: I STILL don't own nothin' - mores the pity - just playing. No character was really harmed during the typing of this nonsense. The creators of Third Watch are, of course, gods. And so are the actors who portray the characters!
I'M STILL foreign, so cut me some slack if I use a phrase or two that don't make no sense.
GREETINGS and huge thanx to Angie, Helena, Juls, DreamLoveBreathe (I know, I keep saying it...), Winterwolf (rough waters? You ain't seen nothin' yet!), Lifesaver55 (I'll try not to hang you all too much!), Kate Anderson (glad the toe is well on the mend, babe), Ljae, Deliani, Meeko (welcome to the troops and wow! Thank you so much too!) and mauriceboscorelli (trust your Aunty Minn, precious!) for taking the time to review so kindly - please forgive me if I've missed anyone. And to everyone else who's enjoying this as much as I am writing it - Cheers!!
FORGIVE ME! This might be the last instalment in this little epic til after 22nd Feb as I'm going to be away *grovels pathetically* Promise, the minute I'm back I'll be right back into it...meantime, I'd say enjoy this next bit, but I'm pickin' you won't...*ahem*
-----
THE ONE CONSTANT
Part 15
Isabelle watched as Faith leaned forward, tears glistening in her beautiful eyes. She reached out to her daughter and Gracie smiled with delight at being paid some attention, seizing her mother's index finger in her little hand as she chuckled happily.
"I'll never know for sure I guess," Faith said softly, "but I can't shake the feeling...that last time with Bos...I think that may have been when I conceived our daughter."
"Oh Faith," Isabelle murmured, resting a comforting hand upon Faith's shoulder.
"You don't have to go on if you'd rather not."
Gazing into her daughter's stunning blue eyes, Faith was struck once more by the intensity of the little girl's gaze and what a mirror reflection of her father's it was.
"It's OK, Isabelle," she murmured. "I've gotten this far..."
-----
The first couple of weeks after the end of their affair were awkward, but not overwhelmingly unpleasant. She and Bosco did not work together but remained on the same shift, exchanging pleasantries as they passed in the corridor, or the locker room, or in role call.
Bosco seemed sad more than angry, a fact that did not make the situation any easier for Faith. His subdued demeanour also did not go unnoticed by their colleagues, who derived great sport from ribbing him about being dumped by a stripper. With uncharacteristic maturity Bosco took it all in his stride, and when they realised they were not going to get a bite out of him, the others left him alone.
One evening after the shift was over Faith found herself alone with Bosco in the locker room.
He seemed to have every intention of leaving at first, but he hesitated as he passed her locker. Approaching her slowly, Bosco watched her in awkward silence for some moments.
"Everything OK with you?" he asked quietly.
Faith let her eyes meet his and felt her breath catch slightly in her throat. "They're good, thanks. You?" She looked away.
He shrugged. "OK, I guess."
He watched her some more. Faith felt self-conscious, sure he could sense her growing distress. When he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper.
"I miss you, Faith..."
"Don't..." she murmured, refusing to meet his eyes again. After a while she heard him silently walk away.
The pain at having to call an end to something that had brought her so much happiness was the biggest obstacle Faith faced. Seeming to sense that, Fred continued to be unwaveringly thoughtful, patient and understanding. His efforts certainly went a long way to smoothing the path, but Faith had to admit that her biggest reward from it all was that Charlie continued to flourish in the atmosphere of renewed commitment between them.
As Faith focused her energies on rebuilding her marriage and as the distance between her and her husband began to close, the gulf between she and Bosco increased.
As the weeks passed Faith quietly noted a growing air of tense, almost sullen preoccupation about Bosco. On one particular day he arrived just after role call, clearly upset, edgy and distant as if something weighed ferociously upon his mind.
Faith watched with growing distress in the weeks that followed as Bosco's moods darkened. His attitudes began to demonstrate a new air of cold, unfeeling harshness she had not struck in him before.
