TITLE: The One Constant
AUTHOR: Minn
DISCLAIMER: Wells/Chulack/Bernero et al are the rightful owners of Third Watch - God Bless You! I am merely borrowing and intend no disrespect or harm. None of us do. This is fun. No character was actually harmed in the typing of this nonsense. Nothing I say or do will probably ever make a blind bit of difference to what happens on the screen - dammit!
I'M FOREIGN! If you don't understand anything, it'll be 'cos I'm using a uniquely Kiwi expression, something I do try to avoid, but hell, t'ain't easy!
MY MOST HUMBLEST OF THANX: to all the folks who took the time and effort to review this wee effort: Kim1989, mauriceboscorelli, Lynn, Angie, Patty, Hard as nails, Jessssss, Maartje, Amy, Martina, Paisley, sss, ACNutz13, Kerrip-43, Kellycas, Junglegirl, Michelle (cheers!), Carmel (a non-Third Watcher who braved new waters and came out alive!), Helena, Jazz, and FaithYokas101. Cheers guys, glad to have you along for the ride. And my apologies if I've missed anyone!
A SQUILLION, MILLION APOLOGIES for the length of time this has taken! I swear, I wasn't trying to torture anyone!
---
THE ONE CONSTANT
Part 31
"So is she gonna be alright?"
Bosco gazed down at his little girl and softly stroked her hair as she dozed. His brow furrowed at the sight of the small frown that drifted across her face.
It wasn't like Gracie to frown at his touch.
"She's had an infection, Rose - it sometimes happens with bullet wounds. But they think she's over the worst."
"They 'think'?" he heard Faith's mother say. Beside him, Bosco felt Faith shift around uncomfortably.
"Are they doin' anythin' about it?"
Bosco cringed inwardly. It's a hospital, ma, he thought sourly, but kept his silence.
"It's a hospital Rose," Faith said stiffly, "'course they're doin' somethin' about it."
He was sure Faith didn't mean to sound as waspish as she did but worry and its attendant lack of sleep had wound them both as tight as a spring.
"A bullet went through her leg, for crying out loud," Mrs Mitchell said tersely.
"Now tell me somethin' I don't know," Rose replied snippily. "It nicked the femoral artery, ain't that right Maurice? She could've bled to death if the paramedics hadn't been there..."
"The surgeon told us that sometimes there's long term kidney damage in these cases," Faith said suddenly, in a voice that told them all she needed to share the burden. "'Cos of the blood loss. Sometimes even brain damage..."
Stunned silence reigned for a moment. The only other person that knew what the surgeon had confronted them with was Isabelle.
"Oh Faith..." her mother murmured.
"...but 'cos she got immediate medical attention when it happened the chances are she's OK," Faith said quickly as Bosco reached for her hand. "And things are looking good as far as her kidneys are concerned..."
"What about the...?" Rose made a vague gesture with her hand, as if saying the words were too much for her.
"They think she's gonna be fine..."
"They 'think'," Mrs Mitchell murmured again with some disapproval.
"She's gonna be fine," Faith insisted, but there was a distressing waver in her voice. She felt Bosco squeeze her hand.
Bosco gazed fixedly at their daughter, his mind blunt and heavy with worry and fatigue. Gracie was...different. Fervently they both hoped it was the trauma of it all, the pain, the medication, and the lingering affects of the anaesthesia that had dulled the bright spark that was Gracie. But at the back of their minds lurked that shadow - the possibility their little girl was changed forever.
For the first time in a while Bosco felt the nagging urge to drown his sorrows in something soothingly alcoholic.
"Maurice you look exhausted," Rose observed suddenly. "You both do. Why don't you go home, get some..."
"I'm not leavin' her ma," Bosco said stiffly, his gaze focused firmly on his daughter.
"Faith, when was the last time you ate?" Mrs Mitchell inquired of her daughter.
"Isabelle's lookin' after us."
At this, Faith's mother seemed to tense. "Good for Isabelle," she murmured, somewhat caustically.
Rose turned and fixed her with a steely gaze. Bosco felt Faith nudge him.
"What are you looking at?" Mrs Mitchell asked tersely.
"I'm tryin' to figure that out," came the stiff reply.
"Ma..." Bosco intoned.
Mrs Mitchell drew herself up and returned Rose's contemptuous stare in kind. "Is there something you wanna say to me?"
"Well yeah, now you mention it...how's about 'if it wasn't for Isabelle, god KNOWS where my grand daughter mighta ended up'."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Mrs Mitchell demanded.
"You kicked your own daughter into the street, for chrissake!" Rose exclaimed. "What kinda mother does that to her own daughter and baby grand daughter?"
