Joan yawned loudly and stretched as a new morning greated her. The smell of
tea and freshly baked bread was everywhere and she smiled as opened her
eyes expecting to see the beautiful painting on the ceiling of her hotel
room. But all she could see was a brown coloured low uneven ceiling. She
looked around and she was in a rather small room with a round window and a
round opening which had no door. Then she sat up, and saw that she was
inside a room she has never been in. Then she started to stand and looking
for slippers she noticed something that made her hair stand on end and she
gave out a loud scream.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! __________________
Keira was snuggling with the blankets in her bed. "Get up, sleepyhead" someone said shaking her. Thinking it was the maid, room service, or someone else working at the hotel, she lifted her hand out from under the covers, and motioned the person to go away. But the person wouldn't and the next thing Keira knows, the blanket is being ripped off of her, "Ok, ok, I'm up" she said opening her eyes to see a man, walking out of the room. That was weird she thought shaking her head. Keira looked around, this wasn't the place she was staying at. She blinked thinking maybe she was still dreaming. Looking down at the floor she noticed something weird. there was hair on her feet. She knelt down, and pulled on the hair, trying to see if a joke had been played on her. "Ouch" __________________
Joan's head swam, so many questions raced to find answers were swelling inside her. " Hairy feet...hairy feet...Hairy feet..." she said shakily. Over and over as if it was some sort of a mantra. Then a small mirror placed crudely at the top of a small table with lots of assortments of whatchamacallits caught her eye, and as she gazed her fears turned to terror. Complete, unadulterated terror!
"AHHHHHHHH!!!! My hair...my hair...my hair! Noo! My boobs! What happened to my big boobs!" She said feeling the almost flat chest that used to be, what she thought, was a major come on. Then she noticed another difference that made her vomit, her outfit. "DWAAARRRKKKK!!!! Ugh! Oh god...oh god...oh...my...god!!!" Then the reality sank, and so did Joan. She pinched herself to convince her that it's all real. And she bled, pinching so hard with long dirty fingernails.
"I'm....a...Hobbit..." She said at last, her tears started falling and she wimpered. She thought that it was all just a joke, or even a dream. She wanted to be in Middle Earth but not like this. Not as a hobbit. She figured with her good looks and attitude she should at least be an Elf. Even a lesser kind without any real role in the story would have sufficed. But not this...never this. It took her quite some time before she would get out and figure things out.
She walked around the house, first in circles as the rooms opened up one after the other, because hobbit houses have only one door and that the front one, all the other rooms are divided only by round openings, and so Joan found herself going in circles. Then a door did open and close and someone went inside. She panicked. Who could it be? She wondered. Then an old man came in carrying a crude almost ancient kind of pitch fork and said, "Oh, I see yer up at last. 'bout time too, was about to pour some water on that darn face of yours, why I've been shaking you like a dragon for hours and still you haven't come to. Mr. Bilbo's been lookin' for you all mornin'. You better scuttle over there and see what he wants Sam."
At the sound of that name Joan felt like a huge object was hurled with great force at her direction. "What did you call me??" She asked, her anxiousness growing, being a hobbit was really a nightmare - to be stuck with hairy feet, and curly hair and to be short! But to be this hobbit...was unimaginable.
"Did you just say...(gulp!) Sam??" She said her eyes blinking rapidly as if a stroke was about to happen.