But as much as Faith longed to talk to him about what was going on in his world, something of greater import had begun to occupy her own mind.
It was little more than a small inkling at first; one Faith desperately wished would go away. But as physical signs began to make their presence felt in her life, the inkling became a suspicion and finally a reluctant admission. The positive taunting her from the pregnancy testing kit confirmed her fears and plunged Faith headlong into her own little world of intense self-absorption.
Uppermost in Faith's mind was the worry that the child she carried was not a product of the resumption of relations between she and Fred that had occurred almost immediately after her decision to stay in their marriage. The first scan she had did nothing to allay her fears. It only confirmed that the foetus was old enough to be the result of one of her last encounters with Bosco or of one of her first with Fred.
Faith could not bring herself to face the possibility of another abortion, her continuing feelings of guilt for what she had already put Fred through laying that notion firmly to rest. But she found herself once again far from convinced that bringing another child into the world was the best or most sensible thing to do, and her feelings of ambivalence kept her from sharing her news with anyone until her first trimester was behind her.
Her inner struggles over whether to be honest with her husband about issues of paternity were quickly swept aside by yet another health scare involving Fred.
Sitting beside her husband's hospital bed reliving the nightmare possibility of losing him once again, Faith came to a decision from which she knew there would be no turning back.
The look of absolute delight on Fred's face when she gently broke the news to him uplifted her, if only for a moment.
"You're having our baby?"
With barely a pause to question the righteousness of what she was about to do, Faith nodded. "If that's what you want..."
"If? My god, Faith, you have to ask?" Despite his weak state Fred drew her to him and hugged her as if she had given him his life back.
It never seemed to occur to Fred that the child might not be his. If it did, he consciously chose to keep those doubts to himself.
Faith's growing reluctance to shatter the illusion they both chose to live in for the sake of her husband's health meant she endured her own doubts and fears in lonely silence.
But it was events at work that well and truly buried any thoughts of bringing the question of the baby's paternity out into the open.
There was clearly something troubling Bosco, something that engendered in him a new and disturbing harshness of character Faith found difficult to cope with. She was not alone. Few of their colleagues were willing to work with him at all such was his almost permanent ill-humour and growing aggressiveness.
When Bosco failed to show for the shift one busy Friday afternoon Swersky questioned Faith on his likely whereabouts. But she was unable to shed any light on the matter and neither, it transpired, could anyone else.
She had to resist the temptation to phone Bosco on the weekend, just to satisfy herself that all was well.
The Monday shift came and went with no sign of him. No one had heard from him, no one had seen him at all. But rumours had begun to circulate that he and his brother Mikey were in some kind of trouble.
He arrived Tuesday just after role call had finished. Faith could see a haunted, almost wild-eyed look about him that told her instantly there was something very wrong in Bosco's world.
Faith lingered around and listened as Swersky read Bosco the riot act for his no-shows, but it all seemed to be water off a duck's back to Bosco. He stared wordlessly at the lieutenant and offered up barely a murmur of explanation.
Bosco ignored Faith as he passed her and headed for the locker room. She moved to follow him but Swerskey stopped her and ordered her out on her beat.
It was as if something inside Bosco had snapped. He went out of his way to avoid or ignore Faith and began collecting warnings for various breeches of conduct like they were badges of merit. Not long after, Swersky advised their watch that Bosco had switched shifts and was now the problem of those on the later watch.
Faith couldn't bear not knowing. Going against all logic that told her to leave well enough alone she called his home number on a regular basis, fruitlessly running up against his answer machine every time. She left messages but he did not respond.
The problems continued.
Faith turned up for work one afternoon to hear that Bosco had been arrested for punching a colleague on the weekend, having been involved in a drunken brawl at a bar Faith knew Mikey frequented.
"Seems he took exception to the way Ken Harris was dealing with his brother," Faith heard Sully telling Ty.
"And what? He punched him out?"
Sully nodded. "Stupid little son of a bitch. I always said he wasn't all there up top."
