*VIII*

*HUMOROUS EPILOGUE FOR THOSE WHO HATE DEATH*

*ORO-ific!*

^^

"So…"

"So…"

"Hello."

"ORO?? T-Tomoe??"

"Yes, Kenshin. "

"Wow, she doesn't look that much like me…wonder why Enishi went psycho…"

"Oh, well as a child he was a druggie and was known to have hallucinations now and then."

"Well you're his sister- shouldn't you have protected him?"

"Nah."

"Tomoe, how could you be so cold hearted?"

"You killed me."

"Oh yeah."

"…"

"This is what one would call an awkward moment."

"So how's life been treating you, Kenshin?"

"Well, I think the fact that he's dead should say something."

"Well excuse me for caring."

"Oro."

"Shinta, you stay out of this. This is between me and the Miss. Ghost here."

"Looked in a mirror lately, Zombie girl?"

"Oh be quiet."

"I cant believe you chose her to replace me, Kenshin."

"Oro…"

"I think I was suitable replacement."

"For a cow."

"Hey!"

"Moo…"

"Ooorroo"

"Shinta are you okay?"

"Stop calling him that."

"Well excuse me if he asked that of his love."

"Kenshin suits him better."

"Shinta is prettier."

"I think he's pretty enough already"

"Yeah, if it weren't for the fact that you added a grotesque scar to his face."

"They make for great conversation starters."

"Wouldn't that be the last thing he would want?"

"Ororororo…"

"Kenshin, since when have you started saying that annoying word?"

"Oro?"

"STOP IT!"

"Don't tell my Shinta to stop oro-ing."

"Don't tell me to tell your Shinta to stop oro-ing."

"Don't tell me to tell me to tell your Shinta to stop oro-ing."

"Don't tell me to tell you to tell me to tell your Shinta to stop oro-ing."

"ORO!!"

"You stay out of this!"

"Yeah!"

"oro." -_-

"Hmph! I'm going! I have always disliked raccoons"

"Fine! Go! Shinta and I are happy alone together!"

"Well, then Ill go…do something!"

"Be a whore?"

"*growl* when I am reincarnated I am so going to hurt your reincarnation."

"Ha! Why would you be reincarnated? Who'd want to see a similar face yours all over again"

"Hm…oro…"

"What do you mean, 'hm oro', Shinta?"

"Do you suppose…Kaoru, maybe YOU are Tomoe's reincarnation."

"…"

"…"

"Kaoru? Tomoe?"

"I AINT RELATED TO HER"

"I AINT RELATED TO HER"

"*sigh* oro."

"Weren't you leaving?"

"Well I am now! Good day!"

"Sayonara!"

"Adios"

"Chao"

"oro?"

"KENSHIN WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SAYING THAT BLASTED WORD??"

"o-o-o-oro?"

"*growl* GOOD RIDDANCE!"

"Finally she's gone! Now we can spend some…quality time together, my Shinta."

"O-o-oro….?"

"Hello, my rurouni half."

"ORO?? Battousai??"

"Eh? Aren't…you him…or he's you…or…eh??"

"How do I have two physical halves? Shouldn't you be inside me like you have been for the last 20-somewhat years?"

"Well, technically, I died when Tomoe died since that's when you began your rurouni lifestyle. Course, I resurrected now and then."

"I've noticed…"

"Me too!"

"Kaoru??"

"Heh…heh…*blush*"

"oro…"

"What?"

"oro."

"What the heck is an oro?"

"Its sorta his catch phrase"

"How come the rurouni idiot gets a catch phrase and I, the cooler Battousai version, don't?"

"eh….oro?"

"wheres my lawyer??"

"Yes, Mr. Battousai?"

"Aren't I entitled to a catch phrase like my rurouni half is?"

"Eh, actually no"

"Give me one since your death is carried within this sheath"

"Um ok ok, you chose"

"Hmm, how about….SLICY SLICY!!"

"Slicy Slicy?"

"You know, as I slice the person in half"

"…."

"Like this: SLICY SLICY!"

"Oh…I…*cough* *gasp* *wince* see *dies*"

"I like it already"

"oro…"

"Well, Ill be going now to kill already dead people, considering I'm in heaven"

"what the…oro?"

"How'd you get into heaven??"
"I…don't…know…"

"I work for 10 years to atone all my sins so I can get into heaven, then this guy kills hundreds of people and gets there too?? IS THERE EVEN A HELL??"

"Hades, Shinta, Hades. Cartoon Network doesn't allow us to use the dreaded H-word."

"Yeah and they edited the hell- I mean HADES out of Yumi's death"

"Wonder how they're going to show my fantasies of our wedding night, Shinta. No one DARES mute Kamiya Kaoru!"

"T-t-that they dont"

"Rurouni, you do that de gozaru thing too?? That makes 2 catch phrases!"

"Oro…well, your catch phrase is two words."

"But they're the SAME words"

"Settle down, Kenshins. Now moving back to Cartoon network's poor editing"
"You cant even hear a clear oro! ORO!!"

