Author's Notes: Thank you to those of you who reviewed. You gave me
motivation to write another chapter. Keep replying and I shall keep
writing! ( I hope this is not too slow of a start.
Disclaimer: What's that? You say I don't own Squaresoft? Why all that time I thought I did. Boy do I feel silly.
***
Seifer opened his eyes to a quiet, dark room. The silence was eerie, almost frightening. He wondered when he had fallen asleep, the events of that day seeming very hazy. It was now two in the morning, and he had no idea if he'd just shut his eyes, or if he'd been asleep for hours. He only knew that his body was no longer tired, and decided that he would not waste his time trying to get back to sleep. Of course, it wasn't as though he would make good use of his time awake either.
He stood up and felt a throbbing pain in his hand, the knuckles crusted with blood and swollen. The broken pieces of the mirror sporadically strewn across the floor helped to jog his memory about the earlier events. He vowed he would never own another mirror again and chuckled at the seven years bad luck he had awarded himself. It wasn't as though he would have stood a chance with good luck anyhow, so he mind as well seal his fate.
He did not know exactly where he would go, but knew he did not want to stay in his silent room any longer. He picked up his gray trench coat and walked out of the door into a hallway. The dim lights above him flickered, but illuminated the dust and cobwebs of the space. Seifer knew this motel did not resemble a four star hotel in any way, but it was cheap and he knew that no one would care about his past here. The other people that stayed here were usually rock bottom like he was, so they would not judge Seifer.
He stepped outside, the cool air smacking him in the face. It was a refreshing difference between the stale, hot air of the motel. This air was pure. He took a deep breath and the freshness surged through his lungs.
The motel was on the outskirts of Fisherman's Horizon. Seeking further solitude, Seifer decided not to follow the road into town. Instead he decided he would walk through the open fields toward a pond that lay far ahead. He had been fishing at this pond a few times with his good friends Fujin and Raijin, and it was one of the few places that had pleasant memories associated with it.
The moon was half covered by the clouds, but still allowed him enough light to find his way. It was easy to see the pond ahead, since the gentle waters were illuminated as the moon's glow was reflected away.
When he reached the body of water, he stood at the edge. He thought back to the time directly after the Sorceress War. There had been a trial for him, but it had been determined that Seifer had not acted upon his own will during the war, and he had been released back into the public. The first people he had seen were Fujin and Raijin, and they had welcomed him with open arms. The three had spent their days fishing, traveling, and staying away from the public. Seifer had truly enjoyed this time, and was sad when it came to an end. Fujin and Raijin had been longing to get back to Balamb Garden, and Seifer had been too blind to see it. His friends knew that Seifer would not go back with them, and had been delaying to tell Seifer that they were going to leave. They told Seifer two days before they were scheduled for admittance to Balamb Garden, and Seifer had been very upset. He had said some cruel words and vulgarisms to his friends out of rage, and had not spoken to them the next day, missing his chance to say farewell. Their paths had not crossed since, but Seifer still thought of his comrades every day.
Since his trial ended, Seifer had not seen the six heroes of the war. He did not know if he could face them. He still harbored a lot of hate towards Squall, but not nearly as intense as his hate had been during the war. It was frightening for Seifer to think back on the fury that had been burning inside him during the battles. He never wanted such horrible emotions to overtake his body again. He hoped that he was not capable of such anger and evil without Ultimecia, but he could never be certain. This thought continued to plague him.
Still standing above the glowing water, Seifer looked down and again saw his reflection. He realized that despite all his efforts, there was no way he could escape himself. He had a lot of issues to deal with, and being by himself certainly did not help him. It only left him more time to worry about the past and lose hope for his future. The more he searched for his identity, the more he despised himself.
He walked away from the water, which had disappointed him. What he had once associated with only good memories, was now stirring up skeletons of his past and a dismal future. He knew he needed to take steps to change things in his life, but he felt like he was trying to walk with an earthquake beneath him making every step of the way uncertain.
He stopped in the middle of a field after something had caught his eye. Through a thicket of trees, he had seen a glimmer of something with an outline very similar to.He brushed the impossible thought out of his mind. It couldn't be what he thought it was, could it? He believed his eyes were now betraying him.