"Love to know what's goin' on in that head of his," Ty murmured.
"Harris being the big cream puff he is decided not to press charges," Sully grouched unsympathetically. "Id've kicked his ass."
"Who Harris or Bosco?"
"Both."
Having had no luck in raising him by phone, Faith purposely stayed back late from her shift one night to catch Bosco as he arrived for his.
The look on his face when he saw her there waiting disturbed her. More worrying still was the strong smell of alcohol on his breath.
"I've been calling you," she said as he approached his locker.
"I've been busy," he growled.
"What? You couldn't take five minutes to call me back?" Faith said, unable to mask the hurt in her voice.
He shrugged.
Bos?" Faith stepped closer. "Bos please. Talk to me..."
Angrily slamming the locker shut, Bosco turned on her.
"What the HELL do you care?" he exploded, his voice ringing through the locker room and beyond, bringing everyone and everything to a tense standstill.
"I was worried..."
"You're NOT my goddamn mother, Faith!" The intensity of his anger was such that it made her take a step or two backwards. "You're not even my partner any more, so why don't you just get the hell off my case?!"
Faith could do little else but stare at him in astonished silence, stunned by the venom in his words and in his attitude towards her.
"What?" he demanded.
"Why are you doing this?" she murmured. Please don't do this to me, the voice in her head whimpered. I'm...you might be my baby's...
"Doing WHAT, Faith?" Bosco snapped sourly, glaring at her as if she were nothing more than an interfering stranger. "I don't need you checkin' up on me, alright?"
"Bos..."
He exploded. "STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME FAITH!"
She stared at him, appalled. Feeling her throat tighten painfully she turned and walked quickly away.
She wanted to be angry with him but instead Faith found herself outside, shaking and on the verge of tears, blaming herself for what she could clearly see was a look of despair in Bosco's eyes. For whatever reason he had felt the need to warn her away from his life and a growing sense of anxiousness began to gnaw at her. Something was going on. Something he did not want to involve her in.
Continued reports of Bosco's indiscretions became an almost daily feature of talk at the House. Rumours began to fly about the Boscorelli brother's involvement in certain shady dealings and about internal police investigations into Bosco's activities and associates.
The speculation about what had finally sent Bosco off the rails Faith found particularly tormenting.
Faith could do nothing but listen in silent anguish to stories of Bosco's ongoing tardiness and growing propensity for turning up to work not drunk but very close to it, actions that brought him perilously close to dismissal. She heard the rumblings that questions were being asked about Bosco's mental stability and how doubts were being raised at top levels about his suitability to remain on the force.
Her attempts to defend him fell on deaf ears, Sully even going as far as to tell her to her face: "C'mon Faith, who are you kidding? Bosco's always been one step away from the other side and you know it."
"You don't know him like I do, Sully."
"You're too kind-hearted Faith. If you ask me, Bosco's just showing his true colours," Sully growled. "He's no good Faith. Never has been. Just like the rest of his family."
The look of despair she had glimpsed in Bosco's eyes that night in the locker room continued to haunt her. It was a look that told her he felt the self-destructive path he had chosen was his last and only choice remaining.
Another arrest for being the main instigator of a particularly brutal drunken brawl had Faith beginning to question her ongoing loyalty to her former lover.
She knew something was up the minute she saw Ty and Sully in a huddle with several other colleagues in the corridor outside the role call room.
"Did you hear?" Ty asked as she approached the group.
"Hear what?"
"About Bosco," Sully snorted.
Faith blanched at the 'I told you so' tone in Sully's voice and she felt her body go rigid with dread. "What about him?"
"Seems the stupid bastard's pulled one too many stunts this time," Sully growled.
Ty nudged his partner disapprovingly as he noted the look of anguish in Faith's eyes.
"They've kicked him out Faith," Ty said quietly. "Bosco's been fired."
-----
TBC - Well, if you think the rapids have been bad...ever seen The Perfect Storm?
