DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer - it
all belongs to Joss Whedon.
Author's Note: This is the final chapter of this story BUT not the end. The sequel will be posted very soon - details and spoilers at the bottom. Also, I will take this opportunity to thank anybody who's read my story, and a special thank you to all those who reviewed and encouraged me to write more. Don't stop reading, more is coming soon as you know. And lastly, I know a lot of you are eager for Spuffyness, and it is all on its way.
Chapter 10
'What the hell is her problem?!' Dawn exclaimed as soon as she was sure Buffy was out of earshot.
'Look, Dawn, you need to understand your sister, be sympathetic to her,' Spike comforted. All he could think about was what Angel had told him when they'd seen each other - she loves you Spike. More than she'll ever love me. . . now that you're back, I think you have something to do. . .
That was all that was echoing through Spike's mind. Were all of Buffy's reactions because of him? He needed to find out.
'I'm going to go see if she's alright,' he told the rest of the gang.
'Spike, I dunno if that's such a good idea. . .' Willow said carefully.
'I don't care,' he called out as he rushed up the stairs.
He reached the top floor which had not been shown to him yet, and began searching the rooms for Buffy. Unsurprisingly, he found her in the room with the door shut tight.
'Buffy, it's me,' he called through the door after he knocked. 'Can I come in?'
There was no reply for a moment, then just a weak sound was heard through the door, that Spike took as a 'yes' and walked in.
For the second time in 24 hours, Buffy had retreated to her room, but this time, instead of lying on her bed, she was standing by the sunlit window, looking into the distance.
'Hey,' she said. He walked over to her slowly trying to get a glimpse of her face in the sunlight, something which he had barely seen once before.
'Listen, about what you said. . .' he began.
'It doesn't matter what I said,' she replied. 'Nobody ever listens to me anyway, it's not like this time's any different.'
'Buffy, you're right.'
She looked up at him suddenly, and he saw the light shine across her face, and what seemed to be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen was right in front of him.
'What?'
'You're absolutely right. There are a lot of things that need to be said,' he explained to her. 'But somehow I don't think a lot of those people down there understand what you and I both feel.' He was going over this so carefully trying not to offend her. 'We have a lot of things to say to each other, and I think we should do that right now.' He sat down on the bed, and beckoned her to him. She however stood firm in her place.
Spike said slightly angrily: 'Buffy, I need to know how you feel so that I can get some idea of what's on your mind. There's no use in bottling up your feelings-
'I love you Spike.'
The words hit him like a thunderbolt. At that moment, everything in the world seemed to cease to exist, a whirlwind blew through his mind, and all he could hear in the silence was his heart speeding up at hearing the words. After he had talked to Angel, he said he'd only believe Buffy loved him when he heard it from her own lips. And he just had. Was this the confirmation of happiness for him?
'But. . .' she went on.
His eyes widened. 'But' was without a doubt the worst word in the English language. Nothing positive ever emerged in a sentence when the word 'but' was used. At that moment he felt all the happiness he had felt seconds before drain out of him.
'But what?' he said desperately.
'I need some time. And some space. As much as I hate to admit it, Dawn was right when she said that all I've been thinking about is you. Now that you're back, I really want you here. . .' she paused and turned her head away, not able to look him in the eye. 'Just, understand that I need to wait.'
Spike couldn't believe what he was hearing. She couldn't make him so happy like that and then make him so miserable in the space of a minute.
'Buffy, I have died and come back for you,' he stood up, took her by the shoulders and made her face him. Her eyes were swollen from crying. 'I know it's not easy, but I need you more than anything else. . .'
'Then you'll understand.' Now she was looking directly at him. 'Time and space; that is all I'm asking for.'
He let go of her, realising there was no hope in fighting for it now that she'd made up her mind. 'So, nothing then.' He said, feeling as if he wanted to cry himself.
'No, no, don't get me wrong!' she shook her head. 'I want to be with you.just let me be free for a bit. . .get used to the idea that I don't need to spend the rest of my life as a loser who talks to their 10 cats,' she joked. He smiled.