He continued forward, quickening his pace now. The closer he came to the object, the more certain he was. His eyes had not betrayed him after all. There, parked in this field, hidden behind some trees, sat Balamb Garden.
He stood a safe distance away, in awe of the large structure. He had not set eyes on the place is such a long time. It seemed like such a strange twist of fate that it had been so close by while he had been contemplating his past.
Seifer imagined all of the people inside who were oblivious to the fact that he was so close by. He hadn't a clue how they would react if they saw him after all that had happened. Would they be judgmental? Would they be disgusted? Would they be angry?
.Would they be forgiving?
Seifer tried to brush the thoughts of Balamb Garden's occupants out of his mind. Why should he care what they thought of him anyhow? None of them mattered to him. They were all just sheep, sticking together like a herd, scared to stray away from the path they were on. Seifer was not like them, he had never been and never would be. He could not play along as though he were. He had come to this epiphany even as a child. The other orphans had played along with one another and pretended that the world was a decent place and that they all had futures ahead of them with kind families. Seifer would not play with the others, and instead would bully and tease them. He was also unwilling to accept the world as the other orphans had, and he did not harbor the childish hope that there would be a happy ending to his orphan life.
He had never been one to conform, it was more natural for him to be an outsider. He wasn't sure what his true identity was, but he knew he was not a sheep. He could not deny that the path he had chosen was a lonely one though.
Part of him wanted to walk into Garden, just to have an interaction with people that he knew. He realized that their reaction to him would probably be unpleasant, but he was at the point in loneliness where any social contact would be an improvement upon his current state. As though his limbs had a mind of their own, he began to take steps toward the Garden. His mind was telling him how foolish he was being, but he felt as though he had no control over his body. As he moved forward Balamb seemed to increase in it's size and grandeur, and all of a sudden he became very overwhelmed and intimidated by it. He stopped within a few strides of the entrance. Just as he was about to turn away and start back, he heard a suspicious feminine voice say "Seifer Almasy?"
Seifer clenched his teeth and cursed himself for being such a fool. What on Earth had possessed him to come so close to this place? With his back still to the speaker, Seifer said slightly annoyed "Trepe."
He turned around to face Quistis, her appearance much the same since his trial. Her long blond hair was pinned up in her typical style, an updo that Seifer had always found to fit her uptight personality quite well. She wore her black boots and a knee length skirt as she often had, with a top that exposed just a small portion of her flat stomach. As her student he had always resented her for exposing her flesh, teasing all males with what they would never have, but would always want. Quistis Trepe was oblivious to the thoughts of her male students, and it was probably better off that way. She wouldn't want to know what her male students thought.Seifer laughed at himself for having, at one point in time, thought them as well. She was the picture of a perfect woman, but Seifer was never able to stand her personality.
Quistis had quickly examined Seifer as well. He was a little shabbier looking, with bags under his brooding eyes. His appearance was not very surprising though, but his stare seemed to reveal a little more about him. There was not the same confidence about him, and his spirit seemed beaten down. She almost felt pity for him, before he opened his mouth.
"What are you fucking looking at?" Seifer spoke, turning away from her gaze. He knew he was being hypocritical though, because he had been staring at her as well. He felt that he needed to break the silence and tension somehow though. Perhaps he had not been very tactful, but it had worked.
Unphased by Seifer's statement, Quistis cocked her head to the side a little and said, "What are you doing here?"
Quistis' eyes were on him once more, and he could feel them stabbing into him. Crossing his arms he questioned back "What the hell does it matter to you?"
"It doesn't," Quistis shot back. She confirmed with her words what Seifer had always thought: his existence did not matter. She walked past him, too tired to deal with this man, and headed toward the entrance of Balamb Garden.
Just as she was about to walk in the door, something inside of Seifer caused him to speak up, "What are you doing out here so late?" He was genuinely curious because Quistis was always rule abiding, and was not known to stay out past curfew.
"I don't believe that is any of your business," Quistis said rudely. She was not in the mood to speak to anyone, especially not Seifer Almasy. She quickly said "Goodnight," to let Seifer know the conversation was over and entered the Garden. Seifer looked at the door for a moment and then turned away to head back to his motel.
As he walked away, Quistis peered out of the doorway. She watched as his tall silhouette disappeared into the night. She wondered if this would be the last time she would see him. Why had he shown up all of a sudden anyhow? It was too late to entertain such thoughts. She shut the door, leaving Seifer on the outside.
