Chapter 4: Never Mind
"Remy…you awake…?" Rogue whispered, it was 1.30am, and she'd entered Remy's room. She herself had just woken up, her sleeping patterns slightly off by jet lag and exhaustion. Her sleep had been plagued with thoughts of Jared. She hadn't been able to take her mind off of it, and was fretting that she wouldn't sleep well until Remy knew.
It was the reason she'd come to see Remy at this moment, to tell him, and hopefully have his forgiveness.
The room was completely dark, even the blinds had been closed tightly to prevent any outside light from seeping in.
"Oui," Remy's voice came from the darkness, "c'mon in," he murmured softly.
Rogue stepped in, closing the door behind herself.
"Couldn't sleep?" Remy asked, he let go of her, she heard him move away.
"I slept earlier, but my sleeping pattern is so fucked up," she heard him shuffle around, she hard a soft thud as if something heavy had been put down, and then the sound of a match being struck. A dim soft yellow light broke through the darkness as Remy lit a candle he'd placed down on the cabinet.
Rogue looked at him, "How about you?"
"Had a few hours sleep, got up an hour ago," he walked over to the window, moving the slats of the blinds open just a tad, he glanced outside. "Wanted to be wide awake for this. I figure in another hour and twenty minutes I'm gonna be very alert."
Rogue watched him, there was something tense about the way he moved.
Rogue sat down slowly, "I can't believe you're really going to do this."
"It's not like I'm really going to steal," he leaned against the wall, he picked at one of his fingernails absently, his hands nervous.
Rogue looked at him, he was tense, she could tell. "Are you alright?" she asked.
"I'm fine. Just sometimes I get a little panicky with jobs like this, I'm not sure how I'm gonna get out before being caught. I know there's no real danger, but still…" he took a deep breath.
Rogue smiled a little, she'd always thought of him as a confident thief, it was strange seeing him so nervous, and up tight about this. Her smile then faded, with him so uptight and tense, it might not be the best time to tell him about Jared having told her he loved her just yet. She needed to wait until he was calm.
He walked over and sat beside her, "god I hate being like this," he sighed, "your heart thuds, feel sweaty…and I've done this kind of thing a million times…I should be fine…" he sighed.
Rogue looked at him, his eyes caught the flickering of the candle light, twinkling like rubies against onyx. "Relax, sugar," she murmured, she reached over and placed her covered hand upon his arm. "If you're this tense during the job, you're gonna fail…" she stated.
"I know…I know…" He sighed, he rubbed his temples to try and ease the tension he was feeling in his head.
Rogue knelt up on the bed, "take your shirt off."
"What?" he turned to her, looking at her as if she were absurd.
"Don't ask questions," Rogue tugged on the back of his
shirt, pulling it up, "just do it."
Remy responded, yanking his
dark grey T-shirt off, he tossed it aside.
Rogue climbed behind him, "Just tell me if I'm hurting you too much, okay?" she placed her hands at the nape of his neck and began to massage, her gloves protecting them both from the effects of her powers. He leaned forward a little, she moved her hands, kneading his flesh from his neck to all areas of his back.
Remy closed his eyes and let her, it was the most contact they'd really ever had for a long time, he let her touch – even with the leather confines of her gloves between them – and the soft candle light seduce him, and his tension began to diminish.
"Feel any better?" she asked softly.
"Tons," he admitted, "don't stop though," he sighed delightedly.
"I'm gonna have to eventually, my hands are getting sore," Rogue responded, she continued for a few more moments, and then slowed to a stop.
He leaned back against her, she wrapped her arms around, his back pressing against her chest, his washboard abdomen under her fingers. They remained like that for a time, in the silence.
"R'member the night you tried to seduce me – on this very bed?" Remy asked.
Rogue felt a blush creep upon her cheeks, and was thankful his back was turned to her and he would never see. "Vaguely," she lied.
"You musta been pretty desperate for a way to get out of bein' caught goin' through my shit to have gone to the trouble of tryin' that on," he admitted.
"I was in need of a quick solution – I took the easy way out. Like you've never done something like that to get your ass out of trouble," Rogue commented.
Remy gave a soft laugh, "I knew you wouldn't go through with it, y'know."
"Really?" Rogue asked, "What made you so sure?"
"Oh, c'mon…sixteen year old girl, never touched a guy before, comin' on with that sexy pose and all the rest?" He asked, "I knew you'd chicken out."
"I didn't chicken out," Rogue responded, "You passed out."
"You thought I passed out, I never did," he responded, "truth was, I didn't want you doin' that just to get out of a sticky situation. Besides," he craned his neck around and looked at her, "woulda got you out of one sticky situation and right into another, probably quite literally I expect."
Rogue blushed again.