"Bos, don't," Faith murmured as he rose and moved to where the protagonists stood eyeing each other like a couple of cats about to scrap.
"I hardly think you're qualified to give me a lecture on...hey!"
Faith watched the look of consternation and astonishment that flitted across her mother's face as Bosco took her firmly by the arm.
"Maurice, what're you doin'?" Rose demanded as she found herself similarly gripped.
Without a word Bosco guided the women out of the ward and escorted them to the elevator. He waited in angry silence, ignoring their protests, pleas and apologies until the doors of the elevator slid open. Without a word he propelled both mothers firmly inside, then turned and stalked lividly away.
Faith watched Bosco's return silently.
"What was that?" she asked quietly as he resettled himself back in the chair he had made his own for the past couple of days.
"This is tough enough without having to listen to those two sniping at each other," he murmured.
Faith regarded him quietly for a moment. "Wonder what would happen if our fathers ever met."
She saw him flick her a cheeky glance.
"My father'd beat the crap outta yours..."
"Sure he would, Boscorelli," Faith murmured. After a small pause she continued. "You know, we should get them down here, test that little theory out..."
A small smirk played briefly on Bosco's lips. "Life was simpler when our parents hated us and didn't wanna have anything to do with us."
"Actually, I think my father still does hate us," Faith observed coolly.
"And I don't even know where the hell mine is, so..." Bosco shrugged.
Faith watched him stare at their little girl, saw his face set grimly. She reached for his hand and felt him clutch hers tightly.
"She's gonna be fine, Bos," Faith murmured softly.
He didn't respond immediately, just sat staring pensively at his daughter. When he finally spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper.
"There's somethin' wrong, Faith. She's...different..."
"Gracie's a very sick little girl, Bosco," Faith said quickly. "She's been through hell."
"She didn't smile at us when she woke up," he said in a small voice. "She looked at us like she'd never seen either of us before in her life."
He reached out and stroked Gracie's cheek. Yet again a frown drifted across her grim little face.
"Bos, listen to me," Faith said, gazing intently into her partner's eyes as he turned to face her. "Gracie's always been healthy - that's what you're used to seeing. You've never had the experience of worrying about sick kids before. But just because Gracie's different at the moment doesn't mean she's changed forever."
He nodded wearily, and returned his gaze to where Gracie lay, all bandages and IV tubes and grim faced misery.
"I can't believe how tough this is," he murmured, somewhat sheepishly.
"What is?"
"Parenthood," he muttered.
Faith nodded and leaned closer. "They don't ever tell you how tough it's gonna be."
"If they did the human race would soon die out," Bosco grumbled. "No one would do this if they knew...would they?"
Faith allowed herself the luxury of a small chuckle. "Truth - the ultimate contraceptive."
Bosco smiled, but it was only a brief respite from the look of concern that dogged his expression. "Does it get any easier?"
Faith shook her head. "Watching your kids hurt never gets any easier," she said quietly. "It's always unbearable."
"Not helping, Faith," he murmured.
"I just think you need to know what you're in for," she replied.
Bosco couldn't miss the small note of challenge in her tone. He turned and searched her eyes for a moment. "You still have your doubts about me, don't you Faith?"
Faith returned his gaze evenly. "I have doubts about everything, Bos - you, me, our ability to be good parents. Right now I just wanna run away and not have to deal with all this..."
Bosco looked away and nodded. "I was thinkin' the same thing a while back..."
Faith watched him. "The old Bosco would be thinkin' about drownin' his sorrows."
He flicked a glance her way and sat in meditative silence for a while. "The new Bosco's thinkin' that too," he murmured sheepishly.
To his surprise he felt her draw closer and warmly run her hand across his shoulders. "Please don't," she whispered.
"I won't," he said softly, turning to fix his eyes on hers as he shrugged. "Old habits..."
She nodded. "I like the fact that you were honest with me about it. That means a lot."
His face brightened. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Faith felt him slip his arm warmly around her waist.
"It's gonna be OK," he murmured softly. "You'll see."
Faith couldn't help but feel that Bosco was as much trying to reassure himself as he was her.
---
"How was school?"
Charlie shrugged. "OK," he answered. His tone and his description, however, were hardly a matching pair.
Faith watched her son carefully as he gazed at Bosco sitting quietly and attentively by Gracie's bedside.
Their little girl was still fighting the last vestiges of the infection and her coping strategy was to sleep. But when she wasn't sleeping she was grizzling. Gracie was like a stranger to them.
"Is she doing OK?" Charlie asked of Bosco as he ventured over slowly to where he sat.
Faith saw Bosco flick a brief, querying glance her way before responding.