Disclaimer: What's that? You say I don't own Squaresoft? Why all that time I thought I did. Boy do I feel silly.
***
Seifer opened his eyes to a quiet, dark room. The silence was eerie, almost frightening. He wondered when he had fallen asleep, the events of that day seeming very hazy. It was now two in the morning, and he had no idea if he'd just shut his eyes, or if he'd been asleep for hours. He only knew that his body was no longer tired, and decided that he would not waste his time trying to get back to sleep. Of course, it wasn't as though he would make good use of his time awake either.
He stood up and felt a throbbing pain in his hand, the knuckles crusted with blood and swollen. The broken pieces of the mirror sporadically strewn across the floor helped to jog his memory about the earlier events. He vowed he would never own another mirror again and chuckled at the seven years bad luck he had awarded himself. It wasn't as though he would have stood a chance with good luck anyhow, so he mind as well seal his fate.
He did not know exactly where he would go, but knew he did not want to stay in his silent room any longer. He picked up his gray trench coat and walked out of the door into a hallway. The dim lights above him flickered, but illuminated the dust and cobwebs of the space. Seifer knew this motel did not resemble a four star hotel in any way, but it was cheap and he knew that no one would care about his past here. The other people that stayed here were usually rock bottom like he was, so they would not judge Seifer.
He stepped outside, the cool air smacking him in the face. It was a refreshing difference between the stale, hot air of the motel. This air was pure. He took a deep breath and the freshness surged through his lungs.
The motel was on the outskirts of Fisherman's Horizon. Seeking further solitude, Seifer decided not to follow the road into town. Instead he decided he would walk through the open fields toward a pond that lay far ahead. He had been fishing at this pond a few times with his good friends Fujin and Raijin, and it was one of the few places that had pleasant memories associated with it.
The moon was half covered by the clouds, but still allowed him enough light to find his way. It was easy to see the pond ahead, since the gentle waters were illuminated as the moon's glow was reflected away.
When he reached the body of water, he stood at the edge. He thought back to the time directly after the Sorceress War. There had been a trial for him, but it had been determined that Seifer had not acted upon his own will during the war, and he had been released back into the public. The first people he had seen were Fujin and Raijin, and they had welcomed him with open arms. The three had spent their days fishing, traveling, and staying away from the public. Seifer had truly enjoyed this time, and was sad when it came to an end. Fujin and Raijin had been longing to get back to Balamb Garden, and Seifer had been too blind to see it. His friends knew that Seifer would not go back with them, and had been delaying to tell Seifer that they were going to leave. They told Seifer two days before they were scheduled for admittance to Balamb Garden, and Seifer had been very upset. He had said some cruel words and vulgarisms to his friends out of rage, and had not spoken to them the next day, missing his chance to say farewell. Their paths had not crossed since, but Seifer still thought of his comrades every day.
Since his trial ended, Seifer had not seen the six heroes of the war. He did not know if he could face them. He still harbored a lot of hate towards Squall, but not nearly as intense as his hate had been during the war. It was frightening for Seifer to think back on the fury that had been burning inside him during the battles. He never wanted such horrible emotions to overtake his body again. He hoped that he was not capable of such anger and evil without Ultimecia, but he could never be certain. This thought continued to plague him.
Still standing above the glowing water, Seifer looked down and again saw his reflection. He realized that despite all his efforts, there was no way he could escape himself. He had a lot of issues to deal with, and being by himself certainly did not help him. It only left him more time to worry about the past and lose hope for his future. The more he searched for his identity, the more he despised himself.
He walked away from the water, which had disappointed him. What he had once associated with only good memories, was now stirring up skeletons of his past and a dismal future. He knew he needed to take steps to change things in his life, but he felt like he was trying to walk with an earthquake beneath him making every step of the way uncertain.
He stopped in the middle of a field after something had caught his eye. Through a thicket of trees, he had seen a glimmer of something with an outline very similar to.He brushed the impossible thought out of his mind. It couldn't be what he thought it was, could it? He believed his eyes were now betraying him.
He continued forward, quickening his pace now. The closer he came to the object, the more certain he was. His eyes had not betrayed him after all. There, parked in this field, hidden behind some trees, sat Balamb Garden.