'That'd never happen with you,' he assured. 'But. . .OK,' he finally said. 'Until then though. . .if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, or anything else for that matter. . .I'm always here for you.'
She smiled, and gave him her hand. He held it for a precious instant, and heat ran through him as he looked into her eyes. The love he felt for her wanted to explode out of him. . .
He let go of her hand and slowly walked out the room, anxiously thinking of the next time he'd be able to touch her as he just had.
**********
Meanwhile downstairs, the rest of them were all enduring awkward silence.
'I hope Spike can get through to her,' Anya said hopefully.
'He always has, in many different ways,' Xander added slightly bitterly. He had never liked Spike much, and sharing an apartment with him was going to be absolute hell.
There was more silence, and then Dawn spoke up. 'Anya, I'd really like us all to spend more time with you and Spike now that you're back. I think everyone will agree that while you were gone, we all realised how much we missed you, and now that you're back we want to enjoy every moment we have with you guys.'
Anya smiled appreciatively. 'That's really sweet of you Dawn. Trust me, neither Spike nor I are going anywhere anytime soon, so we have plenty of time. But I don't want anyone else to feel they're obligated to spend time with us or anything-
'We want to,' Xander stopped her. 'At least I do with you. I feel like I need to get to know you all over again, and I'm really looking forward to it.'
Anya smiled even wider and felt her stomach lurch at what Xander had just said.
Just then, Spike came down the stairs, and everyone looked at him, as if awaiting an explanation. 'Everything'll be alright,' Spike assured them. Remembering what Buffy had said to him, he said: 'She just needs some time and space.'
**********
Later that day, when everyone had gone to normal daily routines, Anya managed to steal a private moment with Xander in the kitchen while he was making a sandwich for himself.
'Hey, Xander?'
He turned around, his hands covered in his sandwich filling. 'Yeah?' his mouth had a bit of food in it, and Anya figured he must've been sampling his sandwich.
'About what you said. . .looking forward to spending more time with me and all. . .did you really mean it?'
He stopped chewing whatever was in his mouth and swallowed it. He brushed his hands together and removed any food on them. 'Of course I did, every word. Why do you ask?'
She hesitated. 'It's just that. . .on my way here. . .I thought a lot about whether it was the right thing to do. . .to come see all you guys again. . .'
He stared at her bewildered. 'Are you kidding? We're all overjoyed that you guys are back. Well actually,' he leaned in closer to her. 'I'm really happy that you're back - Spike, not so much.'
She smiled. 'That's great. . .' Xander went back to making his sandwich. This was the time, Anya was thinking. She needed to let him know how she felt, he obviously felt the same way about her - and why wouldn't he? She was hot, and she was indefinitely human.
'Xander, I'm really glad that you're happy to see me, because I really missed you, and I couldn't wait to see you again. . .'
Xander took a bite out of his newly made sandwich. 'And all I wanted was to see you again too, Anya. I feel the same way about you as you do about me.'
Anya's eyes widened. This was it, the moment she'd dreamt about for so long - they'd get back together, she knew it. . . 'You do?'
'Of course!' Xander said. Anya smiled widely awaiting the next moment. Xander went on. 'It's great to have my bestest buddy back!'
Her smile faded. 'Bestest buddy?' she said depressingly.
'Yeah! Man, remember the fun we had as friends? It'll be great to have that again!'
Anya's smile was getting weaker and disappearing. 'Friends. . .right. . .'
He patted her on the back as he left the kitchen, and she flinched a bit while her face was turned away from him. 'See you later, buddy!' He called.
Anya was left standing in the kitchen, feeling like an idiot. Well, more so than she was already. 'Great - just great,' she said to herself sarcastically. 'Xander as a friend. Just what I've always wanted.' She rolled her eyes with deep annoyance.
**********
Xander walked out the room smiling. As soon as he knew she couldn't seem him anymore, he wiped it away. Bestest buddy. . .what a load of crap that was. Anya was back, he'd wanted this so much.so why was he being so chicken about it? Why couldn't he tell her how he really felt? That he still loved her. . .and had never stopped.