"Alright then, would you prefer Samwise Gamgee?? Or Mr. Gamgee perhaps, Hmm? Stop this foolishness right now young man before I smack your bottom with this here pitchfork. Get out there and get..." Before he could finish Joan fell to the floor. __________________
Nick Stewart's eyes slowly flickered open when he became aware of the pain in his back. He let himself fall sleepily to the floor. Once down, he couldn't help smelling how different this place was from his uncle's house. Shaking his head, he forced himself to stand up and try to work things out. "What? Ugh. Where I am I?" He took a seat on his bed to try remembering what had happened. He didn't figure out that he was a hobbit since he wasn't paying much attention. "Okay, I remember that Gandalf dude. What else? oh well. I'll just go back to bed. I hate dreams like this." __________________
"why won't this stupid hair come off" Keira said still tugging at the hair on her feet. It was no use though the hair wouldn't. So, she got up from the floor, walking over to the dresser she saw a small mirror. The mirror had dirt smudges all over it. Keira looked at herself, her face, her hair it was all different. She shook her head thinking maybe she had been fallen asleep while watching the Lord of the Rings on HBO. She walked out of the room, still trying to figure out who that man was who took her nice soft blanket. "Meriadoc Brandybuck" a voice said from behind her, thinking they were talking to someone else she kept on walking. Then she felt someone grab her by the ear"Meriadoc you turn to me when I'm talking to you" __________________
Pimpernel Took remembered all too well that his brother had promised him a game of marbles first thing in the morning. He also knew that his brother was not looking forward to the game, and so he took it upon himself to wake up his sibling. The sun had already risen in the sky, and though it was only 7:30 in the morning, Pimpernel decided that it was late enough to awaken Pippin. He knew his brother's all-to-fond love of sleep, and he knew that if he didn't do something that the game of marbles would be waiting for a very long time. And it wasn't always that you could completely destroy your younger brother at your favorite game, nor was it often that you got to wake him from a deep sleep with a douse of cold water on his neck.
Pimpernel grinned and rubbed his hands together with relish. He didn't get to tease Pip enough, and this opportunity was just too grand to miss. Tiptoeing down the wooden hall, being cautious to avoid the one squeeking floorboard, Pimp approached his brother's room, a pitcher of ice cold water in hand. Quietly he turned the doorknob and peered into the room. Sure enough, there was Pip, snoring away soundly beneath the white sheets with a completely idiotic look on his face. You would think that he was dreaming about some pretty Hobbit lass with that look on his face. He was a fun- loving one . . . but, whatever, he was great fun to beat at marbles! Pimp tiptoed some more, issued the cold shower he had prepared, and laughed a shrill laugh as his brother shot up from the bed wide-eyed.
"What in the heck?" Shouted Theo, sitting up as fast as he could as his eyes focused beneath the dripping water. He started, unable to believe his eyes, his mind working faster than he had ever remembered. He was sitting in a small, comfortable wooden bed in a small room with rounded corners, surrounded by all kinds of comfortable, rounded furnishings. There were wooden chairs covered with inviting cushions, a dresser with an old- fashioned wash pitcher upon it, a night stand with a candle, and a tall oval mirror neatly washed, all lit with the sunlight that poured through the glass panes of a nearby rounded window. And there, staring at him in the face, stood a Hobbit. The Hobbit seemed to be laughing his head off. What did it all mean? Was he still dreaming? Whatever the case, Theo decided that he did not want to wake up. Everything seemed too real anyway, and he decided that even if he tried to wake up, nothing would change. He remembered dimly waking up upon a table amongst the Convention stands, but from then on things got shady in his mind. He remembered losing his ring and then searching to find it . . . only then things had gotten weird. He could remember the weird wizard man, staring at him with impish little eyes. The old man actually had the nerve to say he could transport people to Middle-earth! Theo's breath caught and he looked around himself once more. Wait a minute . . . he was in Middle-earth! The man had spoken the truth! Unless this whole thing was still a dream, which was completely possible. But the old wizard had also said that he needed to change. That was idiotic in itself. Theodore Tandeski was told by no one that he needed to change. He had brains, and brains were what counted.
The Hobbit at his bed side had stopped laughing, for indeed, he was quite puzzled. Pimp did not understand why his brother did not get upset or even seem to notice the freezing water dripping down his face. His fun had been spoiled, simply because of Pip's odd reaction. "What kind of a word is 'heck?' You sound like some human from Bree!"