"She's a fighter," Bosco replied quietly, a small, tentative smile hovering on his lips. "Like her mom."
Charlie nodded and stood awkwardly by Bosco's side, staring at his little sister. After some time he spoke again. "She's lucky to have you around."
Bosco looked up at Charlie, his eyes questioning. When Charlie refused to look directly at him, Bosco's gaze drifted slowly Faith's way.
"Charlie? Is everything OK?" Faith asked.
"Sure," was the reply.
Faith frowned slightly. "Isabelle said she'd be a little late but that she'll take you to soccer practice today," she said. "That OK?"
Faith and Bosco exchanged another glance when Charlie responded with a shrug.
"Would you rather I take you?" Faith asked.
"No. It's OK,' Charlie responded wistfully. "I know you wanna be here with Gracie."
Bosco looked up and for a moment Charlie met his gaze. Something about the look Faith's son gave him stirred some uncomfortable memories.
Bosco watched as Faith approached her son and placed her hands upon his shoulders.
"Gracie'll be fine here with Bos and Isabelle," she said. "I'll take you to soccer practice, OK?"
Charlie nodded but he was hardly jumping for joy.
Bosco knew the look Charlie had given him all too well and it ruffled the muddy waters of his own childhood memories. With great reluctance Bosco recalled all the times when the one thing he had wanted most in the world was to spend some time with his father - and to have his father want to spend time with him.
It was a hunger even the most loving of mothers couldn't feed.
For Charlie the hunger was one that could never be satisfied. He would never again have the opportunity to even so much as exchange a word of greeting with his father. Bosco couldn't figure out which was the greater wound - enduring an indifferent, abusive father or losing one as beloved as Fred had been. All Bosco really knew was that, to some extent at least, he understood Charlie's pain on a level Faith simply couldn't relate to.
Isabelle arrived, chatting animatedly with Gracie's nurse. Anna was an angel from on high, a former pupil of Isabelle's who had gone out of her way to give them all the VIP treatment from the moment Gracie had been transferred from the PICU to the paediatric ward.
"Anna here tells me Gracie's making a steady improvement," Isabelle smiled.
"She seems to be doin' better," Faith observed though worry still plagued her expression.
"You all set Charlie?" Isabelle asked.
"Mom said she'll take me to soccer," Charlie said.
"You sure Faith?" Isabelle inquired. "It's no trouble."
Bosco saw Charlie glance his way again.
"It's fine, Iz. Gracie's doin' good and Bos'll be here..."
Bosco looked down at his little girl. She was dozing; a small frown was etched on her brow as had become the norm, especially whenever there was noise or activity around her. But Faith was right. Gracie was out of immediate danger...
He rose stiffly from what had become his accustomed place, leaned forward and touched his lips to Gracie's forehead. She flinched and screwed her face up and his heart broke yet again. 'Come back, Gracie,' he said silently as he reluctantly left her side.
"Faith," he called as his partner and her son made their way out. "I'll take Charlie to soccer."
Faith's expression was one of astonishment. She looked down at Charlie and saw a small spark of enthusiasm glowing in his eyes, tentative and a little wary, but a spark none the less.
"That OK with you Charlie?" Bosco asked.
Charlie nodded and watched as Bosco drew Faith to him and kissed her cheek. "Call me if anything happens," he said quietly.
Faith nodded vigorously and watched them go.
---
"He's not the type to confide, ya know what I'm sayin' Faith?"
Faith stared at Rose, not at all sure she knew what Rose was getting at. What she did know was Bosco's mom had on her face the same look of pity her own mother had confronted her with some months before.
"He's no good, Faith," her mother had come right out and said. "The minute things get boring and domestic, men like Bosco up and leave. Just don't get your hopes up too high Faith..."
"You've probably already figured it out," Rose continued sadly, clearly sure of her assumptions, "but it's just not Maurice's way to talk about what's goin' on in his head. He never has. That's his problem - he keeps it all inside..."
Faith moved to say something but Rose rambled on.
"Don't be angry with him, Faith. Just try to understand - Maurice doesn't trust too many people, never has. 'Cept maybe you when you were his partner."
"I still am his partner - just in more ways than one," Faith frowned.
"You know what I mean," Rose murmured dismissively. "When you just worked together, before he..."
An awkward silence ensued.
"Before he 'knocked me up'?" Faith offered stiffly.
Rose shifted uncomfortably under Faith's steely-eyed gaze.
"I'm sorry about sayin' it like that, Faith," Rose mumbled. "I didn't mean it to sound so..." She searched for the right word.
"Sleazy?"
Rose's discomfort intensified. "It was just so...surprisin'. I mean, you and Maurice? You're not exactly what I'd call his type..."