He promised himself he would tell her the truth. . .just when the time was right.
**********
In the next month, the whole gang had gotten used to living in their new way.
Buffy was becoming more cheerful by the day, and it was noticeable by all her friends, because they smiled secretively whenever she came into the room happy about something.
Dawn apologised to Buffy for being unreasonable, but Buffy objected saying that she had been the unreasonable one. Once again, the Summers sisters had made up after a fight.
Spike, to everyone's surprise, was spending very little time with the gang, so that somehow it seemed as though he was a vampire again. He claimed it was because of his very demanding duties as a newly appointed nightclub bouncer, but Buffy was the only one that knew the truth about why he was away so much, and she appreciated it from him greatly.
Xander started not to mind Spike living with him a huge deal, because Spike spent a lot of time either out of the house or locked up in his room. Xander didn't like to think what he did in his spare time, but decided to not discover by never going into Spike's room.
Anya was living with the Summers sisters, Willow, and Kennedy, and was to her surprise being accepted very warmly. Kennedy had helped her get a job at her bar, so she was bringing in some income as well.
The gang knew that the change they had experienced would make sure none of them would ever be the same. But they were reunited once again, and deep down they had vowed to themselves that they'd never leave each other.
As Buffy sat on a hill looking down on her beautiful new home, she looked on to the future, and the adventures that awaited her. She couldn't wait to live through them all.
**********
Author's Note: OK, so this story's over, but there's a lot more to come. My sequel STUNNING LOVE will be posted very soon, and will give you a lot more stuff you've all wanted. The next story has more of a set-plot going on, including a bad guy. In the sequel: Somebody's stupid mistake leads one of the gang to be in fatal danger. There's only one way to save this person - and it requires EVERYBODY'S co- operation. Anya reveals her feelings for Xander - and Xander reacts in a way that shocks her, and will change their lives forever. . . Some definite Spuffy action - no more beating about the bush. . . And an old character visits. . .in a manner of speaking. . . There's gonna be a lot of emotion, pain and love in my sequel - STUNNING LOVE. Please, watch this space! Nat xxx
Author's Note: This is the final chapter of this story BUT not the end. The sequel will be posted very soon - details and spoilers at the bottom. Also, I will take this opportunity to thank anybody who's read my story, and a special thank you to all those who reviewed and encouraged me to write more. Don't stop reading, more is coming soon as you know. And lastly, I know a lot of you are eager for Spuffyness, and it is all on its way.
Chapter 10
'What the hell is her problem?!' Dawn exclaimed as soon as she was sure Buffy was out of earshot.
'Look, Dawn, you need to understand your sister, be sympathetic to her,' Spike comforted. All he could think about was what Angel had told him when they'd seen each other - she loves you Spike. More than she'll ever love me. . . now that you're back, I think you have something to do. . .
That was all that was echoing through Spike's mind. Were all of Buffy's reactions because of him? He needed to find out.
'I'm going to go see if she's alright,' he told the rest of the gang.
'Spike, I dunno if that's such a good idea. . .' Willow said carefully.
'I don't care,' he called out as he rushed up the stairs.
He reached the top floor which had not been shown to him yet, and began searching the rooms for Buffy. Unsurprisingly, he found her in the room with the door shut tight.
'Buffy, it's me,' he called through the door after he knocked. 'Can I come in?'
There was no reply for a moment, then just a weak sound was heard through the door, that Spike took as a 'yes' and walked in.
For the second time in 24 hours, Buffy had retreated to her room, but this time, instead of lying on her bed, she was standing by the sunlit window, looking into the distance.
'Hey,' she said. He walked over to her slowly trying to get a glimpse of her face in the sunlight, something which he had barely seen once before.
'Listen, about what you said. . .' he began.
'It doesn't matter what I said,' she replied. 'Nobody ever listens to me anyway, it's not like this time's any different.'
'Buffy, you're right.'
She looked up at him suddenly, and he saw the light shine across her face, and what seemed to be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen was right in front of him.
'What?'