"I was momentarily tempted to leave you to your own devices and see what happened, just to see how far you were willin' to go to get your ass out of trouble," he admitted, "I knew what you'd been up to the minute I got into my room…I see good in the dark, and when I opened the door you had panic on your face."
Rogue looked at him, "And you were gonna let me go ahead anyway even though you knew what I'd been doing?"
Remy smirked, "Maybe," he shrugged, "Wasn't every day I had you on my bed wantin' me – or even pretendin' to."
Rogue felt her cheeks flush even more, they felt as if they were burning, "But you chickened out."
"I didn't chicken out, Chere," Remy craned his neck
again and looked at her, "It just didn't feel right," he shrugged once again,
and looked away again, "truth is…when I'm with you…sex is never an issue…" he
sounded a little baffled about this himself, "I don't know how to say this
without you taking it the wrong way, but you don't turn me on in the way that
most other women used to."
Rogue gaped and shoved him a
little off of her, "what?!"
"See, I knew you'd take it the wrong way…" he sighed, he leaned up, turning towards her, "What I mean is…when I'm with you, the emotional part of our relationship seems to…" he made a face, searching for the word, "compensate for the lack of sexual…"
Rogue wasn't sure how to take that, "You don't find me sexy?"
Remy laughed, "course I do…sometimes you set my blood racin'."
"Like?"
"That night you and Kitty went to Asylum together and I was there…you had one of your cute little gothic outfits on…my god, you don't know what that did to me."
"Why have you never told me about this before…?" Rogue smiled a little, slightly flattered.
"Because…I don't know, you're younger than me, and…it never seemed proper."
"You're talking about proper – you sent me a nude photo of yourself for gods sake. How 'proper' is that?"
"That wasn't me," Remy burst out laughing, "one of the guys here is really good with photo manipulation, he took a photo of me and pasted my head onto some gay porn models body!"
Rogue put her hands to her face as an onslaught of laughter burst from her mouth.
Remy tried to shush her, "ssh, chere, you gonna wake everyone up."
"I'm sorry," Rogue laughed, "But Kitty has a print out of that and drools over it constantly," she stifled more laughter, "I can't wait to tell her that the guy in that picture is gay."
Remy laughed, "did you really think I'd pose nude?"
Rogue pursed her lips for a moment, trying to stop laughing, then she blurted out "Yes!"
"What made you think that?" he asked.
"Well…you did pin me to a wall with your thing floppin' around about two inches from my leg…" Rogue trailed off.
"You caught me off guard, I didn't have time to pull on my boxer shorts," he responded, "besides," he added. "I thought you would have actually caught on that the picture wasn't me…"
"I never looked at your…uhm…thing. How could I really compare differences?"
Remy smirked, "Is that what you're gonna call it? My 'thing'?" He seemed so amused, "ah, but anyway, no, I wasn't talking about my 'thing'. Although I have to say I could put that porn model to shame. No, the picture, you know I have a scar on my chest, in the picture, the body doesn't have a scar, I thought you would have picked up on that right way," he explained.
Rogue blushed, "ohhh," Rogue silently reminded herself in her thoughts to tear up her own print out of the picture when she got back to the mansion.
Remy looked away, "How much do you…I dunno, think about sex?" he asked with a shrug, he pretended to be more interested in his fingernails than looking at her.
Rogue chewed the inside of her cheek, "before…y'know…the rape…" she said softly, "I used to think about it like all the time…although it used to scare me…now I've had the worst of it, it…doesn't scare me so much…it probably should…" she admitted.
Remy looked back to her, his eyes softening, "you still think about it then?"
She shrugged, "isn't a crime, is it?" she felt slightly embarrassed admitting it. "I just keep…wondering…about when…me…and you—" she didn't get a chance to finish her sentence, Remy interrupted.
"We'll get there eventually, Chere," Remy looked at her, "just gotta be patient is all…for the right time…" he reached over, touching her covered arm, "and there will be a right time."
"But aren't you like…I don't know…sexually frustrated, I mean it's been like…eight… months since you had sex…" Rogue felt a bitter anger rile her up for a moment, thinking of Remy being intimate with Bella Donna while she sat in a damp cellar room locked away. It still haunted her.
"I'll wait eight years if I have to."
Rogue chewed the inside of her cheek again, looking down to the bed covers absently, "don't let it be that long."
He looked at her worriedly, he was very good at reading situations like this, but with Rogue, it was so hard to read her. He wasn't sure what she was trying to say exactly. "What…are you….sayin'?" he asked.
Rogue's cheeks were positively burning now, "what'd you think I'm sayin'?" she asked shyly.
"Don't play the 'what do you think I mean' game, Chere…" Remy pleaded, "If you have something to say, then say it?"
Rogue sighed, "never mind…" she mumbled, and got up, she was out of the room before Remy had a chance to stop her. He sighed, and his heart sank slightly in his chest, and he wondered just how close he might have been to becoming intimate with the girl he loved.