Faith bristled.
"I'm just sayin'," Rose said, noting the growing tension in the air, "Maurice ain't the kind to share his feelings and I'm just givin' you a friendly heads-up. He's my son and god knows I love him but Prince Charmin' he ain't. I'm just worried you might be expectin' too much of him."
Faith stared at her. "We're doin' OK, Rose."
That same look of pity her mother had given her when Faith had tried to assure her all was well crossed Rose's face.
"He'll do alright by his daughter, Faith, you don't ever have to worry there."
Faith rolled her eyes. Why would no one believe her?
"No one else sees the Bosco you know," Isabelle had told her when Faith discussed her mother's reaction with her. "Well, except maybe me when he thinks no one's looking..."
Rose noted a distant expression settle over Faith as in her mind she tenderly revisited every moment of trust and intimacy she and Bos had shared from the time she had welcomed him into their daughter's life.
The Bosco Faith had the privilege of getting to know was not someone who 'kept it all inside'. True, there was nothing flowery about the way he shared his thoughts; oftentimes he was clumsy and barely articulate. But share and confide he did, just as he always had with her. Except now there was a depth to their discussions Faith had never experienced before, with anyone.
While he was not the kind to shower her with roses and poetry, Bos had other little ways of demonstrating his affection. Small things, subtle things, but things he somehow knew would please her. Faith suspected Isabelle's influence there, but that didn't bother her at all. He made the effort and that's what counted. She had not expected it to be that way with Bosco.
"So has he asked you to marry him or what?"
Faith's attention snapped back to Rose. From the look on her face Bosco's mother discerned her own conclusion.
"Didn't think so," Rose said, a clear note of disapproval in her tone. "I'll talk to him for you."
"Stay out of it," Faith said stiffly. "This is between me and Bos."
Rose looked at her, slightly taken aback. "I'm only tryin' to..."
"If you wanna help, stop assuming Bos and I are a train wreck waitin' to happen, alright? Let us work things out on our own terms in our own time."
Rose stared, tight-lipped. "I think I should go," she said after a moment.
"I think that'd be a good idea," Faith agreed.
When Bosco returned from taking Charlie home after soccer practice, Faith greeted him with a warm smile.
"Thank you for doin' that," she said warmly, taking his hand as he settled himself beside her.
"He's missing Fred real bad, poor kid," Bosco said quietly, shrugging. He reached out and touched Gracie's tiny hand and there was a moment of thoughtful silence between them. "It got me thinkin'. Maybe we should switch to days...you know, for the kid's sake."
Faith's eyebrows arched upwards. "You wanna do that?"
Bosco shrugged. "Be better for the kids if we were there when they got home from school, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah, I think it would," she murmured fondly.
Bosco nodded. "How's Gracie doin'?"
"She woke up just after you left and got all fussy and grizzly," Faith reported. "She only settled down about an hour ago. Seems Charlie's not the only one missing dad."
An impish grin tumbled across Bosco's lips. "She missed me?"
Faith grinned. "Well who wouldn't?"
"Well exactly," he chuckled, his eyes never leaving Faith's for a moment.
"Your mom paid a visit," she said, and from her tone Bosco could tell all had not gone smoothly.
"What'd she do?" he intoned grimly.
"She wanted to know if you'd offered to make an honest woman of me," Faith replied lightly.
"I hope you told her it was none of her damn business."
"Basically," Faith said, nodding.
Bosco's eyes caressed hers. "Like I've told you Faith. The minute you feel you wanna go down that road, let me know."
"And if you're not ready to go there?"
"I'll be honest with you if I'm not," he said gently.
Faith nodded thoughtfully.
As a small whimper escaped Gracie they turned their attention to their waking daughter. A wide yawn made its presence felt and after a moment her blue eyes flickered open. She regarded the ceiling directly above her for a while, a small frown furrowing her brow before her eyes drifted to where her parents sat gazing expectantly upon her. She stared at them a while as if contemplating a grand thought.
"Hey Gracie," Bosco said softly, balancing his daughter's hand on the tips of his fingers. "Missed you."
She gazed at him and her eyes seemed to brighten. The frown that had seemingly entrenched itself upon her brow suddenly lifted away and was replaced by the radiant smile of delight they had long missed seeing.
Unable to stop them, tears welled and spilled from Bosco's eyes. He turned to Faith who drew close and let her own tears course her cheeks.
Gracie, their Gracie, was back.