He stood a safe distance away, in awe of the large structure. He had not set eyes on the place is such a long time. It seemed like such a strange twist of fate that it had been so close by while he had been contemplating his past.
Seifer imagined all of the people inside who were oblivious to the fact that he was so close by. He hadn't a clue how they would react if they saw him after all that had happened. Would they be judgmental? Would they be disgusted? Would they be angry?
.Would they be forgiving?
Seifer tried to brush the thoughts of Balamb Garden's occupants out of his mind. Why should he care what they thought of him anyhow? None of them mattered to him. They were all just sheep, sticking together like a herd, scared to stray away from the path they were on. Seifer was not like them, he had never been and never would be. He could not play along as though he were. He had come to this epiphany even as a child. The other orphans had played along with one another and pretended that the world was a decent place and that they all had futures ahead of them with kind families. Seifer would not play with the others, and instead would bully and tease them. He was also unwilling to accept the world as the other orphans had, and he did not harbor the childish hope that there would be a happy ending to his orphan life.
He had never been one to conform, it was more natural for him to be an outsider. He wasn't sure what his true identity was, but he knew he was not a sheep. He could not deny that the path he had chosen was a lonely one though.
Part of him wanted to walk into Garden, just to have an interaction with people that he knew. He realized that their reaction to him would probably be unpleasant, but he was at the point in loneliness where any social contact would be an improvement upon his current state. As though his limbs had a mind of their own, he began to take steps toward the Garden. His mind was telling him how foolish he was being, but he felt as though he had no control over his body. As he moved forward Balamb seemed to increase in it's size and grandeur, and all of a sudden he became very overwhelmed and intimidated by it. He stopped within a few strides of the entrance. Just as he was about to turn away and start back, he heard a suspicious feminine voice say "Seifer Almasy?"
Seifer clenched his teeth and cursed himself for being such a fool. What on Earth had possessed him to come so close to this place? With his back still to the speaker, Seifer said slightly annoyed "Trepe."
He turned around to face Quistis, her appearance much the same since his trial. Her long blond hair was pinned up in her typical style, an updo that Seifer had always found to fit her uptight personality quite well. She wore her black boots and a knee length skirt as she often had, with a top that exposed just a small portion of her flat stomach. As her student he had always resented her for exposing her flesh, teasing all males with what they would never have, but would always want. Quistis Trepe was oblivious to the thoughts of her male students, and it was probably better off that way. She wouldn't want to know what her male students thought.Seifer laughed at himself for having, at one point in time, thought them as well. She was the picture of a perfect woman, but Seifer was never able to stand her personality.
Quistis had quickly examined Seifer as well. He was a little shabbier looking, with bags under his brooding eyes. His appearance was not very surprising though, but his stare seemed to reveal a little more about him. There was not the same confidence about him, and his spirit seemed beaten down. She almost felt pity for him, before he opened his mouth.
"What are you fucking looking at?" Seifer spoke, turning away from her gaze. He knew he was being hypocritical though, because he had been staring at her as well. He felt that he needed to break the silence and tension somehow though. Perhaps he had not been very tactful, but it had worked.
Unphased by Seifer's statement, Quistis cocked her head to the side a little and said, "What are you doing here?"
Quistis' eyes were on him once more, and he could feel them stabbing into him. Crossing his arms he questioned back "What the hell does it matter to you?"
"It doesn't," Quistis shot back. She confirmed with her words what Seifer had always thought: his existence did not matter. She walked past him, too tired to deal with this man, and headed toward the entrance of Balamb Garden.
Just as she was about to walk in the door, something inside of Seifer caused him to speak up, "What are you doing out here so late?" He was genuinely curious because Quistis was always rule abiding, and was not known to stay out past curfew.
"I don't believe that is any of your business," Quistis said rudely. She was not in the mood to speak to anyone, especially not Seifer Almasy. She quickly said "Goodnight," to let Seifer know the conversation was over and entered the Garden. Seifer looked at the door for a moment and then turned away to head back to his motel.
As he walked away, Quistis peered out of the doorway. She watched as his tall silhouette disappeared into the night. She wondered if this would be the last time she would see him. Why had he shown up all of a sudden anyhow? It was too late to entertain such thoughts. She shut the door, leaving Seifer on the outside.