'You're absolutely right. There are a lot of things that need to be said,' he explained to her. 'But somehow I don't think a lot of those people down there understand what you and I both feel.' He was going over this so carefully trying not to offend her. 'We have a lot of things to say to each other, and I think we should do that right now.' He sat down on the bed, and beckoned her to him. She however stood firm in her place.
Spike said slightly angrily: 'Buffy, I need to know how you feel so that I can get some idea of what's on your mind. There's no use in bottling up your feelings-
'I love you Spike.'
The words hit him like a thunderbolt. At that moment, everything in the world seemed to cease to exist, a whirlwind blew through his mind, and all he could hear in the silence was his heart speeding up at hearing the words. After he had talked to Angel, he said he'd only believe Buffy loved him when he heard it from her own lips. And he just had. Was this the confirmation of happiness for him?
'But. . .' she went on.
His eyes widened. 'But' was without a doubt the worst word in the English language. Nothing positive ever emerged in a sentence when the word 'but' was used. At that moment he felt all the happiness he had felt seconds before drain out of him.
'But what?' he said desperately.
'I need some time. And some space. As much as I hate to admit it, Dawn was right when she said that all I've been thinking about is you. Now that you're back, I really want you here. . .' she paused and turned her head away, not able to look him in the eye. 'Just, understand that I need to wait.'
Spike couldn't believe what he was hearing. She couldn't make him so happy like that and then make him so miserable in the space of a minute.
'Buffy, I have died and come back for you,' he stood up, took her by the shoulders and made her face him. Her eyes were swollen from crying. 'I know it's not easy, but I need you more than anything else. . .'
'Then you'll understand.' Now she was looking directly at him. 'Time and space; that is all I'm asking for.'
He let go of her, realising there was no hope in fighting for it now that she'd made up her mind. 'So, nothing then.' He said, feeling as if he wanted to cry himself.
'No, no, don't get me wrong!' she shook her head. 'I want to be with you.just let me be free for a bit. . .get used to the idea that I don't need to spend the rest of my life as a loser who talks to their 10 cats,' she joked. He smiled.
'That'd never happen with you,' he assured. 'But. . .OK,' he finally said. 'Until then though. . .if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, or anything else for that matter. . .I'm always here for you.'
She smiled, and gave him her hand. He held it for a precious instant, and heat ran through him as he looked into her eyes. The love he felt for her wanted to explode out of him. . .
He let go of her hand and slowly walked out the room, anxiously thinking of the next time he'd be able to touch her as he just had.
**********
Meanwhile downstairs, the rest of them were all enduring awkward silence.
'I hope Spike can get through to her,' Anya said hopefully.
'He always has, in many different ways,' Xander added slightly bitterly. He had never liked Spike much, and sharing an apartment with him was going to be absolute hell.
There was more silence, and then Dawn spoke up. 'Anya, I'd really like us all to spend more time with you and Spike now that you're back. I think everyone will agree that while you were gone, we all realised how much we missed you, and now that you're back we want to enjoy every moment we have with you guys.'
Anya smiled appreciatively. 'That's really sweet of you Dawn. Trust me, neither Spike nor I are going anywhere anytime soon, so we have plenty of time. But I don't want anyone else to feel they're obligated to spend time with us or anything-
'We want to,' Xander stopped her. 'At least I do with you. I feel like I need to get to know you all over again, and I'm really looking forward to it.'
Anya smiled even wider and felt her stomach lurch at what Xander had just said.
Just then, Spike came down the stairs, and everyone looked at him, as if awaiting an explanation. 'Everything'll be alright,' Spike assured them. Remembering what Buffy had said to him, he said: 'She just needs some time and space.'
**********
Later that day, when everyone had gone to normal daily routines, Anya managed to steal a private moment with Xander in the kitchen while he was making a sandwich for himself.
'Hey, Xander?'
He turned around, his hands covered in his sandwich filling. 'Yeah?' his mouth had a bit of food in it, and Anya figured he must've been sampling his sandwich.
'About what you said. . .looking forward to spending more time with me and all. . .did you really mean it?'
He stopped chewing whatever was in his mouth and swallowed it. He brushed his hands together and removed any food on them. 'Of course I did, every word. Why do you ask?'