---
TBC. There's not too much more to go here folks. If there's an idea you've got that you'd love to see me tackle, feel free to e-mail it to me. I can make no guarantees but I will consider all suggestions. Address is: spinsterminn@yahoo.co.nz
AUTHOR: Minn
DISCLAIMER: Wells/Chulack/Bernero et al are the rightful owners of Third Watch - God Bless You! I am merely borrowing and intend no disrespect or harm. None of us do. This is fun. No character was actually harmed in the typing of this nonsense. Nothing I say or do will probably ever make a blind bit of difference to what happens on the screen - dammit!
I'M FOREIGN! If you don't understand anything, it'll be 'cos I'm using a uniquely Kiwi expression, something I do try to avoid, but hell, t'ain't easy!
MY MOST HUMBLEST OF THANX: to all the folks who took the time and effort to review this wee effort: Kim1989, mauriceboscorelli, Lynn, Angie, Patty, Hard as nails, Jessssss, Maartje, Amy, Martina, Paisley, sss, ACNutz13, Kerrip-43, Kellycas, Junglegirl, Michelle (cheers!), Carmel (a non-Third Watcher who braved new waters and came out alive!), Helena, Jazz, and FaithYokas101. Cheers guys, glad to have you along for the ride. And my apologies if I've missed anyone!
A SQUILLION, MILLION APOLOGIES for the length of time this has taken! I swear, I wasn't trying to torture anyone!
---
THE ONE CONSTANT
Part 31
"So is she gonna be alright?"
Bosco gazed down at his little girl and softly stroked her hair as she dozed. His brow furrowed at the sight of the small frown that drifted across her face.
It wasn't like Gracie to frown at his touch.
"She's had an infection, Rose - it sometimes happens with bullet wounds. But they think she's over the worst."
"They 'think'?" he heard Faith's mother say. Beside him, Bosco felt Faith shift around uncomfortably.
"Are they doin' anythin' about it?"
Bosco cringed inwardly. It's a hospital, ma, he thought sourly, but kept his silence.
"It's a hospital Rose," Faith said stiffly, "'course they're doin' somethin' about it."
He was sure Faith didn't mean to sound as waspish as she did but worry and its attendant lack of sleep had wound them both as tight as a spring.
"A bullet went through her leg, for crying out loud," Mrs Mitchell said tersely.
"Now tell me somethin' I don't know," Rose replied snippily. "It nicked the femoral artery, ain't that right Maurice? She could've bled to death if the paramedics hadn't been there..."
"The surgeon told us that sometimes there's long term kidney damage in these cases," Faith said suddenly, in a voice that told them all she needed to share the burden. "'Cos of the blood loss. Sometimes even brain damage..."
Stunned silence reigned for a moment. The only other person that knew what the surgeon had confronted them with was Isabelle.
"Oh Faith..." her mother murmured.
"...but 'cos she got immediate medical attention when it happened the chances are she's OK," Faith said quickly as Bosco reached for her hand. "And things are looking good as far as her kidneys are concerned..."
"What about the...?" Rose made a vague gesture with her hand, as if saying the words were too much for her.
"They think she's gonna be fine..."
"They 'think'," Mrs Mitchell murmured again with some disapproval.
"She's gonna be fine," Faith insisted, but there was a distressing waver in her voice. She felt Bosco squeeze her hand.
Bosco gazed fixedly at their daughter, his mind blunt and heavy with worry and fatigue. Gracie was...different. Fervently they both hoped it was the trauma of it all, the pain, the medication, and the lingering affects of the anaesthesia that had dulled the bright spark that was Gracie. But at the back of their minds lurked that shadow - the possibility their little girl was changed forever.
For the first time in a while Bosco felt the nagging urge to drown his sorrows in something soothingly alcoholic.
"Maurice you look exhausted," Rose observed suddenly. "You both do. Why don't you go home, get some..."
"I'm not leavin' her ma," Bosco said stiffly, his gaze focused firmly on his daughter.
"Faith, when was the last time you ate?" Mrs Mitchell inquired of her daughter.
"Isabelle's lookin' after us."
At this, Faith's mother seemed to tense. "Good for Isabelle," she murmured, somewhat caustically.
Rose turned and fixed her with a steely gaze. Bosco felt Faith nudge him.
"What are you looking at?" Mrs Mitchell asked tersely.
"I'm tryin' to figure that out," came the stiff reply.
"Ma..." Bosco intoned.
Mrs Mitchell drew herself up and returned Rose's contemptuous stare in kind. "Is there something you wanna say to me?"
"Well yeah, now you mention it...how's about 'if it wasn't for Isabelle, god KNOWS where my grand daughter mighta ended up'."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Mrs Mitchell demanded.
"You kicked your own daughter into the street, for chrissake!" Rose exclaimed. "What kinda mother does that to her own daughter and baby grand daughter?"