"Uhhh. . . ." Was all Theo could manage. He needed to use his brains now if ever! Theodore fully intended to enjoy this time. Since he was in Middle- earth, he might as well make use of it and become a ruling lord or something. Afterall, his mind was much more sophisticated than most of the people in this fantasy world, and to top it off, he knew the entire history of this world, or as much as had been created! There Theodore's mind stopped as though it had hit a brick wall, and he fell back with a short laugh. How could he be in Middle-earth? I mean . . . did that mean he could change the future of this Middle-earth as well? Or wait . . . was it a dream?
More cold water hit him in the face, this time thrown by a slightly angry Hobbit. "Where's your head this morning, Peregrin Took! You aren't even acting like yourself! I guess I shouldn't ask you where your head is since you never use it anyway, but whatever!" The little Hobbit stomped an impatient foot.
"Hey there now!" Theo sat up in the bed and folded the sheets across his chest daintily. "Don't you go talking to me that way! I am by NO means going to put up with it! You will talk to me with decency and respect . . . you do not know who you are addressing!"
"So that's the game, is it?" The little Hobbit almost shouted, obviously angry by this time. "You have decided to pretend that you are insane simply to get out of a single game of marbles. You are hopeless! You can't even keep a promise! You don't have the conscience!"
"I am Theodore, King of Middle-earth!" Theo said with a swaying lilt in his voice, obviously enjoying the moment.
Now, the Hobbit merely roared with laughter, forgetting everything in his amusement. "Get out of bed you lazy thing and get ready to play marbles . . . I'm going to beat you grandly."
"Ah, whatever, but I don't know about the marbles. I've got a lot of exploring to do."
Pimp threw up his hands in a hopeless gesture. "You promised, and I will hold you to your word. Now then, if you don't play marbles, I won't lend you the cart you need to make the trip to Hobbiton." He grinned from ear-to- ear.
"Hobbiton? I'm going to Hobbiton?"
The Hobbit rolled his eyes and turned around without another word. "See you in a bit when you're dressed . . . I'm going to tell Patsy not to make you any breakfast until you fulfill your promise." He left the room.
Theo stared at the closing door, attempting to grasp what was going on. Almost drawn, but not quite wanting to look, he edged his way across the waxed wooden floor to the looking glass. He saw the reflection that he had been dreading to see, but almost knew that he would have. So he was a Hobbit. Why couldn't he have been an elf? Why couldn't he have been in Rivendell? Why couldn't he. . . . Theo fell back onto the bed, too overwhelmed to speak
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! __________________
Keira was snuggling with the blankets in her bed. "Get up, sleepyhead" someone said shaking her. Thinking it was the maid, room service, or someone else working at the hotel, she lifted her hand out from under the covers, and motioned the person to go away. But the person wouldn't and the next thing Keira knows, the blanket is being ripped off of her, "Ok, ok, I'm up" she said opening her eyes to see a man, walking out of the room. That was weird she thought shaking her head. Keira looked around, this wasn't the place she was staying at. She blinked thinking maybe she was still dreaming. Looking down at the floor she noticed something weird. there was hair on her feet. She knelt down, and pulled on the hair, trying to see if a joke had been played on her. "Ouch" __________________
Joan's head swam, so many questions raced to find answers were swelling inside her. " Hairy feet...hairy feet...Hairy feet..." she said shakily. Over and over as if it was some sort of a mantra. Then a small mirror placed crudely at the top of a small table with lots of assortments of whatchamacallits caught her eye, and as she gazed her fears turned to terror. Complete, unadulterated terror!
"AHHHHHHHH!!!! My hair...my hair...my hair! Noo! My boobs! What happened to my big boobs!" She said feeling the almost flat chest that used to be, what she thought, was a major come on. Then she noticed another difference that made her vomit, her outfit. "DWAAARRRKKKK!!!! Ugh! Oh god...oh god...oh...my...god!!!" Then the reality sank, and so did Joan. She pinched herself to convince her that it's all real. And she bled, pinching so hard with long dirty fingernails.
"I'm....a...Hobbit..." She said at last, her tears started falling and she wimpered. She thought that it was all just a joke, or even a dream. She wanted to be in Middle Earth but not like this. Not as a hobbit. She figured with her good looks and attitude she should at least be an Elf. Even a lesser kind without any real role in the story would have sufficed. But not this...never this. It took her quite some time before she would get out and figure things out.