AUTHOR: MINN
DISCLAIMER: I STILL don't own nothin' - mores the pity - just playing. No character was really harmed during the typing of this nonsense. The creators of Third Watch are, of course, gods. And so are the actors who portray the characters!
I'M STILL foreign, so cut me some slack if I use a phrase or two that don't make no sense.
GREETINGS and huge thanx to Angie, Helena, Juls, DreamLoveBreathe (I know, I keep saying it...), Winterwolf (rough waters? You ain't seen nothin' yet!), Lifesaver55 (I'll try not to hang you all too much!), Kate Anderson (glad the toe is well on the mend, babe), Ljae, Deliani, Meeko (welcome to the troops and wow! Thank you so much too!) and mauriceboscorelli (trust your Aunty Minn, precious!) for taking the time to review so kindly - please forgive me if I've missed anyone. And to everyone else who's enjoying this as much as I am writing it - Cheers!!
FORGIVE ME! This might be the last instalment in this little epic til after 22nd Feb as I'm going to be away *grovels pathetically* Promise, the minute I'm back I'll be right back into it...meantime, I'd say enjoy this next bit, but I'm pickin' you won't...*ahem*
-----
THE ONE CONSTANT
Part 15
Isabelle watched as Faith leaned forward, tears glistening in her beautiful eyes. She reached out to her daughter and Gracie smiled with delight at being paid some attention, seizing her mother's index finger in her little hand as she chuckled happily.
"I'll never know for sure I guess," Faith said softly, "but I can't shake the feeling...that last time with Bos...I think that may have been when I conceived our daughter."
"Oh Faith," Isabelle murmured, resting a comforting hand upon Faith's shoulder.
"You don't have to go on if you'd rather not."
Gazing into her daughter's stunning blue eyes, Faith was struck once more by the intensity of the little girl's gaze and what a mirror reflection of her father's it was.
"It's OK, Isabelle," she murmured. "I've gotten this far..."
-----
The first couple of weeks after the end of their affair were awkward, but not overwhelmingly unpleasant. She and Bosco did not work together but remained on the same shift, exchanging pleasantries as they passed in the corridor, or the locker room, or in role call.
Bosco seemed sad more than angry, a fact that did not make the situation any easier for Faith. His subdued demeanour also did not go unnoticed by their colleagues, who derived great sport from ribbing him about being dumped by a stripper. With uncharacteristic maturity Bosco took it all in his stride, and when they realised they were not going to get a bite out of him, the others left him alone.
One evening after the shift was over Faith found herself alone with Bosco in the locker room.
He seemed to have every intention of leaving at first, but he hesitated as he passed her locker. Approaching her slowly, Bosco watched her in awkward silence for some moments.
"Everything OK with you?" he asked quietly.
Faith let her eyes meet his and felt her breath catch slightly in her throat. "They're good, thanks. You?" She looked away.
He shrugged. "OK, I guess."
He watched her some more. Faith felt self-conscious, sure he could sense her growing distress. When he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper.
"I miss you, Faith..."
"Don't..." she murmured, refusing to meet his eyes again. After a while she heard him silently walk away.
The pain at having to call an end to something that had brought her so much happiness was the biggest obstacle Faith faced. Seeming to sense that, Fred continued to be unwaveringly thoughtful, patient and understanding. His efforts certainly went a long way to smoothing the path, but Faith had to admit that her biggest reward from it all was that Charlie continued to flourish in the atmosphere of renewed commitment between them.
As Faith focused her energies on rebuilding her marriage and as the distance between her and her husband began to close, the gulf between she and Bosco increased.
As the weeks passed Faith quietly noted a growing air of tense, almost sullen preoccupation about Bosco. On one particular day he arrived just after role call, clearly upset, edgy and distant as if something weighed ferociously upon his mind.
Faith watched with growing distress in the weeks that followed as Bosco's moods darkened. His attitudes began to demonstrate a new air of cold, unfeeling harshness she had not struck in him before.