"Bos, don't," Faith murmured as he rose and moved to where the protagonists stood eyeing each other like a couple of cats about to scrap.
"I hardly think you're qualified to give me a lecture on...hey!"
Faith watched the look of consternation and astonishment that flitted across her mother's face as Bosco took her firmly by the arm.
"Maurice, what're you doin'?" Rose demanded as she found herself similarly gripped.
Without a word Bosco guided the women out of the ward and escorted them to the elevator. He waited in angry silence, ignoring their protests, pleas and apologies until the doors of the elevator slid open. Without a word he propelled both mothers firmly inside, then turned and stalked lividly away.
Faith watched Bosco's return silently.
"What was that?" she asked quietly as he resettled himself back in the chair he had made his own for the past couple of days.
"This is tough enough without having to listen to those two sniping at each other," he murmured.
Faith regarded him quietly for a moment. "Wonder what would happen if our fathers ever met."
She saw him flick her a cheeky glance.
"My father'd beat the crap outta yours..."
"Sure he would, Boscorelli," Faith murmured. After a small pause she continued. "You know, we should get them down here, test that little theory out..."
A small smirk played briefly on Bosco's lips. "Life was simpler when our parents hated us and didn't wanna have anything to do with us."
"Actually, I think my father still does hate us," Faith observed coolly.
"And I don't even know where the hell mine is, so..." Bosco shrugged.
Faith watched him stare at their little girl, saw his face set grimly. She reached for his hand and felt him clutch hers tightly.
"She's gonna be fine, Bos," Faith murmured softly.
He didn't respond immediately, just sat staring pensively at his daughter. When he finally spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper.
"There's somethin' wrong, Faith. She's...different..."
"Gracie's a very sick little girl, Bosco," Faith said quickly. "She's been through hell."
"She didn't smile at us when she woke up," he said in a small voice. "She looked at us like she'd never seen either of us before in her life."
He reached out and stroked Gracie's cheek. Yet again a frown drifted across her grim little face.
"Bos, listen to me," Faith said, gazing intently into her partner's eyes as he turned to face her. "Gracie's always been healthy - that's what you're used to seeing. You've never had the experience of worrying about sick kids before. But just because Gracie's different at the moment doesn't mean she's changed forever."
He nodded wearily, and returned his gaze to where Gracie lay, all bandages and IV tubes and grim faced misery.
"I can't believe how tough this is," he murmured, somewhat sheepishly.
"What is?"
"Parenthood," he muttered.
Faith nodded and leaned closer. "They don't ever tell you how tough it's gonna be."
"If they did the human race would soon die out," Bosco grumbled. "No one would do this if they knew...would they?"
Faith allowed herself the luxury of a small chuckle. "Truth - the ultimate contraceptive."
Bosco smiled, but it was only a brief respite from the look of concern that dogged his expression. "Does it get any easier?"
Faith shook her head. "Watching your kids hurt never gets any easier," she said quietly. "It's always unbearable."
"Not helping, Faith," he murmured.
"I just think you need to know what you're in for," she replied.
Bosco couldn't miss the small note of challenge in her tone. He turned and searched her eyes for a moment. "You still have your doubts about me, don't you Faith?"
Faith returned his gaze evenly. "I have doubts about everything, Bos - you, me, our ability to be good parents. Right now I just wanna run away and not have to deal with all this..."
Bosco looked away and nodded. "I was thinkin' the same thing a while back..."
Faith watched him. "The old Bosco would be thinkin' about drownin' his sorrows."
He flicked a glance her way and sat in meditative silence for a while. "The new Bosco's thinkin' that too," he murmured sheepishly.
To his surprise he felt her draw closer and warmly run her hand across his shoulders. "Please don't," she whispered.
"I won't," he said softly, turning to fix his eyes on hers as he shrugged. "Old habits..."
She nodded. "I like the fact that you were honest with me about it. That means a lot."
His face brightened. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Faith felt him slip his arm warmly around her waist.
"It's gonna be OK," he murmured softly. "You'll see."
Faith couldn't help but feel that Bosco was as much trying to reassure himself as he was her.
---
"How was school?"
Charlie shrugged. "OK," he answered. His tone and his description, however, were hardly a matching pair.
Faith watched her son carefully as he gazed at Bosco sitting quietly and attentively by Gracie's bedside.
Their little girl was still fighting the last vestiges of the infection and her coping strategy was to sleep. But when she wasn't sleeping she was grizzling. Gracie was like a stranger to them.
"Is she doing OK?" Charlie asked of Bosco as he ventured over slowly to where he sat.
Faith saw Bosco flick a brief, querying glance her way before responding.