She walked around the house, first in circles as the rooms opened up one after the other, because hobbit houses have only one door and that the front one, all the other rooms are divided only by round openings, and so Joan found herself going in circles. Then a door did open and close and someone went inside. She panicked. Who could it be? She wondered. Then an old man came in carrying a crude almost ancient kind of pitch fork and said, "Oh, I see yer up at last. 'bout time too, was about to pour some water on that darn face of yours, why I've been shaking you like a dragon for hours and still you haven't come to. Mr. Bilbo's been lookin' for you all mornin'. You better scuttle over there and see what he wants Sam."
At the sound of that name Joan felt like a huge object was hurled with great force at her direction. "What did you call me??" She asked, her anxiousness growing, being a hobbit was really a nightmare - to be stuck with hairy feet, and curly hair and to be short! But to be this hobbit...was unimaginable.
"Did you just say...(gulp!) Sam??" She said her eyes blinking rapidly as if a stroke was about to happen.
"Alright then, would you prefer Samwise Gamgee?? Or Mr. Gamgee perhaps, Hmm? Stop this foolishness right now young man before I smack your bottom with this here pitchfork. Get out there and get..." Before he could finish Joan fell to the floor. __________________
Nick Stewart's eyes slowly flickered open when he became aware of the pain in his back. He let himself fall sleepily to the floor. Once down, he couldn't help smelling how different this place was from his uncle's house. Shaking his head, he forced himself to stand up and try to work things out. "What? Ugh. Where I am I?" He took a seat on his bed to try remembering what had happened. He didn't figure out that he was a hobbit since he wasn't paying much attention. "Okay, I remember that Gandalf dude. What else? oh well. I'll just go back to bed. I hate dreams like this." __________________
"why won't this stupid hair come off" Keira said still tugging at the hair on her feet. It was no use though the hair wouldn't. So, she got up from the floor, walking over to the dresser she saw a small mirror. The mirror had dirt smudges all over it. Keira looked at herself, her face, her hair it was all different. She shook her head thinking maybe she had been fallen asleep while watching the Lord of the Rings on HBO. She walked out of the room, still trying to figure out who that man was who took her nice soft blanket. "Meriadoc Brandybuck" a voice said from behind her, thinking they were talking to someone else she kept on walking. Then she felt someone grab her by the ear"Meriadoc you turn to me when I'm talking to you" __________________
Pimpernel Took remembered all too well that his brother had promised him a game of marbles first thing in the morning. He also knew that his brother was not looking forward to the game, and so he took it upon himself to wake up his sibling. The sun had already risen in the sky, and though it was only 7:30 in the morning, Pimpernel decided that it was late enough to awaken Pippin. He knew his brother's all-to-fond love of sleep, and he knew that if he didn't do something that the game of marbles would be waiting for a very long time. And it wasn't always that you could completely destroy your younger brother at your favorite game, nor was it often that you got to wake him from a deep sleep with a douse of cold water on his neck.
Pimpernel grinned and rubbed his hands together with relish. He didn't get to tease Pip enough, and this opportunity was just too grand to miss. Tiptoeing down the wooden hall, being cautious to avoid the one squeeking floorboard, Pimp approached his brother's room, a pitcher of ice cold water in hand. Quietly he turned the doorknob and peered into the room. Sure enough, there was Pip, snoring away soundly beneath the white sheets with a completely idiotic look on his face. You would think that he was dreaming about some pretty Hobbit lass with that look on his face. He was a fun- loving one . . . but, whatever, he was great fun to beat at marbles! Pimp tiptoed some more, issued the cold shower he had prepared, and laughed a shrill laugh as his brother shot up from the bed wide-eyed.