But as much as Faith longed to talk to him about what was going on in his world, something of greater import had begun to occupy her own mind.
It was little more than a small inkling at first; one Faith desperately wished would go away. But as physical signs began to make their presence felt in her life, the inkling became a suspicion and finally a reluctant admission. The positive taunting her from the pregnancy testing kit confirmed her fears and plunged Faith headlong into her own little world of intense self-absorption.
Uppermost in Faith's mind was the worry that the child she carried was not a product of the resumption of relations between she and Fred that had occurred almost immediately after her decision to stay in their marriage. The first scan she had did nothing to allay her fears. It only confirmed that the foetus was old enough to be the result of one of her last encounters with Bosco or of one of her first with Fred.
Faith could not bring herself to face the possibility of another abortion, her continuing feelings of guilt for what she had already put Fred through laying that notion firmly to rest. But she found herself once again far from convinced that bringing another child into the world was the best or most sensible thing to do, and her feelings of ambivalence kept her from sharing her news with anyone until her first trimester was behind her.
Her inner struggles over whether to be honest with her husband about issues of paternity were quickly swept aside by yet another health scare involving Fred.
Sitting beside her husband's hospital bed reliving the nightmare possibility of losing him once again, Faith came to a decision from which she knew there would be no turning back.
The look of absolute delight on Fred's face when she gently broke the news to him uplifted her, if only for a moment.
"You're having our baby?"
With barely a pause to question the righteousness of what she was about to do, Faith nodded. "If that's what you want..."
"If? My god, Faith, you have to ask?" Despite his weak state Fred drew her to him and hugged her as if she had given him his life back.
It never seemed to occur to Fred that the child might not be his. If it did, he consciously chose to keep those doubts to himself.
Faith's growing reluctance to shatter the illusion they both chose to live in for the sake of her husband's health meant she endured her own doubts and fears in lonely silence.
But it was events at work that well and truly buried any thoughts of bringing the question of the baby's paternity out into the open.
There was clearly something troubling Bosco, something that engendered in him a new and disturbing harshness of character Faith found difficult to cope with. She was not alone. Few of their colleagues were willing to work with him at all such was his almost permanent ill-humour and growing aggressiveness.
When Bosco failed to show for the shift one busy Friday afternoon Swersky questioned Faith on his likely whereabouts. But she was unable to shed any light on the matter and neither, it transpired, could anyone else.
She had to resist the temptation to phone Bosco on the weekend, just to satisfy herself that all was well.
The Monday shift came and went with no sign of him. No one had heard from him, no one had seen him at all. But rumours had begun to circulate that he and his brother Mikey were in some kind of trouble.
He arrived Tuesday just after role call had finished. Faith could see a haunted, almost wild-eyed look about him that told her instantly there was something very wrong in Bosco's world.
Faith lingered around and listened as Swersky read Bosco the riot act for his no-shows, but it all seemed to be water off a duck's back to Bosco. He stared wordlessly at the lieutenant and offered up barely a murmur of explanation.
Bosco ignored Faith as he passed her and headed for the locker room. She moved to follow him but Swerskey stopped her and ordered her out on her beat.
It was as if something inside Bosco had snapped. He went out of his way to avoid or ignore Faith and began collecting warnings for various breeches of conduct like they were badges of merit. Not long after, Swersky advised their watch that Bosco had switched shifts and was now the problem of those on the later watch.
Faith couldn't bear not knowing. Going against all logic that told her to leave well enough alone she called his home number on a regular basis, fruitlessly running up against his answer machine every time. She left messages but he did not respond.
The problems continued.
Faith turned up for work one afternoon to hear that Bosco had been arrested for punching a colleague on the weekend, having been involved in a drunken brawl at a bar Faith knew Mikey frequented.
"Seems he took exception to the way Ken Harris was dealing with his brother," Faith heard Sully telling Ty.
"And what? He punched him out?"
Sully nodded. "Stupid little son of a bitch. I always said he wasn't all there up top."