"She's a fighter," Bosco replied quietly, a small, tentative smile hovering on his lips. "Like her mom."
Charlie nodded and stood awkwardly by Bosco's side, staring at his little sister. After some time he spoke again. "She's lucky to have you around."
Bosco looked up at Charlie, his eyes questioning. When Charlie refused to look directly at him, Bosco's gaze drifted slowly Faith's way.
"Charlie? Is everything OK?" Faith asked.
"Sure," was the reply.
Faith frowned slightly. "Isabelle said she'd be a little late but that she'll take you to soccer practice today," she said. "That OK?"
Faith and Bosco exchanged another glance when Charlie responded with a shrug.
"Would you rather I take you?" Faith asked.
"No. It's OK,' Charlie responded wistfully. "I know you wanna be here with Gracie."
Bosco looked up and for a moment Charlie met his gaze. Something about the look Faith's son gave him stirred some uncomfortable memories.
Bosco watched as Faith approached her son and placed her hands upon his shoulders.
"Gracie'll be fine here with Bos and Isabelle," she said. "I'll take you to soccer practice, OK?"
Charlie nodded but he was hardly jumping for joy.
Bosco knew the look Charlie had given him all too well and it ruffled the muddy waters of his own childhood memories. With great reluctance Bosco recalled all the times when the one thing he had wanted most in the world was to spend some time with his father - and to have his father want to spend time with him.
It was a hunger even the most loving of mothers couldn't feed.
For Charlie the hunger was one that could never be satisfied. He would never again have the opportunity to even so much as exchange a word of greeting with his father. Bosco couldn't figure out which was the greater wound - enduring an indifferent, abusive father or losing one as beloved as Fred had been. All Bosco really knew was that, to some extent at least, he understood Charlie's pain on a level Faith simply couldn't relate to.
Isabelle arrived, chatting animatedly with Gracie's nurse. Anna was an angel from on high, a former pupil of Isabelle's who had gone out of her way to give them all the VIP treatment from the moment Gracie had been transferred from the PICU to the paediatric ward.
"Anna here tells me Gracie's making a steady improvement," Isabelle smiled.
"She seems to be doin' better," Faith observed though worry still plagued her expression.
"You all set Charlie?" Isabelle asked.
"Mom said she'll take me to soccer," Charlie said.
"You sure Faith?" Isabelle inquired. "It's no trouble."
Bosco saw Charlie glance his way again.
"It's fine, Iz. Gracie's doin' good and Bos'll be here..."
Bosco looked down at his little girl. She was dozing; a small frown was etched on her brow as had become the norm, especially whenever there was noise or activity around her. But Faith was right. Gracie was out of immediate danger...
He rose stiffly from what had become his accustomed place, leaned forward and touched his lips to Gracie's forehead. She flinched and screwed her face up and his heart broke yet again. 'Come back, Gracie,' he said silently as he reluctantly left her side.
"Faith," he called as his partner and her son made their way out. "I'll take Charlie to soccer."
Faith's expression was one of astonishment. She looked down at Charlie and saw a small spark of enthusiasm glowing in his eyes, tentative and a little wary, but a spark none the less.
"That OK with you Charlie?" Bosco asked.
Charlie nodded and watched as Bosco drew Faith to him and kissed her cheek. "Call me if anything happens," he said quietly.
Faith nodded vigorously and watched them go.
---
"He's not the type to confide, ya know what I'm sayin' Faith?"
Faith stared at Rose, not at all sure she knew what Rose was getting at. What she did know was Bosco's mom had on her face the same look of pity her own mother had confronted her with some months before.
"He's no good, Faith," her mother had come right out and said. "The minute things get boring and domestic, men like Bosco up and leave. Just don't get your hopes up too high Faith..."
"You've probably already figured it out," Rose continued sadly, clearly sure of her assumptions, "but it's just not Maurice's way to talk about what's goin' on in his head. He never has. That's his problem - he keeps it all inside..."
Faith moved to say something but Rose rambled on.
"Don't be angry with him, Faith. Just try to understand - Maurice doesn't trust too many people, never has. 'Cept maybe you when you were his partner."
"I still am his partner - just in more ways than one," Faith frowned.
"You know what I mean," Rose murmured dismissively. "When you just worked together, before he..."
An awkward silence ensued.
"Before he 'knocked me up'?" Faith offered stiffly.
Rose shifted uncomfortably under Faith's steely-eyed gaze.
"I'm sorry about sayin' it like that, Faith," Rose mumbled. "I didn't mean it to sound so..." She searched for the right word.
"Sleazy?"
Rose's discomfort intensified. "It was just so...surprisin'. I mean, you and Maurice? You're not exactly what I'd call his type..."