She hesitated. 'It's just that. . .on my way here. . .I thought a lot about whether it was the right thing to do. . .to come see all you guys again. . .'
He stared at her bewildered. 'Are you kidding? We're all overjoyed that you guys are back. Well actually,' he leaned in closer to her. 'I'm really happy that you're back - Spike, not so much.'
She smiled. 'That's great. . .' Xander went back to making his sandwich. This was the time, Anya was thinking. She needed to let him know how she felt, he obviously felt the same way about her - and why wouldn't he? She was hot, and she was indefinitely human.
'Xander, I'm really glad that you're happy to see me, because I really missed you, and I couldn't wait to see you again. . .'
Xander took a bite out of his newly made sandwich. 'And all I wanted was to see you again too, Anya. I feel the same way about you as you do about me.'
Anya's eyes widened. This was it, the moment she'd dreamt about for so long - they'd get back together, she knew it. . . 'You do?'
'Of course!' Xander said. Anya smiled widely awaiting the next moment. Xander went on. 'It's great to have my bestest buddy back!'
Her smile faded. 'Bestest buddy?' she said depressingly.
'Yeah! Man, remember the fun we had as friends? It'll be great to have that again!'
Anya's smile was getting weaker and disappearing. 'Friends. . .right. . .'
He patted her on the back as he left the kitchen, and she flinched a bit while her face was turned away from him. 'See you later, buddy!' He called.
Anya was left standing in the kitchen, feeling like an idiot. Well, more so than she was already. 'Great - just great,' she said to herself sarcastically. 'Xander as a friend. Just what I've always wanted.' She rolled her eyes with deep annoyance.
**********
Xander walked out the room smiling. As soon as he knew she couldn't seem him anymore, he wiped it away. Bestest buddy. . .what a load of crap that was. Anya was back, he'd wanted this so much.so why was he being so chicken about it? Why couldn't he tell her how he really felt? That he still loved her. . .and had never stopped.
He promised himself he would tell her the truth. . .just when the time was right.
**********
In the next month, the whole gang had gotten used to living in their new way.
Buffy was becoming more cheerful by the day, and it was noticeable by all her friends, because they smiled secretively whenever she came into the room happy about something.
Dawn apologised to Buffy for being unreasonable, but Buffy objected saying that she had been the unreasonable one. Once again, the Summers sisters had made up after a fight.
Spike, to everyone's surprise, was spending very little time with the gang, so that somehow it seemed as though he was a vampire again. He claimed it was because of his very demanding duties as a newly appointed nightclub bouncer, but Buffy was the only one that knew the truth about why he was away so much, and she appreciated it from him greatly.
Xander started not to mind Spike living with him a huge deal, because Spike spent a lot of time either out of the house or locked up in his room. Xander didn't like to think what he did in his spare time, but decided to not discover by never going into Spike's room.
Anya was living with the Summers sisters, Willow, and Kennedy, and was to her surprise being accepted very warmly. Kennedy had helped her get a job at her bar, so she was bringing in some income as well.
The gang knew that the change they had experienced would make sure none of them would ever be the same. But they were reunited once again, and deep down they had vowed to themselves that they'd never leave each other.
As Buffy sat on a hill looking down on her beautiful new home, she looked on to the future, and the adventures that awaited her. She couldn't wait to live through them all.
**********
Author's Note: OK, so this story's over, but there's a lot more to come. My sequel STUNNING LOVE will be posted very soon, and will give you a lot more stuff you've all wanted. The next story has more of a set-plot going on, including a bad guy. In the sequel: Somebody's stupid mistake leads one of the gang to be in fatal danger. There's only one way to save this person - and it requires EVERYBODY'S co- operation. Anya reveals her feelings for Xander - and Xander reacts in a way that shocks her, and will change their lives forever. . . Some definite Spuffy action - no more beating about the bush. . . And an old character visits. . .in a manner of speaking. . . There's gonna be a lot of emotion, pain and love in my sequel - STUNNING LOVE. Please, watch this space! Nat xxx