"Love to know what's goin' on in that head of his," Ty murmured.
"Harris being the big cream puff he is decided not to press charges," Sully grouched unsympathetically. "Id've kicked his ass."
"Who Harris or Bosco?"
"Both."
Having had no luck in raising him by phone, Faith purposely stayed back late from her shift one night to catch Bosco as he arrived for his.
The look on his face when he saw her there waiting disturbed her. More worrying still was the strong smell of alcohol on his breath.
"I've been calling you," she said as he approached his locker.
"I've been busy," he growled.
"What? You couldn't take five minutes to call me back?" Faith said, unable to mask the hurt in her voice.
He shrugged.
Bos?" Faith stepped closer. "Bos please. Talk to me..."
Angrily slamming the locker shut, Bosco turned on her.
"What the HELL do you care?" he exploded, his voice ringing through the locker room and beyond, bringing everyone and everything to a tense standstill.
"I was worried..."
"You're NOT my goddamn mother, Faith!" The intensity of his anger was such that it made her take a step or two backwards. "You're not even my partner any more, so why don't you just get the hell off my case?!"
Faith could do little else but stare at him in astonished silence, stunned by the venom in his words and in his attitude towards her.
"What?" he demanded.
"Why are you doing this?" she murmured. Please don't do this to me, the voice in her head whimpered. I'm...you might be my baby's...
"Doing WHAT, Faith?" Bosco snapped sourly, glaring at her as if she were nothing more than an interfering stranger. "I don't need you checkin' up on me, alright?"
"Bos..."
He exploded. "STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME FAITH!"
She stared at him, appalled. Feeling her throat tighten painfully she turned and walked quickly away.
She wanted to be angry with him but instead Faith found herself outside, shaking and on the verge of tears, blaming herself for what she could clearly see was a look of despair in Bosco's eyes. For whatever reason he had felt the need to warn her away from his life and a growing sense of anxiousness began to gnaw at her. Something was going on. Something he did not want to involve her in.
Continued reports of Bosco's indiscretions became an almost daily feature of talk at the House. Rumours began to fly about the Boscorelli brother's involvement in certain shady dealings and about internal police investigations into Bosco's activities and associates.
The speculation about what had finally sent Bosco off the rails Faith found particularly tormenting.
Faith could do nothing but listen in silent anguish to stories of Bosco's ongoing tardiness and growing propensity for turning up to work not drunk but very close to it, actions that brought him perilously close to dismissal. She heard the rumblings that questions were being asked about Bosco's mental stability and how doubts were being raised at top levels about his suitability to remain on the force.
Her attempts to defend him fell on deaf ears, Sully even going as far as to tell her to her face: "C'mon Faith, who are you kidding? Bosco's always been one step away from the other side and you know it."
"You don't know him like I do, Sully."
"You're too kind-hearted Faith. If you ask me, Bosco's just showing his true colours," Sully growled. "He's no good Faith. Never has been. Just like the rest of his family."
The look of despair she had glimpsed in Bosco's eyes that night in the locker room continued to haunt her. It was a look that told her he felt the self-destructive path he had chosen was his last and only choice remaining.
Another arrest for being the main instigator of a particularly brutal drunken brawl had Faith beginning to question her ongoing loyalty to her former lover.
She knew something was up the minute she saw Ty and Sully in a huddle with several other colleagues in the corridor outside the role call room.
"Did you hear?" Ty asked as she approached the group.
"Hear what?"
"About Bosco," Sully snorted.
Faith blanched at the 'I told you so' tone in Sully's voice and she felt her body go rigid with dread. "What about him?"
"Seems the stupid bastard's pulled one too many stunts this time," Sully growled.
Ty nudged his partner disapprovingly as he noted the look of anguish in Faith's eyes.
"They've kicked him out Faith," Ty said quietly. "Bosco's been fired."
-----
TBC - Well, if you think the rapids have been bad...ever seen The Perfect Storm?