Faith bristled.
"I'm just sayin'," Rose said, noting the growing tension in the air, "Maurice ain't the kind to share his feelings and I'm just givin' you a friendly heads-up. He's my son and god knows I love him but Prince Charmin' he ain't. I'm just worried you might be expectin' too much of him."
Faith stared at her. "We're doin' OK, Rose."
That same look of pity her mother had given her when Faith had tried to assure her all was well crossed Rose's face.
"He'll do alright by his daughter, Faith, you don't ever have to worry there."
Faith rolled her eyes. Why would no one believe her?
"No one else sees the Bosco you know," Isabelle had told her when Faith discussed her mother's reaction with her. "Well, except maybe me when he thinks no one's looking..."
Rose noted a distant expression settle over Faith as in her mind she tenderly revisited every moment of trust and intimacy she and Bos had shared from the time she had welcomed him into their daughter's life.
The Bosco Faith had the privilege of getting to know was not someone who 'kept it all inside'. True, there was nothing flowery about the way he shared his thoughts; oftentimes he was clumsy and barely articulate. But share and confide he did, just as he always had with her. Except now there was a depth to their discussions Faith had never experienced before, with anyone.
While he was not the kind to shower her with roses and poetry, Bos had other little ways of demonstrating his affection. Small things, subtle things, but things he somehow knew would please her. Faith suspected Isabelle's influence there, but that didn't bother her at all. He made the effort and that's what counted. She had not expected it to be that way with Bosco.
"So has he asked you to marry him or what?"
Faith's attention snapped back to Rose. From the look on her face Bosco's mother discerned her own conclusion.
"Didn't think so," Rose said, a clear note of disapproval in her tone. "I'll talk to him for you."
"Stay out of it," Faith said stiffly. "This is between me and Bos."
Rose looked at her, slightly taken aback. "I'm only tryin' to..."
"If you wanna help, stop assuming Bos and I are a train wreck waitin' to happen, alright? Let us work things out on our own terms in our own time."
Rose stared, tight-lipped. "I think I should go," she said after a moment.
"I think that'd be a good idea," Faith agreed.
When Bosco returned from taking Charlie home after soccer practice, Faith greeted him with a warm smile.
"Thank you for doin' that," she said warmly, taking his hand as he settled himself beside her.
"He's missing Fred real bad, poor kid," Bosco said quietly, shrugging. He reached out and touched Gracie's tiny hand and there was a moment of thoughtful silence between them. "It got me thinkin'. Maybe we should switch to days...you know, for the kid's sake."
Faith's eyebrows arched upwards. "You wanna do that?"
Bosco shrugged. "Be better for the kids if we were there when they got home from school, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah, I think it would," she murmured fondly.
Bosco nodded. "How's Gracie doin'?"
"She woke up just after you left and got all fussy and grizzly," Faith reported. "She only settled down about an hour ago. Seems Charlie's not the only one missing dad."
An impish grin tumbled across Bosco's lips. "She missed me?"
Faith grinned. "Well who wouldn't?"
"Well exactly," he chuckled, his eyes never leaving Faith's for a moment.
"Your mom paid a visit," she said, and from her tone Bosco could tell all had not gone smoothly.
"What'd she do?" he intoned grimly.
"She wanted to know if you'd offered to make an honest woman of me," Faith replied lightly.
"I hope you told her it was none of her damn business."
"Basically," Faith said, nodding.
Bosco's eyes caressed hers. "Like I've told you Faith. The minute you feel you wanna go down that road, let me know."
"And if you're not ready to go there?"
"I'll be honest with you if I'm not," he said gently.
Faith nodded thoughtfully.
As a small whimper escaped Gracie they turned their attention to their waking daughter. A wide yawn made its presence felt and after a moment her blue eyes flickered open. She regarded the ceiling directly above her for a while, a small frown furrowing her brow before her eyes drifted to where her parents sat gazing expectantly upon her. She stared at them a while as if contemplating a grand thought.
"Hey Gracie," Bosco said softly, balancing his daughter's hand on the tips of his fingers. "Missed you."
She gazed at him and her eyes seemed to brighten. The frown that had seemingly entrenched itself upon her brow suddenly lifted away and was replaced by the radiant smile of delight they had long missed seeing.
Unable to stop them, tears welled and spilled from Bosco's eyes. He turned to Faith who drew close and let her own tears course her cheeks.
Gracie, their Gracie, was back.
---
TBC. There's not too much more to go here folks. If there's an idea you've got that you'd love to see me tackle, feel free to e-mail it to me. I can make no guarantees but I will consider all suggestions. Address is: spinsterminn@yahoo.co.nz