"Weren't we originally discussing how there's no hell? Er, Hades?"

"But I want to discuss my inability to say oro with Cartoon Network's bad translations."

"No. SLICY SLICY"

"Ha! You cant kill me, for I am already dead!"

"Oro"

"ORO!!! HE TOOK MY CATCHPHRASE"

"I Kamiya Kaoru, will be Shinta's lawyer. You have used this copyrighted phrase of my husband-er, client. Now you must give me…"

"Myself?"

"*blush*

"ORO!! NO NO NO"

"Heh heh, um, as I was saying…a….nifty poem about your merciless killing!"
"Oro…that sounds vaguely familiar"

"Oh, well, Soujiro did it in a Truth or Dare review this author wrote"

"A poem? I'm a manslayer, not a poet!"

"I wouldn't have known it ^^x"

"Shinta, that was corny"

"Oro"

"Here it goes:

Strands brush against my forehead
Shadowing my eyes dead
Nothing to see or be seen
Simply living life scene by scene
Tickling breeze at my ears
Muting all my regrets and fears
Carries with it the smell of blood
Pouring downward in a constant flood
But it dare not disturb me in any way
Red is colored no differently than gray
Open my eyes but still am blind
Nothing is lost so there is nothing to find."

"That was…oro-ific!"

"Wow, nice…a manslayer and a poet…hm, Why'd I go for Shinta instead of Battousai again?"

"ORO!!"

"Heh heh kidding"

"Hey, technically, oro is Kenshin's catch phrase- not Shinta's!"

"oro?"

"So you, Rurouni, being Shinta, do not own the catch phrase"

"Eh, I think he's right, Shinta"

"So I have to write a poem too?"

"If a manslayer like me who kills mercilessly can do it, so can a rurouni!"

"Um…HEY LOOK! A DISTRACION!!"

"Where?? I will impress it with my Slicy Slicy catch phrase! Byes!"

"Thank you, Kaoru"

"Oh your welcome. We all know your poetry sucks"

"Oro!!"

"No offense or anything"

"oro…"

"Plus its not like oro rhymes with anything"

"Churro"

"Shinta, do you even know what a churro is?"

"An expensive Disneyland treat that sells for 50 cents at swap meets with extra sugar?"

"Eh, yes. But that's beside the point."

"oro"

"Hm, that brings up another thing."

"Oro?"

"How do we know what cartoon network is?"

"Its heaven! Free digital cable!"

"No wonder!!"

THE END

So…a…um, free kenshin collage I made with a photoshop knock-off that looks really "tight"( to quote my friend) to whoever can count how many times I wrote the word "oro" (including THAT one) on this page. ^^ ) The "ororororo" counts as one oro. Both those oros and the one used in this sentence count as well. ^^ To make it easier, count all oros before this asterisk * ORO!! ßthat one don't count  ^^

*ABOUT THE POEM* I actually DID write that poem, and its posted under my fictionpress account under "wind" No ones reviewed it though so that's sorta odd. Oh well ^^ My morbidness only needs to be loved by me and me alone to be good ^^ (oh and by fictional characters that I make love it)

A/n: sorry for the lateness….my internets been weird…it like works…then it doesn't…luckily I was able to upload this, get AIM, submit reviews, and fix my profile page. ^^ Oh and I most likely WILL be changing my penname to Sorceress Kirara so…yeah. Anyhow, thanks to all those who reviewed, and also to all those who didn't but enjoyed the story ^^. Hope you enjoyed this final comedic chapter, as well as the angst ones before it. Maybe I'll write some like this, dunno. But thx for all the encouragement ^^

Jouchan-racoon-grl~ Heh, sorry bout the late update(especially with the cliffies), but glad you like ^^ And hope the hula went well ^^

Catrina3~ I always have my ways to make the morbid humorous, as seen above ^^
Crystal Renee~ ^^ funny funny! Hehe, Battousai sleeping under your bed ^^ Actually, I wasn't originally planning to have him in it, but the review made it seem so perfect! ^^ I love those types of reviews ^^ Anyways, thanks for reading and glad you like this ^^

To end this, I shall close it off with my all time favorite quote from one of my lengthy reviews to my friend's stories.

Kenshin:*kills Shishio*
All: YEAH!
Miroku: hey can u kill Naraku?
Kenshin: sure. *kills Naraku*
Hermione: and Voldemort?
Kenshin: why not? *kills Voldemort*
Soujiro: hey, didnt you say you werent gonna kill again?
Kenshin: O_O Um, you saw nothing. Nothing at all. *slowly backs away hiding blood stained sword behind his back*
Kenshins lawyer: please sign this paper saying you saw Kenshin kill nothing...nothing at all.
All: *sign paper*

Oh and this one ^^

Battousai: prepare to meet your death. *cool sword swings*
Enemy named Bob: But...I have wives and a kid and I only entered this war to protect them.
Battousai: don't you mean a wife and kids?
Bob: nope! That's why I cant die! Please you have to spare my life!
Battouasi: speak to the sword because the manslayer aint listening.