"What in the heck?" Shouted Theo, sitting up as fast as he could as his eyes focused beneath the dripping water. He started, unable to believe his eyes, his mind working faster than he had ever remembered. He was sitting in a small, comfortable wooden bed in a small room with rounded corners, surrounded by all kinds of comfortable, rounded furnishings. There were wooden chairs covered with inviting cushions, a dresser with an old- fashioned wash pitcher upon it, a night stand with a candle, and a tall oval mirror neatly washed, all lit with the sunlight that poured through the glass panes of a nearby rounded window. And there, staring at him in the face, stood a Hobbit. The Hobbit seemed to be laughing his head off. What did it all mean? Was he still dreaming? Whatever the case, Theo decided that he did not want to wake up. Everything seemed too real anyway, and he decided that even if he tried to wake up, nothing would change. He remembered dimly waking up upon a table amongst the Convention stands, but from then on things got shady in his mind. He remembered losing his ring and then searching to find it . . . only then things had gotten weird. He could remember the weird wizard man, staring at him with impish little eyes. The old man actually had the nerve to say he could transport people to Middle-earth! Theo's breath caught and he looked around himself once more. Wait a minute . . . he was in Middle-earth! The man had spoken the truth! Unless this whole thing was still a dream, which was completely possible. But the old wizard had also said that he needed to change. That was idiotic in itself. Theodore Tandeski was told by no one that he needed to change. He had brains, and brains were what counted.
The Hobbit at his bed side had stopped laughing, for indeed, he was quite puzzled. Pimp did not understand why his brother did not get upset or even seem to notice the freezing water dripping down his face. His fun had been spoiled, simply because of Pip's odd reaction. "What kind of a word is 'heck?' You sound like some human from Bree!"
"Uhhh. . . ." Was all Theo could manage. He needed to use his brains now if ever! Theodore fully intended to enjoy this time. Since he was in Middle- earth, he might as well make use of it and become a ruling lord or something. Afterall, his mind was much more sophisticated than most of the people in this fantasy world, and to top it off, he knew the entire history of this world, or as much as had been created! There Theodore's mind stopped as though it had hit a brick wall, and he fell back with a short laugh. How could he be in Middle-earth? I mean . . . did that mean he could change the future of this Middle-earth as well? Or wait . . . was it a dream?
More cold water hit him in the face, this time thrown by a slightly angry Hobbit. "Where's your head this morning, Peregrin Took! You aren't even acting like yourself! I guess I shouldn't ask you where your head is since you never use it anyway, but whatever!" The little Hobbit stomped an impatient foot.
"Hey there now!" Theo sat up in the bed and folded the sheets across his chest daintily. "Don't you go talking to me that way! I am by NO means going to put up with it! You will talk to me with decency and respect . . . you do not know who you are addressing!"
"So that's the game, is it?" The little Hobbit almost shouted, obviously angry by this time. "You have decided to pretend that you are insane simply to get out of a single game of marbles. You are hopeless! You can't even keep a promise! You don't have the conscience!"
"I am Theodore, King of Middle-earth!" Theo said with a swaying lilt in his voice, obviously enjoying the moment.
Now, the Hobbit merely roared with laughter, forgetting everything in his amusement. "Get out of bed you lazy thing and get ready to play marbles . . . I'm going to beat you grandly."
"Ah, whatever, but I don't know about the marbles. I've got a lot of exploring to do."
Pimp threw up his hands in a hopeless gesture. "You promised, and I will hold you to your word. Now then, if you don't play marbles, I won't lend you the cart you need to make the trip to Hobbiton." He grinned from ear-to- ear.
"Hobbiton? I'm going to Hobbiton?"
The Hobbit rolled his eyes and turned around without another word. "See you in a bit when you're dressed . . . I'm going to tell Patsy not to make you any breakfast until you fulfill your promise." He left the room.
Theo stared at the closing door, attempting to grasp what was going on. Almost drawn, but not quite wanting to look, he edged his way across the waxed wooden floor to the looking glass. He saw the reflection that he had been dreading to see, but almost knew that he would have. So he was a Hobbit. Why couldn't he have been an elf? Why couldn't he have been in Rivendell? Why couldn't he. . . . Theo fell back onto the bed, too overwhelmed to speak